Obama: Al-Qaeda Racists Give Radicals a Bad Name
In a last-ditch effort to find a moral justification for a war that his radical leftist base could accept, President Barack Obama attributed recent bombings in Africa to al-Qaeda’s bigotry, describing the terrorist masterminds as racist radicals. Accompanied by a somber Rev. Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, and NAACP President Ben Jealous, President Obama read a joint declaration denouncing al-Qaeda’s bigoted practice of “sacrificing innocent African life” as a means to hit a legitimate Western target. To cover all possible bases, the declaration included a list of other random offenses, such as: the terrorist group’s failure to embrace the local LGBT community, their complete lack of interest in environmental activism and in raising awareness about climate change, turning a blind eye to the existence of a “glass ceiling” for female suicide bombers, and a few documented instances of not separating paper from plastic.
Said Obama:
This is not behavior most self-respecting radicals would condone, nor expect from fellow radicals. From now on, our number one priority in Afghanistan and elsewhere is to impose strict Rules for Radicals on local extremists. If they want to continue to enjoy moral support while fighting U.S. imperialism, they’ll have to play by the book and conform to accepted standards. They’re going to have to learn the meaning of diversity quotas and sensitivity training. They’re going to have to provide proof of employment of a proportional number of atheists, Jews, Buddhists, Hindus, Animists, and followers of The Ancient Science of Soul Travel, in order to lift the undeserved stigma of violence and extremism from the Muslim faith.
Obama’s change of priorities brought a welcome relief to U.S. field commanders, who were all too happy to force the enemy units to comply with the same government-imposed rules and restrictions that the U.S. Army is facing on a daily basis. As a result, a number of radical groups in Iraq and Afghanistan have already switched sides after only a few days of living under U.S.-mandated Rules for Radicals.
One man, identified only as a “Soldier for Allah,” explained:
We were led into a classroom and had to sit in circles for what they called “Collective Self-Attaining Support Sessions” where they lectured us on matters such as “Gender Awareness,” “Multicultural Identity,” and “Environmental Racism.” For the love of Allah (peace be upon him and his messenger, the Prophet Muhammad), even in Saddam’s prisons, I was never accused so often of being guilty!
Trembling, he continued:
We had … had … gender role-playing. We had … non-dairy vegan diets. We had … had to …
At this point, he broke down and cried:
You win, America! I had to write a 17-page memo explaining why my unit did not have a Hispanic presence! Please, you win!
I am certain 2+2=4 still, but I am getting weary.
Lots of articles on marxism lately.
I ain’t in the collective. And I will oppose until my last breath.
God Grant us strength.
HYSTERICAL!!
“Islamic radicals need to understand that they must meet our goals and timetables. That is, if you’re a terrorist and you shoot at us, we’re gonna speak with you.”
I spewed coffee out of my mouth and nose when I read this line. The sad part is that if certain people in power had their way completely, this would be the reality. That is scary.
I’m confused
You mean this isn’t a REAL story?
I suppose next you’re going to try to convince me that the” NAACP Condemns the Tea Party” wasn’t a joke.
NAACP???? Lets see…. tryin’ to figure out what that stands for….
National Association of Anti Conservative Progressivism??
Neophytes And Assorted Crazy People??
I believe that this organization served a valid and necessary purpose at some point in the past. What it has evolved into is disgusting.
You can put the labor unions into that category too. Eventually it seems that they all sell out to the left after achieving their stated purpose. Where else to continue to have some power for their “leadership”. The left will just continue to recycle their grievances long after they have become moldy and stale.
The “stated purposes” of unions were all acheived, long before unions, or by someone/something other than unions.
The only thing unions have ever been good at is self-promotion.
Again, in my opinion, unions, in the same way as the NAACP, originated with good intentions. Basically uneducated, blue collar workers were, and continue to be, protected by labor laws. The POLITICAL turn that these institutions have taken present big problems.
ditto dat dave.
time for a powerbar and a red bull….
The NY Times Square bomber told his judge that his moral duty, as a Muslim, is to kill American kids.
He related how proud he was to murder Americans.
Now a new video he made has surfaced.
Just your next door neighbor living off of the US taxpayer.
http://jewishdailyreport.wordpress.com/2010/07/16/muslim-soldiers-must-kill-us-kids-ny-bomber-tells-judge/
Very funny.
Only thing is, it is so close to the truth.
HAIL Red Square, Comrade Whoopie and People’s Cube! Lenin would be soooo happy! He would be tickled pink!
Fantastic article. I must confess that I was into the second paragraph before I realized it was satire. It’s sad when such great humor is degraded by the fact that it’s all too believable. When you initially think, “Well more idiocy from the White House”, you just know we’re in deep trouble.
It’s more of an arab bigotry against anyone who isn’t an arab. They have a long history of mistreating even their co-religionists.
hey, gotta test out that new bomb design somewhere. and it can be such a pain aligning a site. It makes for great target practice.
Islam is an Arab Supremacist CULT hence the misogyny, race hate, slavery justification. Couple that with the fact that you can only pray to Allah in correctly accented Primitive, Ambiguous 7th Century Arabic as used in the region where Mohammad grew up (what a surprise hey and what a perfect proof of its INVENTION by him).
Now ask yourself what sort of Supreme Being can only understand Primitive, Ambiguous 7th Century Arabic.
You have to wonder when Gibson, Grigorieva and her teeth and Whoopi Goldberg capture the morning news, together with Lohan’s latest, if the West is at all capable of being serious about anything, much less Islam.
“You win, America! I had to write a 17-page memo explaining why my unit did not have a Hispanic presence! Please, you win!”
That has got to be the line of the week.
“If they want to continue to enjoy moral support while fighting U.S. imperialism, they’ll have to play by the book and conform to accepted standards.”
What an idiot. Muslims don’t give a crap about that. All they need to do for moral support is keep following Mohammads example, which they are doing just fine.
Love the imposing” rules for radicals.
they religiously discriminate as well.
they need to fairly employ and provide the same benefits to christians, sihks, buddhists, shintos, etc.
oh, heck, lets just bury the suicide bombers in a pig skin.
And raiding their members pockets to gain political favor.
HA!..that’s almost as amusing as “Death to those who say Islam is violent”….I guess narcissistic ignorance is bliss…
The only reason people hear have trouble identifying this article as BS after the first few lines is that you are all brainwashed by this site. Day in and out you read articles negatively slanted and sometimes completely made up that attack liberals. As far as I have read most people here cannot tell the difference between fact and fiction.
Brian,
The standard line to you trolls.
The grown-ups are having a conversation. Here’s a push pop. Now go in the other room and behave yourself. While you’re there, try to learn the difference between HEAR and HERE Einstein.
Steve I do agree with you in what you say about moonbat Brian but perhaps you would like to visit your ‘HEAR, HERE’ comment again Brian used ‘here’ perfectly correctly and you are just making yourself look foolish. He talked of ‘here’ as in ‘on this site’ and not ‘hear’ as in ‘what they heard’.
So it seems its YOU who does not know the difference so as you say Einstein YOU are not. By your ‘Here’s a push pop’ one can only presume you are a young half educated fool who thinks he’s a smart arse .
Careful Mr. N, you may be being cleansed without knowing it.
Al Qaeda’s response to Obama:
You are racially profiling Al Qaeda as terrorists; We are a peaceful, social engineering organization, that sometimes agrees with the Democrat Party.
If you continue with your racial assaults, we shall seek U.N. Sanctions against you and your regime of psychos and misfits, and will intensify our ‘No Fly Zone’ across your country.
P.S. Please get a hijab for your wife.
These groups all START with a grievance, obviously. What to do when you get pretty much what you want? Become a lobbying group for profit. Who’s going to give you credence? The party for victims.
Quite interesting blog article. I randomly stumbled upon this web site when I was in the middle of doing some research using the internet. Wanted to say I like this web site and to keep on doing what youre doing. Also keep in mind, enjoy the adventure… dont over-focus on the final destination. Have fun, Pete