The Absolute, the Best, the Most Brilliant Solution to Racism Ever!
Racism. It’s the problem everyone is talking about, and it continues to be a problem because people won’t stop talking about it. Who knew different levels of skin pigmentation could cause so much trouble? In retrospect, the human race probably should have stuck with one skin color (like chartreuse), but it’s too late now, and what a mess we have on our hands. So it’s time for someone — probably me — to come up with a solution to it.
We thought we could get past race in America by electing a black president, but it turns out that voting for a black person didn’t magically end racism (the DNC lied!). Instead, race is pretty much all we talk about. Every time someone opposes President Obama’s policies because his polices are the policies of a dumb person, there are groups of people who claim that the only reason Obama is opposed is hatred of black people. Now I hate Obama for completely non-racial reasons — I don’t like how his ears stick out — but just try and convince some people you’re not racist if you don’t like him. It’s like they hate the idea there aren’t racists, because they get to yell at racists and they love yelling.
Like the NAACP. They love yelling “Racist!” and do it about as often as a Chihuahua barks (with about as much meaning behind it). So Andrew Breitbart — noted snookerer — comes along with a video showing a black woman, Shirley Sherrod, supposedly being racist, and the NAACP actually decides, “Hey, let’s call a black person racist for a change. It could be fun.” And then the White House, not wanting to look racist in who they consider racist, fires her, and the NAACP has to be pretty surprised and is like, “Why are people actually listening to us now? Is it because this time we’re accusing a black person of racism? That’s racist!”
But then it ends up that the video is of Sherrod telling people how she learned not to judge people on race, so she got fired for not being racist. It’s crazy. And you would think we’d at least learn from this to be more careful of making charges of racism, but then Sherrod went on CNN and accused Breitbart of wanting to bring back slavery. I really don’t think bringing back slavery is politically feasible, but then again I thought ObamaCare was way too unpopular to pass, and somehow that made it through Congress.
So all this race stuff makes us dumb, and as a result we have a big problem with figuring out how to deal with it logically. For instance, blacks in the U.S. were discriminated against and separated into groups based on their skin pigmentation, so the way we fight that is to separate people into groups based on their skin pigmentation, like the Congressional Black Caucus. It’s like we’re chasing our tail on this issue. One day we might even try reviving the Ku Klux Klan in an attempt to fight racism (and though I don’t want to give advice to the Klan, aren’t sheets a horrible uniform if you’re being racist? If you’re all wearing sheets, how can you be sure of the race of the people in your group?).
So what’s the solution to racism? Well, being a smart person with an IQ in the triple digits, I have an idea. Obviously, what everyone has been trying so far doesn’t work, and what they’ve been trying to do is fight against racism. Maybe racism is too ingrained in us to get rid of it. Maybe evolution programmed us to sort people based on easily seen superficial differences — like skin color — and then hate those who are different. If that’s true, then the only logical way to get rid of racism is to go back in time and kill Charles Darwin before he invents evolution. The problem there is that Stephen Hawking says time travel is impossible, and he would know since he’s part robot.
This is why we need a manned space program. So we can explore strange new worlds; seek out new life and new civilizations and discover that we hate them.
…unless they are the green chicks with big boobs.
Obama the community organizer, turned out to be a nation divider.
The green chicks have only ONE boob.
Frank, you still crack me up. Don’t ever change, and keep your medication level right where it’s at.
How many football teams have purple team colours? Watch your self on the way home from the game. Remember the poor coot that came to work with signs of colored face paint still visible after the five nill thrashing his team got? So Sad.
I can also see some radical left wing group painting them selves purple in solidarity with the oppressed Puedams.
This is a brilliant blog post Frank thanks.
Well, we live in a world wherein there is always someone to take offence on behalf of others—even if others are hypothetical—or if, as in this case, an ambulance-chaser is near.
I represent the Puden people of the Pacific island of Pude. They wear very silly hats and dye their skin purple, as is required by their religion—which also, unfortunately, dictates that sexual intercourse may be conducted only on canoes at sea under a full moon, hence, in addition to their tendency to declare war on anyone who approaches their island in order to bring them essential aid, the severe decline in their population; their native language is remarkably like gibberish (as, if I understand their messages, they admit); and their personal habits are in general, frankly, nauseating; in short, they are so similar to the “Puedams” as described above, that it can be of no coincidence. Accordingly, I have been instructed to demand an apology therefor, an immediate retraction of the ridiculous and defamatory descriptions above (even though they are true), and we further insist on claiming damages of, at least, five billion Puden pounds* forthwith.
* At current exchange rates, 1 billion Pudean pounds is roughly equivalent to US$2.75.
Too late. That approach has been SOP with people who don’t have a handy “race” to hate in their own neighborhood, literally for centuries. And it is practiced worldwide to this day.
The duly-appointed “Puedams” are, of course, the Jews. Who are consistently portrayed exactly this way in the minds of people who desperately need somebody to hate to avoid facing up to their own fundamental inadequacy. Like the Palestinians, the Islamists, the Nation of Islam, Mel Gibson, Jesse Jackson, Jimmy Carter, Pat Buchanan, and of course the domestic and European “enlightened elite’” generally.
(BTW, Mr. Fleming, if that was your point, you forgot your /sarc/ tag.)
clear ether
eon
Doncha know, there are 5 “A”s in RAAAAACISM!
It’s already been done.
Some of the most virulent haters the big-shots, the “best and brightest”, the social, political, and educational “elite” disguise their personal hatred of their “lower / ordinary” siblings and cousins as “self-hatred”. AND require, bizarrely, remorse, retribution, recompense for their evil, paid by, unto the …nth generation, these lesser, “ordinary” OTHERS. The “little people” with these “little peoples’” MONEY, CHATTEL AND LIVES. So much for “self-hatred”.
The hated and excoriated for the past half-century, you guessed it, WHITE AMERICANS, exempting of course the preachers/ the clerisy / the scholars of hatred. Which predators, as do all heads of religious cults, e.g. Kennedys, L.B.Johnson, J.Carter, Clintons, Pelosi, Reid, Jim Jones, Father Divine, Rev. Wright, etc. and their acolytes capitalise and achieve massive personal fortunes by exploiting their American with a capitol A believers/followers. FOR THESE BENIGHTED AMERICANS OWN GOOD, THEIR SALVATION. And bearing arms against opposing religions of long standing and proven beneficence.
The DNC is the Vatican/the Canterbury/ for these preachers, these predators, these “liberals”, who stole the mantle of the once truly Democratic Party to achieve their aims of destruction of what was once the last best hope for mankind. NOTE MANKIND, without racial, ethnic or other epithet.
Your Puedams are here already, known as WHITE AMERICANS, who must pay for the revels of their “fellow” elite–self-selected — countrymen who make no secret of their disdain for the “ordinary, the “little people”. Who they clearly consider no more valuable than serfs, bond-servants to their revels, plots and deliberate destruction of the “lives of others”. Are these “liberals” not already at least demi-gods. Only a matter of time for full God-ness.
You meant to say WHITE AMERICAN MALES.
yes and no. Otherwise I agree.
That’s with three big boobs.
Green chicks with big boobs would constitute an incredible new market for both Maybelline and Victoria’s Secret. I mean, the mere fact that they’re green would be proof positive that they’re not as technologically advanced as we are, so they couldn’t possibly have invented Choose-Your-Own-Skin-Shade foundation makeup yet, to say nothing of inflatable push-up bras.
Clearly, the space program must be fully funded. Our economy is at stake!
Given Obama’s directive that NASA primary role is now to make Muslims feel good about their contributions to math, science, and engineering, I don’t think there is much change of funding a mission to the world of the Pudeams, even if they are green chicks with two or even three large boobs.
Unless, of course, it turns out that the Pudeams practice some version of Islam….
I’ve got a better idea Frank; why don’t we just uninvent the words “race” and “hate” and replace them with the word “love”? Then we would all be able to “just get along” and everything would be puppy dogs and rainbows and cotton candy sing alongs.
It could work if only we were brave enough to give it a try.
James, you forget, if race and hate were “uninvented”, the Democratic Party would cease to exist.
I fail to see the problem here.
Robert…don’t be racist…big boobs will do…except Al Gore, he’s TOO big.
So Mr Andrew Breitbart — noted snookerer — comes along with a video showing … Mz Shirley Sherrod … “being ‘racist’” …. — but then (it is spun to make it seem – except to those that actually looked at and comprehended) the video (that it) is of Mz Sherrod telling people how she learned not to judge people on race, so she got (to spin it into her being) fired for not being racist. (And that is) crazy.
For the Truth is and all of the evidence confirms that the near perfect Peter Principle poster person, Mz Sherrod, described who and what she is – not “was.”
Don’t you know they are already here? They call themselves Democrats. We know better.
I would like to introduce “defensism” which would be a person like me who is sick of being called racist because of the color of my skin so therefore have decided to stand up for my race the Caucasians.
I would also like the public and private schools to take an honest look at slavery throughout history including the present, so that our children will not grow up thinking that slavery was/is exclusive to the Caucasian race, who in fact were/are even victims of slavery. Until we honestly examine the facts, we will continue to place a heavy burden on our Caucasian children with more and more USA minorities expecting the shame of the world be shouldered by the Caucasian race while the other races get a free “get away with the cover-up” of their own historical shame when it comes to abusing other peoples.
I don’t think we can go on much longer raising a large mass of minorities that feel they are owed monetary support and other special privileges by the Caucasian race. In my opinion they too should have to be faced with their historical abuses and have to shoulder responsibility for those also.
I think for too long we have signaled out the Caucasian race as the focus for the world’s hatred and blame for all evils in the world. I say enough and now I am guilty of defensism.
Not to worry, in 100 years or so when Caucasians are but a memory,the “minorities” in charge will have to pick on someone else. With 3rd world liberals running the world, history will judge us whites kindly.
Surely the proper solution to racism is that everyone hate their own race. That way each of us gets to know what it means to hate and be hated at the same time, and it fits in well with the self-loathing mentality that is so well suited to our post-modern age.
“But then it ends up that the video is of Sherrod telling people how she learned not to judge people on race,”
Not according to several bits of video I’ve seen since the BIG ONES. Sherrod seems adept at inserting and removing her foot from her mouth depending on the script of the moment.
Frank, Im afraid that your plan has already been executed, however it was the white race that was chosen to unite all others against. A winning coalition of voters.
I resent your attacks on Gibberish, sir, truly I do. Foreign language studies are an unjustly neglected part of American education these days, a fact that I think every American ought to feel a bit embarrassed and then more than a little concerned about. The study of foreign languages, like the study of history, expands the mind and slows the creeping provincialism of time and place that is all too often a defining characteristic of American civilization. It seems odd that in a society as relentlessly empirical as that of this our Great Republic there is no voice supporting the study of foreign languages as a tool for personal and professional advancement, but facts remain facts: Americans are notoriously bad at learning foreign languages. Indeed, one could make an excellent case that the troubles Americans have in learning foreign languages are dwarfed only by their struggles to learn English, an obscure West Germanic dialect whose native speakers usualy inhabit large islands and pool halls.
The slow death of foreign language studies in American schools is counterbalanced by the growing demand for self-instruction CDs, so that the average person who wants to learn a foreign language may pick up the rudiments while driving to and fro from work. I can personally attest to the benefits of this approach, as I have spent a goodly number of transport miles deep in the study of Gibberish. My knowledge of Gibberish, although shallow at the moment, has already stood me in good stead. On my occasional photographic forays to the Great Metropolis, where I do my best to capture the indigenous inhabitants in their native habitat, a few well chosen words of Gibberish are often all I need to fend off the hordes of overly aggressive street vendors trying to sell me everything from a small A-bomb (the better to eliminate your boy/girl/whatever friend with a minimum of physical evidence left over to send you to the slammer) to tap dancing zebus (don’t ask). Faced with such a situation I merely say,
“Ag’du na cha’u’ay no tritogash angleskui.” Then I smile apologetically and say, “No spik Eeenglish.” I follow this blatant falsehood with a small bow and then walk away. The small bow is crucial, however; most Americans may not speak Gibberish with any degree of fluency, but everyone knows that Gibbers are an extremely polite people, almost as fastidious as the Japanese in their respect for the proper use of etiquette in any social situation.
Why, you might be asking yourself, would anyone choose to learn such an obscure language when there are so many other, more popular languages I could attempt to learn. There is Spanish, after all, which remains the most popular foreign language still taught in American schools, followed by French, Japanese, and Chinese. Latin is still extremely popular amongst dead people, as is classical Greek and Akkadian, and Akkadian, which is written on clay tablets with a wedge-shaped stick, also counts as a ceramics class credit in a good many universities nowadays. In the foreign language marketplace, Gibberish is a distinct nonstarter and yet this language has become wildly popular amongst the nation’s cultural and governing elites.
Why this is so is something of a mystery. The Gibbers are a small people, as ethnic groups go; most modern Gibbers and their country as well would fit comfortably inside a caravan of recreational vehicles heading up from Florida to see the grandkids over the summer holidays. But even with their demographic and geopolitical deficiencies, there is scarcely a capital city anywhere in the world where you will not find devotees of Gibberish. More than one modern politician has made a great name for him or her self for spouting nothing but the purest Gibberish in public, and the interested legal researcher can find whole passages in much of today’s proposed legislation written in nothing but Gibberish, usually without a convenient translation. The concerned citizen will often find such exercises in monolingualism in the section where the pol sponsoring this particular bit of boondogglery explains how the government is supposed to fund his legislative brainstorm. There’s nothing that brings out the inner Gibber in any politician faster than having to explain where the money is coming from; some things just sound better (and cost fewer votes) in Gibberish than they do in English.
Gibberish has also become extremely popular in many other walks of life, such as the arts and the academy. One can seldom read a critical essay on modern art, for example, without finding long purplish patches of Gibberish explaining why the reader is too dumb to recognize a modern masterpiece when they see it, a phenomenon that occurred with great frequency as the latter half of the late and now unlamented twentieth century slid its way towards a long overdue retirement. So much modern artistic criticism is written in Gibberish nowadays that it is difficult at times to tell the difference between a paean to the genius of Jackson Pollock or Andy Warhol and the New York City regulations regarding alternative side of the street parking during a prospective snow emergency. The trick of distinguishing between the two seems to be that the latter tends to be a bit more abtruse than the former and comes with a large number of meter maids willing to ticket you for your inability to speak Gibberish well.
What is odd in all of this is that the Gibbers themselves have little use for law, the arts, or the academy. Natural anarchists, the Gibbers’ own revolutionary period began and ended when they set fire to their country’s only opera house as a wandering troupe of Wagnerians rehearsed Die Gotterdammerung while listening to the Beatles’ White Album inside. No one is quite sure whether it was Wagner or the Beatles that the revolutionaries objected to, but the troupe did escape from the fire unscathed and with the record unscratched. The record player, on the other hand, was a total write off. When asked about the cause of this terroristic action, one revolutionary told the press that the music sounded too much like the death scream of the yellowfin tuna for your average Gibber to bear, an excellent answer until one realizes that Gibbers live nowhere near the sea and so have no idea what sounds a yellowfin tuna chooses to make in extremis or whether they make any sounds at all beyond those necessary to give the fishermen the middle fin, but then no one ever said that the Gibbers were an especially bright group of people.
To return to the subject, and yes, I think it’s about time too, nowhere is the relationship between Gibberish and its devotees more intense than in the case of the modern academy. Your average professor will write more Gibberish in a week than your average literate Gibber, assuming you could find such a rara avis, will write in twenty years. The Gibbers banned compulsory education after a particularly acrimonious teachers’ strike in 1523 and now educate their children at home. Since most Gibber families are dumber than rocks, it should come as no surprise to anyone that the general level of educational achievement amongst Gibbers tends to be on the low side; they are, however, excellent at sharpening scissors, which is the national sport as well as their country’s leading export. Given this, it is something peculiar that academics find Gibberish so attractive. There are many explanations, but I think the most persuasive one is found in Gibberish’s ability to convey the most complex and subtly nuanced shades of meaning in more than a few words, something that plain English is incapable of.
Still, even with the language’s popularity amongst the elites, it is a shame that more people do not take the opportunity to learn the language. It is among the most beautiful of the unnecessarily polysyllabic tongues and it is among, or so I have heard, the easier foreign languages for an American to learn. I turn to it whenever my decades long pursuit of Spanish frustrates me to the breaking point. My attempts to learn Spanish have been an exercise in linguistic futility, leaving me with little more than the ability to order two beers and ask where the men’s room is. Important things to know, to be sure, but not something that will allow me to read Don Quixote in the original or impress a date with a well-chosen line from Garcia Lorca. Spanish, Polish, Danish, Yiddish, Swedish, Gibberish, Finnish already, they are all mysteries to me, I fear.
I stand in awe of your clear mastery of the art of crap.
sir I am in awe, you could be a senator with the ability to make up that much stuff that people won’t even bother to read it and just agree with you lest they risk looking stupid
Every time someone opposes President Obama’s policies because his polices are the policies of a dumb person, there are groups of people who claim that the only reason Obama is opposed is hatred of black people.
Infuriating, isn’t it ? The abject dumbness of current political dialogue.
…the Congressional Black Caucus
Two of it’s more…notorious members…Rangel and California’s Maxine Waters…are currently swimming around in rather substantial “ethics” charges. Others, too, Gregory Meeks (I remember him for assurances of the soundness of Fannie & Freddie) Jesse Jackson Jr….
Congresscritters of PalloUr are being investigated as well, but that doesn’t seem to matter. Members of the CBC are less focused on the substance of the charges against their wayward members than the notion that persons of coloUr are being unfairly targeted in ethics inquiries, charging that “…There’s a “dual standard, one for most members and one for African-Americans,” said one member of the Congressional Black Caucus, speaking on condition of anonymity.
(Cold Cash Jefferson ? Man, you can’t blame the guy for the $90,000 in his freezer. He’s the son of a sharecropper !)
These people are all true cowards (include Obama and Holder) to throw out the race card every time a black person is caught in nefarious activity.
I have a thesis that weak characters of All Melanin Types get a little “powah” and then assume, like Rangel & Waters, that they’re “entitled” to get away with it.
C’mon, America, get with the program. Here, a somewhat addled Pete Stark tells his constituents that…
The federal government can do most anything in this country
There were these two Puedams, Ollie and Swen. One day Swen said to Ollie…
I object, sir, to your unfair description of Gibberish. Foreign language studies are an unjustly neglected part of American education these days, a fact that I think every American ought to feel a bit embarrassed and then more than a little concerned about. The study of foreign languages, like the study of history, expands the mind and slows the creeping provincialism of time and place that is all too often a defining characteristic of American civilization. It seems odd that in a society as relentlessly empirical as that of this our Great Republic there is no voice supporting the study of foreign languages as a tool for personal and professional advancement, but facts remain facts: Americans are notoriously bad at learning foreign languages. Indeed, one could make an excellent case that the troubles Americans have in learning foreign languages are dwarfed only by their struggles to learn English, an obscure West Germanic dialect whose native speakers are found, for the most part, on fairly large islands and pool halls.
The slow death of foreign language studies in American schools is counterbalanced by the growing demand for self-instruction CDs, so that the average person who wants to learn a foreign language may pick up the rudiments while driving to and fro from work. I can personally attest to the benefits of this approach, as I have spent a goodly number of transport miles deep in the study of Gibberish. My knowledge of Gibberish, although shallow at the moment, has already stood me in good stead. On my occasional photographic forays to the Great Metropolis, where I do my best to capture the indigenous inhabitants in their native habitat, a few well chosen words of Gibberish are often all I need to fend off the hordes of overly aggressive street vendors trying to sell me everything from a small A-bomb (the better to eliminate your boy/girl/whatever friend with a minimum of physical evidence left over to send you to the slammer) to tap dancing zebus (don’t ask). Faced with such a situation I merely say,
“Ag’du na cha’u’ay no tritogash angleskui.” Then I smile apologetically and say, “No spik Eeenglish.” I follow this blatant falsehood with a small bow and then walk away. The small bow is crucial, however; most Americans may not speak Gibberish with any degree of fluency, but everyone knows that Gibbers are an extremely polite people, almost as fastidious as the Japanese in their respect for the proper use of etiquette in any social situation.
Why, you might be asking yourself, would anyone choose to learn such an obscure language when there are so many other, more popular languages I could attempt to learn. There is Spanish, after all, which remains the most popular foreign language still taught in American schools, followed by French, Japanese, and Chinese. Latin is still extremely popular amongst dead people, as is classical Greek and Akkadian, and Akkadian, which is written on clay tablets with a wedge-shaped stick, also counts as a ceramics class credit in a good many universities nowadays. In the foreign language marketplace, Gibberish is a distinct nonstarter and yet this language has become wildly popular amongst the nation’s cultural and governing elites.
Why this is so is something of a mystery. The Gibbers are a small people, as ethnic groups go; most modern Gibbers and their country as well would fit comfortably inside a caravan of recreational vehicles heading up from Florida to see the grandkids over the summer holidays. But even with their demographic and geopolitical deficiencies, there is scarcely a capital city anywhere in the world where you will not find devotees of Gibberish. More than one modern politician has made a great name for him or her self for spouting nothing but the purest Gibberish in public, and the interested legal researcher can find whole passages in much of today’s proposed legislation written in nothing but Gibberish, usually without a convenient translation. The concerned citizen will often find such exercises in monolingualism in the section where the pol sponsoring this particular bit of boondogglery explains how the government is supposed to fund his legislative brainstorm. There’s nothing that brings out the inner Gibber in any politician faster than having to explain where the money is coming from; some things just sound better (and cost fewer votes) in Gibberish than they do in English.
Gibberish has also become extremely popular in many other walks of life, such as the arts and the academy. One can seldom read a critical essay on modern art, for example, without finding long purplish patches of Gibberish explaining why the reader is too dumb to recognize a modern masterpiece when they see it, a phenomenon that occurred with great frequency as the latter half of the late and now unlamented twentieth century slid its way towards a long overdue retirement. So much modern artistic criticism is written in Gibberish nowadays that it is difficult at times to tell the difference between a paean to the genius of Jackson Pollock or Andy Warhol and the New York City regulations regarding alternative side of the street parking during a prospective snow emergency. The trick of distinguishing between the two seems to be that the latter tends to be a bit more abtruse than the former and comes with a large number of meter maids willing to ticket you for your inability to speak Gibberish well.
What is odd in all of this is that the Gibbers themselves have little use for law, the arts, or the academy. Natural anarchists, the Gibbers’ own revolutionary period began and ended when they set fire to their country’s only opera house as a wandering troupe of Wagnerians rehearsed Die Gotterdammerung while listening to the Beatles’ White Album inside. No one is quite sure whether it was Wagner or the Beatles that the revolutionaries objected to, but the troupe did escape from the fire unscathed and with the record unscratched. The record player, on the other hand, was a total write off. When asked about the cause of this terroristic action, one revolutionary told the press that the music sounded too much like the death scream of the yellowfin tuna for your average Gibber to bear, an excellent answer until one realizes that Gibbers live nowhere near the sea and so have no idea what sounds a yellowfin tuna chooses to make in extremis or whether they make any sounds at all beyond those necessary to give the fishermen the middle fin, but then no one ever said that the Gibbers were an especially bright group of people.
To return to the subject, and yes, I think it’s about time too, nowhere is the relationship between Gibberish and its devotees more intense than in the case of the modern academy. Your average professor will write more Gibberish in a week than your average literate Gibber, assuming you could find such a rara avis, will write in twenty years. The Gibbers banned compulsory education after a particularly acrimonious teachers’ strike in 1523 and now educate their children at home. Since most Gibber families are dumber than rocks, it should come as no surprise to anyone that the general level of educational achievement amongst Gibbers tends to be on the low side; they are, however, excellent at sharpening scissors, which is the national sport as well as their country’s leading export. Given this, it is something peculiar that academics find Gibberish so attractive. There are many explanations, but I think the most persuasive one is found in Gibberish’s ability to convey the most complex and subtly nuanced shades of meaning in more than a few words, something that plain English is incapable of.
Still, even with the language’s popularity amongst the elites, it is a shame that more people do not take the opportunity to learn the language. It is among the most beautiful of the unnecessarily polysyllabic tongues and it is among, or so I have heard, the easier foreign languages for an American to learn. I turn to it whenever my decades long pursuit of Spanish frustrates me to the breaking point. My attempts to learn Spanish have been an exercise in linguistic futility, leaving me with little more than the ability to order two beers and ask where the men’s room is. Important things to know, to be sure, but not something that will allow me to read Don Quixote in the original or impress a date with a well-chosen line from Garcia Lorca. Spanish, Polish, Danish, Yiddish, Swedish, Gibberish, Finnish already, they are all mysteries to me, I fear.
@Akaky: CLEARLY, you have too much time on your hands. As previously mentioned, you really ought to consider a career in politics…
I don’t think I could become a politician, not when honest work like armed robbery and narcotics trafficking are available to me.
“And they spend all their time on a sport that everyone agrees is absolutely idiotic and pointless”
They’re soccer* fans? Even more reason to hate them.
*How many soccer games end in a 0-0 tie? Technically, that is pointless.
Actually, rich people will do nicely. After all, soon there won’t be any, but you can keep hating them even when you’ve got rid of all of them, like the Poles and the Hungarians who still hate Jews.
We already went through this. They were called Neanderthals. Trick is to bring them back when science advances just a bit further, and place large numbers around the world to terrorize people with their devotion to barbarism. Wait, we already have those types, and it is doing us no good.
Sorry to beast on Neanderthals, but after all they aren’t around to kill me for making light of them.
For a moment there I thought you were talking about the Minnesota Vikings. Yikes!
Here’s something better: remember the movie Princess Bride? Next time someone calls you a racist, use the movie line, “You keep using that word. I don’t think it means what you think it means.” Then ignore everything else they say.
Is there an American welfare program for the Puedams to leech off of? And what is their reproduction rate? Are they likely to over-produce and spill out of their own section of the world, inflicting themselves on the rest of us whether we want them around or not? What is the likelihood that Obama has a Puedam relative in his background, since he seems to be related to all the other skin colors?
My apologies for the double post; I got overly enthusiastic with the submit button, which sounds more fun than it actually is.
Come the rise of the Caliphate—either by conquest or simply by overpowering birthrate—you will, for the brief time that computer networks continue to function subsequently, be allowed only one choice of button: submit.
i saw that movie it was called idiotocracy. since they neither built anything or had the capability of fixing anything, society regressed to the 7 century level. yes i can hardly wait for the caliphate.
The idea of inventing a Puedam race for everybody to hate is clever, but impossible. I’d hope that at least 90% of your readers understand this instinctively. The reason it’s impossible is that your premise is wrong. If race-consciousness (racism is a belief that science proves that one race is ‘superior’ to all others; science couldn’t prove such a thing, as science can’t make value judgements). Science does prove that skin-color is not a superficial characteristic. It is associated with a specific constellation of physiological differences. I never watch “Bones” or other “CSI”-type shows, but they must often show that race can be determined by examinination of DNA coding, teeth, or skeletal remains. Skin not required. Race-consciousness exists because there are non-superficial differences among various races, which all peoples at all times have observed. That’s why the Puedams won’t do the job.
Francis W. Porretto- Regarding your comment concerning the ‘Maybelline’ product, you’ve got me thinking about an office convo recently. I’ve not so much a racist jab but a shallow (Hey, I admit it) eye, opinion of the current crop of ‘CoverGirls’ spokeswomen.
Drew Barrymore, Queen Latifah and Ellen DeGeneres.. are you kidding me!
The product is called ‘CoverGirl’. If anything, the aforementioned women should be covered completely, head-to-toe.
The title ‘CoverGirl’ is supposed to have beautiful, eye-catching women. Period. The moment anyone can be ‘CoverGirl’, the name should be 86′d.
Barrymore ceases to amaze she’s employed, let alone by Hollywood is astounding (I know her family’s roots in Hollywood but come onnn) in of itself. No redeeming features, personality and dignity. Not to mention she possesses intelligence which rivals the dung beetle (I recommend going to TheOnion.com site and see the ‘news video’ regarding the book ‘Barrymore’ wrote. Hilarious).
Queen Latifah – what happened to Halle Berry?? She STILL looks incredible. Is involved in movies that are not total garbage as those of Ms. Latifah.
The lovely Zoe Saldana (Star Trek), what’s she doing nowadays.
Heck, I’ll even take crazy Naomi Campbell if she’s not busy throwing cell phones, fists of fury etc., at her most recent agent, boyfriend.
Ellen DeGeneres. Okay, perhaps she is filling the role to appease the LGBT.. but what about her wife instead? You know, Portia de Rossi.. the pretty one!
Thats ‘madeup’ spelled backwards with the proper placement of the plural ‘s’. I like it!!!
Well…you’ve done it now Frank. Somewhere a group called the NAAPP (National Association for the Advancement of Purple Puedams)is being formed and J@$~I J(^&%$*+n will be gearing up for some shakedowns!
There has been this strange confusion of race and culture that is indicative of the elementary education that passes for advanced schooling in the US ever since the Federal government took over that task in the mid-60′s – and propelled it into a progressive decline (pun intended) of the education of America’s children in public schools.
Even within the “black” population as a whole, there are a myriad of cultures – just ask the Hutus, eh? And do describe the Irish, English, French,and so on ad nauseam as “races” is mere ignorance. They are different cultures, but generally teh homogenous traditional population is about as caucasian as one can get.
Biologically, there are three macro races – remember that, anyone? Genetically, those folks will be paying for their retirement for years in mapping the possible sub-races that exist on that basis, something like the philosophers which made money for aeons arguing what “42″ meant until the next ‘ultimate’ computer was built.
The ongoing ignorance either illustrates the perilous state if education, the dearth of opportunities taken up by its subjects, or the fact that the state has been thoroughly effective in its goal of dumbing down the population. Given that television is such an addicted technology for the masses, I tend to prefer the latter explanation.
typo corrections:
And to describe the Irish, English, French,and so on ad nauseam as “races” is…
They are different cultures, but generally the homogenous, traditional…
Sorry – my fingers often fail to move as fast as my thoughts…
Fleming. Thanks for making me laugh. I like your solution to this problem and if you want to form a racist group of bigots that hate the Puedams, count me in.
Fleming do you mind posting this video style on Street Rebuttal? our viewers would love to check it out http://www.streetrebuttal.com/view_topic/23
NO; NO; NO;
I have the solution: When you attain voting age, you are required to pick what race you identify with, and you are stuck with that for life. Even if you are indigenous tribal Peudam, or are successful with your sex change operation.
Even if you convert to islam.
And no Title 7, Title 77, or Title 777777 (appendix xivixvvii) shall apply.
US Code? Heh; probably already there!
Why, ANONYMOUS; You sound just like Cybergeezer!
This is terrific and I congratulate the author.But, I’d like to see a photo of him before I sign onto the program.
That was awesome. I loved it. Wait, the Irish? Hey, I’m Irish. You racist ba$tard. My the devil know you’re dead before you do. Or something like that. And I like the Peudam’s hats. They hold a whole pint of beer and keep it cold too. So there.
Is Barney a Puedam? Just askin’.
(NOT Barney Frank you silly! Barney the Dinosaur. I love you, you love me and all that…)
And the Puedam beer is the WORST. Ever.
Dear Dr. Bones,
I suppose one must award this Party-an’-Ideology din’alin’ a few points for neocleverness: not everywingnut thinks of recommendin’ the present policy of Wingnut City by pretendin’ to have discovered or invented an even better one.
The current gizmo of Kiddie Selfservatism works as follows: what the Daughters of Virtue and Sons of Wisdom (LLC) crave, as regards race and racial prejudice and le racisme prétendée en Amérique, is simple silence. Whether the R-stuff actually goes away once everybody resolutely neo-ignores (“benignly neglects”) it is immaterial, except insofar as it might weaken the resolve to neglect and ignore.
Now if all the world, or at least all the Heimatland Gottes, were card-carryin’ scions of V. and W, that would be the end of it. Unfortunately, the woods are full of demonocrats and lieberals and union thugs and “the Democrat Party” and so on and so forth, all manner of vicious fiends whom only physical gags and muzzles could shut up.
’Twas in hoc discrimine rerum, as I conjecture, that Don Franquito de Flémin decided the best thing to do in the path of Party and AEIdeology — unless or until gaggin’ and muzzlin’ becomes a practical possibility — is to attempt to discredit all that silly talk. So it forges itself a nagmara and sallies forth as if it were Dean Swift come again: “Look here, O ye Virtuous and Wise, and behold how extremely laughable discourse about alleged injustices to Blacks and Tans can be!” Hopin’ that its own spooferies will be taken as typical of the genre as a whole.
There is little or nothing good to say about the señorito’s actual execution of its nifty agitprop plan, but perhaps a B+ for thinkin’ of it?
Au moins il est différent from that tiresome old New Criterion approach of featurin’ a monthly “Worst Outrage Ever of the Senile ’68ers” that requires some innocent Daugher of Virtue to work through all sorts of icky lieberalisms and demonocracies in quest of the stinkiest stinkfruit of all. Even if just makin’ one up from scratch does not work any more real execution on the foe (as I expect it will not), just think of the savin’s in neocomradely time and energy!
(( A straight ‘B’ at very least! ))
And I wish you, sir,
Happy days through affordable healthcare.
hmmm.. you just wasted about three minutes of my life with a stupid and pointless attempt at humour.
But since I’m here, may I suggest that racism just is.
Racism exists, it will always exist and there is absolutely nothing anyone can do about it, aside from an affirmative action that just pisses us off immensely – and we’ll remember. Blacks often hate us – and vice versa, plus a few other exotic types that are not worth mentioning. We live within our own race to the best of our abilities, and given the chance we’ll probably self-segregate in a hurry. And then possibly go to war and slaughter each other for past sins real and imagined and just because they are so goddamn different and stupid and hate us.
If the past is anything to go by, that’s the way it works in our animal kingdom. So enjoy and contemplate your time, cultivate friends, love your family, grow a garden and stock up on ammo and survival skills, just in case the future knocks at the door in our fleeting lifetimes. Peace, for now anyway, and then we’ll see.
Speaks gibberish, has a cultural whose dress and traditions are like a totally foolish, plays games that every one thinks are totally stupid…
I think we’ve also seen the first Puedam albino.
Lady Gaga.
Instead, race is pretty much all we talk about.
If by “we”, you mean Pajamas Media, then yes, that was just about the only honest thing in here.
Dear Mr. Fleming,
You say in your article; “…but, just try and convince some people you’re not racist…”.
WHY try? WHY care that someone with suspect motives calls you a racist; or, anything else? Don’t waste your breath.
Hopefully, we become someone we like seeing in the mirror. Even if we have failed to find the wisdom which precludes the presence of dark impulses such as irrational racism; and, we are, in fact, racist; WHY care what others think? I say, do your best; and, “To thine own self be true.” – Remembering, that calling other people judgmental names is NOT ‘doing your best’.
What others think will always be colored by their own human fallibilities and motives. Just don’t participate in nonproductive talk. Just walk away. That is the most effective way I know to diffuse any argument or unwelcome aggression. Then you’re part of the solution instead of contributing to the problem.
Since you can’t please everyone; WHY try? I find that peace comes with realistic expectations, self evolution, spiritual faithfulness, sincere humility, and the freedom gained when we practice forgiveness. Realizing our own faults makes it easier to forgive others theirs.
Now to your humorous suggestion. You seem to advocate creating a diversion of sorts; aiming to redirect the focus of our irresistible urge to target “the enemy”. There’s a big problem with your plan. Seeing someone ‘different’ as the bad guy, makes us the bad guy. Racism is an ailment which harms the host; not the target. Thus, changing the target, even a fictional one, solves nothing.
I never was any good at jokes.
That was inspiring.
Here’s the thing. We’re not talking about Bingo Night, here. We’re talking about our political discourse–what we talk about in terms of the political future of our country, what we advocate in terms of perspective and action. I certainly don’t care if you’re a racist, nor if you’re a sheep-buggerer. Indeed, you seem likely both. That’s none of my business. However, when you’re encouraging other people to apply ill-reasoned appeals to emotion based on ignorance and racism to elections and policy, that is where, my friend, your right to be a racist ends. Yell fire in your own home with your pants around your ankles and a goat stuck on the tip of your patrimony while watching home-made porn of your cousin deflowering game hens, for all I care. None of my business what you get up to in the privacy of your own mind and/or living room/barn.
Flood the country’s discourse with silly and insipid themes and issues that will run our nation into an economic and foreign policy abyss…well, sorry that’s not okay with me.
‘Here’s the thing.’
You and I do not speak the same language; THANK GOD!
Q: What does a Puedam order at a bar?
A: Double Purple Hooters.
Having been born that other color I have learned I am racist just by being born. No matter what I do or say I will all ways be racist. I have discrimated and been discrimated against more times than you can imagine, but I will all ways be racist. Just because I breath I am racist, if I stop breathing I will still be racist past tense. Might as well enjoy be racist because I am RACIST.
Racism In (and Outside) America
Probably the 3 most pathetic news items to hit the wires in the last 24 hours are the desparate efforts of Rep. Maxine Waters and Rep. Charles Rangel to blame their ethical violations on racism and the effort of the family of mass murderer Omar Thornton to do likewise.
They’re pathetic but explicable in the racially-charged atmosphere and race-baiting the Obama administration has created in this country.
Gallup has released its latest poll on the president’s job approval ratings revealing, in a nutshell, that there is a marked racial component in how African-Americans think and function.
Gallup reports that “Obama’s job approval ratings among blacks, whites, and Hispanics in July are all at their lowest levels to date, although the overwhelming majority of blacks still approve.”
Thus, in post-racial America, it seems that quite a few people still operate on a racial plane. Blacks, especially, approve of and will undoubtedly again vote for Obama come 2012 although their approval has slipped to a still robust 88% in July as opposed to the 96% that voted for him just 20 months ago.
Since only 38% of whites now approve of the job Obama has been doing, a 50% difference, something seems awry. Compared with the 2008 tally when Obama garnered 43% of the white vote, that’s a very significant disparity since blacks only comprised 13% of the overall vote and whites 74%: http://tiny.cc/ktxwp
So what do we make of that plethora of numbers? . . .
(Read more at http://www.genelalor.com/blog1/?p=1824)
It’s About Time Someone Punched Back!
Let’s face it. As a group, conservatives are too often weenies, just too damned meek for their own good.
Granted, the second Beatitude reads, “The meek shall inherit the Earth” but before that can happen we have to battle defamation, promote truth, challenge the defamers, and win elections. Humility, docility, and submissiveness just won’t cut it nowadays.
With virtually the entirety of the mainstream media on the other side, it’s no easy task to battle, promote, and challenge the left, the liberals, the “progressives” so it’s good to see some degree of resistance and retaliation such as that demonstrated yesterday by the Tea Party.
That much-maligned, amorphous and diverse collection of Americans, blacks, whites, elders, young people, Democrats, Republicans, independents, libertarians, and moderates are concerned primarily about excessive taxation, (TEA=Taxed Enough Already), big government and everything associated with big government including its primary exponent, President Barack Obama.
It is the Tea Party’s opposition to Obama that has inspired most of the brickbats hurled its way.
Even before Obama’s election, it was widely expected that any criticism of the president would be contorted into charges of racism . . .
(Read more at http://www.genelalor.com/blog1/?p=1825)
As I read these comments I am surprised how much they resemble remarks from my less mature students. Conservatism seems a form of emotional growth inhibition. I guess conservatism is a form of political “Peter Pan Syndrome.”