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The ‘I’m Not Bush’ Prize and its Uselessness

Perhaps they should just rename the Peace Prize the "Down with America" prize.

by
Frank J. Fleming

Bio

October 11, 2009 - 12:00 am
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Man, the international community is a bunch of idiots.

People wonder why we in America don’t listen to the international community. Well, for one thing, they speak in crazy foreign languages and we can’t understand them. But when we do understand them, they are just unbelievably moronic. Like we-should-make-sure-they-all-wear-helmets stupid. Thus we have the spectacle of the Nobel Peace Prize, which our president just won — much to the surprise of people with working brains.

Now, the Nobel Prize is a well-respected prize when it comes to actual things like chemistry and physics. It’s a bit more subjective with things like literature (I had to read a Nobel Prize-winning novel in college, and it was so bad that I have post-traumatic stress from the experience), but at least you can say for certain that the winners of the literature prize did write something. Then you have the Nobel Peace Prize, and this year’s winner pretty much proves that no one has any idea what peace is, so they have no idea who should receive the award.

The prize has been in decline for some time (receiving the Nobel Peace Prize is now yet another way Obama is linked to terrorists), but I think we in the rational world (America) are now in agreement that it’s basically meaningless. Peace is fairly subjective — subjective to the point of being imaginary. Some would say peace is achieved by beating back a merciless enemy while others say it’s achieved by non-violently submitting to the enemy. And since we’re never exactly sure how far we are from another war, it’s a somewhat fleeting thing too. It might as well be made up, and I think the Nobel Prize committee treats it that way. It’s like they have a Nobel Prize for Unicorns to hand out, and since there really isn’t anyone who makes much sense for it, they just hand it out to whoever fits their political agenda. And, being part of the international community — which is stupid — the committee’s choices have started to be just mind-numbingly ludicrous until they reached the low point on Friday morning.

Obama was nominated for the Peace Prize twelve days into his presidency — before he even began to aspire to become as useless as he’s been so far — and somehow this Nobel committee came to the conclusion that he did something worthy of an award. Their justification for giving him the prize, in its entirety?

“Hee not Booosh! Scroo u Booosh!”

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