Political animosity has been crazy lately. The Tea Party really dislikes debt. The Occupy Wall Street hippies scream about how they hate greed or something. President Obama says he can’t work with those unreasonable Republicans, and the Republicans are all like, “We can’t work with the president because he’s a socialist dummy.” And you know it’s only going to get worse this year as the presidential election heats up. I mean, the Republicans are already attacking each other over who is being a moderate or being pro-amnesty or being Mitt Romney. And when the field is down to one Republican, the left is going to scream that he’s a racist, right-wing lunatic, and then the right will point at the state of the country and yell at Obama, “You did that! You did that! No! Bad president!”
And no matter who wins the presidential election, there will still be more arguing and yelling and, with Occupy Wall Street, maybe some biting. Politics is just one big noisy headache. Why can’t everyone get along and work for the betterment of our country? What is the solution here?
So far the only attempted solution has been to ask out loud over and over, “Why can’t everyone just stop arguing and get along?” Despite a whole organization being formed to ask this question, No Labels, this has not worked and has actually just become further noise in the political cacophony. So how do we stop all this angry arguing?
I think I know how. The solution has been in front of us this whole time, and it’s really simple. What America needs is more apathy.
It’s a foolproof solution. Many people already embody this idea. They don’t get worked up by what the president is doing, because they don’t care. They never get mad at what the speaker of the House says, because they have no idea what that is. And when they see a debate on TV, they never get angry about what anyone says and instead just say, “I thought Dancing with the Stars was on.”
I know what some of you are thinking: “I don’t know that this apathy idea will work for me.” Well, that’s your problem — you’re thinking about it. Thinking leads to opinions, and opinions eradicate apathy. Instead, you just need to shrug your shoulders and say, “Eh.” Then — BOOM! — the argument is over.