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On the Left, It’s Fake Sophisticates, Real Snobs

Who will come to liberals' emotional rescue?

by
Bernard Chapin

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February 1, 2011 - 12:40 am
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Conservatives regularly observing members of the political left will sometimes feel like zoologists. Our opponents are a craven and animated lot. All their antics, bizarre posturing, moronic moralizing, rage, and mindless dedication to avoiding rational argument call to mind the behaviors of a baboon troop in a Guinea forest.

Conversely, leftists pay no heed to conservatives. This is true both for our beliefs and the words we actually say. They prefer to deal with bogey men of their own construction.

Straw men are easier to set on fire than reality-based propositions. Our foes mischaracterize, accusing us of being mean, greedy, or slave to whatever -ism pops into their head on a Sunday morning. Logical fallacies are their preferred response and they continuously project their deficiencies upon us. Red herrings, straw men, and appeals to conformity abound. A variation of the latter — the “everybody knows” gambit — was recently analyzed here by Herbert London. Another sacred line of anti-reasoning is the “appeal to sophistication.”

The Democratic Party’s faux aura of refinement is an integral tool behind their attempts at indoctrination. This was evident with Sarah Palin, who quickly became their bête noire.

Palin’s positive traits — kindness, happiness, beauty, domestic tranquility, and gratefulness to God — infuriated them with the way she made their own emotionally chaotic, depressed, statist feminists rank in comparison. They depicted her as “ignorant, uneducated, a hick,” and a fool. Standard! The same slanders are applied to Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck on a daily basis.

These tactics may or may not work with adults old enough to know better, but polling data suggests that they have succeeded wonderfully with the young (college students in particular).

Allen Ginsberg’s prediction — “We’ll get you through your children!” — was highly prescient. Your average sophomore and freshman at a university know very little about history, current events, political science, human nature, and economics — perfect clay for the Democratic Party to mold into drones.

Statist professors present the ignorati with Manichean interpretations of complex issues. They begin by denying that a political spectrum exists. Were they to do otherwise then conservatives rejecting a neo-socialist like Barack Obama would be non-remarkable. Yet as opposed to nuance (purportedly their thing), the kids only hear “it is people like us who are enlightened and who care” while those on the other side…do not.

Democrats make politics easy for neophytes. This is ideal for both parties. Quick and obvious solutions appeal to young adults who do have not the life experiences to fathom the billions of things they do not know.

Moronic slogans remove argumentative ground altogether. Members of the political left are described as the embodiment of Plato’s Guardians. Democrats are our society’s intelligent and thoughtful elite.

Their good is contrasted with the right’s evil. We are nothing but a ramshackle horde of obese tea baggers, haters, racists, and Neanderthals. A kid soon internalizes that only rubes listen to Republicans. After all, no conservative could pass a polygraph test if he maintained that youthful cadres are “the ones we’ve been waiting for!” No thanks.

Educated folks do not vote Republican, and it will surprise no one that your run-of-the-mill ethnic studies major regards himself as a very educated person indeed. Besides, nearly all of the fashionable people tilt left.

In just a couple of semesters, college students get equipped with all the knowledge they need to psychoanalyze the political right. Even less time is needed to glean that those who oppose the gay lobby are stricken with “homophobia.”

Conservative objections to the demands of gay activists are illogical and a product of finding them “icky.” Sadly, our criticism of policy changes amounts to “anti-gay hysteria.” Linguistic terms also predetermine later affiliation. Leftists are “progressive” which means that those who oppose them must hate progress.

Republicans are more likely to believe in God so leftist atheists are “brights” by default. Global warming? Two words: “it’s science.” Those of us who question it are stupid flat-earthers.

For yokels alarmed by the heavy-handed and spasmodic growth of the federocracy there is another term: “tenthers.” Think the Constitution is the highest law of the land? You are a sick individual displaying a pathological fetish.

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