Sex, Sex, and More Sex
[Listen to Burt's reading of this column.]
For a long time, people have observed that when Republican politicians get mixed up in scandals, they tend to involve money, whereas with Democrats, scandals usually involve sex. As with most generalizations, this one tends to be true. Of course there are any number of exceptions to the rule, but the latest example isn’t one of them. L.A.’s liberal Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, recently separated from his wife of over 20 years, has acknowledged that he and TV reporter Mirthala Salinas are indeed an item.
I’ve never met the mayor, but, frankly, his admission merely confirms my longtime suspicions. The way I look at it, when a married guy in his mid-50s is as obviously concerned with how he looks as Villaraigosa is, I just naturally assume he’s chasing young women.
The question some people would ask is whether a politician’s personal code of morality should matter to his constituents. Being a right-winger, I’m honest enough to admit that I am far more willing to give a conservative the benefit of the doubt. However, there are bigger questions to consider. For instance: What the heck are the French going to say?
Allow me to explain: Back when Bill Clinton was leaving his mark on history by leaving his mark on Monica Lewinsky’s dress, one of the most aggravating aspects of the tawdry affair was having our great nation being patronized by the European media. As usual, the snidest commentary came to us courtesy of the French.
They were like 80 million cats lapping up cream. Our alleged lack of sophistication is like food and drink to them. They couldn’t stop snickering over our bourgeois value system. After all, their premier had a mistress. Only people as backward as Americans would make a fuss over something so natural. All the while, the French ignored the fact that Clinton had committed perjury, which many of us took far more seriously than whether he had cheated on Hillary.
But, much as I hate doing it, I’m afraid I have to admit that, for once, the French weren’t entirely off base. While I regard Clinton as a national albatross for a variety of reasons, quite aside from his having sex with a young intern, I happen to think that where sex is concerned, Americans are, by and large, childish and embarrassing.
Sometimes, I swear, people are so daffy when it comes to things even slightly sexual that I almost feel like donning a beret, lighting up a stinky cigarette, and snorting through my nose.
I’ll mention just a few things, and you decide whether or not we’re a nation of goofballs. First, there’s the fact that Paris Hilton, a woman of rather ordinary looks and no discernible talent, became famous simply because a video of her having sex with some shmoe became public property.
Next, there’s the annual swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated. Every week, the magazine is jam-packed with extremely well-written articles dealing with the world of athletics. Then, once a year, they devote a cover and a few pages to photos of pretty girls modeling bikinis, and you get the idea that the end of the world is nigh.
Now keep in mind that Playboy has been displaying even prettier girls in and out of bikinis for about 50 years. Still, every summer, as predictably as the swallows returning to Capistrano, you can count on pundits endlessly kicking the topic around in newspapers and on talk shows. What’s more, if I could collect 25 cents for every Sunday sermon in which some minister pondered whether this marked the end of Western civilization, I could run out and buy a new car.
At least the women in Sports Illustrated are gorgeous and voluptuous. They are, after all, hired specifically for their good looks. But a few years ago, we were all witness to something that should have served as a wake-up call. A woman’s soccer team had just won a big match. One of the star players, Brandi Chastain, celebrated the victory by pulling off her blouse and running around the field. If you recall, she wasn’t naked. She was wearing a sports bra, which in the world of lingerie is comparable to your grandmother’s bloomers. What’s more, Ms. Chastain, a fine soccer player and probably a very nice person, is as flat as an ironing board. But the way that America carried on, you’d have thought that the woman had pulled a Lady Godiva and gone riding nude, at high noon, through the center of Times Square.
Why, you ask, is this so important? Because it behooves us all not to supply the French with artillery with which they can mock us. Which, when you get right down to it, is the only sort of artillery the French ever actually use.
Television writer Burt Prelutsky is the author of %%AMAZON=1581825714 ‘Conservatives Are From Mars, Liberals Are From San Francisco (101 Reasons Why I’m Happy I Left the Left)’%%
So the wives or husbands that are cheated on and betrayed have to sit at home, alone, as the crowds are allowed to continue applauding the immoral pol?
Seems like an encouragement from the establishment for pols to be slimey to me.
Screw the French:
What they call “sophistication” I call “sleaze”.
Their value system allowed them to be eating Duck l’Orange, while complaining we wanted to send starving Africans GM rice.
Sure, “their premier had a mistress.” But what kind of prermier was he? Lousy. We shouldn’t look to the French for guidance on anything.
They’re crazy.
if the mayor would betray his wife whom he pledged fidelity to, what of his constituents?
The fact that the “mayor” is only concerned about amnesty for his fellow gang members and the rest of his pals who view our country like a cheap slut is reason enough for me to think that he’s scum. Stop trying to cloud the issues with your “holier than thou” meaningless sex issues.
It seems to me that a person that was voted into such an important position would have more respect for his Office and us the Voters, if not for his Family.
It is a shame that this person could not control his sexual compulsions.
I guess it is important that we finally know that he is a liar and a cheat..and, not in control of himself..
I would like to see him resign…since he obviously is unable to keep his mind on the job for which he was hired.
It seems to me that a person that was voted into such an important position would have more respect for his Office and us the Voters, if not for his Family.
It is a shame that the Mayor is the kind of person who could not control his sexual compulsions.
I guess it is important that we finally know that he is a liar and a cheat..and, not in control of himself..
I would like to see him resign…since he obviously is unable to keep his mind on the job for which he was hired.
Perhaps this explains why he has been so ineffectual..
It seems to me that a person that was voted into such an important position would have more respect for his Office and us the Voters, if not for his Family.
It is a shame that the Mayor is the kind of person who could not control his sexual compulsions.
I guess it is important that we finally know that he is a liar and a cheat..and, not in control of himself..
I would like to see him resign…since he obviously is unable to keep his mind on the job for which he was hired.
Perhaps this explains why he has been so ineffectual..
Yeah, Burt. Maybe Americans can copy sexual attitudes from the French. Then we can stop having babies, too.
Europe is dying, Burt.
“25 cents for every Sunday sermon”? Pardon me, but I seriously doubt that you have heard a Sunday sermon lately. It’s not about the sex.
Clintonian era all over again. And you can wonder why Democrats have no morals…..even in the Hispanic world that prides themselves on Catholocism/Christianity.
The Hispanics that live in my area are no different. I have first hand experience with these sex-mongerers. They treat their women like shit too.!
When a public figure hides a private embarassment, such as this, they leave themselves open to blackmail.
Clinton, for ex, was willing to risk his presidency by impeaching himself under oath – pretty heavy stuff – so what else was he willing to do? It’s not like the foreign intel services of the world were either unaware of his Gennifer-Flowers proclivities or that they’d be shy about exploiting them.
Does this mean Clinton caved to blackmail? Who knows, and he’s innocent till proven guilty and that’s a very good thing and let’s keep it that way, but you just gotta know that the bad guys must have *tried* to turn him a few times, just as other bad guys probably tried to garner a few favors from Mr. V.
That seems reason enough for all of us to have an opinion on the matter. I’m sure the crack investigative reporters of the LAT are checking into this right now (cue crickets chirping).
Ross Perot said he would fire any married man cheating on his wife.
“If he wife can’t trust him, who can?”
French politicians are extremely corrupt eg. Rwanda, Clearstream.
They make ours look positively clean.
A man is as good as his word. There is only one promise we make in life, (if we are lucky), that is so important, so solemn, that we make it verbally, in front of witnesses, often in a church. If any man cannot be trusted to keep this most sacred of vows, he cannot be trusted with anything else.
Yes, the French are so sophisticated, a full 42% of them know the Moon, not the Sun, revolves around the Earth.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhlERjW0bhw
“What’s more, Ms. Chastain, a fine soccer player and probably a very nice person, is as flat as an ironing board.”
I like many men happen to like women who are supple and athletic.
Since everywhere you look are images of women with huge honkin’ hooters the “sports bra moment” practically made history for guys like me.
Imagine if the situation were reversed: let’s say most guys liked ‘em small and perky, so everywhere you look there’s the runners and yoga teachers and dancers* and gymnasts getting in all the men’s magazines.
Then one day some heifer on “The Price Is Right” rips off her mumu in bovine celebration when she’s called down to play and guys like you suddenly get an eyeful of her double-E 18-hour support infrastructure.
Booya, or whatever you guys say when that happens.
* Ladies: anorexia = NOT SEXY! Not only is a visible ribcage a real downer, girls who are too skinny give off the psycho vibe. Be fit!
“When Republican politicians get mixed up in scandals, they tend to involve money, whereas with Democrats, scandals usually involve sex.”
And I thought it was the other way around.
I suppose someone must be buying the magazines and newspapers that love Hilton and the sex scandals, but I never hear them mentioned. I have to wonder how much both the sexual preoccupation and our supposed fury at sexual preoccupation are media-driven. I suspect if we could get a handle on it, the sexual angle would turn out to matter to a few people a whole lot, and to most people only a little. Most people here seem more concerned about the dishonesty.
Newt? Delay? Burton? Rudy? Livingston? It’s just that Republicans are hypocrites when it comes to sex. Democrats don’t care – which is fine, because it’s just sex. Plus, if we removed everyone from office for legal sexual indiscrestions, we wouldn’t have very many office holders left.
Plus, if we removed everyone from office for legal sexual indiscrestions, we wouldn’t have very many office holders left.
That sounds like a good idea to me.