Republicans Kind of Suck … Which Is Why They Will Win Huge in November
This election season has been hard on pundits. The Democrats are going to get massacred in November, and it’s really obvious to pretty much everyone exactly why — which makes writing political commentary like trying to come up with a long-winded explanation for why two plus two equals four.
Here’s my attempt.
Doesn’t it suck when you have a dog that barks all night? Everyone hates that. It’s annoying. It can even drive you pretty crazy if it goes on long enough. People hate that.
Know what also sucks? A zombie apocalypse. That’s when society collapses due to some spreading zombie virus, and most of your friends and family are dead, and you have to scrounge for food to survive while the walking dead threaten you around every corner. People also hate that.
So, we’re all agreed that a barking dog and a zombie apocalypse both suck. Everyone following so far?
Now let’s look at what led us to the political situation we’re in. During the second term of the Bush presidency people just got fed up with Republicans. They were idiots, they were no good at the whole fiscal conservatism thing (which is sort of the whole point of them), we had these wars that seemed to be going nowhere, and the economy was beginning to fail. They sucked, and people were sick and tired of them.
Thus people turned to the Democrats. And Obama.
Let’s just say they also sucked.
AMERICANS: “So, the economy is pretty bad and there’s high employment. You think you can do something about that?”
DEMOCRATS AND OBAMA: “We can spend a trillion dollars we don’t have on pork and stuff.”
AMERICANS: “No … that’s not what we want. We’d really like you not to do that.”
DEMOCRATS: “You’re stupid. We’re doing it anyway.”
AMERICANS: “That’s not going to help us get jobs!”
DEMOCRATS: “Sure it will; millions of them … though they may be invisible. You’ll have to trust us they exist. And guess what else we’ll do: We’ll create a giant new government program to take over health care.”
AMERICANS: “That has nothing to do with jobs!”
DEMOCRATS: “We don’t care about that anymore. We really want a giant new health care program. We’re sure you’ll love it.”
AMERICANS: “Don’t pass that bill. You hear me? Absolutely do not pass that bill.”
DEMOCRATS: “Believe me; you’ll love it. It has … well, I don’t know what exactly is in the bill, but we’re sure it’s great.”
AMERICANS: “Listen to me: DO. NOT. PASS. THAT. BILL.”
DEMOCRATS: “You’re not the boss of me! We’re doing it anyway!”
AMERICANS: “Look what you did! Now the economy is way worse, we’re even deeper in debt, and we have a bunch of new laws we don’t want!”
DEMOCRATS: “You’re racist.”
AMERICANS: “Wha … How is that racist?”
DEMOCRATS: “Now you’re getting violent! Stop being violent and racist, you ignorant hillbillies! And remember to vote Democrat in November.”
So the Democrats sucked. But not just plain old, usual politician sucked, but epic levels of suck where it’s hard to find an analogue in human history that conveys the same level of suckitude. It was sheer incompetence plus arrogance — and those things do not complement each other well. We’re talking sucking that distorts time and space like a black hole.
It’s Godzilla-smashing-through-a-city level of suck — but a really patronizing Godzilla who says you’re just too stupid and hateful to see all the buildings he’s saved or created as he smashes everything apart. Or, to use Obama’s favorite analogy, you have a car stuck in ditch, so you call the mechanic, but the only tool he brings with him is a sledgehammer. And then he smashes your car to pieces and charges you $100,000 for his service. Finally, he calls you racist for complaining. Obama and the Democrats have been so awful, it’s hard for the human brain to even comprehend.
But the Democrats will counter that the Republicans also suck. And while this is true, it’s not really going to help them. As I pointed out before, both a dog incessantly barking and a zombie apocalypse are things that everyone would agree suck. Yet no one during a zombie apocalypse, while hiding out in a boarded up mall, would turn to the other survivors and say, “We don’t want to kill all the zombies; then we’d have to go back to being woken up at night by that annoying dog next door.” But this is the best argument the Democrats can come up with. “Remember how awful the Republicans and Bush were? You hated them. You don’t want to go back to that.” Yes, why would people want to go back to when 6% unemployment was considered high?
People do remember how much the Republicans suck, and they know where it tops out … and that is nowhere near as bad as the Democrats are today. Like with the barking dog, it’s annoying, but you know it’s not going to cause the collapse of civilization as we know it. Not so with the zombie apocalypse; who knows how bad that could get if left to continue? Same with the Democrats and Obama; people have never dealt with anything this horrible their entire lives, and they aren’t that curious to see how much worse it can be.
So the Republicans kinda suck, and that’s why they’re going to win huge this November. Because in the land of epic, mega, ultra, apocalyptic levels of sucking, those who kinda suck are king. Or at least are going to win in a landslide.
Because once the zombie apocalypse is over, the annoying neighbor dog is going to be music to your ears.
For a little while, at least.
And as for Barokeydoke Hubris Obozo’s own personal brand of suckitude,it isn’t even a function of race or ethnicity….the white half of him has produced just as much suckage as his white half has.
errr..that is to say the white half of him as produced as much suckage as the black half…guess I was having a Chris Tingle moment there and ‘forgot he was black’
You have to remember, when you disagreed with Obama’s Black half you were a racist. When you disagreed with his White half you were a Nazi. They threw in Homophobic for free.
Remember that we (all of us) were not born chaste. We were hastened into this world by unloving parents, and saddled with original sin or, what I like to call: “Guilt, until proven Liberal”. Nobody in our society ever really feels accepted, acceptable, cool, hip, down-wit-it, etc, until we pay our dues with some conspicuous, token, deed/gesture of kindness/generosity/patronization toward a sanctioned liberal “cause celebre”. And among all of the adjectives in my prior sentence “Conspicuous” is the most important. Becausse if you haven’t boasted about your dutiful thoughts/deeds via some rooftop, bellfry, blog, school newspaper, play, screenplay, PSA then you haven’t arrived. Being worthy of an invite to a Madison Avenue (or Pennsylvania Avenue) cocktail party is all we are supposed to strive for in life. To hell with traditional values. Just so long as George Clooney or Barack Obama can see my name listed in a Playbill, movie trailer or invite list is all that matters in the world.
Right on!
I have NEVER replied to any commentary; however, your comments were
obviously the prose of a true wordsmith. True enjoyment was sightreading
your symphony of soul.
THX!
-DP
What he said.
Marry me.
Wins the thread.
“So the Republicans kinda suck, and that’s why they’re going to win huge this November. Because in the land of epic, mega, ultra, apocalyptic levels of sucking, those who kinda suck are king. Or at least are going to win in a landslide.”
So this is the choice we have? Pick between those who suck and those who don’t suck as much? Humor aside, I think America deserves much better than that.
Which is why the Tea Parties are so very important. They want to make sure all the Tea Party candidates do what they actually SAY they will do. So far, the Tea Party candidates have stuck with the Republican Party. But if they get elected and the Republican Party elites in Washington don’t get it, if they decide it’s business as usual and they’ll become RINOs or, worse, a light version of Democrats, then there really will be a call for a Third Party to be formed. I hope this doesn’t happen, but both parties may be too far gone to be saved. There will be a landslide, but let’s see what the Republicans do with it.
You’re absolutely right, we DO deserve better. But “you fight with the army you have, rather than the one you want.” Frank is absolutely right, they merely suck least. But now they are on notice, and they had better listen this time.
Sometimes we just have to vote for the “least bad” candidate. It is our responsibility to choose. Oh, and by the way, getting involved in local politics to make sure palatable candidates are on the menu is also not a bad thing to do….
Working hard for victories through November is important. Putting pressure on our officials in a full court press that lasts through 2012 is even more important. But first we’ve got to go through this election.
Even 2012 won’t be the end. We cannot let things get this bad ever again, and that’s going to take an engaged electorate and a lot of work.
I agree!! totally.
..in fact, any republican/conservative/independent that goes against what they campaigned for should have to spend a couple of hours in the company of Megan McCain, that’ll teach ‘em not to lie to us!!
I’d rather be water boarded.
New title: He who sucks least, sucks best. Whatcha think?
Milo, that works, but can one say it in fornt of the children (or democrats)? ;D
LOL! Forcing them to listen to MeeeeCain? That’ll do it; brilliant!
ALL Republicans don’t suck. The ones that suck are the RINOS aka Liberal-Lite. We must pay attention and only chose the Constitutional Conservative Republicans. The big issue is that most people only look at the Party affiliation instead of the belief system. Bush Jr and Sr were good examples of that. They were BIG government presidents that had more in common with Clinton and Obama than they ever did with the likes of Reagan or our Founders. We the People have the responsibility to do our homework and make sure that we don’t just vote for a Republican bc they claim to be a Republican. We must hold them accountable and make sure that they are tried and true Constitutional Conservatives.
The best way to understand how and why this nation was founded and what we are and are not id to read and study. When the citizens understand that we are NOT a democracy they will understand just how this nation was expected to be run and that our elected officials were never meant to be lifelong politicians. We were founded as a Republic (Republican form of Government) and not a Democracy. A Democracy would fall to Anarchy quickly because everything would fall to the hands of the people and the nation would fall apart faster than the Left has been pushing it towards the brink. Read Conservative Victory by Sean Hannity and read all books that Beck has out as well as The Patriots History of the United States and you will be able to vote for a true Constitutional Conservative and we will boot all RINOS out of power and out of the Party, however if the Republicans fail then the Constitutional Party and the Conservative Party will end up joining as one and become the Constitutional Conservative Party of the Republic of the United States and the Republicans will be no more. That party will end up being the revival (sort of) of the Federalist Party. Either way we will soon have the power to relight the candles of Liberty and chase the Marxists out of Washington and off of Main Street USA. The biggest mistake we made was to ever allow the Communists, Marxists, and Socialists etc to be legally allowed in the United States. During the first half of the 20th they were blacklisted and jailed or chased out and that needs to happen again.
One last thing, if you are not a citizen here you have no Constitutional rights so these “Human Rights” groups need to take a big leap into deep water. We have the duty and the right to protect our borders using any method we see fit. We aren’t just keeping illegal’s out by doing so but we will cripple the drug trade and save many children. It is long past time to teach our children that Patriotism is an American condition that should be spread to protect against the Left handed viruses of the world. They should be taught that we were and are a Judeo-Christian Nation and no matter how many religions come to practice here we will remain as such. The “Freedom of Religion” was put in the Constitution so that the multiple denominations of Christ could coexist together (i.e. Puritans, Episcopalians etc) instead of literally fighting mini Holy Wars with each other. In MA there were many put to death because they were not the correct denomination and they were looked at as heretics. This was never meant to allow religions such as Muslims, Buddhists etc to come here and decide that we had to change to fit with them. This is after all our nation founded by our forefathers and their only requirement that they had for any who wanted to come here was assimilation to the American way of life. My people come from the Blackfoot Tribe (50%) and the other half were Scottish/Irish stock and have been here since the 1500′s. We have a dark history is some areas but we have provided a light in the word of darkness by adhering to God’s word and by providing a place of Liberty made by many people to become one. God Bless America and God Bless the Conservative revolution!
Much as what you have said might be maligned by the ‘atheist right’, in fact you are exactly correct. The ONLY thing that will save the Republic is intelligent understanding and adherence to the Constitution as it was originally intended. This is not difficult; it doesn’t take a lawyer, a SCOTUS justice, or a soi-disant ‘Constitutional scholar’ to figure it out (usually incorrectly). The Founders clearly intended each voter to demand that their legislators and executives follow the Constitution completely. Anyone who claims to honor the Constitution, but does not acknowledge that, e.g., Social Security is grossly unConstitutional, is, at best, the lesser of two evils; really a part of the problem at root.
We keep hearing how Social Security is broken; how shall we fix it? The discussion we should be having instead is what is the best way to shut down Social Security, Medicare, the federal portion of welfare, HUD, the Dept of Education, the EPA, and every other unConstitutional federal thingie. They’re going to shut down, one way or another; if nothing else, the Feds will try to print-money their way out of not having enough to pay the SS/Medicare bills. You know what happens then. So let’s decide now: do we pay everyone a standard 10 cents on the dollar? Do we age and/or means adjust the payout? But whatever we do, let’s shut it down. The Federal Gov’t is not accorded the power to run a mandatory disability/medical/retirement program according to the Constitution. Get Rid Of It.
Funny how ppl cling to our constitution so tightly. Ever consider the real context when it was written and by whom? How about the bible for that matter? Anyhow, perhaps the constitution might be worth updating. Another interesting point is how the worst Republican preidents have been considered “just like democrats”. Nice try. If you want America to be a better place, make more money and contribute more (taxes) or join the army. Besides, how can anyone be expected to understand the issues by sitting on a couch watching Fox news?
Islam despite what you are led to believe, is not a religion
as much as it is a totalitarian political party designed to rule over all others through Sharia law. The religious face that is shown is the outwardly
peaceable aspect of Islam used to ensnare followers who ultimately are
required to die for Alla through Jihad. View it as a religion, at your peril.
Have you taken a look at christianity. Hundreds of million have died in the name of christ and all were doing the lord’s work from the Crusades to George “God told me to Run” Bush from hundreds of millions have been ensaved or overun in the name of the good book. Compare the histories and Islam is slightly less bloody and a tad less crazy than the book of Mormon or scientology
No comparison. The central tenants of Christianity are love and forgiveness. The central tenants of Islam are blind obedience and submission. Even an agnostic such as myself understands that simple difference which differentiates a faith based on the best of humanity and a faith based on the worst of humanity.
Have an Evil day
Frank…Great writing and funny stuff! Dead right too.
Bob….you are a liar.
Bob you are full of Suckitude!
Go back to Trolling on WoW you loser.
The Crusades were in response to Islam’s aggressive expansion into Christian territory. If the Muslims hadn’t been so “all yer holy cities are belong to us!”, the crusades would never have occurred.
Bob,
“Hundreds of millions”. Just a little bit of an exaggeration there. Give it a break. As far as I can tell, about the worst “Christianity” has ever done was the 40 or so million the Catholic Church killed protecting their domain from protesting Christians (Protestants) and those killed in the Crusades, which wasn’t nearly as many as the 150 million or so killed by Atheists of one sort or another, much in the twentieth century. And consider that the various attrocities that may have been done in the name of Christ were NOT in obedience to His teachings, but were in fact contrary to His teachings. So don’t pin those on Him.
I’m sorry; I despise L Ron Hubbard and his ludicrous religion, but I don’t remember any piles of corpses associated with Scientology. For the record, I did some medical training directly accross the street from world Scientology headquarters.
Hint: we go through tedious airport screenings because of the adherents of what ideology? (Not Christianity, Scientology, Hinduism, Buddhism, Sikhism, Judaism or Jainism.) The majority of rapes in Sweden are committed by members of which ideology? What major ideology condones marrying 9 year olds to adult men? What ideology routinely murders teenage girls “for honor?” Which ideology was responsible for the grotesquely maimed teenage girl on the cover of Newsweek (or Time—I forget, but you know the one).
So, Bob, while Christianity WAS responsible for a lot of awful stuff in the past (I’m a Jew, I KNOW), which ideology is causing the most mischief today? Hint: it’s not the Archbishop of Canterbury’s Church, or even the RC?
Amen!
You two must subscribe to the Hufpo version of history.
I guess Hitler, Mao, Stalin, Mugabe, Kim Jong Il et al. must not count for anything. There are truly evil people on the planet that must be dealt with. Some people only respond to in-kind force after years of “talks”. The Catholic church and it’s policies have been futile and have mostly enslaved people too, but that is not a defense of other evils done “in the name of….”. Have you even the read the Book of Mormon – cover to cover? Please do and tell me where defending an individuals right to exist and to uphold God-given liberties is wrong? You will find out who’s really on God’s side someday, but for now, we feeble humans do the best we can and call out evil when/where it exists.
Please stop arguing w/ moral relativism. Please do fly to Iran and set up shop and see how long you last with your “western ideals” if you dare.
Well, YOU might deserve better. Maybe I do, too, if I may be so bold.
But if AMERICA, collectively, deserved better we’d HAVE better to choose from. The fact is, we don’t.
That’s what sucks about collectivism, even in the sense of a representative democracy. It brings out the lowest and the worst, and rewards them at the expense of the few who merely wish they weren’t along for the ugly ride.
That may be the most terrifying tea party testimonial I have ever seen.
If we did not have the Tea Party working for us,I would have given up on America by now. What Americans want: No more pork, stand behind what you campaign for, get rid of this sham they call healthcare, send all the Congressmen and Senators who took bribes from Pelosi to jail (and her with them), pay attention to the Constitution. We deserve an ethical government that works for us-not one funded by George Soros.He has already bought the press too. Doesn’t sound like he has bought the author of this piece yet.
This is why the Tea Partiers aim, for them most part, to take back the republican party.
The mechanics of electoral politics is incredibly daunting, unless you are a rich person it is very hard to make any headway against the big blob.
If TR couldn’t win as a bull moose, I don’t think anybody else has a much better chance. The Greens, the Right-to-Lifers, the Commies, the Conservatives, the Libertarians have all been at this for years. Where have they gotten, any of them? No where. In some states, like NY, they have some influence at the ballot box and can point to margins of victory and say “see the pro-lifers won that election for you” or “The Working Family (communist-lite) party won that for you” but they are saying it to a Republican or Democrat governor or whatever.
This November (basically next week folks), The Republican Party, the Nation, this is the short list of things to do.
After the elections and the glad hands and the congratulations are given, when the ‘new’ Republican faces are seated in January everything will return to normal.
Nothing will change, only the faces. Extravangant programs will be extended, obamacare will not be repealed only made worse. Another 200,000 federal employees hired at outlandish wages and benefits. People will still have their hands out for freebies. Corporations will be looking for special favors and Washington will be back to its obnoxious, arrogant, elitist self, once again.
Bill, for all of our sakes I hope not. I became a Tea party activist because my fathers generation put the government on cruise control and ignored it. They forgot the key aspect of democracy is there must be a informed, educated and ACTIVE electorate. We are just now starting to re-find our voice. This will be the first generation of conservative activists sent to Washington. This movement will only falter if we falter. This is my government, I have a say, a voice and I will use them. I will not be silent.
Burger
I doubt if ANYONE could have just said it better than you did. Thanks for the boost in morale.
Spot on! I think it’s interesting to note, too, that our parents’ generation was the ME generation – totally self-absorbed, too much so to care about any consequences to their actions. Thank goodness our rising generation (or at least those of us not totally brainwashed by the progressive public education system) is finally getting INVOLVED!
Agree with everything you said, but want to remind folks that we have to do more than that. If we want a smaller federal government we have to mean it. And that means starting to be as interested in State and local government as we are in the goings on in DC. It means seizing back those local governments from the almost total lock Democrats have had for a century in most places. Do that and while we push DC to give up power the States can be active in pulling it back.
The #1 goal must be to seize the local School Boards. Get the schools teaching proper[1] Civics again as a required course and every year the balance of power swings back toward Freedom as each graduating class registers to vote.
Get the cities and other local governments to stop agitating for a Federal handout every week and start competing to see which area will be the largest job magnet by slashing regulation and taxes. Get a solid block of States to mount a credible threat of a Constitutional Convention if the Feds don’t get on the cluetrain.
And we aren’t even really thinking in this way yet. You will know when it happens though. When you realize you are spending more time watching local news, reading local blogs, etc. and less Rush, Fox and well, sites like this one, it will have happened. The sort of local infrastructure to make such a future possible is starting to exist around some of the Tea Party groups but we need more.
And most of all,
Democrat Delenda Est
[1] By ‘proper’ I mean study the Constitution as intended, a document written with the goal of being readable by average Citizens with a basic education and and a mind to govern themselves and not as the Holy ‘e plub neista’ from a bad Star Trek episode that can only be read and understood by the Most Learned and Holy Justices who act as Lawgivers.
Your name isn’t Bill Scantlen, it’s Cassandra.
Nothing will change, only the faces.
Not if the spectacle of the Democrats being beaten down is big enough, because that fate will be what awaits the Republicans the next election cycle if they fall back into stupid mode. Also, there is the presence now of more notable conservative blogs that will begin to loudly beat the drums when the Republicans begin to drift to the left.
Either way, this is likely the Republicans’ last chance to prove they’re actually an opposition party. If they fail, they’re done. At the very least, I’ll be done with them, and I suspect a lot of others will feel that way as well.
The ability to articulate so clearly and concisely is a hallmark of good conservative thinkers.
Well said, BIll!
Perhaps so. Indeed, I have little doubt they’ll try. But I think they’ll be less successful this time. Perhaps it would be more accurate to say I hope this is so, but, honestly, I really do see something different this cycle.
One of the things I find hardest to credit, amongst our left leaning brethren, is that they really do seem to believe that the Tea Party thing is Astroturf. I do not. To me, it seems obvious: they don’t have a leader, or a coherent platform, or even a single national national group with local chapters. The Tea Party hasn’t been “organized” by anybody, or anything. Most of them seem to believe in a small and inoffensive government, low taxation rates, a sound fiscal policy and constitutional purity, but even that much is not completely certain; and different groups seem to find one or more of these more important than the others. Aside from that they are all over the map, a few on the left and right, but mostly center, so much so it is easier to say what the Tea party is not: Astrofurf.
I see, rather, the tip of the iceberg, the first raindrop in a deluge. This has been building a long time, since Wilson and the turn of the previous century, in fact. My mom warned me about it, back when I was a teenie (53 as I write, and yes, I thought she was crazy because we young folks had it all figured out and were gonna make it all bluebirds and lemonade).
This is the America that Nixon called the Silent Majority. This is the America that voted for JFK, a Democrat who won on a military (un)preparedness platform, and whose most famous line extols self sacrifice in favor of the Union; and the fact they knew he listed to port a bit– a Kennedy, for Pete’s sake– didn’t bother them, because he spoke of freedom and greatness and an equality that actually meant “same thing for everyone.” This is the America whom, regardless of faith or lack of, really does believe in religious freedom and are outraged that a woman who, in these hard times, dared thumbtack a note on her church bulletin board looking for a roommate of her own faith, and is now in legal trouble with her own government about it. They don’t care what faith she is, they’re angry she can’t try to practice it without running aground on extremist politics. This is the America that understands the trouble with extremist politics, regardless of cause, is that their reasoning is so circular they can’t get out of their own way.
And I don’t think that America is going to go away on the 3rd day of November. I think that America is going to keep watching. You wanna see a wave election? Consider what will happen in ’12 if the Republicans win in November, and then fail to convince the country that they have some workable ideas and are really trying, in an honest bipartisan manner, to make something happen.
I also have to stress that this is going to be a long war. Even if everything the conservatives hope for– fiscal discipline, sound policy, reining in the runaway special interest carve-outs– happens in November, even then, we will not have won the battle. We will, at most, have won a chance to keep fighting, for there is a very great deal of long-term damage presently enshrined in US statutory law.
And so I repeat my opening: perhaps it will be politics as usual in the 112th, and I am sure they will try, to see if they can get away with it– they *are* politicians. Also, in fact, a certain amount is inevitable, more from inertia than volition. Our government is to big to reform overnight, that’s what I meant about it being a long war above. But I do think there will be less of it. Because the America I was talking about– us, you and me, the vast, 80% majority of We, the People who are not marginalized by identity politics– that America is sick and tired of being sick and tired about this, and we are seriously considering fixing it.
I also hope there will be less of it, because if there’s not, the consequences look to be messy.
After the elections and the glad hands and the congratulations are given, when the ‘new’ Republican faces are seated in January everything will return to normal.
Nothing will change, only the faces. Extravagant programs will be extended, obamacare will not be repealed only made worse. Another 200,000 federal employees hired at outlandish wages and benefits. People will still have their hands out for freebies. Corporations will be looking for special favors and Washington will be back to its obnoxious, arrogant, elitist self, once again.
Are you deef? Read what the guy up above just said one more time! Sheesh!
“Bill, for all of our sakes I hope not. I became a Tea party activist because my fathers generation put the government on cruise control and ignored it. They forgot the key aspect of democracy is there must be a informed, educated and ACTIVE electorate. We are just now starting to re-find our voice. This will be the first generation of conservative activists sent to Washington. This movement will only falter if we falter. This is my government, I have a say, a voice and I will use them. I will not be silent.”
He double-posted. It’s slightly annoying but it’s not an extremely uncommon mistake. The first post was at 5:12 AM and the second was at 5:14 AM. I would not call him “deef” for not reading what the guy posted at 7:54 AM before he made the second post. Although if he could have, I want him to get in touch with me about the quotes in the Wall Street Journal a week from tomorrow.
Back to Frank Fleming’s column – it’s brilliant, absolutely brilliant!
I see this problem more as an invasion of the body snatchers. Liberalism is so extended that even the GOP is rife with Liberals. Let me give you one example: a few turbaned retards smash airplanes on buildings killing 3,000 people. Republican reaction to the problem: “Let’s create a gigantic new administration called Homeland Security and get billions of dollars in debt while being politically correct and bugging the hell out of every businessman and grandma that decides to take a plane.”
Not so surprinsingly, after 8 years of THAT, not one job was created, the country is deeper in debt and we have handed the idiot left the power to destroy the few things that were still standing.
This choosing between bad and worse is getting a bit boring. Why don’t we propose in the style of Don Corleone and make them an offer they can refuse?
If the GOP fails to be conservative after the elections, let us get rid of both parties in the same manner that we got rid of King George the Pigheaded and his pigheaded Parliament that would not listen to reason.
Actually the Transportation Security Agency was created. Unionized. Union jobs. TSA stands for “Thousands Standing Around”.
So your argument that not one job was created is false. Aside from being irrelevant. The TSA was not created to creat jobs. It was created to save lives. How many aircraft have been hijacked since creation of TSA?
Crickets chirping…..
None.
Yes, we got lucky. A flying Dutchman put out one bomber. Other passengers shut down the shoe bomber.
That you have to lie and mislead to make an argument against GW Bush and his administration means that his administration was pretty darned good.
But Catino’s larger point is valid. The truth of independent facts that the TSA exists and that no planes have been successfully hijacked since 9/11 does not require or even imply correlation. The truth is that had there been a TSA operating under then-existing screening rules the hijackers still would have got on the planes, since the non-TSA screeners didn’t do anything wrong.” TSA screening failures are the stuff of legend, and while they didn’t stop the underwear bomber they did manage to confiscate the shitty little “knife” from my $10 manicure set.
How many bombing/hijacking attempts have been thwarted by the harassment/4th Amendment violations at the airport “security” checkpoints?
That is the real cricket chirp question.
Damn, I needed that!
There will be conversations for months about how to discipline the emergent Republican majorities after they’ve been given power. That’s all to the good, and the more sharp minds are at work on it, the better off we’ll be. But first and foremost, expel the SewerCrats from power. Don’t dwell just yet on how the last set of Republican majorities were sorta sucky. First flush the sewage out of the halls of Congress — and do a thorough job. Well-disciplined Republican minorities won’t do much for us.
“…to use Obama’s favorite analogy, you have a car stuck in ditch, so you call the mechanic, but the only tool he brings with him is a sledgehammer. And then he smashes your car to pieces and charges you $100,000 for his service. Finally, he calls you racist for complaining.”
Hysterically Brilliant
The barking dog can be retrained. This time everyone will be held accountable
and the barking will stop.
Nice analogy.
Having the Democrats in Congress for the last FOUR YEARS, is like having to drive cross country with a van full of unruly kids; It’s time to pull over and dole out the discipline. But we all know it won’t be a permanent fix.
There is no permanent solution. The U.S. system of government is deliberately designed to be continually maintained by the populace. If the maintenance is allowed to lapse, so does the quality of government. It really is up to us. Always has been, always will be. (Not that I think you don’t know that, just thought that it needed saying for the benefit of anyone who thinks there [i]is[/i] a permanent solution)
Didn’t you read my last sentence?
Great analogy Frank, we may be able to train the Republicans with shock collars. Can’t do anything with those zombie Democrats.
Well, we all know that you have to head-shot zombies to put them down…
Republicans are evil, Democrats are spineless. Take your pick.
Conservatives. How was that???
The funny thing is that the democrats are really doing some of those things, but you’re too invested in “winning” a political game to see it.
You do say that the only hope is single payer.
You do say people against Obamacare or most democrat programs want people to die or not care (That accusation was even thrown at Leiberman by Ezra Klein). You’ve been doing that since Reagan didn’t increase medicare as much you wanted. Fear is you bread and butter.
Not give up until steamrolled through congress? Are you kidding me? All those back room deals including those made with the very insurance companies you mock in the same panel?
The last panel is priceless. It’s hard to criticize it because it’s so divorced from reality I can’t stop laughing. Seriously, you don’t know why they wanted bipartisan consent? You don’t know why they “scaled it back” from single payer to ONLY the biggest entitlement of all time?
bc is a drooling lapdog of the left who prays to a faded poster of Stalin while listening to a scratchy copy of “Almost Cut my Hair, Happened Just the Other Day” or bc is an imbecile who shouldn’t be allowed near sharp objects. Take your choice.
There’s a difference?
While bashing Republicans and right wingers for their less than admirable values is all well and good, I find myself moving back towards my pre-Bush attitude of mostly ignoring what both Republicans and Democrats do. While all the smart people I know have absolutely no use for Republicans, there is still this frustration with Democrats for not getting things done when they have the chance, and for not dealing with Republican deceit & oafishness with a more firm backhand.
For example, taking the public option off the table during the early stages of the health care debate (well, what passed for one) was an extremely stupid compromise since Republicans were going to trash any real health care reform measure regardless. So the net result was a watered down health care package that won’t do nearly as much in fixing our tottering health care system as it could have.
Whatever….
“While all the smart people I know…”
BitChie, you and Rosie O’Donnell?
So “Mr. Lucky” – are you really such an ignorant moron, or are you actually just a moronic ignoramus?
Are you serious BitChie? Don’t mirrors exist for you?
Rolling out your Dicke Bertha mind and bending it back on yourself is quite a feat. And the Modern Liberal Case Study of “How To Use Peanut Butter For Toilet Paper” logic as taught by J. Dewey. Confirmed by BitChie Rock Turnover Exposure. So smart, so with it, so BitChie.
BitChie, the stars are aligned. So link to something. Something. Some Thing. You and Rosie O’Donnell?
Goldstein is inside your head.
Is that my choice??
Or, to use Obama’s favorite analogy, you have a car stuck in ditch, so you call the mechanic, but the only tool he brings with him is a sledgehammer.
Obama, in speech after speech over recent months, is stuck on variations of the car theme as a way to convey the superiority of Democrat mechanics.
Besides being naive, plebian, tedious and very odd (not to mention completely wrong) this obsessive-compulsive fixation sucks.
When Obama and his friends finish their Grand Unified Theory of Physics, they can refer to it as “Democrat Mechanics.”
You know what else sucks? SOCIALISM SUCKS. Sucks the life out of individuals, sucks the life out of societies, sucks the life out of economies, sucks the life out of your future, sucks the life out of your property, sucks the life out of the human spirit, sucks the life out of nations. Socialism SUCKS because it is a PARASITIC philosophy. And parasites SUCK. That’s how they stay alive. That great SUCKING SOUND heard in America for almost 50 years has been SOCIALISM. SUCKING. AND SUCKING. SMASH MARXISM EVERYWHERE IN AMERICA.
And November will change . . . what?
“In tax land, there are two basic kinds of income: passive and active. Passive income comes from investments primarily in the form of interest, dividends, and rents. Active income is “earned”; that is, one works and is paid. Active income received by a sole owner of a corporation is subject to Social Security taxes; passive income is not.
According to Bonsai66 at Daily Kos, Joe Miller has been shifting his active income over to the passive column by overcharging himself for rent on office space he owns. In his financial disclosures filed recently, he lists his office as an asset, for which his law practice pays rent. That’s fine and well. It basically shifts pockets but here’s the kicker: The rent has to be reasonable and based on market prices for similar properties.
Miller reports the value of his office between $50-$100,000 on his disclosure. He also reports rental income on it of $50-$100K. He reports earned income from the law practice of $59,000 or so. The property is valued at $25,000, which means:
Joe Miller’s LLC is paying Joe Miller 2-4 times the fair market value of the property in rent on an annual basis;
Joe Miller is reducing his earned income by excessive rent payments;
Joe Miller is intentionally underreporting his earned income to reduce the amounts he must pay in income tax and in FICA/FUTA payments to the federal government.
For any expense to be deductible, it must represent an amount which is ‘reasonable and customary’. Clearly rent payments which exceed fair market value by a factor of at least 2 are not reasonable, nor are they customary. On a 703-square foot office, that translates to nearly $3/square foot at the low end, and $6 on the high end! A quick survey of Craigslist listings for office leases in that area shows that to be far greater than similar lease rates.
Joe Miller is intentionally overstating his passive income to dodge what he rightfully owes in Social Security taxes. It may be a Tea Party value, but it’s also illegal, and should be investigated by the IRS as soon as possible.” (from Crooks & Liars)
Yeah, that Joe, he’s a peach.. So is his unemployment queen wife. I wonder of Joe thinks she’s unConstitutional. Or Sharron Angle, who’s on the government health dole along with her hubby.
Peaches, I tell ya! Fabulous They got my vote.
YEA! Hearsay and lies; Good luck with that!
If this is the worst that can be said of Joe Miller and the others, and if it’s actually true, it backs the article well. That makes them kinda suck, but not nearly as much as taking $40 billion illegally from creditors and giving it to a union that financed a huge chunk of your campaign (Obama), or using influence over local government to enrich yourself on land deals (Reid), exploiting minimum wage loopholes while raising minimum wage on others (Pelosi), espousing the need for Americans to reduce their carbon footprint, by force, while radically increasing their own carbon footprints vs. their predecessors (all three), and running up a $3 trillion debt for the public to pay, about $10,000 for every single American of any age, and not only having nothing to show for it but actually making matters worse.
The allegations against Miller, if so, would make him kinda suck, which is why he’ll cruise to victory.
I make no excuses for Miller. If he did what you allege, it’s wrong, and he should have to pay the penalties.
But how about if the IRS investigates him right away, AFTER they get done investigating Tim Geithner? Wait, woops! Obama-appointed Geithner, tax scofflaw, IS THEIR BOSS. Funny, that. Ha-ha.
And after Geithner, but before we get to Miller, let’s look at Al Sharpton, Tom Daschle, Nancy Killefer, Ron Kirk, Sam Sayyad, etc, etc.
That’s the thing with Democrats; they think they’re so smart when they point out the mote in their brother’s eye, all the while looking past the 80-ton precast concrete girder in their own. Everything conservatives/Republicans do bad, and it’s a long list, the Dems/Left does 100 times worse. And the pathetic part is, they actually think everyone doesn’t know that!
That was a fantastic reply…I like it, I like it alot! Kudos!
After all, the average price on Craig’s List is just the same as it would be anywhere in the country…
Your method is flawed. But you are a Kos kid. Why am I not surprised.
‘According to Bonsai66 at Daily Kos…’
That one of those sites where the ‘well-educated and well-informed’ hang out? Where the masters of logic, science, economics, and social dynamics discuss the weighty issues of the day? Isn’t that the same site where people fawn over the site owner, Kos, whose latest beclowning of himself was over when the Boston Tea Party occurred?
Do you really think, that given your own extensive reputation here as an inveterate and particularly vapid liar and fool, reinforced by the comments of every one of your myriad of pseudonyms and sockpuppets (how’s that gender conflict shaking out anyway?), that any information you purvey will be taken as anything but more maundering?
Oh no, that allegation came from bonsai66 @ thedailykos. With an unimpeachable source like that I guess a show trial is in order. Off with his head!
Apparently it’s time to up your dosage, as you seem to have trouble staying focused.
Trillions in debt… “But Miller is cheating on his taxes!”
Way to reinforce the point of this article and the cluelessness of liberals.
…according to some guy you found over at the ultimately informative Daily Kos… the place where they have to sue their own pollsters for lying to them and don’t know what the year 1773 might mean to a bunch of Tea Partiers, but are pretty sure that Sarah Palin made a mistake by using that date in a speech.
Congratulations, you’ve beclowned yourself.
Thank you for this splendid explanation of why the FairTax is needed so desperately.
Is this anything like when Ted Kennedy (God rest his soul) sheltered his personal fortune from taxes through legislation that he wrote? Or when Tim Geithner just held onto the money that the IMF reimbursed him for FICA tax? Or when John Kerry stored his boat in Rhode Island to avoid Massachusetts taxes?
Wake the hell up.
How do you thionk Pelosi and Reid got all the Weak lilly Dems to vote for the Obama Care fiascal? They sucked them into voting for it
Kind of?
Frank, but nothing sucks as much as this article.
Aw. You gave me frowny face.
Since no one is saying it…i will…
I wish i had been drinking a glass of milk while reading this article so that i could have experienced that trancending joy of spitting milk through my nose as i laughed and drowned at the same time.
Dude…major…major…funny!
I disagree. You suck way more than this article. Your suction level is right up there.
Priorities. The first priority is to flush. The bathroom will still stink after you flush the toilet, but at least you’ve gotten rid of the shit.
Then you can clean the toilet.
We already have a third party. And a fourth party and a fifth party etc. If you want a third party join the Constitutionalist party. That’s a third (fourth, fifth) party whose premise is to actually follow the constitution, which is where most, if not all, the TEA party people are.
Sorry, but the Libertarians were there waaaaaaaay before you.
Obama = Godzilla; you can’t say that, its racist!
This column is awesome! I laughed, I cried….
Don’t pay any attention to e pearse.
There are so many memorable quotes in this article, I don’t know where to start. Priceless!
How does one spell RECALL in those states whose demo-senators are not yet up for re-election?
“Because once the zombie apocalypse is over, the annoying neighbor dog is going to be music to your ears. For a little while, at least.”
Yeah, but once you’ve defeated the Zombie Horde, teaching the dog new tricks is a piece of cake.
Well, if the dog was forced to watch as you slaughtered the zombie horde! (And remember: go for a head shot.)
Mustn’t forget that among their many no-so-fine qualities, professional politicians are expert at not seeing what the don’t want to see, and remaining ignorant of what they’d rather not know. There will be a need to teach hard lessons to the “annoying dog” after November 2. Have your choker collars and rolled up magazines ready to hand.
You have to laugh at this political and economic mess and this definitely helps, Frank. Anyone who tells you what to do all the time – who tells you that you are stupid all the time – and takes your money from you to spend it on something and someone else – sucks. It is the very definition of sucking when it comes to politics and economics. Not since the days of disco have I ever seen such levels of suck. If only Joey Ramone and Ronald Reagen were here to lead the charge against such suck.
And did someone say Zombies and Democrats? Bob Hope didn’t suck.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4a6YdNmK77k
Clever commentary. One thing. “Analog” should be “analogue.” And let’s hope we can get rid of BOTH the zombies and barking dogs.
That was awesome and so infused with…….nuance.
I do love it when “smart” people – when assessing a situation that is pretty obvious after, like, 30 seconds of analysis – try to convince you that black is really white and that the sky is really green.
He’s right. I would rather go back to the barking dog. The question is, is the dog going to bark less, more or about the same. If he barks less, then no one will be tempted to release another zombie virus. If he barks about the same or, especially, more then after a couple of years of the dog keeping us up at night, some one might again release a zombie virus. So, let’s get back to the way things were before and then take care of the dog Old Yeller style.
As long as the U.S. represents anything, it will be a prime target and there will be more than a temptation, on the part of many, to subvert it. The voting public MAY remember this particular zombie virus for a generation, but we’ll never be safe.
…unless the dog is barking at a time-travelling killer cyborg.
Just sayin’.
@ Wow Really – Do you write for Jon Stewart? …cause you really (Wow Really) got that whole comedy thing down! I’m so glad you didn’t go the whole “Joe Miller eats babies…LIVE HUMAN BABIES!” route. It’s much funnier when you take the Party of Obama/Pelosi/Reid line the way you did and spout it like it’s from your heart…from your crazy, human-contact-starved, blubber-bloated, mom-can-you-bring-another-giant-bowl-of-Nacho-Cheese-Doritos-in-the-basement-PLEASE heart. Seriously, the whole, “My crooks are better than your crooks” argument leaves me in stitches every time! …and implying that a guy’s wife stole a loaf of bread or something in comparison to the Obama crew stealing a trillion bucks of my kid’s generation’s money is just comedy gold! With quip after quip you’ve clearly demonstrated that Republicans believe in redemption the way Democrats believe in revenge.
Gunga, or is it Mr Din?
“Republicans believe in redemption the way Democrats believe in revenge”
Clearly you haven’t read anything on this site. The only reason Republicans “believe in redemption” is because they have to drag it out so often. As for revenge, that’s the motivating factor behind the whole Tea Bagger movement. That and old people having way too much time on their hands.
I point out phonies like Miller because you won’t. You insist he’s just dandy. Patriots! He’s good people. Nonsense. The misguided baseless egotism of the right is far more dangerous than any policy enacted by the Obama administration. Let your mind drift back to the spring of 2003, ah, those were the days. Who would have believed that such an errant bit of smug revenge on Bush’s part (and greed on Cheney’s part) would turn out as horribly wrong as it did?
Me, that’s who. You, not so much.
You really think the republicans will win huge in November? You underestimate the power of the democrats to rig the voting process:
they will raise the dead to vote democrat (talk about a Zombie apocalypse, but it will be the dead dead rather than the living dead).
illegal aliens, felons, 18 year olds rewarded with ice cream, and those with IQ’s below 60 will be bussed in to vote democrat
the new black panther party will guard the polling place to ensure correct voting
So I am not that optimistic.
This is why it’s so important to win by a significant margin. Sure, they may (and in at least some places, almost certainly WILL) pull out all those dirty tricks (and more – see Houston, TX, right now), but even then, that’s only a few percentage points at the state level. Win 52/48, well, they might be able to swing it (FRANKEN, for example)… win 55/45, and it’s pretty hard to imagine… win 60/40? Yeah, you just WIN.
“If it’s not close, they can’t cheat!”
Great column.
I hope that my belief that Americans are angry proves to be true at the polls on 2 Nov.
Thanks,
Very funny article, and very true – and sad.
Speaking of Zombies….
Are JHP’s more, or less, effective against zombies?
More. You get a shorter but wider damage path which is all the better when trying to scramble zombie brains. But you usually associate JHP hollow points with handguns, and at best they will be marginally useful in the coming zombie apocalypse. Rifles are the way to go.
republicans suck period…republicans are boobs. democreats are something far far worse…they are sinister
This makes more sense than any political treatise I have ever read or heard referred to by a pipe-smoking academic with elbow patches. This article should be the sum total of the required course reading for PoliSci 101 at all American universities.
It is sad that we have to continually decide between the barking dog and the zombies. I hope that when the dogs get back to Washington that they have either learned their lesson or we shock the crap out of them to keep them in line. We the People can kill the zombie horde and train the dogs only if we stay in the game and pay attention because as soon as the pressure is off either the dogs will crap on the carpet or the zombies will attack again. We need to hold them both accountable for their votes and then through the crappy ones out in 2012 and beyond.
Bravo, bravo, BRAVO!!! It’s funny because it’s true. Best laugh I have had since I saw this country heading over Obama Falls.
It took generations to get to this point in our polity. It will take a long time to get out. This single election won’t finish the job, nor will 2012. They will be the beginnings. The TEA Party activists are, as they must, running for Precinct Chair positions, the school boards, and all of those little unheralded jobs on which a political party exists.
If the TEA Party keeps on, we;ll see real results along about 2018-2020. And, yes, it does take that long.
Such insightful political analysis combined with an uninhibited literary style makes this essay remind me of…
COMMON SENSE by Thomas Paine
Unfortunately said levels of insight are only necessary when things get so bad solutions like those of 1776, or 1861, loom on the horizon.
I think the actual is between sucky Republicans and zombie Democrats. That is not to say there are not some zombies (A.K.A. RINOs) in the Republican Party, who’s political existence must be remedied.
Noticed a lot of DINOs out there lately too…. haven’t made my mind up about them yet though….
People are well aware most Tea Partiers are freakish idiots. They just prefer freakish idiots to Democrats.
That Democrats don’t understand that is why they’re going to lose.
Some dems are trying to get re-elected by claiming that they will not support pelosi as their leader.This is the only reason they have to vote for them instead of that extremist,radical nutjob ultra christian republican.If they do not believe in killing babies, taking guns away from law abiding sane people,and that any two people with rectums should recieve govt. subsidies under the sanction of marriage,why don’t they change party affiliation.Of course they will continue to spend your money wildly on crap you do not want if you send them to washington to create or save thousands of govt. jobs.
For all the skeptics, I just offer that first you build the firebreak so the potential damage is contained, then you roll back the fire.
As for some of the slightly bizarre comments from some Tea Party candidates—the big difference between them and the Dems is that for the most part I don’t worry that Christine O’Donnell will mandate witchcraft, because she tries to follow the path of limited government. A liberal/progressive will try to use the force of government to compel you to do what he wants or prohibit you from doing what he dislikes.
So a Tea Partier with odd beliefs needs watching but is mostly harmless, a liberal is a dire threat.
Keep in mind that the same press who kept us “well informed” so that we made the right choice for President in 2008 is the EXACT SAME press that has been informing us politically for the past 10 years. It should be quite clear that MAYBE they haven’t been telling us the truth about the past wars/President/economy. Maybe insight into that should vary the perception of who sucks in this society.
the zombie apocalypse will definitely suck
Another scenario has it that the Repubs have one more change to get it right. The prevailing bias on them is that they are the party of “tax breaks for the rich”, which is hard to prove. The Dems prevailing bias is that they are the party of “tax and spend”, which they are not going to be able to white wash again.
Still and again and again, any of those two packs of jackals can get their hands caught in the pork barrel or playing with the wrong intern.
Ok…forgive me for being redundant…but what an amusing way of explaining the truth…thank you…I will forward this to my whacked out, liberal family and friends…hopefully they will finally get it. because they certainly can’t seem to get it when I talk to them….
“It was sheer incompetence plus arrogance — and those things do not complement each other well.”
I just wanted to say that this is an *excellent* line.
“‘Analog’ should be ‘analogue.’”
Why? They’re both valid spellings of the same word.
Was over at the LA Times website yesterday, and saw a post from a pro-Democrat commenter that almost half of the deficit was from Republicans.
So Democrats consider it a plus that they caused the majority of the deficit?
#50. Um, no. In normal use (US English) they are homonyms (homophones?):
“Analog” – A technical term referring to continuous-voltage circuits; as in analog v.s. digital computers, or an analog-to-digital converter.
“Analogue” – Relating to two concepts that are similar or serve the same purpose in different contexts. Related word: analogy.
Although looking them up in Wiktionary, it seems that the British are confused about this. But I personally have never seen “analog” used any other way than the technical adjective (or the SF magazine title, from the same meaning), and “analogue” used in any other way than the conceptual noun.
Was just bugging me, not usually a grammar Nazi.
Eric, according to my dog-eared Websters Unabridged, Pat has it right, and “analog” is an accepted spelling of “analogue”. Sort of like “catalog” and “catalogue”.
I used analog computers extensively in my youth, and I’m still trying to cope with the digital age. The latter is far more effective, but much harder to understand.
Hey, In Frank J. Fleming I think we’ve found our next P.J. O’Rourke!
Thats a very cogent argument for never supporting a Libertardian candidate.
This election is quickly becoming a farce, a laugh-riot. Note that I am laughing all through this post.
Our Commander-in-Chief, head of the world’s mightiest military, POTUS, with all the majesty of that office, decided to hit the campaign trail to rally the base and get out the vote.
How did he choose to do it? As President? By HECTORING them. He’s gonna nag them into voting! What a shrew! The Harridan-in-Chief! You cannot make this stuff up, it is so unbelievable!
It gets better. The Dems control the country right now. They have the WH, both Houses of Congress (with large majorities), 36 of the 50 Governor’s mansions, and a similar number of Legislatures. This is what Democratic control looks like, folks. So, clearly all they have to do is run on their record, and they will be sure to be re-elected, right?
In 2008, I remember the Dems pooh-poohing the Pubbies when they wanted to talk about the SoCon issues. “People don’t want to hear that. They want to discuss “the issues”.” (Well, the issues as the Dems defined them.)
Okay, so let’s discuss the issues that were so important back in ’08. HealthCare, the economy, jobs, the bailouts, Fannie and Freddie, AGW and “green jobs”, Cap & Trade, infrastructure (shovel-ready), getting tough on trade with China, spending, “the most ethical Congress ever”, Gtmo, Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, GWOT, Stimulus….
Oh. You don’t want to discuss that now? Because in every single one of those issues, you have “sucked like a black hole”? Well, there IS that.
The fact that Obama is out there campaigning should tell you all you need to know about for whom you should vote this election. They are not running on their records and achievements while having total control. All they have are smears of Republicans, while they flee from their own records. Heck, they even fail to mention that they are Democrats while campaigning. Why? Because they wouldn’t vote for them either!
They are becoming ridiculous to the point of irrelevance.
Wow! Frank nailed it. It really is a mind-bogglingly huge display of ineptitude. If it were and auto accident, they’d be charged with negligent homicide.
The economy was somewhat sick, and they tried to cure it by forcing it to swallow a “pill” the size of its own head. Now, they don’t seem to understand why it seems paralyzed. I’m sure they counted on raising taxes in the next two years to resolve the deficits, but now they won’t get that chance. The only thing voters want to hear is repeal Obamacare and reduce the size of government.
The government created both the problems with health care and the housing bubble. We really don’t need it try to fix the damage. Just get out of the way and let us work out our problems ourselves.
Ha! Funniest article I’ve read in a long time. Thank you.
Godzilla — Zombies — Cars in ditches — Sledgehammers — Suckitude. This essay has everything! Love it. Best punditry of the season. Bravo! Huzzah!
awesome!!!!
Spot on Sir! I only wish I had written this first! Kudos…I bow before your greatness….
You forgot the slurpees. They fit in the story somehow.
If you want to ensure an even bigger conservative victory in 2012, help take over the Republican Party by becoming a precinct committeeman. It’s easy and the Party RINOs DO NOT WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU COULD TAKE OVER THE PARTY IF YOU UNITED INSIDE IT.
Go here to learn more:
http://www.theprecinctproject.wordpress.com
Scroll down for two short videos that explains the whole strategy in about 13 minutes.
For Liberty,
Cold Warrior
“Essentially, all depends on me, on my existence, because of my political talents. Furthermore, the fact that probably no one will ever again have the confidence of the … people as I have have. There will probably never again in the future be a man with more authority than I have. My existence is therefore a factor of great value.” …not sarcasm.
This was Adolph Hitler’s comment about himself (kind of like an autobiography) at the military conference of August 22, 1939, en route to a non-aggression pact with Stalin. (from Wm. Shirer’s Rise and Fall of the Third Reich) Bambi has said that “he’s the difference” between the ’94 dem debacle and 2010. He’ll probably be proved right, as the ’94 debacle fades way back in the standings, bowing to the super debacle of 2010.
I can name a time when we had this level of suck and worse, and the results were disastrous. It also came on the heels of a rather prolonged unpopular presidency in which the Republican wasn’t really a fiscal conservative. They were the Carter years, and the level of suck was amazingly high.
We had what was called a “Misery Index” to tell us just how many people were out of work and suffering. Double-digit unemployment, runaway inflation, and gas lines. The lines! You could only fill your car up once a week on an assigned day, and you had to wait in line for upwards of six hours or more for the privilege. The price was, needless to say, high. And we had a smug, condescending ass in the WH, kind of like now only with a smile, who would go on television and tell us that all we needed to do was turn our thermostats DOWN in the winter and UP in the summer, and for heaven’s sake put on a sweater like me if you’re cold. Then you’ll totally save your family from foreclosure and starvation with your awesome skillz working a furnace the wrong way. And save dolphins. Look at the pretty dolphins!
Massive, massive suck. And after 4 years, the sun came out to shine on Ronald Reagan, who engineered the longest sustained economic boom in US History and defeated the Soviets in the Cold War without a shot fired. Because that’s just how he rolled.
@Aime, you mean like this? Yes, we’re still miserable!
http://www.miseryindex.us/customindexbyyear.asp
A lot of really bad sucking going on out there , so there is .
This was a funny article. Well done, Frank Fleming. I laughed out loud several times.
Socialism and totalitarianism go together. The Dem party advances the socialism, the Rep totalitarianism. There are exceptions, but as a whole the two parties are like carpenters and masons building the same house.
Brilliant.
Okay Frank, you’ve kinda got a new fan!!! ROFLMFAO if you know what I mean . . .
Great article! This will really help me when I try to explain what is occuring to all the morons.
Also, kind of scary that maybe the Republicans will misinterpret the message as a mandate to continue that damn barking.
This is one of the best articles I’ve read, especially the conversation between Democrats and Americans. It captures the Democrats attitude perfectly.
I’m certain the only way to fix a zombie apocolypse is to nuke the moon.
Brilliant! I laughed and laughed, and then I cried. And then I laughed some more, because I think things will look a little better in a couple of weeks.
WSJournalanche!!1!1
Here’s an Idea… Why don’t we vote for neither party until they go away… We don’t have to vote in a republican or a democrat. We get to choose. That’s the idea anyway.
This was amazing!!! I loved it!
Pitch perfect! My philosophy in a nutshell.
I think the incoming Republicans need to form a fiscally conservative Red Dog group. Then the Red Dogs and the Blue Dogs can figure out a spending plan that won’t destroy this country, even if we have to listen to them barking all night. No one is big enough to bail out the USA (like Greece), and I really don’t want to see tires burning on Main Street (like France).
this “sucks”
As Trevanian wrote in Shibumi in 1979, “… the American version of representative government assures that such qualities as intellect and ethics as might equip a man to lead a powerful nation responsibly are precisely the qualities that would prevent him from subjecting himself to the debasing performances of vote begging and delegate swapping. It is a truism of American politics that no man who can win elections deserves to.”
I very rarely vote FOR a politician. I almost always vote AGAINST the candidate who will do less damage. I always vote to deny them all resources and hope for as much gridlock as possible so as to minimize the horrendous legislation that these charlatans inflict upon us.
Life sucks, and then you die.
At least one can strive to make it suck less.
Frank Fleming: Brilliant. Hilarious and true. Kudos to you, sir.
Very disparaging to the good name of Godzilla.
The best description of the Tea Party spirit I’ve read; well done sir! I’m going to pin this up next to Iowahawk’s Oregon Trail parody.
I predict the Obama-Zombie costume makes a big comeback this halloween.
here is a great video taken last week.
http://www.vimeo.com/15872815
You need more comments – this was brilliant
I am so sick and tired of all the bickering between parties. I have always been independent and there should be a third party. I had to go demo after the primaries because they would not let me cast a vote. I believe that is what I did but I remember well that it really, really sucked. So suck is a good addition to this letter. Enough said: Just tired of both the dogs and I would not exactly say Zombies because that is a bit too intense of an analogy.
Republicans will win big in November because people are angry with Democrats. Then they will be angry with Republicans and the Democrats will win big, then they’ll be angry with Democrats and the Republicans will win big… see a pattern here?
The problem is, everyone just pays attention to the party rather than the individual. Sure, Democrats may have screwed up and caused a zombie apocalypse, but killing the zombies hoping for more barking dogs will just cause you to be blind to the one or two zombie dogs that will bite somebody and continue the zombie apocalypse all over again. Examine everyone before letting them in – one of the “zombies” may be just a survivor trying to stay alive while zombies are chasing him, and one of the “barking dogs” might try to eat everyone’s brains.
The lesson here? Be upset at both barking dogs and zombies, and demand something that doesn’t suck at all. Believe it or not, we don’t have to choose between two candidates presented to us from opposing parties – choosing the one that sucks the least. We can vote for *anyone*.
TO ALL CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICANS, INDEPENDENTS AND PATRIOTIC MEMBERS OF THE TEA PARTY MOVEMENT:
GREETINGS! I AM BUT A SIMPLE PERSON AND A HUMBLE SINNER AT THAT; HOWEVER, I’M CONFIDENT THAT BY IMPLORING OUR LORD GOD ALMIGHTY TO BLESS ALL OF YOU FOR THE EXPRESS PURPOSE OF RESTORING HONOR, DECENCY AND CHRISTIANITY TO THE WOEBEGONE STATUS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, GOD WILL HEARKEN TO, AND (HOPEFULLY, HOPEFULLY) HEED THE ANGUISHED CRIES OF MINE RESTLESS SOUL.
THIS THEN IS MY PRAYER:
O LORD, BLESS YOUR CHRISTIAN SONS AND DUAGHTERS AS THEY VENTURE FORTH TO DO POLITICAL BATTLES WITH DEMOCRATS, COMMUNISTS, MARXISTS, SOCIALISTS, LEFTISTS, LIBERALS, PROGRESSIVES AND OTHER DARK, EVIL FORCES WHO WOULD DESTROY AMERICA BY WANTONLY IMPOSING THEIR GODLESS IDEOLOGY AND UNCONSTITUTIONAL POLICIES UPON ALL AMERICANS.
DEIGN TO MAKE VICTORIOUS ALL DECENT, CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN CANDIDATES EVERYWHERE AND KEEP THEM OUT OF HARM’S WAY BY HOLDING THEM IN THE PALM OF YOUR DIVINE HANDS.
ALL THESE THINGS I HUMBLY ASK OF THEE O LORD IN THE MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS, AMEN!!!
I think this is the best analysis of the current politcal situation that I’ve read.
I agree with Phil. Truth and honesty are simple. Therefore, the Democrats suck, a word I now adopt.
The great sucktitude, a word I see above, is a decpetion carried forward by the stealth Marxists who have used the average nice-guy Democrat and tricked them into cheering suckness. I hope the Chavez-Castro-French leftist wannabes have shot their wad and the regular people toss out the “liberals” who have altered the meaning of the word from believing in a persons indvidual rights and dignity to obeying a collectivist state run by suckheads. (I like this word. Makes you feel better.) To take back America, the Democrats have to take back their party. The one Reagan loved before it left him.
There’s lots of things I simply don’t understand. This article is another of them—for a number of reasons. For instance, what does “suck” mean as it is used today as a slang expression?
I was taught that suck means to withdraw liquid from some receptacle with one’s lips by means of an inward drawing breath—such as drinking cola with a straw. But that is not what its slang use means.
According to Mr. Fleming’s article, the term evidently means “unappealing.” However, “unappealing” hardly carries the weight of appalling destructiveness that both the Dems and the GOP pose to Americans and to our country.
The destructiveness looming is not merely too much spending. It is not even too much regulation. It is the fact that regulation is thought to be a “good” and rational selfishness and capitalism is thought to be “bad.” The danger facing us is the refusal to name a moral issue and confront and resolve it.
Even in the face of the Republicans beginning to recognize that taking from the earner to give to the non-earner is wrong, most conservatives still believe some regulation is necessary.
Maybe pundits are unable (or unwilling?) to identify the basic
argument against what either the Dems or the GOP are doing and what each stand for fundamentally. Maybe this explains Mr. Fleming’s choice of article. In a ny case, I respectfully recommend he read “Faith & Force: the Destroyers of the Modern World” by Ayn Rand. It is past time when altruism is boldly and openly confronted and lies are named for what they are.
The struggle today is not simply “against the Left.” It’s against a murderous, torturous moral code that is sapping the strength out of resistance to nihilism and the willingness to support faking what is.
I personally wish Mr. Fleming had used the space for his article for an examination of such factors as these rather than indulging in slang that fails to name the extraordinary danger facing us today.
There’s this big push from the right-wing to deify Ayn Rand. So after about a zillion years since I first read them, I went out and got copies of The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged to see what the fuss is about.
Man, Enid Blyton told more credible stories, and with far better characterization and plot. And the moral of her stories were way more justifiable than the transparent crapthat Rand was trying to sell.
If this is the best that they can come up with, then you guys are in real big trouble with the only current alternative to Obanana-think! Noddy gets my vote!
Disclaimer – I am not now, nor never have been an American citizen. I do not now want, nor have I ever wanted, to be an American citizen.
What I learned from this brillian piece of writing from Frank is that it iw impossible to get SUCKLESS politics. The most you can hope for is SUCK LESS!
Above comment written with brain coasting along in neutral. I was taught to not write double negatives in English. So read it as “I am not now, nor ever have …”
All politician’s suck, but to say that Republicans sucked any less than the democrats is idiotic. The republican’s management of the country is what first brought us this mess. When Bush took office it looked like we would have budget surpluses for the next 10 years. Instead he started cutting taxes and spending the same amount. At least when the Democrats spend money they attempt to tax more. Our political system is broken. Backing either party is nonsense. Everyone don’t forget, when Nov. gets here vote right down party lines because your party is always right.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnUfPQVOqpw&feature=player_embedded
He didn’t use steez.
I have been laughing and rolling on the floor! LOVED the article….loved the comments. So glad to have a moment of respite before the ugliness that will be here next week. Thank you for the humor in the midst of it. This was absolutely brilliant!
in the best Steve Carrel voice – ‘I DON’T KNOW WHAT WE’RE YELLING ABOUT!’
I did not know how many complete idiots have access to the internet or that were allowed to write. Everyone who has read this article should go back to their ENews or Extra and continue learning about the REAL world.
To 99: If you didn’t realize how many complete idiots have access to the internet or were allowed to write, that explains why you also don’t realize that you are one of them. Clearly, you are not ready for the internet and may never be. Log off now and go read a newspaper or something while you wait for dementia to set in and heart disease to finish you off.
Brilliant. And prescient. Great call, two weeks ahead of time.
*shoots the stupid dog. knocks the heads off the zombies. and has tea for relaxation* yup. all shall go well after that.
Cute but I’ll take substance over style every time.
Just because the GOP won the election it doesn’t mean it’s what’s best for the country. It sure as hell wasn’t best for the country in 01 and 04 to put the GOP in charge now was it. Hindsight’s pretty clear on that one.
My take on the election is that people are like sheep. Rove’s billionaires, the GOP and vested supra wealthy interest are good at duping these sheep. If you’re saying I’m wrong, read my previous paragraph. Bad decisions of this electorate have cost this country a lost decade and perhaps it’s ability to be in the 21st century what we were in the 20th: dominant.
This election is like a woman slapping/berating the man who pushes her out of the way of oncoming traffic because in so doing her purse fell off her shoulder and was run over by the car.
Which one is the dog barking and which one is the zombie apocalypse? How about unpaid for legislation medicare part d, two wars, massive tax cuts, etc… taking billions in surplus to 1.3 trillion in deficit? How about 1.3 trillion spent on a war that should never have been waged at all? What about Katrina and 9/11? Are you trying to tell me that saving the auto industry, making sure our financial system remained solvent, saving/creating millions of jobs, and seeding the growth industrys of tomorrow while providing tax cuts to 95% of Americans and stopping a Great Depression are all in TWO years are comparable to the BUSH/CHENEY USA demolition project?
WTF are you smoking?
Okay so how about healthcare to cover 35 million americans while at the same time reducing the projected deficit by 100 billion over ten years? How about billions of dollars of subsidies to banks going instead to directly to student loans and loan forgiveness for college? How do you think these policies help the middle class over time?
Do you think that after literally decades of kicking these really big problems down the road that it was okay to do it yet again?
This would be really, if it were true. Unfortunately it’s not true, so it’s just kind of funny. Curiously, the author believes the economy tanked due to Obama and the Democrats (I guess he doesn’t remember the fourth quarter of 2008 and the financial crisis that led to trillions of lost equity value, home value, and millions of lost jobs). Instead, it’s Obama the one that destroyed jobs, by giving money to projects and local government so that teachers and police officers and road construction workers are still employed. Oh wait that doesn’t make sense does it?
I have no dog in the fight, I’m not a liberal, but it’s just lunacy to buy into the author’s narrative. There is not a single Republican proposal to revive the economy that has not been thoroughly discredited. Tax cuts for the rich to create jobs and wealth for the rest of the country? That was tried by Bush, the result was the worst recession since the 1930s and turning the Clinton surplus into deficits. Deregulation of the financial industry? That was tried too, the result was billions of bonuses to bankers, and the eventual collapse of the stock market and near death of the U.S. financial system.
Instead of laughing at a cute analogy, voters should examine the facts a little more. But who has time for that right?
103 and 104 both make some great points.
In very brief summary, the economic disaster/crisis, losses of millions of jobs, and budget deficits were created by the BUSH presidency — they all began well back in 2007 and before. And Iraq may be the most expensive policy mistake the US has ever undertaken – EVER, in our history.
You left out a key contributor to all that carnage, “the economic disaster/crisis, losses of millions of jobs, and budget deficits” which was the Democratic Congress. Deficits were created by both Bush and Congress. Mortgage crisis primary responsibility lies with congress insisting on government sponsored Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac loans to persons who could not possibly pay unless everything continued in perfect alignment. And yes, to failed oversight by Federal regulatory agencies that were headed by Republican appointed leaders.
Which is why, even as a conservative, I was furious with the Bush administration and the Republicans in 2007. As oil and gasoline prices spiked, as even Bill O’Reilly blasted President Bush and the administration, as the meltdown began, I remember remarking to my wife “This is the kind of stuff that makes people vote for the Democrats”. And it is why I will become an official Tea Party voter, if the Tea Party becomes a formal party in its own right.
The answer however is not to drive us over the cliff faster! Trillion dollar deficits and stimulus packages laced with previously unthinkable amounts of pork? Supplemental “stimulus” bills that were “only” in several hundred billions? Thousands of jobs saved, maybe, at the price of hundreds of billions?? And then, after campaigning on complaints of Republican refusal to work together, to hijack 1/5th of the economy in a non-partisan “we won, you lost” midnight back-room committee manuever, and then denouncing average citizens who were outraged and scared, for meeting and asking questions?! Sorry, NO.
The Republicans have a short window of opportunity to get their act together, to truly bring spending under control, and reduce government. Otherwise, the Tea Party will overtake it with the right and center of this country.
This is ridiculous! Republicans know best, just accept it.
Recently I saw a painting by Jon McNaughton that reminded me of this. If you are a Republican and you are sick of people telling you things that aren’t true about America I highly recommend that you check out this painting.
Look at it and realize that America was founded on conservative values and not liberal ones.
http://www.buyonenationundergod.com
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