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The ‘I’m Not Bush’ Prize and its Uselessness

Perhaps they should just rename the Peace Prize the "Down with America" prize.

by
Frank J. Fleming

Bio

October 11, 2009 - 12:00 am

Man, the international community is a bunch of idiots.

People wonder why we in America don’t listen to the international community. Well, for one thing, they speak in crazy foreign languages and we can’t understand them. But when we do understand them, they are just unbelievably moronic. Like we-should-make-sure-they-all-wear-helmets stupid. Thus we have the spectacle of the Nobel Peace Prize, which our president just won — much to the surprise of people with working brains.

Now, the Nobel Prize is a well-respected prize when it comes to actual things like chemistry and physics. It’s a bit more subjective with things like literature (I had to read a Nobel Prize-winning novel in college, and it was so bad that I have post-traumatic stress from the experience), but at least you can say for certain that the winners of the literature prize did write something. Then you have the Nobel Peace Prize, and this year’s winner pretty much proves that no one has any idea what peace is, so they have no idea who should receive the award.

The prize has been in decline for some time (receiving the Nobel Peace Prize is now yet another way Obama is linked to terrorists), but I think we in the rational world (America) are now in agreement that it’s basically meaningless. Peace is fairly subjective — subjective to the point of being imaginary. Some would say peace is achieved by beating back a merciless enemy while others say it’s achieved by non-violently submitting to the enemy. And since we’re never exactly sure how far we are from another war, it’s a somewhat fleeting thing too. It might as well be made up, and I think the Nobel Prize committee treats it that way. It’s like they have a Nobel Prize for Unicorns to hand out, and since there really isn’t anyone who makes much sense for it, they just hand it out to whoever fits their political agenda. And, being part of the international community — which is stupid — the committee’s choices have started to be just mind-numbingly ludicrous until they reached the low point on Friday morning.

Obama was nominated for the Peace Prize twelve days into his presidency — before he even began to aspire to become as useless as he’s been so far — and somehow this Nobel committee came to the conclusion that he did something worthy of an award. Their justification for giving him the prize, in its entirety?

“Hee not Booosh! Scroo u Booosh!”

Incidentally, that was the same justification they gave when they awarded the Nobel Peace Prize to Al Gore and Jimmy Carter. It’s basically been the Nobel “mee no like Booosh!” Prize for a few years now, and by that standard, I guess it makes sense to give it to Obama. While his policies haven’t been that different from Bush’s thus far, Barack Obama is physically not George W. Bush. So at least that logic is unassailable.

So anyway, with genocide, oppressive dictators, and terrorism all over the world, the international community still thinks the most important thing in the world is putting a thumb in the eye of a former U.S. president. And this is yet another reminder of why the international community is a bunch of idiots that we’re too smart to listen to. They’re like a guy who puts his shirt on backwards and his pants on his head and then chides us for being thuggish and simpleminded. To get an idea of how utterly dumb and useless they are, think of America’s liberals. They’re usually the gold standard for pointless imbeciles, but even they think that giving Obama the Nobel Peace Prize is stupid. Basically, you take the most dimwitted hippies from the local college campus and make them even dumber and more useless, and then you have the international community.

And that’s who Obama’s been sucking up to. Good job, sport!

The even more pathetic thing is that they probably thought they were helping Obama, when all they did was get people to once again ask, “So what has Obama accomplished?” This is the dreaded question that’s been plaguing him since he first started campaigning. And what exactly was Obama supposed to do? It does come with a cash prize, so even I would accept it in the end, but it’s still a total PR disaster. Obama’s popularity with the world has netted no useful help in foreign policy, but he’s now personally gotten accolades and money from those who want to see an end to American exceptionalism. An awesome response would be for Obama to bomb Iran’s nuclear facility the day after receiving the prize, but that’s something a man would do. That’s something Reagan would do. Obama’s too much of a sissy for awesomeness like that, and that’s why the international community loves him.

So, in my opinion, should Obama have been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize? Of course he should have; it’s a useless-moron prize. Obama is the most prominent useless idiot out there right now; I can’t name a better candidate. I don’t think he’ll be as great for peace as the international community hopes — i.e., completely dismantling America and stopping all attacks on the enemies of freedom in the world — but he’ll do about as well as you could hope for in an American president. It would be nice, though, if they would change the name of the Nobel Peace Prize so it doesn’t bring down the status of the other prizes. They could call it something like “Useless Left-Wing Idiot of the Year” or the “Down with America Prize” or “King Dumbass.” Then at least why they once gave one to Yasser Arafat would be less confusing.

Frank J. Fleming is the author of Punch Your Inner Hippie, coming November 11th, and the science fiction novel Superego, coming later this year, writes columns for PJ Media and the New York Post, and blogs at IMAO.us, and if he were president, he'd never be seen on the golf course during international crises, because he'd be in the White House basement playing video games.
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