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Oh, Canada!

Canada has quietly and politely become, well, more American than America.

by
Stephen Green

Bio

August 28, 2014 - 1:44 pm
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burger_king_canada_8-28-14-3

Perhaps the strangest thing about Burger King’s “defection” to Canada is that the restaurant seemed vaguely Canadian for as long as I can remember. America vs Canada, McDonald’s vs Burger King — in each contest it’s an international icon pitted against a smaller, weaker neighbor struggling to nurture its own identity while lacking a clear rationale for its continued existence.

I kid, I kid. In fact, Americans could learn a lot from our neighbors to the north about how to be better Americans. Again.

Let’s start with Burger King, where a company from the country founded in a tax revolt is buying a Canadian fast food chain in order to become a Canadian corporate citizen so that it might, among other things, avoid American corporate taxes, which are the world’s highest and widest-reaching. The inversion is being financed by well-to-do Obama supporter Warren Buffett, and is being decried by left-leaning Americans of slightly more meager means. Some even call it “corporate treason,” even though corporations owe fealty only to their shareholders, who will most likely benefit from the deal.

So what’s this have to do with Canada, eh? I mean no insult to gentle Canadians who would be horrified by the thought, but Canada might have become, well, more American than America is. Leaving aside for the moment their sensible federal corporate tax of just 15%, Canada has been kicking our butt — politely, but still.

Mocking evil dictators has been an almost singularly American pastime, ever since the Three Stooges beat expatriate Englishman Charlie Chaplin to the anti-Hitler punch in 1940. Chaplin’s “The Great Dictator” might be the more famous of the two, but the Stooges released the short “You Nazty Spy!” almost two full months before Chaplin did. But today? Today we must go to Canada for the rich mocking Russian strongman Vladimir Putin so richly deserves.

Nicely done, Canada — but not too nice.

You want crazy, out-of-control politicians? America once gave you hard-drinking Louisiana Governor Earl Long, who ran for reelection while living in sin with a professional clothing removal engineer less than half his age. And he won. Can you imagine such a thing happening in 21st century America? Of course not.

Top Rated Comments   
I dunno. I'm starting to think if they came and burned down all of D.C. again, we could just call it square.
3 weeks ago
3 weeks ago Link To Comment
If they gave Quebec back to the French, Hollande could install some confiscatory taxes and make things a little more socialist than they have been lately.

Their political history includes the very bizarre Mark Steyn/Human Rights fiasco and more than a few years of leftist fiscal insanity.

Barry Doublebogey may be the winner of leftist imbecility, not going to even try to argue the point. My solution is to give one of the two countries to the leftists and let the sane people have the other.

I don't want to live with leftists any longer. I don't want to watch, read or listen to their lies and propaganda. I don't want their divisive class warfare, their theft and confiscation of wealth, their rape of freedom and liberty.

I don't like one thing about them.

So, let's give them Canada and let's take all Canadians who feel the same as Americans. I grant this by fiat.

That's the way we do things down here now. And I grant the leftists the right to get the hell out of my country.
3 weeks ago
3 weeks ago Link To Comment
How quickly we forget Mark Steyn's hate speech trial, and the fact Canadians don't have a constitutional right to keep and bear arms.

Drop me a line when they fix those.
3 weeks ago
3 weeks ago Link To Comment
All Comments   (97)
All Comments   (97)
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Here is a true story which illustrates what most American’s know/think about their largest trading partner (hint; it’s neither the EU nor Japan nor Mexico, nor even Luxemburg; none of these comes close).
Years ago when Bill Clinton (or was it Constantine?) was king, I worked at the University of Nebraska as a lowly postdoc. As a history/philosophy/politics buff, I followed the president’s itinerary religiously. In those days, Clinton travelled a lot; he went to the four corners and the seven seas, Australia, Israel, China, South America wherever…The American press adored him; they tailed him everywhere, to every world region like puppies following their master. They wrote in detail about his every move. For over a year, every freaking day, a story appeared in the Lincoln Journal Star about Bill Clinton; where he was what he was doing and what he ate (mostly MacDonald’s hamburgers).
One day (it was a Friday) there was no story; no indication that Clinton even existed! I waited with bated breath. Nothing showed up on either Saturday or Sunday. Then on Monday, the press picked up where they left off like nothing had happened, trailing him across America like some sort of demigod.
I was curious. I searched online. I couldn’t find a reference to Clinton’s antics that weekend in any American paper (not even the New York Times) nor even from the international news agencies like AP. Was he involved in an affair (Bill Clinton; seriously?)? Had he checked into a MacDonald’s for a hamburger getaway and simply not told his wife (I knew that wasn’t possible; Bill Clinton tells his wife everything, even when he goes off his diet). Nevertheless, after covering him ad nauseum for over a year, they had completely ignored him for an entire three days.
Hillary knew where he was and I didn’t. I was jealous.
Finally, I gave up and logged onto the Kingston Whig Standard to see what was happening in Ontario. I saw the headline, instantly.
I hope I don’t have to tell you where President Clinton went that weekend or why the press ignored him.
2 weeks ago
2 weeks ago Link To Comment
Yep.

2 weeks ago
2 weeks ago Link To Comment
Missing from this discussion so far- Stephen Harper and the Conservatives won the Federal gov't in 2011 with around 38% of the vote. 40% seems to be an absolute cap to Conservative (right wing) support nationally.

The left divides the vote between the Blue-Dog-ish Liberal Party and the hard left New Democratic Party (NDP). There's also a separatist party in Quebec. The Liberals have not recovered 100% from a national corruption scandal from a decade ago. In the last election the Liberals lost a lot of their Quebec seats to the NDP party. Odds are unfortunately good that the Libs will do much better next election and Canada will likely no longer have a Conservative government.
2 weeks ago
2 weeks ago Link To Comment
Very progressive Canada does not believe that its citizens are entitled to own a home, so they had no financial meltdown.
2 weeks ago
2 weeks ago Link To Comment
Funny because Stephen Harper has a much lower approval rating than Obama. I guess we can learn something from the north. Also they have universal healthcare.
2 weeks ago
2 weeks ago Link To Comment
"Also they have universal healthcare. "

Yeah, it's so good anybody who can afford to comes to the U.S. for anything serious!

2 weeks ago
2 weeks ago Link To Comment
If it is so bad why don't they get rid of it. Probable because the people support their system to the tune of 85 percent.
2 weeks ago
2 weeks ago Link To Comment
Yes, some of them are my relatives, so I know all about it. This is one of the worst attributes of any government give-away program - it warps the mind. People become unable to think logically. They become dependent, not like children, but like brain-damaged people.

My aunt went from cursing the system because it was going to kill her (by putting her on a waiting list for a life-saving procedure), listing all of the terrible defects of the system, quite accurately (she's a nurse, and sees it every day), to praising it to high heaven because she never saw a bill.

What changed? She pulled in some favors, got bumped to the head of the line, and she's fine now.

So, based on making use of an illegal and unethical advantage, she went from seeing it clearly, and condemning it, to tolerating no word against it.

That's not reason. That's not logic. And that's not right.


And it doesn't matter one bit if the number is 100% or 1%.

2 weeks ago
2 weeks ago Link To Comment
About that French and Metric stuff:

I was in school when both those things became mandatory.

I still refused to learn them, because the government was ordering me to.

I did enough to get 51% on any test involving either, and retain not a word of French, nor do I understand metric without doing calculations in my head or online.

The French are the bane of our existence, costing us trillions of dollars in glorified bribes so they won't blow up our mailboxes and murder our politicians again. They are the laziest people I've ever "worked" with, too.

Most Anglo Canadians wish they would separate. You are right Alsadius, Mandarin is spoken by far more Canadians now than French.
2 weeks ago
2 weeks ago Link To Comment
Is that like not wearing your seatbelt because the government orders you to. (You don't wear your seatbelt, I hope?)
2 weeks ago
2 weeks ago Link To Comment
Trillions? Please. The all-time combined budget of the Canadian government is barely trillions. And Mandarin is way behind French - there's over 7 million native French speakers, and even combining both Chinese variants you barely hit a million.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Languages_of_Canada#Languages_by_mother_tongue
2 weeks ago
2 weeks ago Link To Comment
Perhaps Burger King will add poutine to their menu.
3 weeks ago
3 weeks ago Link To Comment
Poutine is already on their menu here. Has been for decades.
2 weeks ago
2 weeks ago Link To Comment
"Canada, please don’t burn down our White House again."

You sure you don't want them to? Considering the way recent occupants have been using it?
3 weeks ago
3 weeks ago Link To Comment
While we did get soundly thumped outside Montreal, it was the British Army that engaged in urban renewal with teeth in DC.
2 weeks ago
2 weeks ago Link To Comment
Do you know who led the American forces in the attempt convince Quebec to join the new American republic? Benedict Arnold, that's who. I thought that was interesting when I first read it a few years back.

2 weeks ago
2 weeks ago Link To Comment
I'm glad he was a colossal failure.

2 weeks ago
2 weeks ago Link To Comment
"Of all the things I never expected to have to get from foreign suppliers, it was electable drunks."

You, Sir, win the internets today. I needed that, badly, this morning.
3 weeks ago
3 weeks ago Link To Comment
Canada makes no contribution to the international order.
Canadian kids do not die maintaining it.
Canadian taxpayers do not pay for the necessary weapons.
Canada is Switzerland II cynically bystanding on America's roof.
3 weeks ago
3 weeks ago Link To Comment
Canada supplies your best comedians. Sorry about Celine Dion and Justin Bieber, though...
2 weeks ago
2 weeks ago Link To Comment
I'm a Canadian who once considered himself the biggest Amerophile ever. Used to think that all you say was right. Then, I did some reading and realized that, like you seem to be, I was just a victim of watching too many American movies.

In every single war of the last 150 years (with one exception), the Canadian volunteer rate for soldiers has been more than double that of the US. And (except for a brief period in 1917) Canada does it with volunteers. The US has always needed conscription. Even after Pearl Harbor, the US could only manage about 60% of the Canadian volunteer rate. Even Vietnam - in which Canada was not engaged at all - saw more Canadian volunteers (per captia) than the US.

I started off by mentioning "one exception." The one war in history where Americans showed Canadian levels of volunteerism was the Civil War. But that raises an interesting point. Americans don't volunteer en masse to fight for the abstract concept of "liberty." What really gets them excited is the prospect of killing each other.

And in the end, isn't that what modern Americans who are stocking up on guns and ammo today are revving up for? While beating your chests and talking about your 2nd Amendment, you're not anticipating foreign invasion...you're fantasizing about killing Americans.

Canada is not ideal, but I'd rather have a stable society where people are motivated to fight and die for the concept of liberty. Americans say that that's what's behind their arming-to-the-teeth mentality. But time and time again, you see American public support for wars (except when its American on American) wane much quicker and more easily than in other English-speaking nations.
2 weeks ago
2 weeks ago Link To Comment
If you wish to be stupid, it is good to show gusto.
1. We do, but you aren't interested.
2. We lost more than two or three soldiers in Afghanistan; four were killed by the USAF.
3. Like the aircraft which cover the USAF when its F-15s breakdown? Or the boats that covered the ass of the 6th Fleet when blockaded Cuba? Or picking off nasty submarines seeking out USN carriers? MARPAT.
4. The M777 gun-howitzer entered combat in spring 2006, employed by 1RCHA. The USMC deployed M1A2 tanks to Kandahar in 2011 because the Strathconas were deploying their Leopards home after five years in country.

Cheers
2 weeks ago
2 weeks ago Link To Comment
That's profoundly insulting. Canadians lost more soldiers, proportional to population, than the US did in Afghanistan, for one thing. Your ideas about Canada were out of date when Pat Buchanan was peddling them 20 years ago.
2 weeks ago
2 weeks ago Link To Comment
Right. Just look up Canada's contributions in WWI and WWII (for the latter, make it easy on yourself and look it up in context of the Normandy landings, Juno Beach). Canada has overworked its armed forces helping the US in Afghanistan and similar NATO deployments, too. I grant its armed forces could be bigger, but the Switzerland crack is just insulting.
3 weeks ago
3 weeks ago Link To Comment
That was then, this is now. Canada went thoroughly multi-culti starting with the reign of le Roi Pierre.

And it has a health insurance system that is wall-to-wall mediocre — so much so that any Canadian who can goes to the US for care.
3 weeks ago
3 weeks ago Link To Comment
You forgot the curse. Never, ever say that name without cursing.
Personally, I like to add another daily just for good measure.
2 weeks ago
2 weeks ago Link To Comment
Since 2005 or so, between 40,000 and 44,000 per year; the costs of their treatment is paid for by the provincial healthcare systems.

Cheers
2 weeks ago
2 weeks ago Link To Comment
I have been saying for a few years now, that American conservatives ought to look north, ever since Harper came into office. However one thing to note, just because the Harper govt is pro-Israel and sensible about a lot of things doesn't mean things have changed much in the liberal strangleholds of BC and Ontario and among the usual suspects. The Canadian media was as odious in its coverage of the recent Gaza war as the US media, and to give just one example the Ontario universities student association voted in support of BDS against Israel.

Canadian liberals, every bit as odious for the most part as their American and European counterparts have not done any U-turn, and they are still there, vocal and influential. Nevertheless thank God for Harper. Canada may be the only civilized nation left in the Americas, hope they can stand firm as America goes to the dogs and not be dragged down with 'em.
3 weeks ago
3 weeks ago Link To Comment
Harper's on the right in the Canadian political spectrum, but here he would simply be a centerist Democrat.
3 weeks ago
3 weeks ago Link To Comment
Not entirely. No Democrat since Johnson has had such a spine in foreign relations, and LBJ was kind of a psycho, which Harper isn't. He's also notable for moderate tax cuts, small deficits by the standards of everybody else(if still too high), and a propensity towards taking small actions to spike very stupid proposals(most notably, he just about singlehandedly killed the global bank tax that was being floated in 2009 by saying "You guys charge it if you like, but Toronto will happily poach bank HQs if you do").

Harper is following a mold that has historically worked extremely well in Canada - boredom, with a couple policies for spice. Macdonald, Laurier, Borden, King, and St. Laurent each got 9-22 year terms doing exactly that. He's not a lefty, he's just extremely careful.
3 weeks ago
3 weeks ago Link To Comment
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