Ask Dr. Helen: Should Prince William Wear a Wedding Ring?
Shortwave8669 sends a question from his iPhone:
Dear Dr. Helen,
I see in the news that Prince William will not be wearing a wedding ring after marrying Kate Middleton. Is this decision different than a wife that does not take her husband’s last name?
I see many are upset at his decision but we no longer notice what I think is a similar female choice. Why? Both decisions seem of equivalent impact.
Shortwave
Dear Shortwave,
Apparently, many people are discussing the issue of Prince William’s wedding ring as evidenced by this BBC news show on the topic. In the show, the Brits on the street were asked if he should wear one, and they had a variety of answers:
“Who does he think he is?”
“In modern times, young men don’t like to wear a ring.”
“We all know he’s getting married, so what’s the difference?”
On the same show, a news panel with two men and two women weighed in. One woman thought he absolutely should wear a ring, as it is “a symbol of love” and because William is a “self-proclaimed cad.” A man on the panel said this was “rubbish, and just about women’s lib more than anything else. In modern times, it is a personal choice and if William doesn’t want to wear a ring, he shouldn’t.”
So what is the tradition of men wearing a wedding ring? According to eHow (perhaps not the most credible source, but I thought this post to be sensible), it is this:
Wedding rings for men became more accepted during World War II. Soldiers wore rings to represent commitment to wives at home. Today, some men choose to wear or forgo wedding rings for various professional or cultural reasons. Some men wear wedding rings, like women, to represent the commitment they have made. Other men choose not to wear rings because they avoid jewelry or because cultural or religious traditions discourage rings for men.
I have to say: I am personally torn. On one hand I can see wearing a wedding ring as a symbol of commitment and love, but on the other I agree with the male panelist at the BBC who said it was “all about women’s lib.” Just as women used to think they were seen as possessions of men (which may or may not have been true), men are now seen as indentured servants who exist to serve women’s needs and desires.
I can understand not wanting to wear a ring; they are inconvenient, and for people who don’t like jewelry, a real pain. Or William may feel that traditionally men did not wear rings, and he likes this tradition. Who knows? As one of the panelists above at the BBC said: “It’s his personal decision.” If a woman didn’t want to wear a ring, my guess is everyone would say: “You go, girl!” — just as they would if the woman did not want to take her husband’s name. That was tradition, so women decided to break it.
So can William. “You go, boy,” and don’t let anyone tell you how to live your life or interfere in your marriage, even if you are the potential king of England.
What do you readers think: ring or no ring? Do you wear one or not?
Most men in Britain do not wear wedding rings. My grandfathers did not, my father did not,I do not. Tradition.
It is also about class. A few effete upper middle class men wear them. It fits in with their general pattern of behavior. Working class men do not wear a wedding ring. It is unmasculine and the darned thing gets in the way if you are tinkering or getting your hands mucky. If you take it off and put it down it would get lost. I don’t wear a wrist watch for this reason. It stays in my pocket.
Good Prince Billy stands for the men of England
This is a silly debate.
Will the ring create jobs, pay bills , make you a better person?
Next you folks out there will be saying what color underwear he needs to wear, if any..
This is purely a matter of custom. My father did not have a wedding ring. I do. People should mind their own business.
It’s traditional withing the royal family for the men not to wear a ring. It may even be the habit among aristocratic families as well. If none of the men in his family wear one, then why should he?
I wore my wedding ring for many years until I almost pulled my finger off while working around the farm. I was descending a ladder and slipped and caught my ring on a rung. After the swelling went down and the cut healed, I took off the ring and haven’t worn any ring since.
My father did not wear a ring for workplace safety reasons. My mother’s father said “only pigeons wear rings”. I do not know why some men can wear jewelry and look fine yet still others look goofy (similar to facial hair). Rings have limited value as an indicator for honoring one’s commitment. When my sister wedding ring was being repaired, she discovered that it had been deflecting interest. Whether Prince William wears a ring or not there will be people who do not care so it will be up to him to honor his commitment. Besides he is probably one that would look goofy wearing jewelry.
Dr. Helen reminds me of my mother. She despised women too.
Is it “women” or the current crop of women’s libbers? ‘Cause I’m with her on the current crop of women’s libbers!
If they can’t recognize strong, conservative women (e.g. Sarah Palin) as successful and as role models, then they’re just a bunch of political hacks. Remember how they continued to support Bill Clinton, a serial womanizer of the worst sort, always preying on women who were in some way vulnerable, esp. because they might be his employees, because he had signed what they considered pro-(liberal-)woman legislation? Whores for liberal causes?
Julie, that gave me a great giggle! Thanks! But for accuracy’s sake, you should pay more attention to what Helen says and less attention to what your mother said if you want to understand Helen’s positions.
Trey
“Dr. Helen reminds me of my mother. She despised women too.”
We know about Oedipus and Elektra, but has anyone ever investigated just how much women hate their mothers?
Perhaps there is a gene for cruelty on the X chromosome.
Maybe she just didn’t like you.
There’s a lot to despise about about American women. Culture changes in the USA in the last 50 years, including grievance feminism, welfare-ism and legal coddling, have not been good for their moral and emotional development.
My thoughts exactly. And many of the people who comment on her videos/postings against women are serious misogynists who get away with saying vile things.
Mostly, I do not wear my wedding ring. It’s just uncomfortable for me when I type, and I’m a computer programmer, so I’m on a keyboard 60% of the word day.
I do try to remember to wear it out on special occasions, like our anniversary.
Personal choice, as it should be. I have worn mine on the wedding day, have been married for 15 and I really don’t need a piece of metal to show my wife how much I am committed. There are other, better, and greater ways.
It should be obvious by behavior what a person is. William is famous enough that any woman aggring to sex knows he is married. No need for rings – for that matter it’s clear from sites on the internet, married men may be preffered- one can hopefully trust they would be discreet- Just look at the guy who made so much money off Princess Diana)
It should be obvious by behavior what a person is. William is famous enough that any woman aggring to sex knows he is married. No need for rings – for that matter it’s clear from sites on the internet, married men may be preffered- one can hopefully trust they would be discreet- Just look at the guy who made so much money off Princess Diana)
After all a “modest” Muslim wearing a headscaf has nerver been known to permit anyone to prove her virginity by letting anyone examine her for an intact hymen. ( great oppunity for a muslim business- monthly exams to certify a hymen has not been surgicaly reconstructed. Bet it could make more money than Halal bucherery. According to Iranian ayatollas a muslim can even have sex with a baby. British law not allowing underage marriage means at least 14 years of business with every clients family. Talk about job security!)
Personally, I think he should wear it. To me, the ring is more than a symbol of love. It’s a outword symbol of your commitment an union. It’s the equivalent of wearing or displaying any religious symbol, up to, and holding sacred any physical object. People pack things for, “good luck,” yet won’t wear a ring? You see, to me marriage is a Sacrament. The ring is your outword sign that you have taken the Sacrament. Continued wearing of the ring is a demonstration of your commitment to the Sacrament, no matter what the times think, or what some one else wants. Not wearing one to me is saying, “I’m a free agent. I won’t hold to any belief system. I am not accountable to any thing.” But hey, if your marriage is nothing more than a legal union, and you don’t feel much bound to your mate, then by all means, knock yourself out.
As for the women’s lib bit, so what? What does women’s lib have to do with a symbol or unity, or a visible shwoing of a commitment to some thing greater than you? To me, when I hear this about wedding commitments all I hear is some one complaining about peeing in their own Cheerios. Wearing a ring near as I can tell has nothing to do with Femi-Nazi’s. The way I see it, the FN’s don’t want to way a ring either, and then blame men for the, “demand.” I can just hear, “It’s men’s want to shackle us again!” This time around it’s just a dude that happens to be the person in question.
I guess it’s the question of what are you willing to do to commit do some one else? What are you willing to sacrifice to show unity with some one else? What does a symbol for a Sacrament, your vows, mean to you? What would you give up to support a marriage?
Here’s the thing: In the old system, women needed to wear rings and men didn’t. Why? Because it was the men doing the wooing and the asking. They needed a symbol to tell them whether it was appropriate to start wooing and asking. Since no woman (as a general but almost universal rule) would be pursuing a man in that same direct way, the need for men to wear a ring was not nearly as important.
If women are planning to pursue Prince William and are unsure of his marital status then perhaps he needs to wear one – otherwise, no.
What is the history of the double ring ceremony? According to Wikipedia it developed after WWII.
“The double-ring ceremony, or use of wedding rings for both partners, is a relatively recent innovation. The American jewelery industry started a marketing campaign aimed at encouraging this practice in the late 19th century.[1] Learning from marketing lessons of the 1920s, changing economic times, and the impact of World War II, led to a more successful marketing campaign, and by the late 1940s, double-ring ceremonies made up for 80% of all weddings, as opposed to 15% before the Great Depression.[1]“
Well, I do wear a ring, and have for 31 years now. We couldn’t afford one when we got married, but about a year later my wife bought me a simple white gold band for about $150. That represented about 60 hours of overtime at Oster, in a plant without air conditioning, in Tennessee, and she was pregnant with our first child for most of that time. So it was a sacrifice for her to save up the money to buy it, and you can bet I plan to wear that same ring until I die.
I replaced the cheap ring I bought her for our wedding on our 10th anniversay with one a lot more flashy, because we could finally afford it. And she wears it every day.
Not necessary, and not important, except for what they represent to US.
Prince William should do what is right for him and his bride. Their row is going to be quite hard enough to hoe without worrying about what others think, they need to concentrate on what they need from each other.
In view of relatively recent history, (ahem!) I think he should reconsider…
Or else, Kate should answer with a pre-nup, to hedge her bets…
I wear my ring when I’m out publicly, but not usually when working. I don’t like getting it scratched, and when working around machine tools its not a good idea anyway.
Well, the woman is marrying the Kingdom, the Kingdom does not marry the woman. His outward duty is to represent England, for one day he will.
His relationship to his wife is one of inward conscience with no need of outward trappings.
Joan, I must disagree. His job and position are completely public and symbolic. In exchange for the burdens of royalty, he is rich and powerful! I think all England suffered from his father’s horrid marriage to Diana and subsequent marriage. If he were an elected official or private citizen, I would agree with you. Since he is a royal, the rules change in my mind.
Trey
I do not believe a wedding ring prevented Charles from cheating on Diana. I think William is cut from sterner, more ethical material. The wedding ring matters not a bit.
I’d like it on record that I care not a whit for those inborn Windsors (nee Hapsburg), nor any of their doings.
Nor do I care if or who wears whatever ring.
Not Hapsburg, Hanover. Or Saxe-Coburg-Gotha. But not Hapsburg.
The ring to me is a symbol of marriage—an institution which tradition says is permanent and exclusive. I wear mine because I view my marriage to be of such importance that it superceds my career and other choices I have made.
Wedding rings are not traditional for men in England. A signet ring is acceptable if it has any real significance, but, these days, it makes you look like an estate agent.
Anyway, rings are dangerous. Many years ago, I met someone whose hand was all bandaged up. He was an archaeology professor, who had been at a dig site, and jumped down from a wall with his hand resting on the top of the wall. It caught his wedding ring at just the wrong angle, and snapped his finger off. They weren’t able to re-attach it, so he has been missing a finger ever since.
In the unlikely event I ever get married, I certainly won’t be wearing a ring. Nor would I be in the slightest bit concerned if my putative wife didn’t want to do so.
And, incidentally, a wedding ring doesn’t show that a woman is possessed by anyone. Rather, it shows that it would be damned bad manners for a chap to make a pass at her.
Been married for 28 years, never wore a ring — and have always been equally devoted to my wife. I just don’t like any form of jewelry. No one has ever questioned my decision not to wear a ring, or commented on it. Apparently, people respect this very personal decision or mine.
On the other hand, I get lots of comments regarding my facial hair — which seems to be fair game for admiration and/or derision, even from total strangers.
Don’t why this distinction exists, but it does.
I never wore jewelry until marriage and from then on wore a wedding ring. A a sports injury made my finger swell up and the ring had to be cut off.
After a few weeks my wife asked me to get the ring fixed. It plainly bothered her. It was no hardship for me to wear the ring so we had it fixed.
No one owns or dominates the other. We care for each other. If wearing a ring brings peace of mind then there is no reason to be stubborn about it.
Rings are dangerous. Wearing them is forbidden in many industrial and military work sites.
He flies airplanes. Wearing a ring could cost him a finger, if that ring ever hung up on something. I didn’t wear one until I was retired from the Air Force at age 52.
Regards — Cliff
I don’t wear a ring because it was an invitation to lose a finger in the early years of my working life. After narrowly avoiding an “exciting” interaction with a live antenna feed, I also stopped using metal watch bands. Not wearing jewelry became an ingrained habit.
I do, however, make a point of wearing my ring on special occasions.
Married and have never, except for the ceremony, worn a ring. But I never wear any jewlery. Lost the watch the day I got a cell phone.
But I may consider a Dick Tracy watch if it could used in place my phone.
I’m reserving the three minutes after the clock strikes 3:15 on the second Tuesday of next week to ponder this IMPORTANT question.
I wore my wedding ring for a few years. It bothered me, and I never did get used to it.
Then one day I noticed my new colleague Dan only had three fingers on his left hand, and a faint scar from the exceptional reconstructive surgery he received. He had snagged his ring jumping out of the bed of a pickup and ripped his finger off and the tendons out of his forearm with it.
No more rings of any kind for me after that. It still gives me the shivers.
For the first 12 years of marriage I wore a ring but over the years my finger outgrew the ring and I never got around to having it resized. I’ve become used to not wearing it as it got in the way at the gym, playing sports or using tools around the house. We will be celebrating our 2oth anniversary this year so it’s not an issue.
PS I once heard a statistic that the number 1 cause of workplace finger amputation was wedding rings getting caught in machinery.
I agree JohnO. I was always catching mine on things and I offered to my wife to have one tatooed on if that would help. But I can’t stand to wear a watch let alone a ring because they’re always in the way.
Limiting discussion to modern Western culture, why is keeping one’s patronym a sign of liberation for women? No woman chose her father, the man who provided her last name. A married woman, on the other hand, did choose her husband. By taking his name, she is asserting an allegiance forged in her own choice. By shedding her patronym, she leaves behind a paternal stamp and asserts her own volition. The name change is, in that sense, as much a verdict as a symbol.
I believe that my daughters choose to have me as their father. Every. Single. Day.
And I choose to have them. With every ounce of love.
Been there, done that. Shortly after we got married my wife decided she no longer felt like changing her name, because it was a ‘pain.’ So I decided to stop wearing my ring, because that too was a pain (honestly so, I have never worn any jewelry and it felt uncomfortable).
Sixteen years of marriage later both decisions remain mild sore points, but it’s been a good 16 years other wise.
In the end, there are more important things in life.
Dr. Helen,
My British wife informs me that it used to be, in England, that only Catholic men wore wedding rings. Given the institutionalized prejudice against Catholics (Tony Blair could not have been PM had he converted before he retired), perhaps Prince William is taking a “Defender of the Faith” decision on wedding rings?
My husband and I don’t wear our wedding bands because we lost them and they’re too expensive to replace. Also my band itched.
Tried for a year but the ring drove me nuts. Wife was mad for a year then got over it. What I find now in my forties is that I receive less attention from other women than my friends with rings do. My best guess is that I look like an unmarried 40 something and therefore there must be something wrong with me. Suits me just fine!
I don’t wear a ring (don’t wear any jewelry actually) and have been happily married for 13 years. Although we did have a belter of an argument last night!
If William decides to be a cad, a wedding ring won’t stop him. As someone in the article above said, it’s not as though we, and he, don’t know he is married. Everyone picks their own symbols. Some Christians wear crosses, some don’t. Some of us wear rings, some of us don’t. I wonder sometimes if it isn’t less about feminism or cultural norms or commentary than it is about how comfortable people really are about letting people make their own choices. We like people to do what we do, I suspect, because it reinforces us on some level. It reassures us that we are “right”. If people do things or say things or believe things that are different (especially if they are happy or successful in their lives), that might mean that we are (gasp) wrong – or that there might be more than one true path (mine, of course). That can be threatening to many.
sniff….sniff… is someone burning a Koran… or a flag…. or a cross…?
Other than giving us yet another example of the decadence of the “royals”, is there some reason this drivel is being discussed?
Seems like a bit of a storm in a teacup to me. My dad has never worn a ring – just not a jewelry type. And my best friend’s husband lost his on honeymoon ten years ago and they never got round to replacing it. Since these are two of the most uxorious men I’ve ever met I’m not sure it makes any difference. In the end what is in your heart matters more than what is on your finger.
I guess in as far it has a purpose the ring signals to your wife and other women that you are married. But William is a unique case; pretty much everybody on the planet will know he is married so he scarcely needs to inform anyone.
I always thought that wearing a ring was a way of showing that you were “off the market”
Since he is probably going to have the most public wedding since his parents’- I can’t see any reason why he should wear one.
I hate jewelry and don’t look forward to having to wear one myself.
No ring. For the most practical of reasons…it interferes with flying a helicopter.
I agree with you Dr. Helen. I don’t understand the uproar. I appreciate the symbolism of the wedding ring, but the ring itself is no talisman. My husband and I both have rings and neither one of us wears it all the time. If we go out, we generally put them on. But around the house, neither one of us wears them. When I’m pregnant I almost never wear mine. And so what? It doesn’t make us more or less married. It is definitely a personal decision. If Kate is good with it, why should anyone else care?
Seems simple. She takes my name, I wear the ring. No name? No ring.
My Dad is a mechanic, and he avoid jewelry, and I can see that, but other than that, there is no real reason to not wear the ring. And, there is no reason to not take the husbands name, with the possible but personally unlikely reason that the wife needs it professionally. Both acts are signs of commitment to the marriage. Seems simple, no?
Rick
He should wear a ring, as should his wife. In practical terms, a ring tells new acquantances that the person wearing it is not sexually available. The new acquaintance knows immediately to relate to the ringed person in that manner and not, you know, in that other manner.
Ring-wearing also helps to distinguish and elevate married persons over single persons, which is only right.
Married people are embarked on a fundamentally more serious and adult project, taking another person fully and permanently into one’s care. The two groups should present themselves to the world differently.
I do wear a ring. This one in fact: http://www.titaniumrings.com/product/ring/139303/15 I kinda love it.
But I’d much rather we husbands practice fidelity towards our wives, though, than get too concerned about whether we’re wearing the outward symbols of fidelity. Same for women, really.
We live in a culture where the object is more important to people than what the object symbolizes. Completely backwards.
Thanks so much for that link to titaniumrings.com! Neither my husband nor I had any experience wearing rings before we had our wedding bands made, so they turned out too big. (I wish I had known in advance that the flesh of one’s finger shrinks underneath a ring worn habitually!) During our first year of marriage, each of us had a “lost ring scare” — no fun at all. I’m thinking titanium anniversary rings, made to the proper size this time, are the way to go.
That said, the commenters above who mentioned lost/amputated fingers from accidents involving wedding rings have a very good point indeed. Perhaps the safest wedding ring is one that’s tattooed on.
I wear mine, because I feel as though I won the lottery when I married my wife, and, well, I am essentially bragging about it. It’s almost like I’m wearing an “Ask Me About My Wife” bumper sticker. But that’s just me.
Men’s rings are heavy and I don’t like the tightness around my finger. Maybe I could get used to a ring after a long time. I do a lot of typing. I don’t wear jewelery anyway. I wouldn’t mind a ‘wedding watch’. It isn’t about the ‘commitment’ or tradition or liberation. It is simply uncomfortable, flashy, and inconvenient. When you wash your hands as many of us who work with their hands or work on mechanical things or outdoor things do all day, do you take it off? What if you lose it? Then does your wife hate you? If moisture get under the ring it would be a problem. Too tight and it irritates. Too lose and you worry it will come off. I am not a ring person.
Years after his moon landing, Neil Armstrong’s wedding ring got caught on something and pulled the skin off his finger. So for active men, a ring can be a danger. I wear one because I am happy to let the world know I am taken. Who knows how many women would be putting the moves on me if they thought I was single!
I’m not married, so I don’t wear a ring (obviously), but if I get married, I plan on wearing one. Not only that, I would be deeply offended and more than a little suspicious if my spouse did not wear a ring as well. Of course, that may be the way I was brought up–all the men in my family have worn wedding rings. I have one friend who is married but doesn’t wear a ring, and I still think it’s strange.
I wear one. Would prefer not to. My lovely wife (who did take my last name) would be heartbroken if I decided not to wear one (especially now, after having worn one for the first 10 years of our marriage).
I’d rather not break me sweet wife’s heart over something that means more to her than it does to me. I think a lot of marriage is like that.
Robbie:
Your wife is a lucky woman.
When we got married we had no money so I decided to forgo the engagement diamond. Stupid expense when you don’t have two nickels to rub together.
My husband wanted a ring so I worked hard to buy him one. It was way more expensive than mine (men’s rings have more gold) but it meant so much to me that he wanted the world to know we were married that I would almost have robbed a bank to get the money.
Personally I hate rings, but wore one b/c it’s a visible reminder of the promises I made to him. Last year I accidentally put the diamond anniversary band he bought me on our 25th and my wedding ring down the garbage disposal.
Guess which ring I cried over? Hint: it wasn’t the diamond anniversary ring. Do you know, that plain little $29 wedding band survived? And it only cost me a few hundred dollars to get it out of my broken disposal. It’s on my finger now – scratches and all – and will be so long as I have breath in my body.
As for Prince William, that’s between him and his bride but I agree with you that marriage is about compromises.
It’s different with William. Everyone in the western world including all the women in the western world will know he is a married man.
An ordinary man who refuses a ring and won’t wear it when safety permits, simply doesn’t want other women to know he is married, doesn’t want to be identified as married.
Women keep their names as much, and I would say more often, even principally, to maintain established professional identities preventing confusion among clients and colleagues, as to make some symbolic gesture at being “their own person”.
Odds are he’ll be cheating on her in a couple of years anyway, so I don’t see what the fuss is about.
My personal preferences are
(1) for the wife to take her husband’s name (though keep her ‘maiden’ name for professional purposes if she is professionally established).
(2) for men to not wear a wedding ring.
These are just that. Personal preferences.
In our family, my wife publishes under her maiden name, but socially we are the Holmwoods. And I wear a wedding ring, because she wanted me to.
While I don’t think either a man or a woman should be a serf to his/her spouse, I think that doing something that will make your spouse unhappy right at the outset of marriage is probably a bad idea.
That said, it’s no one else’s business but the couple’s.
To be clear: these are personal private choices, and my personal preferences (for a wife to take her husband’s name socially) should not be indicated as any disparagement whatsoever of Helen Smith. I think she and her husband are smart, clever, and funny, and lucky to have one another.
Regards
-Holmwood
My husband wears a wedding ring and I took his name. I don’t always wear my wedding ring as I am not into jewellry and I bang the engagement ring around on my computer keyboard. We are both comfortable with this, although my husband regrets purchasing these expensive items as he would have preferred to save the money since I don’t wear them. Is he hurt by my choice? He hasn’t said so and if he was, I would wear the ring.
Wearing a ring can be the cause of extreme pain or the cause of amputation of the finger in my line of work.
There are millions of Americans who are at risk.
Whether to wear a ring is surely William’s choice, but in the words of the ceremony when I was married: “The ring is an outward and visible symbol of an inward and spiritual grace.” It’s just a symbol, but symbols often are very important.
Been married nearly 30 years (yes, to the same woman); wore a ring the first 15 years. Then I started playing the piano and built up the muscles in my fingers. Since I also have rather more extensive plica interdigitalis than usual, wearing a ring became impossible, there being no convenient indentation between the webbing and the muscle.
My mother rarely wore her ring for similar reasons (pianist, violist); my wife, also a pianist, finds she has to take her rings off regularly.
So there are certainly practical as well as symbolic reasons not to wear rings.
I know several personal friends that have never worn a ring, but have also (to my knowledge) never been the kind to engage in hanky panky. They just didn’t want to wear a ring. And I’ve known at least one coworker that DID wear a ring, but would take it off in certain social situations.
So, there’s no protection there, really unless the ring is ill-fitting and leaves a mark.
Personally as soon as I saw you could put colored stones in a man’s ring I was psyched. My wife and I designed our rings to have a strip of green garnets and a diamond in them and I’ve worn that ring every day since we were married.
Besides, the chicks dig it…
A wedding ring is a symbol of love but not at all necessary. One of its main purposes, though, is to show that one has been claimed by a mate in marriage. Is there anyone on earth who isn’t going to know Prince William is married? For that purpose it’s completely unnecessary and for the former purpose completely personal. I suspect his future wife knows how he feels.
Please tell me why I should care about the antics of any British royal. Oliver Cromwell had the right idea.
I’m married and I don’t wear a ring. Rings are dangerous to fingers in many professions and I don’t like wearing them. My wife knows I’m married to her and I don’t fool around with other women, so what’s the big deal? It’s just jewelry.
I do not wear a wedding ring. I never wear any jewelry except for a watch. Rings are inconvenient. Whenever I wash my hands, it gets wet under the ring so I must dry both. After awhile, I put it into my pocket and forget to put it back on.
I am married and I don’t mess around. What else do I need to prove my marriage? At work, no one knows who my wife is. No other woman has propositioned me, which could be sexual harrassment. Besides, a ring proves nothing especially faithfulness these days. A ring is merely symbolism of tradition that is done during a wedding ceremony and it can be tucked away like a marriage certificate and the white wedding gown.
Forgive me for getting cliche, but:
“Turnabout is fair play.”
“What is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.”
Having demanded, in the name of all women, the privilege of forgoing any symbolism of marital status, feminists have no standing to complain if any or all men choose to reciprocate.
“men are now seen as indentured servants who exist to serve women’s needs and desires.”
Yup. I lost the ring a few years ago.
I always thought that the main reason for wearing a wedding ring is to quietly but publicly indicate that you are off the market and unavailable for a personal relationship with someone else. It reinforces monogamy, and it helps avoid social embarrassment of those people who might otherwise demonstrate a personal interest in someone else who they don’t know is married. Therefore, I would have to agree with the comment that we all know William is getting married, so what’s the difference?
My father never wore a wedding ring because most of his life he did work which made wearing rings dangerous. My husband has never worn a wedding ring because he just doesn’t wear jewelry of any kind. I guess I’ve never thought of it as an abnormal thing.
It’s a personal choice. As the “person on the street” pointed out, the press has made sure everyone on the plant knows he’s getting married; he’s not Nigel from Tyneside who likes to run around on his wife during business trips to London, where no one will recognize him. Everyone will know he’s married, and if he does plan to step out on Kate, the ring won’t be stopping him.
You don’t mention Kate’s view on the matter (if it’s even known), but perhaps she should recommend that if he doesn’t like jewelry, he can get a ring tattooed on his finger.
Yes, I wear a wedding ring. Then again, my wife did take my name, so perhaps I’m not a good example here.
I’d be interested in hearing Prince William’s reasons, should he choose to share them. (Obviously, he’s not obligated to anybody to do so, with the possible exception of his bride.)
Though it is certainly is his right for all the reasons listed to not wear the ring, it’s lame. I wear mine because I’m proud to say I’m married and let the while world know. It’s too bad too many men don’t feel the same way.
I don’t wear a ring. First, because of a small accident that caused my finger to swell; second because the symbolism seems, to me, to obscure real love.
A couple years ago, I jammed my ring finger while fly fishing. The finger was too swollen to accommodate my ring for a couple months so I went without. Now that the finger is back to size I still don’t put the ring on except for certain occasions (I’m no longer wearing a wrist watch, either).
Now, I find it that some of my wife’s friends sneer at my bare finger, as if without the symbolism there can’t possibly be true love. But I’m now thinking the opposite. The symbolism is almost a false idol, meant to convey a public message of an emotional condition that may or may not actually exist, obscuring real love. The fact that my wife and I are in deep love with each other is actually quite evident to friends and strangers, alike.
BTW, my wife wears her ring in the same manner I do: to compliment formal or semi-formal occasions as ornamental jewelry.
I think it’s fine for William not to wear a ring, if Kate Middleton is fine with it. If Kate isn’t fine with it, then Kate shouldn’t marry William because that’s a pretty fundamental disagreement to take into a marriage. There are only going to be two people in this marriage, even if one of them is the future King of England. This is their personal choice, and no one else’s business.
Has a wedding band ever been credited for saving a marriage?
I’ve been married 25 years, and don’t wear a wedding band. The reason is simple. I can’t stand having anything on my hands – not even a wristwatch.
In the eyes of this generation, Kate is likely to be seen, and treated as the new ‘Lady Di’.
I doubt that Billy’s decision is rooted in keeping ‘his options’ open. He’s a good kid.
Besides, the entire world would know about any extra-marital activities by the following sunrise.
Along with the subsequent humiliation, he’d be so despised by all of humanity that even Charlie Sheen wouldn’t take his phone calls.
I have been married for 14 years and have worn my ring for a total of about 1 day.
I don’t like stuff hanging off me or on my fingers. I told my wife before we married that I would not be wearing it. She understood that I found it annoying and never made an issue out of it, like a sensible person.
Much to do about nothing.
“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. ”
Eleanor Roosevelt
I’ve never worn a wedding ring in 30 years of marriage. I work with various high energy machines and a ring is one more thing to get snagged and contribute to the loss of a finger (or worse). If wearing a ring is an issue, then the relationship has problems a ring won’t solve.
I was raised in an area of the country dominated by manufacturing jobs. When I was young (the mid 60s and 70s) I knew very few married men who wore wedding rings- they were prohibited on the job because they could cause lost fingers in work accidents. My father owned a wedding band but kept it in a box with his tie tacks and cufflinks, etc., because he couldn’t wear it at work. For a long time, you could tell the economic status of a local man by whether or not he wore his wedding band- lawyers, accountants and other office-type professionals were the ones who always wore them.
I don’t wear a wedding ring, and my wife couldn’t care less (or, if she does, she conceals it very well). We’ve been married over 7 years.
Interestingly, the people that seem most concerned about our choice (and it is “ours”) are her friends. I’ve overheard countless times women telling her they would “never permit” their husbands not to wear a ring. Which, to my thinking, pretty much sums it up.
In the religious ceremony I was married in, the ring is placed on my hand by my wife. If I am buried first, she removes it. As far as I am concerned it stays on (there or on a chain if it’s unsafe for a task) until she does.
I think he just wants to be able to hide the fact that he’s married, to make it easier to pick up women in bars.
You may be right, but in his case he’ll probably have to also wear a good-quality disguise. Or maybe not, depending on what kind of woman he’s looking for.
When I got married I got a titanium ring. It is extremely lightweight, isn’t flashy, and I don’t even know I have it on most of the time. It doesn’t signify servitude, but it does signify that I am committed to my wife, and if that makes her happy, it makes me happy.
Married 28 years; never liked to wear jewelry – don’t even wear a watch. I wore my ring sometimes when we were first married and then it was lost in a move (I say it was with her things, she says it was with mine…) Never replaced it. I made her stop wearing her rings for a number of years when she worked in a hospital and had to remove them regularly for procedures etc. After almost losing them twice I told her she had to leave them at home. The commitment to the spouse is either there or it isn’t and as far as I have seen, a ring does not mean that someone is honoring that commitment.
I don’t wear a ring because I find it somewhat uncomfortable. I can see the appeal of having an outward signal of marital status, but it’s not enough for me to start wearing a ring. Also, neither my father nor my father-in-law wear rings, so it wasn’t a break with our family traditions.
However, I disagree with Shortwave that the decision to not wear a ring is equivalent to not changing names after getting married. Obviously, there are some similarities, but for me at least, my name is part of my identity, whereas a ring is just a piece of jewelry.
First it’s the wedding ring. Next he won’t want to wear that crown because it keeps falling off when he dances. What’s the world coming to?
I’ve always worn one while married (the current one is almost 9 years old), and I DO look askance at married men who don’t.
Seriously, though: A wedding ring isn’t just a signal to people a man encounters. It’s a reminder to himself. A glance at that ring at any time of the day or night, alone or in company, ought remind the man wearing it of his moral and emotional and legal commitments to his spouse and, if he has them, his children. I’ve never met a man who couldn’t stand reminding of those commitments from time to time.
I wore mine every day I was married, all the time.
A very good response. I agree.
I used to wear one, but I developed a phobia over time about getting something stuck behind my knuckle (which has slightly swollen since I got the ring). So, I just stopped wearing it. I never gave it much thought until a rather gorgeous lady started hitting on me at a social event, not too long ago. Not that I minded very much!
No reason for women or men to wear them if they don’t want to. It’s a piece of jewelry, and has zero meaning outside of what each person ascribes to it. My mom wore hers, and still does, after my dad’s death. My dad never wore one and he was just as married as my mom was.
On the subject of the British Royals, it’s hard to think of anything on or off of this Earth that I care less about.
My wife and I have been together for 28 years. I wear my ring out of habit except when working with machinery. Like others have pointed out, a ring can be dangerous around machinery or high voltage.
My wife is a nurse. When she worked on the hospital floor or in a medical office doing procedures, she never wore her ring because it was a hassle. Nurses wash their hands dozens of times a day and are continually putting on and removing latex gloves. A ring not only makes it harder to put on latex gloves, it could put a hole in them. Now that she’s working in an office environment, she wears her ring more often.
It’s a personal matter between the bride and groom, and none of anyone else’s business.
I am a former military helicopter crew chief. Helicopter crews must preflight and climb all over the helicopter and rings are dangerous things to the wearer. Entire fingers have been torn off by the ring catching on something. It a pain to have to remove the ring before climbing on the aircraft, better to not wear one, than forget to take it off. Prince William is a Helicopter Pilot. I think its a smart move.
William is the future King of England which includes the title “Defender of the Faith”, i.e., the Church of England and in those capacities he has some responsibilities that should override personal preferences. Lest we forget, marriage is a religious rite. Rings are exchanged and then not worn? Symbolism is very potent. I do not understand this rigid interpretation of “slavery” with ring wearing. That is a very negative take on something that is supposed to be symbolic of the circle of family and life, the infinity of love, our inclusion in the universe created by God, and much, much more. William should set an example. British society is falling to pieces. Wear the bloody ring.
But the traditional Church of England wedding vows has no “exchange” of rings. The Book of Common Prayer ceremony only has the groom give the bride a ring, not vice versa.
For the Prince and Kate, when they marry, everyone they interact with will know they are married. If the purpose of a wedding ring is to indicated “taken” so as to stave off unwanted advances, then the rings for them are redundant. The Prince can wear one or not, and Kate can wear one or not. However, if the Prince chooses not to wear one, and if Kate were to decide to stop wearing hers and the Prince didn’t like it, then that would be unfair. I don’t agree that the wearing of rings and the name taking issue are all that similar. We all know women who kept their X’s last name, even when they didn’t have kids, but quickly reset their engagement diamond into a pendent from their defunct ring. To me this indicates that names are not the same as rings.
I did not take my husband’s name when we were married for career reasons. I wasn’t trying to make a feminist statement, it was just that I had established myself in my career with a certain name and I would have lost that “branding” if I had changed my name. My husband was a little disappointed at first. He was worried about our future family (kids) not having the same last name as both of their parents. I half jokingly suggested he take my name to solve his concern, as his name was not yet branded in his career. He didn’t and the issue was dropped and has not been a problem since. We are both practicing Christians (Mormon) in a very traditional community, so at church I just roll with the assumption by others that my last name is my husband’s name. Actually, it’s kind of fun having an alias.
While professionally I kept my maiden name, I do wear my wedding ring every day to indicate to others that I am married and unavailable. My husband does the same, and I appreciate that. We are now both far enough in our careers that there is a high chance of flirtation from employees who might want to climb the ladder by climbing into bed. I’m not sure whether or not wearing our wedding rings discourages this, but we hope it does.
As Tam said: “If George Washington knew you were Tweeting about the British royal wedding, he’d snatch the iPhone from your hand and kick your ass.”
My dear hubby and I have been married 32 years. I took his name, he wore a ring until after the honeymoon then work made it unsafe. For years, he would wear it if we went out or were on vacation. But it doesn’t fit now. We could have it resized but that would mess up the inscription on the inside so I just keep it in my jewelry box.
Besides, as he says, a metal ring isn’t necessary because of the invisible one in his nose.*
*For those of you who are not familiar with animal husbandry, a very large metal ring is inserted in a bull’s nose to give the farmer a convenient handhold by which he could lead the bull and ensure it’s co-operation. You don’t see them as often as you once did do to the invention of electric cattle prods.
Why not take the man at his word? He said he is not wearing a ring due to the pinch hazards of his job on a rescue helicopter. Have you never seen a sign such as this http://www.mysafetysign.com/UA/Remove-Jewelry-Watches-Sign/SKU-S-7241.aspx ? Is the problem that in this day and age most critics work in offices and do not use their hands to do physically demanding tasks? Would you risk losing a finger?
I’m male and happen to despise male jewelry. I also do a lot of hands on electrical and machine work, where if you happen to like all ten of your digits it’s advisable not to wear rings (or bracelets, watches, necklaces, or to have long hair.) While spending the last twenty years as a Soldier I even found wearing dog-tags to be an annoyance and ditched them whenever possible. I’d also add that when I was first married I could barely afford to pay the rent, so throwing away money on a ring for myself was definitely out of the question. My wife has later lamented the fact that I don’t wear a ring, so I offered to have one tattooed on my finger, even though I also despise tattoos. Fortunately she dislikes tattoos as well and my ring finger remains ‘liberated’ (and still attached) to this day.
I wear the ring not to remind me of any responsibilities or duties. When I notice it there on my finger, it reminds me the most wonderful woman in the world amazingly enough loves me back and gave me this ring to symbolize it, and never fails to brighten my day.
I have a friend who is a police officer who doesn’t wear a traditional wedding ring because she doesn’t want to break her finger while trying to subdue a suspect. So she has a wedding ring tattooed on her ring finger instead. Now that’s commitment.
Here is an explicit recommendation to not wear a ring to avoid “finger, hand and wrist injuries” http://www.tdi.state.tx.us/pubs/videoresource/t5fingerhandinj.pdf
“Remove any jewelry such as necklaces, rings, ear rings, and wristwatches. Jewelry should not be worn within an arm’s length of rotating or operating machinery, tools, or electrical switch areas.”
My brother-in-law, a dentist, wore his ring all the time–until he jumped off a wooden float into the lake and caught the ring on a nail on the way down. He didn’t lose his finger, though it sure looked like he might, but he never wore the ring again.
I only wear my ring when I’m out. At home it just gets in the way, plus it gets dirty, sometimes VERY dirty. And who really cares.
I vote for “whatever they decide.”
I actually started the “tradition” of wearing a male “engagement” ring, only because my fiancee and I were separated in different countries while she studied abroad, and it was a way of saying I was committed. She never asked me to wear it. . .I just wanted to.
I also thought wearing a ring was going to be uncomfortable, but after a week or so, I didn’t even notice it anymore. Its called “comfort fit” for a reason!
Also, I started off deliberately with a pretty small 3mm wide ring, thinking it would be most comfortable. After a while, I wanted a nice appearance, so I gradually moved up to my current ring, which is an 8mm wide stainless steel band. Turns out that a thin wide flat ring is actually more comfortable than a narrower one, since it doesn’t move around as much.
Yup. . .stainless steel. I’ve got a nice gold band. . .but why bang it up every day? Most observers think my ring is platinum or white gold, but stainless is more scratch resistant, easily polished to a mirror finish with stainless polish, and best of all only cost $6!
I thought wearing a wedding was against wearing one, because I thought it would be uncomfortable.
The US Coast Guard barred all rings, including wedding rings, for anyone aboard operational units after a boat crew member got hung up on a hoist hook. He was lifted several feet in the air and the finger was de-gloved when gravity took over. Picture that.
Even before the ban, my husband stopped wearing his wedding ring at sea. It was a flat style with sharp edges; it invariably caught on hatches and gouged his skin out. He persisted only because he thought I would get upset if he took it off. I was more concerned about the repeated injury to the finger, and bought a heavier, rounded band for his off-duty time.
I am attached to my own wedding rings, though. It was a $250 deal from Best Buy (back when they sold jewelry) and it was all we could afford at the time. It’s pretty and I get many compliments on it, even though the diamond is small. My husband offered to buy a “better” ring a few years ago, but I refused. After nearly 25 years of marriage, that ring represents all that we have achieved together.
Shortly after marriage my ring shorted the primary(+)feed from a car battery where it attached to the starter solenoid. With a brilliant arc, the ring instantly spot-welded itself to the main and secondary posts. That would have been bad enough but the ring was tight and I was now part of a direct short of a 700 amp 12 volt battery. It had never occured to me before that day that low voltage can be real menace, but the huge current pouring across the ring caused it to instantly glow red – because of heat expansion, I now could pull my finger out, but the burns were awful. Its been a long time and I still wear my band always, but I remove it before working on any project. Custom is fine, but safety is first.
I am an American–it’s more common here for men to wear wedding rings, I think. However, my uncle Michael, who was a veddy upper-class Brit, did not wear a wedding ring, nor did any of his male relatives. They all wore signet rings on the little fingers of their left hands.
Although Michael wore no wedding ring, he and my aunt Jo managed to stay mnarried to each other their whole lives long.
Prince William should do whatever he pleases.
The exchange of rings, in the Sarum Rite and the Roman and Germanic traditions, is an exchange of sureties accepted to seal an agreement. The woman wears it as a symbol of having received her brideprice, and the man as having received the bride’s dowry; if one is worn and not the other, it’s a symbol of how the contractual arrangements worked out. Arrhae (sp?) could also be coins (which come up in the betrothal section of the Sarum Rite), knives, or other valuables. So the grace part is that, by making marriage a Sacrament, an ordinary covenant becomes a covenant with God.
But yes, it’s perfectly normal for a helicopter pilot not to want to wear a ring, and doesn’t distress me. Safety first, especially since the prince obviously doesn’t need a dowry from the Middletons, and he’s served his time for Kate like Jacob for Rachel.
“Is this decision different than a wife that does not take her husband’s last name?”
Ahh, modern women.
Nothing illustrates the independent female who resists the oppressive traditional patriarchy like refusing to adopt her husband’s last name by ………. keeping her father’s last name.
I doubt Prince William will have any of the (valid) health and safety issues raised here to worry about.
I’m not even married and I wear two rings constantly. A cheap Russian triple wedding ring on the ring finger of the right hand, a gold band on the second finger of the left. Both have great sentimental value, and are rarely taken off. But that’s me.
He can wear one or not – it’s between them.
And Russ – ouch!
I cannot believe l have heard this day after day and no one mentions the accidents caused by rings on people who operate or use any kind of machinery. I think most would think their husband would like to keep all of his fingers. I cannot imagine that a ring keeps a husband more faithful!!!!!
Ah, and now I see you have many readers with a wider experience than on four t v networks. Not a word there about safety!!!
I stopped wearing one for safety reasons. In my business there are alot of areas where a ring could hang and cause a finger to be ripped off.
My husband has a wedding ring that we used for the ceremony. But he doesn’t wear it. He hates jewelry and hates pajamas. Everyone knows he is married cause he talks about me glowingly all the time. It is no biggie to me. I know where he sleeps at night, and what he is up to in the day. I don’t need him to wear a ring as a symbol of trust or love. His actions speaks “married” daily. However “I” am a jewelry fanatic, and a designer. He got me 3 rings, one has diamonds that I wear all the time. The other two are in rose gold and yellow gold I can wear interchangeably when I feel like it.
I’m married and behave that way, with no ring. If I wore one, by now, I’d be short a finger on my left hand. Rotating machinery, wrenches, handrails, etc. are not kind to ring bearers.
OTOH, I know some men who make a display of their band; a completely meaningless display. They act as if they’re single while wearing the ting.
It’s attitude, not the ring that makes the marriage.
I am not married but I think that whatever tradition may say if Prince William’s decision to not wear a wedding ring is ok with his spouse, then that is what should count. Maybe if he took up some public position on marriage, etc. and pushed the issue, then maybe wearing a ring despite his preferences might be called for, otherwise it is a matter between him and his spouse.
Naturally personal safety is important but that is an external matter to this interpersonal decision between him and his spouse. I doubt that most any spouse would prefer that their loved one risk being maimed, in situations where it is a significant risk, just for the show of committment.
I wonder if William’s not wearing a ring may not tie in with his eventually being Sovereign. A ring on a man indicates the wife’s his equal, and a Sovereign by definition has no equal. It would be silly if that were the case, but when has that ever stopped anyone?
I have large knuckles and any ring that goes over them is loose on my fingers. Almost lost my ring finger on a lathe before I was married when a cheap ring was torn off. My wife understands. It is not just at work but working on lawn equipment, car doors, hand rails, around the house. Rings can be dangerous.
This guy is going to be the king, right?
It doesn’t matter if it’s okay with his spouse (if she doesn’t like it, she can go marry someone who isn’t king and ride him:)). It doesn’t matter if the subjects like it.
You don’t vote for king and if kings don’t get to choose what jewelry they will or won’t wear, then they’re not kings at all.
An if even a king can’t choose, we’re all screwed.
For me, it was merely a matter of family tradition. None of the men in my family – my father, grandfather, or uncle – wore a wedding ring.
If my wife insisted on it, or even expressed a preference, I would don one. But she hasn’t. So the tradition, and convenience, lives on.
I never wore jewelry before I was married. I gave away my High School ring to a college sweetheart who abandoned me 2 months later. Never got it back and didn’t miss it.
I wore my wedding ring for 6 months and then told my wife that it bothered me and asked if I could quit wearing it. She reluctantly agreed.
She’s been dusting the jewelry box that it sits in for 44 years.
“An ordinary man who refuses a ring and won’t wear it when safety permits, simply doesn’t want other women to know he is married, doesn’t want to be identified as married.”
In PJ O’Rourke’s book “Modern Manners,” he humorously discussed how to dress like a rich man (because “being rich is always polite”), mostly according to the New England WASP tradition. Regarding jewelry, he observed that the only acceptable jewelry for a man is a tasteful, thin, gold watch (never digital, and even a second hand is questionable because “the very rich neither know nor care /exactly/ what time it is.”)
He observed that a wedding band may be acceptable, but if you’ve been wearing one for years, not to stop wearing it because the tan line would make it look like you’re out cheating on your wife for the evening. Which all led up to the line that the above poster’s quote reminded me of, and which renders this whole kerfuffle a non-issue:
“If you’re rich enough, women don’t care if you’re married.”
I do wear a wedding ring except when my hand swells; it is concave on the back and cuts into my fingers, so at those times it goes onto my desk.
My husband does not wear a wedding ring. He works with dangerous electronic equipment on a daily basis, so would have to take it off at work; he is also absent-minded by nature, so he has a problem remembering to put it back on, and has lost several. I give him a hard time about it, but I really don’t care. I know he is completely faithful to me, as I am to him.
Some professions are not good ones for men to wear a wedding ring. I remember noticing my ex father in law didn’t wear his wedding ring. When I asked him, he said that he was working on a Ford Truck engine (he was a Ford Truck mechanic) one day and his wedding ring made contact with electric current from the truck engine, burning his ring finger all the way down to the bone. From that day on he never wore his wedding ring at any time. Can’t say I blamed him.
Prince William is entitled not to wear a ring. Some people just can’t handle rings. Will it make him ‘less married’? No! And with his work safety precautions are necessary. My husband wears his wedding ring (20 years) but I stopped wearing mine about 12 years ago when I was pregnant and my fingers swelled. Now I can’t get rings back on. It is the inward committment not that outward adornment that matters. God bless.
I hate jewelry. My watch is a dive watch with a flexible plastic band. I wore a ring for years at my wife’s request (she bought it for me), but I never liked it. After many years of marriage, I took up golf, & had to take it off & risk loss when I played or practiced, so I took it off permanently and survived the grumbling. Now the only time I wear it is if I have to appear before a jury.
The only opinion that matters in this is Kate Middleton’s. The most famous married couple in decades probably won’t need rings to demonstrate their commitment to each other. This is just more tabloid garbage by the people who are the best in the business at it.
Good luck and God Bless Will and Kate. Rings or no, I hope they will find some happiness together.
Why don’t they make the museum monarchy actually live in a museum and have cameras on them 24/7 like “Big Brother”?
I’ve never understood the fascination with the royal dullards or why people like pictures of them getting in cars and getting out of cars, walking into buildings and walking out of buildings.
They don’t even have pictures of them on the beach cuz the sun would make boils appear on their semi-transparent shoulders immediately and then the guy who takes out their pisspots and wheels them about on dolly’s would have his work cut out for him.
They only seem to die by violence so I’m sure there is some secret of immortality that is passed to any outsiders who marry into this extended family of stuttering vampires.
You’d better get all the pix of Kate Middleton on yachts you can cuz once she’s married she’ll take on the aspect of a frog like Lovecraft’s characters in Arkham and she’ll be shuttled about on gurneys with an IV in her arm and will disappear into Balmoral never to be seen again.
Except by ‘groundskeepers’ meant to service her while her husband in hypnotized by Camilla, Queen of Darkness, who is 483 years old. There’s a reason people don’t walk around Buckingham Palace at night.
It’s rumored the Queen personally oversaw the construction of Stonehenge which she posed for. This is attested to by the Royal official biographer Sheridan Le Fanu, also later known as Bram Stoker and now buzzing about as Anne Rice.
After the wedding, will there a woman in the world who will not know he is married?
Does any woman that he is likely to meet, not know he is engaged now?
Does anyone give a rat’s rump?
It really isn’t anyone’s business but Will and Kates as to how they go about presenting themselves a a royal married couple.
Personally, I could have cared less about the ‘ring’ and I refused to have a ‘wedding’ my mother couldn’t afford and my future in-laws would have paid for but I’d have felt forever indebted to them for something I’m not even keen on (‘weddings’ that is).
25 years together and we hardly wear our wedding rings because after a certain amount of time together, you don’t need a ‘wedding’ ring to make it obvious that you’re ‘together’. lol
My husband wears his wedding ring more than I do. I also have lost a significant amount of weight since we got married and the ring falls off my finger. But then again I have had swelling when pregnant so I may not wear a resized ring if it is too small. I am also prone to weird weight fluctuations and hate the idea of resizing only to resize again. I also work out and take the ring off (at home chin up bar) and sometimes forget to put it back on.
I also bake a lot due to multiple severe food allergies of three members of my family and the dough gets stuck under my ring. Also, I bake for gluten free people too so cross contamination from wheat under my ring to another food would be very bad.
I have made good faith efforts to wear the ring. I even started wearing my mother’s wedding ring because it is smaller. Unfortunately unlike my plain smooth gold ring this one has diamonds the have scratched my babies. The sharpness is also the reason why I don’t wear my engagement ring. When I got engaged I had a somewhat stressful job and I have a nervous thing where I wring my hands without thinking. I would come home with cuts on my hands and not know where they were coming from. Turns out it was the engagement ring. No doubt the diamond wedding ring would probably be problematic.
So more often than not I don’t wear my ring. It used to bother my husband but after losing my ring in the office for 2 weeks (finally found on the floor after turning the place upside down!) and then almost vacuuming up my ring when it fell off again… I think he kind of sees my dilemma. So I try on special nonstressful occasions to wear sometimes using my sharp engagement ring to hold it in place.
Men, would you make your wife wear a ring? There seems to be a double standard out there with wives wearing rings while many men are off the hook.
Oh, and I hate wearing rings. Especially when I play musical instruments. Urgh!
I also hyphenated my name after we married. Kept my maiden name for professional reasons and because my parents only had girls, no boys to carry my father’s name directly from him. I could at least keep it for a little longer. But I made a decision to still have my husband’s name too. Still my in-laws gave me a hard time by not addressing me as my hyphenated last name even though my husband corrected them many times.. For years! Years!
i have never worn a wedding ring, over 20 years my good wife wears hers for me. my physical work will not allow any jewelry. William, good on ya mate, keep Male, no shiney things.
The prince is a reservist and an emergency chopper pilot. In both cases you need to remove rings for safeties sake. Many in those fields, including many women, don’t wear wedding rings. Ever tried to get one off in a hurry?
If he wears a ring, will that make our lives better?
The 1662 Book of Common Prayer of the Church of England (still the official Prayerbook of the Church of England) does not include the double-ring ceremony. In later revisions of that book, all unofficial as Parliament has not ratified any of them) it is still a single-ring ceremony. At the discretion of the parties involved, and with the blessing of the Archbishop of Canterbury, a double-ring ceremony can be performed.
Double-ring ceremonies came out of Protestant Churches in the United States, and are not universally accepted.
In the Russian Orthodox Church, a ring is given (and received) by both parties.
http://www.archive.org/stream/ServiceBookOfHolyOrthodoxChurchByHapgood/Service_Book_Orthodox_Church_Hapgood_djvu.txt
It would appear that Prince William and his wife-to-be are simply following the tradition of the Church of England. Therefore, it is not for us to criticize them.
I’m a monarchist—though Charles is definitely testing my principles here!—and a woman married to a really non-jewellery man, who’s worn a ring—much fancier than mine—for the nearly four decades of our marriage. Neither my dad nor my grandfathers wore a wedding ring. I approve of wedding rings for women.
And whatever William wants to do about this is just fine with me, though who cares what I think? It’s entirely his and Kate’s business and I wish them every blessing.
My husband kept his wedding ring on his keychain during his working career; he only put it on his finger when getting dressed up for special occasions and it didn’t bother me in the least. At that, a few years after we got married we had “everyday” plain gold wedding bands made and the nice ones rarely made an appearance henceforth. Sometimes I pull out my fancy ring and wear it on a neck chain as it’s a little too tight to go on my fat finger but it seems a shame not to show off the really nice gemstone on it.
We’ve been married 34 years–I wear a ring and my husband does not. It has never once bothered me. His dad did not wear one, and my dad didn’t either. What’s the big deal????
I don’t wear a ring and my husband does. I guess that makes me a hardcore psycho feminist women’s libber?
LOL. Sassy woman! Love it.
I was going to say something unkind, but upon reflection, I decided to limit my unkindness to the following:
It appears that the infusion of blood from the Spencer line has indeed improved the breed of the Hanoverian house Battenburg. Young William seems to be a fine young man, of even notable character, and he has the advantage of resembling his mother, rather than the inbred buffoon that is his genetic father.
Regarding the House Battenburg (lately changed to “Windsor” when Britain went to war with Eddie’s cousin Willi, on account of the huge upswell in England of anti German sentiment following the destruction of the BEF in the 1915 Battle of the Marne), I have always reserved the greatest dislike of these Germans, but especially I detest George III, whom my ancestors fought and defeated in the last quarter of the 18th century to found a republic on these shores.
As far as the wedding ring controversy, I am altogether neutral.
Given what lousy husbands the brit Royals have been, perhaps is it appropriate that they not wear any such token of an institution they treat as a matter of proper and expected form, not of substance. At least they still get married. I presume.
I will find something better to do on this day, I looked forward to seeing the wedding ,but once I heard that William is refusing to wear the ring, I am not Interested in viewing.