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Re-Elect Obama — The Ultimate FAQ

Frank J. Fleming answers all your questions about why the president deserves re-election.

by
Frank J. Fleming

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October 11, 2012 - 12:00 am
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President Obama inherited a mess of an economy and has really turned it around. People seem to have trouble understanding this, though, so I thought I’d answer some common questions about the economy to explain what a great job he’s been doing and why he deserves reelection.

REELECT OBAMA FAQ: THE ECONOMY

Q. Obama was elected in large part because of the problems in the economy, but four years later the economy is in even worse shape. Why, then, should we reelect him?

A. Because Obama has lots of plans to get the economy going and create jobs. Romney doesn’t have a plan except to ride his car elevator and laugh at poor people.

Q. Plans? Hasn’t Obama been president for four years? Why hasn’t he already implemented his plans?

A. He has, and he’s done a great job with the economy! The recovery is in full force! Better stand out of the way of the economy — it’s raging!

Q. So are you claiming that what we see now is a good job with the economy?

A. Well, not all of Obama’s great ideas have been implemented, because the Republicans keep blocking his plans.

Q. So Obama hasn’t done a good job with the economy, and you’re blaming that on Republicans?

A. No, Obama has been a huge success, and his policies have created millions and millions of jobs! Oh! Wow! So many jobs!

Q. If Obama’s policies have made millions of jobs, why is unemployment higher than when he started, and why was it over 8% for well over forty months?

A. Because of BUSH! He was a very bad president, and he’s still on the loose, hurting the economy and losing jobs. Hopefully one day he can be captured and stopped.

Q. I’m a little confused. Are you claiming that Obama has put in place successful policies that have fixed the economy, or that he’s been completely impotent to fix things because of the Republicans and Bush?

A. Obama has done a great job, except for all this unprecedented opposition from the Republicans.

Q. Unprecedented? Hasn’t every president had to deal with an opposition party? Is Obama just much worse at that than all previous presidents?

A. No, it’s the Republicans that are much worse. They are the Party of No. They say no to everything. Obama is like, “Want to spend a few trillion more dollars?” and they say, “No!” What a bunch of jerks.

Q. Won’t the Republicans still be around in the next Obama term? Does that mean there will just be four more years of Obama complaining that the Republicans are blocking everything?

A. No, the Republicans will be cowed into doing everything Obama says when he tells them, “I won. Again.”

Q. But didn’t Obama have a majority in the House and a sixty seat majority in the Senate during his first two years as president? Why didn’t he just pass all his brilliant ideas then?

A. He did! He passed some great things, like the stimulus, and that other thing that we don’t need to spend a lot of time discussing other than to say that it was widely hailed as kinda constitutional.

Q. But wasn’t the stimulus a big failure? By Obama’s predictions, wasn’t unemployment supposed to never go above 8% and be below 6% by now?

A. Obama made those predictions before he knew exactly how bad things were. That awful Bush strikes again! We need a nationwide manhunt to find him and stop him!

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