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Obama’s Obstacles to Growth Will Make the Economy Stronger

The president knows that you can't be nice to the economy. You have to beat it with a baseball bat to make it tougher.

by
Frank J. Fleming

Bio

March 16, 2012 - 12:00 am
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Do you think Obama likes doing this? Despite the insane smile on his face, he does not. It’s just that he knows there is a big, bad world out there where countries are collapsing under debt and China is taking all of our manufacturing jobs, and he wants our economy to be ready for it. And what does he have at his disposal? The government. As we all know, the government is horrible at directly helping the economy, as it’s filled with arrogant morons who don’t know a thing about business. But what are those people good at? They’re good at being obstacles to business. And that’s what Obama has done: He’s enabled the government to become this giant obstacle course that the economy has to get through. That’s what we’re all watching now: the economy, already starving and sleep-deprived, struggling to get past all these hurdles. It’s like Navy SEAL training but even more intense.

And that’s where the stupid, short-sighted Republicans come in. They’re all like, “Oh no! Poor economy! It’s going to die having to deal with all that!” They don’t have the faith in the economy that Obama does. Foolishly, they want to remove all those obstacles and make things easier on the economy. If they do that, things could be like the ‘80s again. Remember how bad that was for us? The economy had like no hindrances, and we had all that job growth, and all our incomes grew with such little effort. We became super fat and lazy because everything was just going so awesomely.

Obama is never going to let that happen. If, despite all his challenges, he sees the economy start to do well and thrive, he’s just going to run up to the economy and start whacking it with a baseball bat, i.e., raise all our taxes or make energy even more expensive as part of some bogus green initiative. He will always keep pressure on the economy so it will constantly fight to even breathe, because he wants the strongest economy imaginable. And that’s why it’s imperative that we get Obama another term in office and that we don’t let our economy off the hook so it falls back into lazy habits. With all the regulations and taxes Obama will put in place in his second term, if the economy survives that, it will be pretty much indestructible and will be able to take absolutely anything.

If it survives. Sometimes the bear does rip open the log you’re hiding in, pull you out, and bite your head off. But if you want the challenges to work, the threat has to be real. But I’m pretty confident the economy will be able to overcome Obama’s carefully constructed obstacle course of death.

So how much do the monkeys make dancing for organ grinders? Or is that market pretty saturated?

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Frank J. Fleming is the author of Punch Your Inner Hippie, coming November 11th, and the science fiction novel Superego, coming later this year, writes columns for PJ Media and the New York Post, and blogs at IMAO.us, and if he were president, he'd never be seen on the golf course during international crises, because he'd be in the White House basement playing video games.
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