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Pretend Gun Control

Gun control advocates won't know the difference if we pass laws banning a bunch of made-up things that sound scary. More: Biden on Gun Proposal: ‘I’m Shooting for Tuesday’

by
Frank J. Fleming

Bio

January 12, 2013 - 12:21 am
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The mood in America right now seems to be that “something” must be done about guns. Many Democrats are now openly talking about bringing back the assault weapons and high-capacity magazines ban, while they had previously shivered in fear of gun owners and the violence those heavily armed crazies commit against chads.

Of course, most of us are well aware that this “something” that will be done in the name of gun control will have pretty much no effect on whether criminals or madmen are able to get guns — and might even make these people even deadlier. For instance, the “gun-free” school zone is a victory in disarming people in the same way that getting all countries except North Korea and Iran to destroy their nuclear weapons would be a victory in nuclear disarmament. The main fallacy of gun control theory is in not realizing that criminals, by definition, don’t follow laws — they’re wily that way. Yet most gun control laws are aimed at this mythical criminal who thinks nothing of murdering people but would never dream of jaywalking. Still, people insist that we have to do something about criminals’ easy access to guns, but in a country where we have over 300 million civilian-owned firearms, that’s a bit like saying the American settlers shouldn’t have taken this land from the Indians — you might have a point, but that ship sailed long ago.

But people are really sure that if we pass the assault weapons ban, something useful will be done, even though it’s a ban on deadly weapons in the same way that prohibiting flame decals would be a ban on fast cars. This law intending that we only get shot with non-scary-looking guns wouldn’t actually ban anything, since everything pre-ban would still be perfectly legal — it would just cost more. Despite all the Occupy Wall Street protests about the sociopathic 1%, apparently we’ll all feel safer if only the wealthy have the ability to kill lots of people at once.

However, you can’t explain this to fans of gun control legislation, as the people most fervently for it don’t know anything about what they’re trying to outlaw (or for that matter, human psychology, based on their frequent predictions that the wild west will break out wherever concealed carry is allowed). They hear “semi-automatic” and think “machine gun,” and it’s obvious that they don’t even know what these gun bans do. So here’s a great idea that should make everyone happy: Let’s just pretend to pass gun control legislation.

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