Social Networking: All Me, All the Time
And for a very, very brief moment I consider simply unfollowing every single person I’m currently following on Twitter and FriendFeed, deleting every RSS entry in my feed reader along with my blogroll, and changing my email addresses. But then, after I’ve insulted or offended people right and left, who would read my blog? After all, that’s why I got into this social networking thing in the first place: to acquire more readers and widen the audience of people who read what I write.
Because, you see, that’s ultimately the allure of social networking. Whether we want to admit it or not, we all believe our lives are fascinating; that every website that’s captured our interest should hold equal appeal to those who know us; and that other people — whether we’ve met them in meat space or cyberspace — need to be informed of not only our latest thoughts as expressed in our blog entries, but even the minutia of our day as captured in 140 words or less on Twitter. And woe to our “friends” who don’t agree.
It’s as if, having been told throughout our childhood by our mothers and teachers that we’re special, we not only believe it but are now determined to convince everyone else of that fact, too. Oh, we call it “social networking,” but there’s nothing truly social about the endless stream of data we’re putting out about ourselves, our lifestreams, as they’re sometimes called. The web, which once existed as a place to which we turned primarily to acquire information about diverse topics, is now primarily a forum for us to put out information on the topic which fascinates us the most: ourselves.
The fact that we call people who read our lifestreams our “friends” or “fans” or “followers” shows how very un-social all this social networking really is. There are no distinctions between true friends and the rest of the masses in social networking. “Friends” are anyone who likes us enough to follow the minutia of our lives. And those we’ve known for years who don’t find our endless stream of entries and disjointed thoughts fascinating? Those who’ve succumbed, as many have, to Facebook fatigue? Well, by social networking definition, they aren’t friends or fans or followers.
There was a time when I — along with millions of others — went online in search of information that I couldn’t otherwise access. Now, between blogging and social networking, online time is about putting out information about ourselves. Back then, the stereotype of a typical internet user was that of a geek sitting at a keyboard chugging down Diet Coke and eating Doritos, a modern-day hermit whose anti-social tendencies led him or her to withdraw from the real world in favor of practically living online.
These days? That geek’s still at the keyboard just as often, if not more so, but now instead of that time being anti-social it’s spent in a form of frenzied, 24/7 hyper-socializing in which he or she constantly transmits every thought and event to an “audience” consisting of people all too easily considered friends. Except that they’re not. These very people with whom we’ve shared so many mundane details of our lives might seem to know us as well as offline friends, but they don’t. They can’t. Because, just as we’re so busy emitting our own lifestream data, they’re doing the same.
Groucho Marx once said of social clubs, “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.”
I’m beginning to think that way of social networks, myself. Having just spent another morning of my life reading the most boring details of other people’s mornings, I’ve realized how very little things like Twitter, FaceBook, or FriendFeed actually contribute to one’s life: it’s more like sitting in a room full of over-caffeinated narcissistic Tourette’s patients with ADHD who are all trying to be the most entertaining. And, really, what’s so social about a monologue?
I went to the hardware store today. My shower screen was leaking and I needed to look for a strip of plastic, but they didn’t have one. Apparently they only sell complete units and not parts!!! This is SO WRONG because the strip will inevitably wear. It is effectively a consumable and should be treated as such.
BUT
I have just bought a bean-to-cup espresso machine that is just perfect so life is actualy pretty good.
I thought all that stuff was for teens without cars? I don’t know any other adults who have time for a lifestyle like that. It sounds as productive as playing solitaire by yourself all day.
I got up, made coffee, fed the cat, turned on my PC and read an article at Pajamas Media about posting about one’s life.
Can anybody top that?
2 pages? Really? Maybe the second page got better but I can’t be bothered to read two pages of someone saying they can’t be bothered to read a twitter comment.
This is why you shouldn’t use Twitter. Penny Arcade, true to profane form, made a great point about it here.
The minute-by-minute apps have never interested me — I don’t text, either. I use a couple of different aggregators to organize my feeds by work subjects and interests, and I don’t read them every day.
I’ve made a couple of true friends online, but really I see these lists as communities of shared interests — we intersect at that point, but don’t necessarily owe each other anything.
To the author:
Quit being a fake. If you dont care about what people do every single second, have the mental and social fortitude to admit it. Quit replying, and twittiquette be damned. When you respond and pretend to care, You are actually lying to your “friends”.
Mary Jackson said: “I got up, made coffee, fed the cat, turned on my PC and read an article at Pajamas Media about posting about one’s life.
Can anybody top that?”
Darn! You stole my line!
I just spent 30 seconds I’ll never get back reading the drivel written about the drivel.
Yes, it’s all pretty boring and mundane, but then again, I just sat and read through 2 pages of someone complaining about all this social networking and people’s boring blog lives, yet the author posted the link to this article on 2 of her blogs.
Who’s the narcissist again?
You may want to back up and really think about your complaint.
You complained about yourself as well as insulted every single one of your “readers” who have been reading the very boring ins and outs of your daily life for several years now.
Wow.
I blog for myself. I consider it the same way I would a diary – a chance to write down my thoughts. If people read it, great, but if they don’t, that’s fine.
I think a good blog is less about what the person writes about and more about how they write. Look at a blogger like Lileks – most of his posts are what he did yesterday, but he’s an awesome writer and makes it interesting.
FD, Not really. Does KB text-, or twitter-, or whatever-you, to ask whether you like her stuff? Do you have to link to it in your own blog or social site to avoid offending her? It’s all that stuff that so vexed KB. I think.
Most people have a few interesting things to say about themselves and their daily lives (not me though…oh and not Glenn Reynolds either), so posting about your own life is not necessarily a crime.
We should all thank KB. She is bravely, heroically even, navigating a path through the new social frontier, seeking out new forms of communication and discovering unknown etiquettes…. I’ll stop now
I was just starting to increase my visits to PajamasMedia, but if this is the drivel I will find above the fold, I will reconsider.
How boring a life you must have when it consists of IMs and twitter blather,Whatever…
Bob
On reflection, I kind of agree that this is just a bad article.
There is a difference between reading/commenting on other peoples blogs as part of a blog’s business model and doing it because of genuine interest in the person or subject matter. Blogs providing information about a particular subject/issue (rather then personal mussing)and found through organic search may not require the kind of reciprocal reading/commenting described in this post. It is different for personal blogs monetized through advertising and requiring many subscribers. If the people, who e-mail asking for comments, are your subscribers, commenting on their blogs,Twitter-ing, IM-ing is part of your blog’s business model of attracting readers. It is business, not real friendships. When you stop commenting on each others blogs, the “relationship” would most likely end.
You know you can change the settings on each of those website so that you don’t 200 emails every day, right?
but I agree with you, this “social networking” shit is rotting the brains of the younger generation (which I am ashamed to say I am apart of)
This is your brain: E=MC2
This is your brain on twitter: Dude, that is so righteous!
Any questions?
HA! That is great …. anonymous twits.
I blog about my day-to-day life, mostly because I’m so busy with it that I don’t have time for really deep thought or well-written stuff. I do it for three reasons: one, to inform my family and real-life friends what’s going on; two, to create a chronicle of my life; three, to put down information that might be useful to other people in the same circumstances as me. I have kids with disabilities and food allergies and have often wondered how other people have done what I do, and I find day-to-day life blogs valuable to pass on recipes, tips, and information.
If your online “friends” are IM’ing you to ask if you’ve read their latest text message, you really need to get friends with mental ages higher than thirteen. None of my friends, even my blogging friends, do that. It’s just waaaay too “junior high” for us grownups.
Facebook has turned out to be a great way to keep in touch with distant family and friends, who can be difficult to contact through normal means (phone, snail-mail, etc.).
As for Twitter and blogs, it’s all just harmless ego masturbation, but we’re allowed a bit of that in our lives, aren’t we?
ironically, that’s why I finally made a blog. I moved overseas, and thought it would be nifty cool handy to keep up with folks back home via email. Afterall, most of these people I’d been sending short notes to regarding work, school and family events for years. We chatted and texted and met up in person, so keeping up via email seemed natural enough.
But, it didn’t work. I would spend an evening typing a thoughtful letter, referencing things they’d mentioned on their last email, answering questions they asked, providing followup as well as sharing new info. I’d write a proper letter. In response, if there was any response at all, I get a set of announcements with no reference to what I’d said, not even answers to direct questions.
So, I made a blog. My mom gets a email that is a letter, but I include the blog address too, because there may be more information there that I didn’t specifically mention in the email. one of my daughters and I use IM a couple times a week, and we read each others blogs. One friend and I play continous rounds of FB scrabulous and chat in the chat box there. Everyone else gets an announcement that the blog is updated. Most read it pretty soon, almost all read it eventually. Some comment, some are prompted to send me a blog-post type email about their life. I don’t like it. But I am no longer disappointed by reading their responses and feeling they didn’t giveadamn about the info I’d shared with them.
I’d been thinking about making my blog more public, but this weekend I really noticed the number of blogs who cross-reference each other (generating hits) or mention various conventions and get togethers, or who take turns subbing for each other (hit building again). It begins to seem like an electronic pyramid scheme: all the hits from all the people trying to get hits so that they all get a bit of money from the ads which they are all feeding from the same sources. It also feels like junior high on this end: all the cool kids talking amongst themselves and hanging out together, while the rest of us listen from the next table over in the lunchroom. We can comment, but we aren’t really part of it in the same way.
Sounds more like “twaddle” to me. How can you call it social networking when there is no substance. I could care less about every boring step a person takes. It’s much more interesting to discuss actual subject matter. Unfortunately, IMs, Texting, etc. are just letting the banality in through another door.
What nonsense. If you don’t want to be bothered by all of it then get rid of all of it. And who the Hell wants to read the boring details of your life? My life isn’t interesting even to me. It’s just a normal American life. I sure don’t want to share the daily grind with even my best friends nor do I want to hear any more than the extraordinary about their lives; births, deaths, graduations, etc. not their breakfast menu or what their current work project is. I’ve never really understood the social networking phenomenon for anyone older than say, 25. Grow up. Get to work.
try “Angry Journalist” some time…… and listen to ‘em cry !
My Twitter entry just says I’m contemplating my navel. At any given time, it’s either true, or might as well be.
The truth obviously hurts, and offends! I enjoyed reading this immensely and couldn’t agree more, even as a fellow blogger.