Truth in Advertising: Cowboys & Aliens Does in Fact Offer Cowboys and Aliens
Cowboys & Aliens may not win any Oscars, but it should win a Truth in Advertising award. Picture the cast of Unforgiven suddenly discovering they’re in Independence Day and you’ll get the picture.
This movie, directed by Iron Man helmer Jon Favreau, seems to have been designed to while away a couple of hours for airplane viewers. It meets generally agreed-upon blockbuster standards without messing with ideas (as Iron Man did) or providing a comment on reality (ditto) but also without going as bonkers as, say, Green Lantern.
A flinty and ruthless Daniel Craig plays a loner who, as the camera lovingly sweeps over the sandy scrub of the Southwest, wakes up from an unspecified ordeal silently wondering why he has a mysterious slash in his midsection and a high-tech-looking gizmo on his wrist. After he fails to dislodge the latter with a rock he is forced to dispatch a sinister, roaming group of cutthroats that threatens to haul him in for a bounty.
The loner doesn’t remember who he is (or even whether he’s a good guy or a villain — a nice touch). As he recovers from his wounds in a nearby town where locals include an affable saloon-keeper (Sam Rockwell) and a no-nonsense sheriff (Keith Carradine), he runs afoul of the local punk (Paul Dano), whose habit is to randomly fire his pistol in all directions in the middle of town. The loner doesn’t like this but nobody messes with the kid whose father is the feared cattle baron and controls everything in these parts.
The setup is perfectly enjoyable, exactly the kind of thing Clint Eastwood did so effortlessly in his 70s Westerns, but the hint that things are slightly askew makes you expect a boldly imagined second act. One of many early signs that we might be in for a terrifically suspenseful popcorn picture is the first appearance of the cattle baron, Dolarhyde: He’s Harrison Ford. Even better, he’s the surliest cuss west of the Mississippi. And like so many Eastwood figures, he’s got a Civil War background that has scarred him forever. Best of all: He’s the villain, a leathery hombre as cruel as cactus.
Nice concept, but poor execution if the trailer is any indication. Another formulaic arcade ride for the kiddies. The movie will probably make gobs of money, especially overseas-and that is just what this is: a paycheck for the Hollywood A-listers whom made this movie. Nice to see Daniel Craig un-bonded.
As for the cowboy genre, it is a little tired, yet there are many good stories to tell. Perhaps someone (me?) will write a movie about black cowboys?
I would love to see a big screen epic about the 10th Cavalry (Buffalo Soldiers). Since the army brought the 10th back in the early 90s, their history has become even more interesting and relevant.
No aliens needed,
He rode a blazing saddle, he wore a shining star.
Heck, how about the story of the wagon train that beat the Donner Party by two years, got caught in deep snow in the Sierras in winter, had to abandon wagons, split up, nearly starved … but got to California with two more than they started out with? How about a movie about Jack Hays, the Texas Ranger captain, or the Goliad massacre — the ‘other’ Alamo. Or Britt Johnson, who went searching for his family and other captives taken by the Comanche from raids into Texas, just after the Civil War. There are dozens of stories out there, that have just barely been touched upon by Hollywood. Their loss — and ours, too.
Texans and Aliens?
I see a genre starting.
“Don’t mess with Texas!” — it sounds so much better in the original Klingon.
I agree. I hope it’s better than the trailer, which looks like Transformers with the human cast dressed up as cowboys for Halloween.
As one who has actually seen it (The wife and I were off work today), it’s a rousing good time at the theater! I was more than a bit wary of the whole concept, but it came off really well. I disagree with the author’s assessment of HF’s character (I thought it was deeper and better developed), but overall, a GREAT summer popcorn flick!
I like that idea
Me too, just please, don’t let Mario Van Peebles direct it.
Mel Brooks beat you to it.
“Genre jams” like this are nothing new. “The Phantom Empire” (Mascot, 1935) was a serial about an underground “super-civilization” called Murania that was attempting to invade the Earth’s surface. Unfortunately for them, their initial attack point was a couple of miles from Gene Autry’s Radio Ranch. Somehow, Gene always managed to beat off the latest Muranian attack in time to do his radio broadcast, helped by a number of kids in strange outfits calling themselves the “Junior Thunder Riders”. (Their battle cry? “To The Rescue!”)
Overall, it was probably no sillier than this effort. And it was also probably considerably cheaper to make, even in “adjusted” dollars.
cheers
eon
Watched ‘The Phantom Empire’ when I was a kid on Saturday morning serials. Good times.
A few more “Genre Jams”. BEAST OF HOLLOW MOUNTAIN (1956) with Guy Madison as a rancher in 19th century Mexico who battles a T.Rex that has been slaughtering cattle. CURSE OF THE UNDEAD (1959) w/ Michael Pate as gun slinging vampire in the old-west. SPOILERS OF THE PLAINS (1951) W Gene Autry. This is a combination Western/ Cold War Spy picture. VALLEY OF THE GWANGI (1969) another western with cowboys vs dinosaurs. TWO LOST WORLDS (1950) a swashbuckler with dinosaurs starring James Arness.
What gets me is that people actually get PAID for dreaming up this junk. Hollywood really has run out of ideas.
It’s at least its own movie, compared with the never ending stream of sequels, prequels, remakes, and reboots.
I’m planning on seeing it. I very rarely go to the movies, given the paucity of original ideas, but i’m a sucker for sci-fi.
Has anyone read “The Weapon Shops of Isher”, by A.E. Van Vogt? If not, and you like sci-fi, read it. You’ll probably only find it at a used-book store, since I believe it is out of print. If done right, (always a big if) it would make a graet movie. It involves a multi-billionaire, a princess, an oppressive government, the only immortal man, and to top it off, the big bang.
Murasakii, I have read that story, and it was great! It was in a compilation of Sci-Fi tales put out in the 50′s, I believe ( maybe the early 60′s) May I suggest another great one: “Alas , Babylon” by Pat Frank. Another one with great cinema potential, if done right.
It is kind of unlikely that aliens would arrive here only in modern times as they always seem to do. I like the concept. Think about how helpless our civilization would be against them on horseback in the 19th century, then understand that the hundred years since then would make no difference at all against someone who could project power from as far away as invading aliens. I would not expect a true version to have a happy ending, but we are scrappy little vermin.
If you’re going to be realistic about it you’d realize there’s nothing here worth climbing up and down our gravity well. If we are to be exploited by interstellar aliens they’d probably just strip mine our Oort cloud and be on their way. But who’s to say they haven’t already.
Do I detect a head-cold-threat phobia/prejudice?
Keep in mind the lengths to which NASA went in regards to quarantine and post-return isolation of man, machine and collected material samples to avoid OUR potentially being exposed to any substance or organism against which we have no natural immunity. Likewise, considerations for prospective “boots on the ground” visits by any human Earth critters who might some day visit the Red Planet.
Hardly trivial or some thin plot device, but a rather prudent safety precaution, one that H.G. Wells astutely and cleverly had his Martian invaders ignore at their fatal peril.
How about Rambo & Aliens? Rocky vs. Aliens?
Don’t kid yourself – I never say never about Hollywood.
——–
At least there was The King’s Speech.
You left out Ninjas v. Aliens, Vampires v. Aliens, and Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants v. Aliens (my personal favorite). BTW anyone else disappointed in ‘Falling Skies’? I thought, ‘Dale Dye, can’t go wrong there!’ But no, I underestimated the potential for failure and suckage in Hollywood again.
Yep, who knew an Alien conquest of the Earth could be so boring.
Yep, Falling Skies has what must be the most stupid or incompetent aliens since Mel Brooks invented Spaceballs. Here we have hundreds of civilians milling around a huge school building, running all over the outside during daylight, showing many lights at night, and making lots of noise — and the aliens (who have total air supremacy & can fly everywhere at will) don’t discover them? In fact the aliens didn’t even spot them while the mob was stretched out on the road. The writers of this nonsense need to study at least a semester of military science at any ROTC school before they are allowed to write another season.
Guess this plot needs a couple of the aliens from Predator to come show them how to fight.
Ok, I see a French knight in a castle catapulting a cow at an Alien.
Always with the proviso that “done right” I’d like to see a movie version of Poul Anderson’s “High Crusade” in which a 14th century english village take over an alien ship because the aliens have stupidly forgotten about hand to hand combat. The entire village goes on the space ship and are taken out into the bad guys empire where they wreak havoc in the name of “God” and return to find the earth somewhat the less religious. It would be a Hoot!
Never mind, I just discovered it’s been done already in a campy sort of way which is really not what I hoped for. Bah Humbug.
Hey, guys, go for the gold! Jaws IV: Alien Hors D’Oeuvres! Imagine what that big mechanical Great White Shark could do to an alien if suitably equipped with a vacuum suit and titanium teeth! Plus, it would be a trip to have the shark as the Good Guy for a change.
At the first glimpse of the guy with the laser arm-thingy my mind said instantly, “Laserblast.” We’ve hit a new low if Hollywood is borrowing from B-movies like that. (If you’ve never seen Laserblast, avoid it unless in MST3k format).
Hmmm, How about a far out sci-fi flick that has mysterious but sometimes comical characters, and set it in “the future” but mess with people’s heads by starting out with something like…..”Long ago….some place far away” or something. Make it a modern day epic and start it at the end with the promise of prequels to come. It could have western-style saloon shoot-em-ups, comical bar scenes, some really lofty technobabble and ships that are so big as to stagger the imagination.
Then, introduce a really really dark character as the villain, only gradually make him more human as the movies come out so that by the end, everyone feels sorry for him. The opportunity for expansion on this is huge.
And…the best part…call the bad guys the “Empire” and pattern their behavior after known conservative traits like loyalty and good management. yeah…that could work. But the “rebels” would be the ones with the advantage due to their “diversity” and “acceptance of others”.
Wow, I think I’m on to something here. Anyone got Spielberg’s number?
Ranks of Bronze >David Drake< would do well considering the recent gladiator movies and TV series.
At one time in the 80′s a proposal was made to the television networks for a series based on Henry Kuttner’s Galloway Gallegher character.
The suits just couldn’t warm to the idea of a genius inventor was also was a drunk.
All right, Firefly/Serenity fans: ever wonder why there are no aliens in the Firefly universe? Apart from the fact that Joss Whedon just didn’t want to spend any screen time on Star-Wars-ish muppetry, we have to conclude that the Alliance (or whatever pre-Alliance federation the refugees from Earth-that-was concocted) exterminated them. I want to see the Firefly prequel(s) in which Malcolm Reynolds’ great-grandfather fought the 24th century equivalent of the Indian Wars…. Space Westerns rule!
Howz’about James Cameron remaining faithful to his evil Earthmen premise and sticking closer to our own colonial history by making his next installment in the Avatar series about groups of independent colonists (unsanctioned by the Resources Development Administration), fleeing religious/political persecution or just desperate for opportunity, invading Pandora through greatly improved cloning technology enabling settlers to take on Na’vi bodies permanently without the intercession of Eywa. Have them, to varying degrees, warring with, cooperating with, intermarrying with the natives while setting up their own Thirteen Colonies and a nascent government.
As another plot possibility, we could have new archaeological discoveries being made on the planet showing that perhaps the Na’vi were not always peaceful stone-age hunter-gatherers (something that has NEVER existed amongst humans–how come these guys are warriors but have never been at war?) but had gone through varying stages of technology and civilization and conflict in the past. Indeed, how about further developments in which we find out that the Na’vi do not live only on Pandora and are not only innocent, nature-worshiping primitives but are also a mighty, space-faring federation that is extremely pissed at belatedly finding out that their ancestral homeworld is being violated by aliens?
Telling you man, Terminators vs Predator! Predator’s help John Connor and the humans destroy the machines, because they don’t want one of their favorite hunting preserves ruined. Think Ducks Unlimited with killer laser gun fights.
Phased laser rifle in the 40 watt range!
No, Critters versus… hmmm, Gremlins. Yes, that’ll do.
I suspect “Firefly” didn’t have any aliens because the producers were too lazy, and unimaginative, to bother coming up with any. It also might have involved some more extensive, and in-depth, writing, which they weren’t really prepared to do.
I also used to wonder why all the planets in “Firefly” always looked like the same patch of the Mojave Desert, complete with Joshua trees. I think it was for the same reasons, stated above.
Tolbert, it is too bad they didn’t do a Gallagher series! He was always one of my favorites! (And that incredibly conceited robot!)
Instead, they give us vampires; and the Sy Fy network.
(Oh yes—”Cowboys v. Aliens” is dreadful, neither good science fiction, nor a good Western.)
I also used to wonder why everybody in the Firefly universe speaks Chinese, even though there are, apparently, no Chinese around, and very little Chinese culture; also, why the terrible Federation thinks that delicate little teenage girls, with arms like toothpicks, are the ideal choice for uber-powerful assassins?
(Actually, I think the answer to the latter is that Whedon just hadn’t gotten over “Buffy.”)
(Mr. Spock, in the original “Star Trek”, and any number of Klignons, Bajorans, Ferenghi and other, assorted aliens, were immensely popular, and none of them were muppets. If there were no aliens in “Firefly”, I suspect it’s because the makers just couldn’t be bothered.)
Howzabout “Thelma and Louise and Aliens?” Or, “Sex and the City and Aliens”? (My apologies, if someone has already mentioned these.)
Chris in California, yes, “High Crusade”, done well, would be great, as would Pierre Barbet’s “Cosmic Crusaders”. (They even have kind’ve a “Holy Handrenade of Antioch” in that one.”
There are tons of good sci-fi stories out there, such as the Gallagher series, just waiting to be done well; and what do we get? “Cowboys and Aliens.” The Sy-Fy channel. Feh.
Just got back – my two boys (teens both) and I loved it. Why? ‘Cause it was fun. And it was fun to have fun with my boys. What else am I supposed to get out of a movie?
Ok, I’m being a little facetious. But there are movies and there are movies. Cowboys & Aliens is an example of what I call the rollercoaster genre. It’s a mistake to over-analyze it, IMHO.
Or the original Comanche tongue.