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The Insidious Influence of Right-Wing Moralizers

Don't these conservative Christians realize that Roman Polanski made just one little mistake? Haven't they seen Chinatown?

by
Frank J. Fleming

Bio

October 18, 2009 - 12:16 am
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You see, that’s a big deal to them because they think “God” wrote on a stone tablet that “murder is wrong.” You can try and reason with them and explain that Ted Kennedy is a very important and rich person — a Kennedy! — and one couldn’t expect him to expend much effort to rescue some random floozy from a car he put in the water. But the right-wing moralizers are too stubborn to listen. People should just be thankful such a busy and important man took the time to tell someone about it the next day. Yes, he probably could have saved the woman’s life by telling someone about it right after the accident, but he was sleepy then. If he spent all of his time making up for his mistakes, how would he have any time left for progressive causes?

Yes, murder is a terrible thing, but not having strong progressives in government is even more terrible. But that’s a nuance too complex for some idiot Christian to understand.

Even worse, these silly moralizers are now targeting progressive organizations with their Stone Age values. Recently, a pair of them went after ACORN, pretending to be a pimp and a prostitute while secretly filming the proceedings. (Doesn’t your invisible sky fairy have something against lying, you hypocrites?)

Now, I’ve seen the video, and I don’t really get what the big deal is, but once again these right-wing Christians think there’s something wrong with government money furthering the good cause of prostitution. I guess Jesus didn’t like that or something — like his opinion is of any relevance now. People who don’t believe in old superstitions understand that a woman owns her body and can make money with it however she wants — and that the government should probably help her with financing.

Smart people also understand that prostituting yourself might not pay all the bills, so you’ll have to also sell children as sex slaves. It’s not like they’re important children — they’re not Kennedys — so what could possibly be the big deal? I thought right-wingers were into capitalism.

Now, I did expect outrage over this incident — outrage that these sneaky right-wing Christians are going after progressive organizations. But instead this simplistic nation seemed to get stuck on the fact that a government-funded organization was going to help fund child sex slaves. Really? That’s still a big deal? I thought we’re past such simplistic nonsense. What’s next? Burning people at the stake for being witches?

We need to be a nation of strong progressivism, but we can’t be that while backward, superstitious thinking about morality still permeates such a large element of the population. How are we going to focus on the truly important things when we currently have right-wing Christians and their senseless morality making a big deal out of every rape, murder, or child sex slave ring?

It’s the 21st century, and it’s time to let go of the old, outdated ways of thinking. If you still need some crude edict to figure out what to hoot and holler about, here you go: it’s only wrong if it inconveniences a liberal.

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Frank J. Fleming is the author of Punch Your Inner Hippie, coming November 11th, and the science fiction novel Superego, coming later this year, writes columns for PJ Media and the New York Post, and blogs at IMAO.us, and also wants little Barry to wear a hat so he doesn't catch a cold.
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