Trouble in Saudi Arabia: Al-Qaeda’s ‘Bum’ Assassination Attempt
A little over two years ago, on March 6, 2007, a 35-year-old Iraqi national named Fadhel al-Maliki attempted to board a US Airways flight out of Los Angeles International Airport. A TSA agent noticed al-Maliki was acting odd. “He was nervous and sweating,” the FBI’s Los Angeles spokesman told me when I inquired about the incident the following day.
Hidden in al-Maliki’s rectum was a device containing electrical wires, chewing gum, and a rock. Larry Fetters, security director for the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) at the airport, told reporters that al-Maliki “was secreting these items in a body cavity and that was a great concern because there were also some electric wires associated with that body cavity.” In other words, TSA feared al-Maliki had a bomb.
The FBI also told me that it was al-Maliki’s behavior that triggered the discovery. The Iraqi national was asked to step aside after an agent noticed his strange behavior and became suspicion of him. After some “heavy questioning about his odd behavior” and after being repeatedly asked by federal agents “why he was sweating,” the former Iraqi security guard confessed to having the untoward items hidden where the sun does not shine. “They are for therapeutic reasons … to relieve stress,” al-Maliki told the TSA. He claimed the rock was from another planet. The bomb squad was called in.
Ultimately, no explosives were found accompanying the strange rectal contraption, but people around the country had a scatological field day with the story. Newspapers ran headlines like “Bum Threat Triggers Alert.” Bloggers made jokes. Guffaws from law enforcement officials added to the humor of the situation; the FBI agent I spoke with laughed several times during our conversation. TSA turned al-Maliki over to Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) for deportation. His green card documents had expired and he had prior arrests.
Suspicious behavior at an airport security checkpoint resulted in Fadhel al-Malki being discovered as a persona non grata, even if he was not a terrorist threat. That allowed ICE officials to deport him. Security officials at two airports in Saudi Arabia had no such luck in determining that Abdullah Hassan Taleh al-Asiri, a non-repentant al-Qaeda operative, was actually transporting explosives inside himself. What this means is that al-Asiri could have blown himself up on any Saudi airliner he chose to board. He also could have blown himself up on a Saudi royal family member’s jet. But al-Asiri had a far more specific target in mind: Prince Nayef. That al-Qaeda almost succeeded in killing a royal means trouble is brewing inside the kingdom. As the once powerful father and son lose control, one wonders how long the pretense of forgiving and forgetting the terrorists will hold up.
Tough luck for the number 1 promoter of anti-Western hatred and financiers of terrorism on this planet. This botched assassination attempt, condemned by the Saudis only because it targeted one of their own too-lazy-to-ever-consider-doing-any-real-work “royals” (expect them to never condemn such acts when infidels, a.k.a. human beings, are their target) is nothing but mahoundianism working its “magic” of inevitable inter-family, inter-clan, inbred bedouin savage, dog-eat-dog slaughter, which is inherent to every single place in this world where mahound-worshippers make up nearly 100% of the population (Somalia is just like Saudi Arabia too, but without oil.) Daniel Pipes has written about this tribal affliction among cousin-kissing bedouin savages in a review of Philip Carl Salzman’s Culture and Conflict in the Middle East:
http://www.danielpipes.org/5412/the-middle-easts-tribal-affliction
So long as Western political leaders keep those mahoundian lower forms of life out of the civilized parts of this planet (and too bad so few of them have the backbone to do so or defend our need to act on it), we ought to let mahoundianism keep working its “magic” among those that choose to worship mahound’s imaginary alter-ego allah. That can only work to our advantage.
I bet Junior was covered in feces from head to toe…the assassin’s and his own.
Saudi Arabia was really the number one reason to develop the Neutron bomb that killed the organisms but spared the infrastructure.
–This attack is after a roundup by the prince of 44 AQ-related professionals in the kingdom, only two weeks later.
–The prince has been trying to find indirect methods of avoiding AQ attacks by accepting surrenders, and this was a surrender where others were promised to come along. That’s what supposedly was happening when the guy blew up. This turned out to be really effective in hardening his attitude and Saudi attitudes in general towards AQ.
–The family of the AQ member is quoted in the local papers as thanking the prince for extending traditional courtesy to their insane son, an interesting phrasing which is not good for local support of AQ.
The prince was clearly lucky that the guy was sitting down when he went off…
Maybe the Saudis will take Guantanamo?
That had to hurt, but not for long.
I wonder what he’s going to do with his 72 virgins or raisins? Not much, in his condition.
Chickens coming home to roost?
What does the all bowing one say?
I think it might have been this guy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8dsqLDtfWQ&feature=PlayList&p=D2DA29DED95AA8D4&index=0&playnext=1
Explosives where sun dont shine? Man thats got to hurt
Ever hear of Preperation H?
I got the guy, but he’s not as fun as most of my toys.
Think Tom Arnold in Austin Powers:
“What did you eat?!?”
¡Yo quiero Taco Bell!
Ah yes, the C-4 keester stash could be an airline industry game changer. Since water boarding is torture and now forbidden, I’m sure the current FBI is just having wonderful success squeezing information out of the current jihad bomb plotter in custody for lying to the police. I bet the FBI is getting all sorts of crucial information on the plot and its cell members, especially after the suspect invoked his Miranda rights. I’m sure the suspect will start talking when a judge offers him limited use immunity and the possibility of time in custody credits should he be found guilty of conspiring to do mass suicide bombings. In fact, I’m so sure the FBI will be successful that those of still flying will be lining up for cavity searches to get a boarding pass, because you never know what you don’t know, and we’ll have to do it for the children.
If AQ killed anothe 3k infidels the Arabs would go back to loving them.
I guess this will entail better surveillance in the future. One group of a–holes examining another group of a–holes. Would make for an entertaining video for Youtube.
Does this incident augur a future in which wheelchair-bound American grandmothers of Irish/Italian descent will receive the latex glove treatment from female TSA staff behind a screen in the line to board a Southwest Airlines flight, while the defendants in the NYC bombing plot case will get beachfront incarceration in fabulous Bermuda without having their body cavities violated?
Did the bomb contain assorted items from the hardware bins at Home Depot, liberally seasoned with rat poison?
In the inevitable videotaped suicide note, did the bomber go on an interminable digression about government-lab-created “fish flu” and a plug for Dear Leader’s health care proposals?
So many unanswered questions.
He will be the butt of jokes for all time.
Rectum? It damn near killed ‘em!
It was only a matter of time before the practitioners of the “man love Thursay” praxis got around to a C-4 suppository.
Thursday
I really don’t get all the hand-wringing here. IT DIDN’T WORK! I mean, if he HAD set himself off in a plane, it would have been an incredible mess. The clown blew himself up, but the human body has the ability to absorb an enormous amount of kinetic (read explosive) energy before being changed into chopped hamburger. I think this is a loser proposition. If you are wearing the bomb on the outside, the power goes out. If you have it on the inside, you act as a buffer for all the people around you. Other than covering everyone around you in offal and feces, I suspect that you can’t jam enough explosives up your asshole to get an effective explosive. On the other hand, maybe, in light of this experience, there is now a dedicated hard-core group of Al Quaeda activists who are now inserting larger and larger devices into their rectums in order to allow for more powerful explosive devices…ok, I’ll stop now. The imagery is becoming disturbing…
David
Maybe Allah put it there when he bent over to pray.
Seems to me all you have to do is squat your butt loaded with a pound of plastic high explosive on the passenger deck directly over the central fuel tank on a 747, dial 911 to initiate the detonator, and boom; you’re on your way to virgin heaven. With the plane debris two miles down on the seabed in the central Atlantic, who would ever know?
I believe this terrorist was using the Lex Steele version of a TATP Bomb
http://www.holisticwisdom.com/lex-steele-dildo.htm
Gives new meaning to the term “Trojan bomber”!
Damn Dirty Terrorists! >:)