Stunning Revelations from Obama, the Lightworker
Five astounding things The One has taught us so far.
August 28, 2010 - 12:00 am
How long has it been since you’ve heard some starry-eyed Obama worshiper gush on and on about the Lightworker? Or heard suspicious accounts of “leg-tingling” from media folks? Or heard a supposedly intelligent American drone on about Obama as hovering above the rest of us as “sort of God”?
Yes, it’s been quite a while since the throngs fainted, fawned, and followed The One.
But let’s cut Obama, our benevolent leader, a little slack. While he’s off spreading our wealth around in that pestilence-ridden pocket of American poverty, Martha’s Vineyard, let’s recount the stunning truths Obama’s presidency and Democrat rule have taught us so far. I surely do hope this rekindles the national conversation on the amazing prowess of The One.
Revelation #5: We now know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that our formerly august mainstream media is replete with socialists.
How do we know? Thanks to their crass pre-election fawning and subsequent cover-up of Obama’s radical beliefs and associations, the media has shown their true colors to every single sentient American. This revelation has brought to an end the decades-long debate over bias in the media — it’s settled, and that’s that. Americans are voting on the out-of-the-socialist-closet media by ignoring them and tuning them out in record numbers. What a relief. Thank you, Lightworker!
Revelation #4: We now know that “limousine liberals” is objectively apt — they only love the poor with other people’s money.
We know that when it comes to the high life, Democrats believe in partying hardy, sending taxpayers every bill they can while living lives of luxury the rest of us can ill-afford. We know, too, that Democrats cheat on their taxes and wrangle government deals for their relatives with a feeling of entitlement that is sure to put the term “public servant” in disrepute for the next century. Thanks to the growth of government on the Lightworker’s watch, we have seen public employees now eclipse the earnings and benefits of private workers, with the only end in sight the fate of Greece.
Praise to the Lightworker and his fellow Democrats for teaching us these essential lessons, which reinforce our will to throw them all on the unemployment lines posthaste.
Revelation #3: We now know that the only economic policy liberals consider is tax and spend, spend, spend, then tax some more. Nothing else even enters the discussion.
Between the host of economic advisers brought on board by the Lightworker in Chief, there isn’t a smidgen of real-life business experience among them. Promised by his economic brain trust that unemployment would not rise above 8% if the stimulus package was passed, we are now experiencing 9.5% unemployment in a seemingly never-ending cycle.
It’s hard to know how to create jobs when you’ve never had a real one.
Thanks again to the Lightworker, the words “hope” and “change” have become the summer’s pejoratives, and Americans are wondering whether there is a single person in this administration who gives a darn. But at least America now knows that there really are people who believe that money grows on trees, and apparently they all work for Democrats in government.
Gratuitously thrown into this revealing pot is the revelation that Ivy League degrees, once sought and revered, aren’t worth the cost of the paper upon which they’re printed. Parents now know to save a bundle of cash by avoiding the Ivies like the plague and sending their kids to colleges not run by liberals — where real math, economics, science, and history are still taught.
Revelation #2: The Lightworker has revealed for all the world to see — again — that appeasement still does not work. And that awarding peace prizes preemptively, based on someone’s decision to, again, try appeasement, reveals just what fools the Nobel elitists are.
We know now that appeasement does not bring enemy nations to lay down their arms and come amiably to the negotiating table. We see clearly that, once given an inch of unilateral disarmament, imperialism just salivates over the mile. We understand that when America plays weak on the world stage, instead of quelling their desire for war and the proliferation of nuclear weapons, enemies simply become emboldened.
Thanks to the Lightworker, “cowboy diplomacy” has been redeemed with frightening clarity.
Which brings us to the most stunning revelation of all regarding Obama and his Democrat rule.
Revelation #1: Liberal Democrats don’t stop to ask the following questions before pressing forward:
1. Is it constitutional?
2. Will it work?
Yes, they really are this aloof. Democrats care nothing for the rights of individual citizens, and simply do not grasp how such rights can be respected only by a limited government.
They couldn’t care less whether a program will actually work, or if it’s simply an experiment. Heck, they don’t even read the bills they pass.
Clearly, the only question liberal Democrats ask is: “can we get away with it?” And for the past 18 months under the Lightworker’s care, the only answer — in complete disregard of public opinion — is a hearty, in-your-face: “yes, we can.”
So on behalf of all humble citizen taxpayers, allow me to extend gracious thanks to Barack Obama for shedding such brilliant light on the darkness of Democrat machinations. He has indeed done this country a mighty favor. One really can’t put a price tag on enlightenment of this magnitude. He is a Lightworker, all right, the kind that hopefully comes along only once every other century or so.