Through the Teleprompter Glass
Dateline: The White House, Washington, D.C., Wednesday, November 3, 2010.
Today is the day after the day that I have to admit was not one of my best days.
Dead people … you let me down! Especially in Illinois! I counted on your votes to carry our Democratic candidates to victory, but instead you stayed dead. This is why Chicago needs Rahm as mayor; he knows how to get dead people to the polls.
And you ACORNS? So helpful in 2008 … what happened? Did you all grow into big trees, anchored to the ground and unable to get to the polls?
I am especially disappointed with all of you in the New Black Panther Party.
You so effectively intimidated voters in Philly for me during the last election with your billy clubs and paramilitary uniforms. What the heck happened yesterday? Were you hiding from Fox News?
But today is not for finger pointing.
My daughter Sasha said to me this morning at breakfast, “Dad, you really took a whuppin’ last night.” And I said, “No, not a whuppin’; I was just having a teachable moment.”
She asked me what I learned and I told her I learned I can no longer blame President George W. Bush for all our nation’s problems. So from this day on I will delete the words “I inherited” from my teleprompter. I know you are all sick of hearing “I inherited the worst economy since the Great Depression,” “I inherited two wars,” and “I inherited a financial crisis” — and frankly I am as well.
Now, instead of “I inherited” I will say, “It’s not my fault.” As in, it’s not my fault the Republicans now control Congress.
It’s not my fault Americans don’t understand what I have done for them.
It’s not my fault unemployment rates have remained high.
It’s not my fault there are no such things as shovel-ready projects.
It’s not my fault that billions of stimulus dollars were wasted.
It’s not my fault your health insurance premiums are dramatically increasing.
It not my fault White House staffers are fleeing.
It’s not my fault the rise of the oceans never slowed and our planet never healed.
Now that the midterm elections are finally over, I will be busy working on two great initiatives for the benefit of the American people.
The first initiative calls for stimulating the economy with the increased production of Krazy Glue. This stems from our need to ensure that whenever I travel across our nation there will always be an ample supply so never again will my presidential seal fall off my podium.
The second great initiative is my 2012 re-election. Yesterday’s teachable moment taught me that I am through with teachable moments. So starting today I have issued an executive order for a full-scale mobilization of every dead person who did not vote yesterday. I will be appointing a resurrection czar to ensure that every Democrat family will be reunited with their loved ones just in time to get them to the polls on November 6, 2012.
Finally, as president I am often asked, “What keeps you up at night?” Well, let me tell you what kept me up last night.
Remember back in November 2004 when I was first elected senator from Illinois? That means yesterday if I were still a senator, I would have been up for re-election. So last night I wondered: would I have lost my seat? Unfortunately my former Senate seat was lost yesterday to a Republican, but thankfully it wasn’t me on the ballot.
Then I fell into a deep sleep knowing the loss of my old Senate seat wasn’t my fault.
LOL Funny and probably closer to the truth than is right. He’ll be blaming everything but himself for the losses tomorrow.
Obama and the entire democrat infrastructure need, to paraphrase Bull Halsey, fought until democrat is only spoken in hell. Enough of pretending they’re anything other than an organization dedicated to the overthrow of the Constitution and the end of our Republic.
The democrat party is now and always has been the party of slavery, sedition, secession, civil war, KKK terrorism, Jim Crow laws, eugenics laws, anti-Semitic immigration restrictions in response to Nazi Nuremberg laws, creators of anti-Christian mythology, the welfare plantation system, voter fraud, voter intimidation, and the eugenics driven mass murder of minority infants. The democrat party has to be so thoroughly destroyed as a national political party that it is no longer a factor in national politics. Refusing to support less than pure Republican alternatives over a pet peeve, sitting out elections, or anything else that keeps you from helping or influences others to not help us rid ourselves of these parasites while we are forced to continue drinking democrat arsenic, is either fifth column democrat propaganda or agreement that we should commit national suicide.
Regards
Gosh, rashputin, don’t be so shy. Tell us how you really feel!
Seriously, your righteous wrath is inspiring…
Why, thanks. Wrath, though, I left out the part about fighting these fasist SOBs until democrat is only spoken in hell. That didn’t soften it up too much?
rashputin,
So from then on the GOP will be the Centrist Party (sliding left) and the TEA Party will emerge as THE Conservative voice of the Majority of Americans. Sounds good to me! The GOP has left me behind in their slide to “moderate” or RINO as I call them. McCain could be RINO in Chief.
A resurrection czar ?
Starting Wednesday we need to work on getting Michelle Bachman as Speaker. Electing Boehner will be nothing more than “inside the beltway business as usual”. Reaching across the aisle, being bi-partisan (read that as putting on a good show and doing what the dems want in the interest of cooperation).
This will be a great start, but now the work really starts.
I think you are underestimating the Soros Democrat Party’s ability and willingness to steal elections by committing voter fraud and engaging in post-election lawfare.
I think he will pledge to revive the economy by 2012, and fight the Republicans who want to return to the policies of the past.
Basically, it’s the same strategy he used in 2010. They looked at the prior 13 recessions and observed that with the exception of the Great Depression, jobs were in robust recovery after 13 months. That’s it. That was the strategy. Jobs had always recovered. They thought they were already 13 months into it. The chart probably took less than an hour to produce. Ergo, PAHTY TIME!!!. Payoffs on the taxpayers dime. How sweet it was.
And it could work for 2012. With gridlock, it is entirely possible that the 2012 economy will look a lot better than 2010′s economy. There is probably a 60% chance or better, so he will probably declare it on November 3. Taxes probably won’t matter, Obamacare probably won’t matter, foreign affairs probably won’t matter. The economy will be better in 2 years. He will make a strong case in 2012 that it would have been much better were it not for the Republicans.
Seriously, that will probably be the “for public consumption” strategy. Meanwhile, statism will grow apace.
Republicans better improve their communication skills this time around.
Here’s the new communication:
The unemployment rate has “settled in” at 9.6 to 9.7%. It has been stuck there for months. “This is the new norm.” Any improvement from there is the result of the new Congress.
“9.6% unemployment is the Obama norm.”
Lather, rinse, and repeat as often as necessary.
And now any time the Soetero daughters call for Bo the dog, Barry says “Huh”?
Dead people … you let me down!
We’re doing our part here in California. I fully expect State Senator Jenny Oropeza (Deceased) to be reelected.
Ha, ha. “Blame Bush!” (TM)*
*Trademark of Hussein Holdings Ltd., a wholly-owned subsidiary of Soros Int’l.
Excellent. I would add one final paragraph:
“But even with the losses of yesterday, you must keep up the despair, America, and not hope that I won’t continue to break my campaign promises, especially that one not to raise taxes on anyone earning less than $250K. Besides, you guys didn’t really believe that one anyway, right? Rest uneasy that I will do everything I can possibly do to ensure unemployment remains above 10% so I can keep those unemployment checks coming to you, b/c like Speaker Pelosi said, “There is no better job creator than an unemployment check” or something like that, plus it allows me to control you better and buy more votes. I will also do everything I can to continue the socialization of every possible U.S. industry, including car manufacturing, insurance, banking with Congressman Frank’s and Senator Dodd’s help, health care, communications, transportation, public utilities, and everything else you can imagine! I’m doing all this so we can be more like our great friends in Europe, who have darn near perfected the 32-hour work week, so you can play golf 3 times each week. Be worried, America, because there’s more gloom and doom ahead as long as I remain in the White House!”
Find me a politician who does not tell the people just what they want to hear and I will show you a guy, packing his bags and heading to the university.
You are too funny, Ms. Adams! Keep coming with the insightful analyses….and occasional witty piece like this one. Hard to find anything to laugh about with this gang that couldn’t shoot straight, though. Does anybody care that the new national security adviser is a political hack/PR specialist with meager credentials for his new job who helped “protect” Fannie and Freddie from desperately-needed reforms during the Bush Administration? And look what happened…our national economic security was severely compromised and now he is being turned loose on foreign policy! Unbelievable!
I wonder if I, an American born citizen that has worked every day of my adult life, paid my taxes and happens to disagree with Obama’s pernicious agenda, will still be THE ENEMY!!!! Gee, I never thought an American Citizen would be called that. Guess I should be an illegal alien!
This man truly needs help – he is delusional, in denial and totally lacking in character, gravitas, leadership and credibility.
Can’t wait until November 2012….will he last that long?????
Welcome to the club, Allie. It was startling to me, as a teapartier, to discover that I – an upright, solid, tax-paying citizen – was now the enemy, and that was months ago.
It hurt my feelings at first. Then I thought, so be it. Besides, who are they to declare me the enemy? It’s my country, too, and I’ve been a more honest citizen that most of the people slurring my character have been, and certainly more honest than Obama ever was.
Allie,
The libs have turned the world on its head. “When good becomes evil and evil becomes good” perfectly describes their worldview.
Kill babies – Good!
Have babies – bad
Sodomite marriage – Good!
Traditional marriage – bad
Public schools – Good!
Home schooling – bad, very, very bad
Weak USA – Good!
Strong USA – bad
Burn the flag – Good!
Fly the flag – bad
No God – REALLY GOOD!!! (Like Bill Maher, smoke weed and go to Playboy mansion, as often as possible)
Believe – REALLY BAD AND STUPID
0bama will never admit any of this is his fault. He’ll just fly his Lear jet up to Nova Scotia, to see the total eclipse of the sun.
he won’t admit this vote is about him
He’s where he should be all the time, and when he’s not he’s with
some underworld spy or the wife of a close friend?
Are you talking Obama or Clinton here?
You walked into a Tea Party…
Lol!
Lear? feh, that’s the ride of the little people. Big peckerwoods fly AF-1, but hopefully for not much longer.
I yearn for the direct way in which George W. Bush took responsibility when Democrats beat the Republicans in the 2006 mid-term elections. As quoted in Breitbart, he simply said, “I’m obviously disappointed with the outcome of the election,” Bush told reporters at a White House news conference. “As the head of the Republican Party, I share a large part of the responsibility,” Bush said. “You look at it race by race, it was close. The cumulative effect, however, was not too close. It was a thumping.”
“It was a thumping.”
On November third, can anyone imagine our denier-and-blamer-in-chief being so forthright?
God save our Republic.
Excellent insight. Wonderful baseline of comparison. Way to set the bar!
It’s Bush’s fault!
It IS Bush’s fault. Haven’t you seen that “Miss me yet?” billboard? It is also seen on T-Shirts! Curse him!
Personal responsibility. Where is it, who stole it, and how do we get it back? WHERE IS IT, WHO STOLE IT, AND HOW DO WE GET IT BACK?
IMHO, the elections of 11/2/10 are nothing more than a speed-bump to the liberal dream of full-blown socialism in America. The only way to collapse the power of the Democratic Socialist Party of America is to collapse the influence of the progressive media, Hollywood, academia, activist judges, the NEA, and all the other left-wing traitors disguised as Americans.
How do we regain control when the enemy controls the message?
This ain’t my first political rodeo, hence my apprehension.
I really, really, really miss Ronald Reagan.