Liveblogging Tiger Woods’ Big Press Conference
7:47AM When Aaron asked me to drunkblog this thing — I think he was kidding about getting drunk at 9AM — I almost said no. Making fun of Tiger Woods? It’s like going to see Olivier perform Macbeth on stage, and spending the entire show laughing and pointing at that stupid young king. So we’ll see what happens.
7:53AM We’ve got a tiny little technical glitch. That 3:37PM timestamp should read something around 7:46AM Pacific. Totally my bad, for clicking the submit button before the post was published. We’re working on it.
7:54AM OK, another tiny glitch. That 3:53PM timestamp should be 7:52AM Pacific. That one isn’t my bad. I don’t think. Anyway, if we’re pretending it’s that late in the afternoon, can I go ahead and have a martini? Just a little one?
7:55AM What’s your take? What does Tiger need to do today? Or should he retire from public life?
7:58AM Back to the Shakespeare thing while we work on the tech issues. Here’s a guy who, before he was thirty, totally changed golf. He turned it from a lazy man’s activity into a competitive sport, pretty much through sheer force of will and an almost inhuman effort. And then… the harem of slightly skanky nightclub hostesses. Epic tragedy. And like all tragedy, self-inflicted. It’s really hard to find the funny. Especially sober. But I’m working on it.
8:02AM Wow. The… Tigerness… I don’t see it.
8:02AM “I want to say to each of you, simply and directly, I am deeply sorry for my irresponsible and selfish behavior.” That’s a solid mea culpa.
8:03AM “My real apology to here will not come from words, but… from behavior over time.” And he’s trying to keep what’s private, private — as best as can.
8:05AM “My behavior has caused considerable worry to my business partners…” You know what I’m finding grating? “My behavior,” as if it’s something separate from himself. How about “I have caused considerable worry… ?”
8:05AM “I have made you question who I am.” OK, we’re away from the “my behavior” thing.
8:06AM “Never hit me that night or any other night.” This is a man defending his wife… at long last.
8:06AM “I cheated. What I did was not acceptable and I am the only person to blame.”
8:07AM “I thought I could get away with whatever I wanted to.” Well, yeah. “I thought I was entitled.” Well, duh. “I was wrong, I was foolish.”
8:07AM “I don’t get to play by different rules.”
8:08AM This seems like an honestly contrite man. “I want to live a life of integrity.”
He should take advantage of the opportunities he has in this great country. Whether he retires or not, people are always going to remember Tiger Woods as being a lying, cheating __________ (I leave the noun at the discretion of the reader). He might as well be the best golfer. Ratings have been dropping for golf and Tiger has been the biggest draw. If people stop watching him golf because of this, then he can reassess. But golf didn’t get him into this mess.
Obviously, an apology would help him, but after that decline to comment; just shut up, stop playing the field, and go back to playing the game.
Liveblogging this nonsense?!?
I guess I have been in denial after all, America has gone compeltely stupid.
Damn there are more important things in life than tiger’s sex life…
Why do people care????? they dont’!!! only the Media has whiped this up into a storm.. leave the man and his family alone!!! let him play golf! We’re not here to critique his bed side manner, only his golf swing!!
Clinton screwed around on the world stage and was treated like
…. “he’s da man!!” and he laughed his way through life!!
so lets get on with the important things in life..
like how many tacos do I need to cook for dinner…or does my cat have a hang nail…
“…leave the man and his family alone!!”
Tiger Woods is not a victim! He is the one who decided to speak to the world this morning. And much of it has to do with concerns regarding his bank account. Millions of dollars depend on the outcome. Public relations experts have put this event together. One may even describe it as a cynical bit of stagecraft.
Hey Tiger, You don’t owe me an apology. Live your life as you see fit. I could not care less if you stay with your wife or bring a different floozy to the tournament every week.
I would have prefered that he came out as Evil Tiger with a mean goatee and a couple of bimbos. “You can all kiss my ass” would have been more apporpriate a statement to our nosy press.
8:15AM “Someday, believe in me again.”
I think I’d like to.
Why? What do you mean by “believe in him” to begin with? And why would you like to believe again?
Is this a guy thing? Wanting to believe that someone who can dribble/putt/bat/whatever is also morally laudable? I can see having a general interest in the well-being of all dependent wives and kids in our society and by extension hoping that their husbands and fathers are caring and responsible — but wanting to “believe in” a guy just because he’s tops at a game “whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose” is a mystery to me.
Athletes and entertainers — why do we expect anything of them except to give us thrills and chills by exercising their talents?
“let him play golf!”
Tiger Woods’ per se golf earnings probably do not even comprise ten percent of his total earnings. The big bucks are in the advertising. Woods cannot go back and merely “play golf.” The whole industry is suffering because of the scandal. It can no longer attract major sponsors. Woods is a relatively young man. One could argue that he has blown roughly one billion dollars of future earnings!
I didn’t listen his sexual escapdes apology. Did Tiger Woods happen to mention “That this is a problem I inherited from the Clinton Admin.”?
RE to #5:
My sentiments exactly. His ostensible “contrition” extends only so far as to help his bank account. If, as he stated, this was a matter between a husband and wife then he shouldn’t have had the press “conference” in the first place — why go on national T.V. to claim the obvious? Live your life, go back to golf when you choose, and whenever anyone asks you about your personal life tell them to MYOB.
Agreed… this man’s sex life is none of our business… Vodka.. there are more important things to drunkblog….
I cringe with this crap…first, it is an issue between him and his wife and frankly none of my business; second, if I was foolish enough to believe the hype and/or ‘idolize’ this man without knowing who he truly is, then shame on me – there are better role models in one’s life; third, this obsession with public confessions is crazy, who cares what you say, it’s what you do – if they match, then great, if they don’t then again, shame on me for believing what you say (kinda like our Prez); fourth (and last), there but for the grace of God go you or I – yes, his behavior as reported was reprehensible and not that which we usually condone in society, but I don’t care what journalists, newspeople and others not *directly* affected by this think about this apology without us knowing their circumstances (or even if they would do what he did and has done)- heck, I don’t care what those directly affected think (see first above)
He’s an awesome golfer, most probably the best we have ever seen and will see for many years – that’s what I watch him for – not for anything else.
So, I personally would love it if the media would “move along, there’s nothing to see here” on this story.
bigger issue and what complicates the entire situation? Tiger was an insufferable jerk on the golf course, throwing clubs, screaming f-bombs, and acting as though he was entitled to sink every 40 ft put or hole out ever 220 yd 5 iron. Throw in his isolation and control of the media and well yes, the minute he falls off the pedestal, of course the media is going to be all over the issue, because its now out of his control.
sorry for his wife and family, don’t really buy the sincerity, given his overall behavior in the past has been calculated, controlling and generally jerkish, both on and off the golf course.
“…this man’s sex life is none of our business…”
Nothing could be further from the truth. Tiger woods made this our business—because of the scam job he played on the public. It was he who chose to market himself as a model husband and father.
“If, as he stated, this was a matter between a husband and wife then he shouldn’t have had the press “conference” in the first place”
That is correct. Tiger Woods is actually exploiting his family for financial gain! He could have opted to stay out of the public eye. This would have arguably been the best decision if his family wellbeing were the first priority. I also strongly suspect that his wife remains with him only because of the financial aspects. The odds are strongly against Woods ever again earning top advertising dollars. But they are near impossible without his wife publicly standing next to him.
“Hey Tiger, You don’t owe me an apology. Live your life as you see fit. I could not care less if you stay with your wife or bring a different floozy to the tournament every week.”
The advertisers could care less whether you believe Tiger Woods does not owe you an apology. This is the only question that concerns them: will you ever again perceive him as a credible representative for a product? Are you likely to purchase a particular beer or an automobile because of his endorsement?
More masochistic behavior on my part this morning. I actually wasted another ten minutes watching this woefully pitiful demonstration. I’m sure there was a purpose to this spectacle. I just haven’t figured it out yet.
Get your clubs Tiger and go play golf. First tournament you win, all will be forgiven and forgotten as they place a purple robe on you for your “greatness.” It’s the American way. Heck, you’ll probably win “comeback” player of the year as the media grovels more for your approval.
Hopefully Tiger, you’ve now recognized the same toads who built you up will quickly sell you out, that sleazy women are really fun for 15 minutes but the blowback ain’t worth the short thrill, and that money, riches and fame or even the country club are not a sign of true character. Somehow, I’m not convinced you’ve learned that last part yet. You will.
Here’s a suggestion from one of the common folk who watches and marvels at your skill with a golf ball – take your wife with you everywhere you go short of the men’s rest room. I don’t know if Buddha recognized the wisdom of this, but I do. It won’t keep your roving eyes from roving, but your other parts remained stationed where they belong. Saves you a whole lot of heartache and your children will love you for it.
The Heritage Foundation and American Enterprize Institute shall devote an enormous amount of space to this news!
Aaaaaaahaaaaahaahaaa!
David Thomson: “Are you likely to purchase a particular beer or an automobile because of his endorsement?”
Sure I would – he can endorse some nice little sports car: “I get the most tail when I’m in my Z3!”
then “I get ‘em drunk on Corona and I’m in!”
“Sure I would – he can endorse some nice little sports car: “I get the most tail when I’m in my Z3!”
then “I get ‘em drunk on Corona and I’m in!”
Your humorous response reflects the nightmarish situation of the advertisers. They need Tiger Woods’ name to once again become synonymous with traditional (but not necessarily religious) family values. The image of Kid Rock or Gene Simmons ain’t helping! You are scaring the crap out of them.
So, are any of you criticizers going to go to Confession this Lenten season? Or are you already perfectly holy and without sin?
Tiger Who?
Crocodile tears from someone who put his wife and children at risk so he could have unprotected ‘Ambien’ sex with not one skank but a whole plethora of gutter trash more than likely ridden with STDs.
Kick him to the curve, Elin and never look back.
I don’t care who he has sex with…it wasn’t me or my husband, so I dont’ care. Why do any of you? angry you weren’t there is a good reason.
If the media had not made such a big deal of this it would be over and in the wind like Jordan, Clinton, Johnson etc…
He wins one big tournament and this is old old old news….and you get to go and decide all the big things in life, like should we continue fishing off the coast, or what color should Michelle wear> etc.
Hypocrisy is the tribute vice to virtue pays.
The reason for this bit of public theater is that there is a very ugly subculture among golfers, at least in the Washington, DC area. Either the sponsors know about it and want nothing to do with it, or they are involved and don’t want to get shut down by their wives. Tiger didn’t do this because of the damage he’s done to his marriage. He did it because other, cheating husbands have something at stake. The PGA would do better to get the naked women off the golf courses, instead of Tiger.
So who did Tiger apologise to exactly. It semed to me as if the whole thing was for the benefit of NIKE.