It’s a Wonderful Leftist Life
Barry Bailout's transformation of Bedfellow Falls marches on.
December 12, 2010 - 12:02 am
When we last left our hero in Bedfellow Falls, George “Barry” Bailout was back in business providing loans once again to the working poor on the streets of Bailout Park. As you may remember, Barry was despondent after Uncle Barney somehow managed to misplace the cooked books at the Fannie and Freddie deposit window and decided to try to find a way to blame the “greedy bankers” instead.
The bank examiners were threatening to shut down the entire operation, mostly because it was based upon a sham in the first place, but Uncle Barney refused to let them examine the books, repeatedly claiming that nothing was amiss. Barry wants to travel the world, see places like Marbella and Southeast Asia. Maybe play a little golf. He’s also a little hard of hearing. This makes it very hard for him to listen to all the people around him telling him to stop losing their money, to stop putting Uncle Barney in charge of investigating Fannie and Freddie, and to start concentrating on fixing the loss of eight trillion dollars. Barry keeps telling everyone that they are crazy, stupid, and don’t understand as he drives his car into a tree, while drinking a Slurpee.
When Uncle Barney had been arrogantly lording his latest headlines from the lapdog media in everyone’s face, as he always does, the collapse came. He turned to Pelosi, the kingpin of leftist bullying tactics, and she went to work. They held secret meetings, deprived investors of key information, locked out examiners, went to work skulking behind the scenes to cram down unread and wildly unwieldy mammoth proposals that nobody wanted. Uncle Barney asks Pelosi Savings and Loan to write a blank check, using money from its depositors without their permission. Pelosi thinks of all the power that comes with all the citizens of Bedfellow Falls being in debt, cackles, and says yes, of course.
Meanwhile , Barry Bailout is overwhelmed. He’s clearly in over his head. He goes on a bender and takes a real shellacking. He looks to the heavens and is sent down a messenger, Christie Clairvoyance Odbody. Barry is shown how nanny state intrusion leads to disaster. How people are murdered when borders are treated as walking paths with no turnstiles, drug cartels ravage the states, people are groped at airports, prostitution rings are run in Uncle Barney’s basement, and Bedfellow Falls becomes Pelosiville, a degenerate pit of hedonism, graft, corruption, and other Democratic Party pastimes.