The Equal Earth Amendment
Another Earth Day has come and gone, with my family and me observing it in the same fashion as always. We committed to spending the entire day on this planet, enjoying its bountiful supplies of air, food, and free political theater. And speaking of the bizarre entertainment options offered in the media, perhaps none were quite as interesting as a proposal headed for the United Nations to give “Mother Earth” all the same rights and entitlements as any human being:
Bolivia will this month table a draft United Nations treaty giving “Mother Earth” the same rights as humans — having just passed a domestic law that does the same for bugs, trees and all other natural things in the South American country.
The bid aims to have the UN recognize the Earth as a living entity that humans have sought to “dominate and exploit” — to the point that the “well-being and existence of many beings” is now threatened.
The “bid” in question purports to provide the third rock from the sun with a variety of specific rights, including “life, water and clean air; the right to repair livelihoods affected by human activities; and the right to be free from pollution.” Unfortunately, Gaea rarely seems inclined to actually speak to anyone aside from a few indigenous shamans who’ve eaten a fist full of psilocybin mushrooms. Therefore, the planet would be represented by an ombudsman, “whose job is to hear nature’s complaints as voiced by activist and other groups.”
A tremendous proposal, as I’m sure we can all agree, but it hardly goes far enough. After all, representation in the United Nations or any other collaborative body doesn’t mean very much without a vote. Clearly, if this proposal is to have any teeth, we need to ensure that a new seat specifically for Mother Earth is added to the hallowed hall of the UN. Perhaps the chair could be occupied by a large chunk of highly resonant quartz accompanied by an aide from the aforementioned shaman sect who interprets the planet’s wishes on each matter.
It should also be a no-brainer to point out that the Earth is far bigger than any single nation and, as such, should immediately be given a permanent seat on the Security Council. If we’re worried about the seating limit they can just drop the United Kingdom since they seem pretty busy with a wedding or something anyway.
I reckon your summation brings up a valid point… plants are not the planet, nor are animals — nor, for that matter, are the oceans or the atmosphere. I reckon that the wear from moving air and water have done far more damage to the Earth than all of mankind combined… so clearly, the UN needs to pursue sanctions against the wind and the rain.
In the United States at least, former climate change believers are now demanding that politicians and law makers have the leading scientists and especially the unconscionable leading news editors, subjected to criminal charges for knowingly sustaining the criminal exaggerations of the CO2 mistake for the last 25 years. It is now appearing that issuing CO2 death threats to billions of children unnecessarily has not gone unnoticed and unlike Bush getting away with his false war in Iraq, the false war of climate change will sooner or later be dealt with in the courts. Treason charges for leading a country to a false war is one option now being looked at as politicians always need an enemy to blame.
And keep in mind that it was the scientists themselves that made environmental protection necessary in the first place when they supposedly polluted the planet with their evil chemicals and cancer causing pesticides and so how ironic is it that we bowed like fools to our Gods of science for 25 years of “unstoppable warming”?
Scientists are not gods and don’t forget that scientists also produced cruise missiles, cancer causing chemicals, land mine technology, nuclear weapons, germ warfare, cluster bombs, strip mining technology, Y2K, Y2Kyoto, deep sea drilling technology and now climate control. Proof of consensus not being real is the fact that scientists did not march in the streets when IPCC funding was pulled, the EPA was castrated and Obama’s not even mentioning the “crisis” in his state of the union speech. Consensus was a myth because if it were true, the consensus scientists declaring a climate emergency would act like it was an emergency and demand their CO2 mitigation be taken seriously. We believed a handful of lab coat consultants who said we could CONTROL the planet’s temperature and prevent it from boiling. Pure insanity as history will call this modern day witch burning. The new denier is anyone still believing voters will vote YES to taxing the air to make the weather colder. Not going to happen.
REAL planet lovers are happy and relieved a crisis was averted and real planet lovers don’t hold scientists as Gods and bow to politicians promising to make colder and lower the seas and scare kids with such doomsday glee.
Stay tuned. Call the courthouse.
when obama won the election I thought my God a majority of the people are stupid? no can’t be. but after reading THIS. I now know they ARE,
Liberals and communists like Van Jones now want to create a United Nations treaty giving “Mother Earth” the same rights as humans. Pity those same people are fighting so hard to allow women to abort and kill unborn fetuses whenever they want to, denying the fetus any rights at all. I guess I’d like to see actual people get the same rights as “Mother Earth.” What hypocrites they are.
Each of us celebrates Earth Day in our own way, some through quiet reflection, others, like me, who mark the occasion by spraying for chinch bugs.
Cows fart methane.
They need a union to protect their rights, lest the UN pass “bovine colostomy” regulations without consideration of cows’ interests.
I nominate Obama to represent Earth on the Security Council, unless the Earth wants someone else.
In addition I propose changing “Uncle Sam” to “Nanny Sally” since the Federal Government is no longer our uncle and is now our nanny.
It is so obvious what is going on here. The left wing globalist elites are trying to create a new religion. Slowly but surely just like National Socialist Germany and Communist Russia they want create new beliefs for the next generation. Gaeaism is coming.
The left wing globalist elites are trying to create a new religion.
I think they are gearing up to perpetrate the largest holocaust in Earth’s history. Complete Lives System of health care. Give rodents and animals rights. The earth is a living being that needs rights. Leftism is evil in all forms.
If earth is granted people status then I want that 6itch hauled in by child protective services and charged with felony child abuse for all the cr@p she’s thrown at her children over the millenia!
“whose job is to hear nature’s complaints as voiced by activist and other groups.”
Pure paganism. We’ll have a temple for the voice of Mother Earth. Their will be priests and priestesses to interpret. Al Gore will be Chief Priest. The Pachamama Alliance people will have the most privileges because they are the first devotees. They will be allowed to pick and process cotton for their clothing. The rest of us must necessarily go naked. They will be allowed to kill the bugs in their homes (organically, of course, because keeping the ecosystem in perfect balance is hard work, and they must be comfortable and well-rested to do this work.
It will quickly be pronounced that grains, vegetables, and animals prefer not to be eaten by citizens of the United States, so we will quickly starve to death and much of the United States will return to wilderness and will not longer consume more than its share. The Chief Priest will be exempted, of course, because he is a true citizen of the world and his movie, An Inconvenient Truth, buys him a lifetime supply of indulgences.
Seriously, part of me wants to just sit and watch the Pachamama people try to live this way. A quick Facebook search of “Pachamama” brought up a person named Pachamama Alex. His photo shows a pair of plastic sunglasses on his head. Woops! Those are going to have to go, Alex. Plastic isn’t going to be tolerated. Don’t you know that plastic is made from oil, and oil drilling is raping the earth? How dare you! Oh, right, you are also and early devotee. Okay, you are exempted.
Pachamama? Kinda makes you wonder where Richard Dawkins is when you need him.
How about if we just burn Environmental Whackos for fuel. It will save oil.
Clearly this calls for a flotilla in support.
I will be organizing one this weekend at the local lake. Thus far I have chartered a canoe and plan to introduce a dozen or so earth friendly night crawlers to several happy splashy indigenous Bluegill in a sort of earth-air-water summit. While there I will be liberating some captive fermented plant extracts from their cold metallic prisons.
Spindok
The earth welcomes all humans as the next tier of fertilizer. Useless ideas are the bait to increase the richness of the loam and the loons.
I imagine lawyers are chomping at the bit to represent Mother Earth but what if she wants to represent herself?
If the Earth gets a seat in the UN, Japan should introduce a resolution calling for sanctions over the earthquake/tsunami.
Yes, I was communing with Gaia last night and she tole me that she wants ME to represent her at the UN.
When do I leave?
Awesome idea!
If sanctions don’t work (say, any seismic event greater than 6.8 magnitude), Japan shall release 1.6 trillion tonnes of gaseous carbon dioxide as punishment.
That should teach her!
Actually, I might grow to like this equality of rights among all things: For example, to have rights equal to that of a tiger, when a tiger has to do what a tiger has to do. Or, perhaps those lovable chimps of the Gombe reserve made famous by Goodall, later found to indulge their chimpanzee nature by pack hunting and dismemberment of …. other chimps and monkeys. Could make our politics, not to mention life in general, much more interesting…it would certainly lessen the case load for Jack Dunphy and his brethren in urban areas.
Ever notice how hard-core Marxists (like Evo Morales) immediately lept on the enviromental bandwagon after the collapse of the Soviet Union in the early 1990′s? This was not because they suddenly developed a major crush on Mother Earth. They recognized that the “green” movement was potentially a source of vast power and control over human beings.
The Left embraces proposals like this because they seem to promise power. We all know that a coalition of tree frogs, fruit bats, wildebests and hermit crabs are never going to march on the United Nations and demand to vote on economic sanctions for Libya. No, these demographic groups will have to have someone vote their “proxies.” The more that bullfrogs, ferrets, rocks and trees are given “rights” the more voting power their proxies will have. The fact that this proposal can be raised with a straight face in the United Nations just shows how divorced from sanity that amazingly corrupt entity has become.
MONEYMONEYMONEY and more MONEYMONEYMONEY
Consider that homo sapiens are products of this earth. As are ants and worms. Now ants and worms do their equivalent of mining. Might it not be said that earth wants us to mine her? Beavers build dams thus altering the landscape, so why is their damming considered good but humanity’s bad? And you can’t make way for new trees without cutting down the old ones.
By engaging in human activity, we are acting naturally. It’s our nature.
exactly
and when we are all dead eventually we will turn into oil
But surely Mother Earth should thank us — perhaps even pay us — for digging up coal and petroleum, thus restoring to the biosphere the precious carbon that circulated millions of years ago before it was stolen by geological processes. Plant life, and thus animal life, flourishes the more for it.
Yet not so much as a “thank you” from Pachamama. Good manners cost nothing, Mother.
We laugh at the nonsensical idea of mother earth rights, yet we also laughed at the ozone crisis when the advocates wanted to put sunglasses on the penguins, and the entire global cooling/warming/chaos/C02/change hooey. But wait, there is more. While we laughed, the green lobbies grew powerful and recruited useful idiots and changed the nation’s policies to accept the Ecotopian myths. We laugh and while doing so, the lawyers and lobbyists and anti-progress progressives write the narratives and rules of their “dreams.”
if there was any reason to leave the UN this is it (on top of the million others) why are we still apart of this loony organization that rewards people who opress and want to give rocks rights. fine..let them pass the law. and then when one of these hippie morons goes to grab a carrot, scream kidnapping and kick their ass…after all we are defending the plants
I’ll say the same thing I say about animal rights: I’ll be willing to give it rights when it can sign its name.
Isn’t lunacy a wonderful thing to behold! We could put up a skunk in the Security Council and no one there would recognize the irony.
25. davidg2e “Isn’t lunacy a wonderful thing to behold! We could put up a skunk in the Security Council and no one there would recognize the irony.”
I can smell them from way down here in the deep South. Skunks all. the ones that are not skunks in every level of governance reek to high heaven of rotting old flesh. “Something evil this way comes” and all are eating ice cream cones and Dove chocolate bars. Or is it drinking Kool Aide. Waiting for the ACLU to show up because I killed the Fire ANTS.