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Live from DNC: Zombie at a Giant Puppet Parade!

Ever wanted to see left-wing talk show hosts and Ralph Nader's running mate in puppet form? This is your big chance. Latest: I Went to Invesco and All I Got Was This Lousy Report

by
Zombie

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August 28, 2008 - 8:20 am
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Crossposted at Little Green Footballs

August 28, 10:00 pm PST

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…and boy, do I regret it.

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He got a lot of fist bumps from the passing crowd — but no tickets. Would you give up your ticket to the Second Coming?

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I tried to find the beginning of the line — a line which seemed to have no beginning or end. I made the mistake at first of trying to go toward the entrance. Foolish me. Notice how the line seems to emerge from the stadium. I was told this was actually the middle of the line. So I tried my best to work my way backwards.

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Back, back I went, for a quarter mile, a half a mile…and even after all that it kept winding and looping back upon itself over and over.

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In each parking area, the line zigzagged in labyrinthine meanders, intended to handle to most amount of people in the space available.

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It just kept going, and going…

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…and going and going. The term “Kafka-esque” is overused, but boy, was it ever appropriate here.

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Finally, I found myself back out on the city streets on the other side of the stadium, where it stretched for block after block…and here, I finally found the end of the line. A policemen keeping watch told me that the expected wait time at that point was over two and a half hours.

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I heard a slight flurry of activity in the distance and went to investigate. Turns out a rumor was flying that they had opened an additional entrance on a lesser-used side of Invesco Field. People were pointing, but hesitated — should they give up their precious place in line on the basis of a rumor?

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But when a very official-looking man announced that it was indeed true, everyone within earshot scrambled overland toward the new entrance at top speed, as if someone had reported finding gold nuggets in a nearby river.

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Yes, your eyes are not deceiving you: parking spaces in prime spots near the stadium were going for $80 apiece.

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It was not a fluke. There were several signs like this, and some for $60 a little further out.

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Were there protesters? Yes — a tiny few. Some communists tried to convert stalwart Democrats in one portion of the line, with little success.

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World Can’t Wait joined in, acting like cult members as usual.

As I reported earlier, I saw the members of the crazy Fred “God Hates Fags” Phelps church walking by across the street at one point, but I was unable to follow them at that moment, and when I searched for them frantically later, I could find neither hide nor hair of them. Strange.

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These two people were the only independent protesters I saw.

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This security guard gave me a free bottle of water, and then murmured, “Are you for McCain?” I gave a noncommittal “possibly” sort of shrug, but that was enough to inspire him to open his vest.

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Around the other back side of the stadium, I discovered what I think must have been the “VIP entrance” where all the politicos arrived.

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As I was leaving to come file this report, my bus passed several heavily guarded convoys like this one headed back up toward that secret entrance: the bus barely visible on the left of the photo appeared to be filled with congressmen or some other high-status guests.

And that’s what the view was like outside Invesco Field on the night of Obama’s acceptance speech.

August 28, 08:00 pm PST

Here are some quick photos from outside Invesco Field on Thursday evening. I’ll be adding to this post minute-by-minute with more images and captions. Keep refreshing for updates!

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No single photo can convey the impossibly long extent of the line. According to police I spoke to, it was nearly two miles long at one point. It zigzagged crazily back and forth from one end of Invesco’s vast series of parking lots to the other — and then continued out onto the city streets. This is just 1% of the line; imagine this same scene extending to the horizon.

August 28, 04:35 pm PST

Live-blogging from Invesco Field. Walked all the way here with 1000 potheads on the marijuana march. The scene out here is crazy; endless lines six abreast stretching for miles from every stadium entrance. Obama frenzy is palpable in the air.

Oooh — the Fred Phelps crazies just went by, carrying “God hates fags” signs. There they go.

Parking spaces are $80 each near the stadium. I saw several seniors close to fainting in the heat …

MSM members are all around in this A&W place across from Invesco, buying sodas to keep from passing out, and calling in their stories. No way I’m getting in to see The Sermon on the 50-yard line — it’s booked solid. The MSM guy next to me just told his editor that traffic is backed up five miles around the stadium.

Aug. 28, 07:56 am PST

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On Tuesday, a group called The Backbone Campaign sponsored a parade they call “Procession to the Future,” but which is better known in journalistic circles as Giant Puppets!

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Here’s a secret about parades: the best scenes are usually in the staging area, not the parade itself.

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One of several symbolic figures: individual real women throughout history are used to personify various positive attributes. And who, in the long history of humankind, was chosen to exemplify Truth? Why, it’s left-wing talk show host Amy Goodman!

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They were having quite a struggle inflating the Statue of Liberty.

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She was never quite able to achieve full erection.

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You maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!

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This sad, overheated polar bear is here to remind us about global warming.

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Amy Goodman was not the only symbolic figure. Justice, for example, is represented by Rosa Parks dressed up in what looks like a Harriet Tubman costume.

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Ralph Nader’s 2000 running mate Winona LaDuke is Respect.

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Sadako Sasaki, the Hiroshima vitim who folded a thousand origami cranes, is Peace — while that irrepressible Amy Goodman pulls a prank on a Code Pink member.

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Because commercial radio stations say things we don’t like!

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