If Life Hands You Lemons, Don’t Make Lemonade without a Permit
Now, really, was what the health inspector asked of the little girl so hard to comply with? She simply needed a $120 temporary restaurant license. That may seem like quite a bit of money, but the government needs it, as health inspectors won’t hassle little girls for free. And once the license is obtained, the girl would be free to sell her lemonade, as long as she did proper accounting of her business and filled out all the relevant paperwork. That amount of work would probably mean she’d have to bring on some other employees, which would mean she’d also need proper training on non-discriminatory practices. Then she’d be set as soon as she proved she was providing her employees health care.
You see, it’s all very straight forward; I really don’t get why so many people trying to start businesses are always complaining about it. And if anyone finds the laws confusing, that’s why American society is absolutely chock full of lawyers. The important thing is to follow all these rules so we have a safe and ordered society, and if those rules make jobs harder to come by, so be it. Because when people can just do what they want, there goes order. And in the chaos, the apes will take over. See how precious your lemonade stand is when the apes are running everything. They don’t even like lemonade; they like bananas. You can try setting up a banana stand, but the apes won’t pay for them. They’ll just take them and bite you. Because they’re apes.
That’s why it’s so troubling to learn that Oregon backed down on prosecuting this little anarchist. In fact, they were so overwhelmed by the incoherent screams of the unthinking masses, they actually apologized to the tiny misanthrope. What lesson does that teach her? That she can just take matters into her own hands without the government? First she’ll have her black market lemonade, and next maybe she’ll be dress up as a bat and beat up mentally ill clowns. I guess she thinks she can do whatever she wants, and the government has no say. It’s absurd.
This obviously needs to be a federal case. You may not think that a child’s lemonade stand falls under the jurisdiction of the federal government, but as Rep. Pete Stark recently explained, the federal government has unlimited power to do anything and should really use that power more. This little girl needs to be made an example of. She should be taken away from her parents, who obviously can’t handle her anti-social tendencies, and be locked in some sort of asylum and told she will never see her family again. Let her tear-filled face be a warning to any other children who think they have power over the government. The federal government can crush all of you. It has nuclear weapons; it’s not scared of children.
Harsh, yes, but absolutely necessary. Think of the risks posed to public safety if people can suddenly do whatever they feel like without the government watching them. That isn’t to say people shouldn’t have freedom; it’s just that they should get a permit for it first.
enjoyed the article, but sarcasm aside, when are the adults going to stand up and start defying the government en masse? When every ‘revolutionary ‘is in jail, let those that are left outside enjoy their little dictatorship…
“What is America coming to when a seven-year-old girl can flout the law and defy the government?”
I got it! I got it! A realization on the part of some government parasites that being mercilessly rigorous in the application of their idiocy will result in widespread riot and them being shrugged off like the trash by their own choices they are.
Well, at least if we are all in jail, the “government” will have to provide us with free food, clothing, health care, recreation facilities etc. Everyone should strive to be in jail. I know that’s my ultimate goal in life.
In many ways Chris we already are in jail. Its just that security sucks because they haven’t had time to hire enough guards yet.
“First she’ll have her black market lemonade, and next maybe she’ll be dress up as a bat and beat up mentally ill clowns.” Excuse me while I wipe coffee off of my screen. Speaking of mentally ill clowns, however, while I don’t expect the government to prevent it, I wouldn’t buy lemonade from any seven year old that I didn’t know. Does anyone pick up hitchhikers anymore? Norman Rockwell’s America is long gone.
Not to mention allowing your seven year old to interact with strangers. We just don’t do these things anymore. They can’t even walk to school these days. At least, not without helmets and a full layer of bubble wrap.
Thomas_L::
Norman Rockwell’s America is not gone, but is slowly being raped to death.
You wouldn’t buy lemonade from any seven year old that you didn’t know, but all too many have given us a government no one should ever know first-hand in this country.
So, where’s RICO now that we really need him?
With so many snakes in the grass, it is hard to see the grass anymore …. lots of laughs.
Ah, but when the money’s gone, they will be too.
Gee, I bought lemonade from a seven-year-old I didn’t know just a week or so ago. Guess I’m lucky I’m still alive. And I was driving my truck while drinking said lemonade. Guess I’m lucky I didn’t kill somebody. I thought fifty cents for a paper cup of lemonade was a bit pricey, but you do need to take inflation into account, and the cost of all those government regulations.
“First she’ll have her black market lemonade, and next maybe she’ll be dress up as a bat and beat up mentally ill clowns.” Shouldn’t that read mentally ill clowns in the senate named Al?
Is it wrong that when I read “and next maybe she’ll be dress up as a bat and beat up mentally ill clowns” I immediately envisioned Senator Al Franken as the clown?
um, if it moves – tax it, if it slithers – pet it.
Yeah, and the inspector had a clipboard. If we are to remain a civil society, a clipboard must remain the final authority as established in Plessy vs. Schmidlap or some such.
We conservatives are looking forward to the November elections in hopes of regaining at least some control over Congress. However, this story illustrates a fact that few people are talking about. The elected officials are just the public face of government. The real government is the untold thousands of civil service bureaucrats who – at the federal, state, and local levels – actually run things everyday. Due to civil service laws, you can’t just fire them. They’re unelected and largely unaccountable to anyone. Some of them are good but a lot aren’t and there’s almost nothing any of us can do about it. About the best we can hope for is to elect people who will cut the funding for these agencies so we can starve the beast a little.
And yet if this little girl had of been on the corner selling her ass/or being filmed in porn, that same health inspector [sarcasm but sadly often TRUE] would not only Not have ticketed her but would have invited many more GOVERNMENT BIG BROTHER ILLUMINATI members to use her services. Or if in the name of RELIGION, they would have called it ‘her way into Heaven’ and of course Then ACLU would have fought for their right to use the girl in US SUPREME COURT.
Fn’ hypocrites, our government and their so called ‘fake concern’ for humans….
yep, next time, little children, don’t sell lemonade, instead sell yourself–and rest assured, good ole big brother and his demon minions will be all to happy to oblige. Just ask the traffickers and the johns and sacrificial houses to Molech all over this nation and the world…
especially the ones housed right here in GOOD OLE WASHINGTON D.C.
Brilliant! The sad thing is, I’m sure there are a lot of people out there who really believe this kind of thing.
Look, we’re at 9.5% unemployment, or double that, depending on how you manipulate the statistics. OF COURSE the gov’t had to allow the lemonade stand to operate. You said it yourself, Frank: Jobs! There will be Jobs! for the accountant and lawyer and the paper-pushers. The little girl will have to sell overpriced lemonade 24 hours a day to pay the taxes and salaries, and will soon have too little to purchase supplies and will go out of business, leaving those workers without Jobs! but hey, that’s somebody else’s problem, right?
Jon “But we still need to put the public’s health first.” Kawaguchi
the so-called environmental health supervisor and Fascist
that stopped the little girls Lemonade stand…
Is that the same Jon Kawaguchi from the band called TURD HELMET?
which I guess an environmentally sound concept… Ya know, crap in your
helmet not on the ground… to protect the public’s health…
oh never mind
I just hope OSHA also showed up to make sure the stand is ergonomically safe and won’t cause carpal tunnel syndrome in this little girl.
Was the lumber used to build her stand treated with toxic chemicals? If so, shut it down.
And, the EPA better require her to do an environmental study on the location of her stand to make sure it doesn’t negatively impact the snail darter or spotted owl.
How do we know the water she’s using to make the lemonade is safe? Send a team of inspectors from the water department to test it.
I also hope the Corps of Engineers was there to make sure the stand wasn’t in a flood zone.
And maybe Michelle Obama can take time away from her busy schedule in Spain to ensure the sugar content of the lemonade isn’t too high.
And what about the lemons used to make the lemonade – were they union workers who picked them and were withholding taxes paid?
And let’s not forget the IRS – will they make sure this girl gets a tax ID number & fills out a W-2 form?
“See how precious your lemonade stand is when the apes are running everything.”
“Get your dirty hands off me, you filthy ape! It’s a maaaddhouse!” R.I.P. Charlton Heston.
I am so glad the Oregon officials stepped in and saved the country,possibly the world from a horrible pandemic. I they had not stopped the 7 year old,it is very likely that we would all have come down with “Lemoncolitis”,and would have had to have gotten thousands of dollars worth of shots to rid us of the disease. Thank you Oregon, I hope the other states follow suit!!!!
NO LEMONADE STANDS WITHOUT PROPER DOCUMENTS….. REMEMBER THAT OR PAY THE PRICE
Don’t worry – Obamacare has a plan for Lemoncolitis.
We have an orderly society Id say the great salad bowl mixes all US folks together and being many how can U have order? Who says Apes don’t “even like lemonade; they like bananas. You can try setting up a banana stand, but the apes won’t pay for them. They’ll just take them and bite you. Because they’re apes”.The bureaucrat who closed the Childs stand must be from the Do U know who I am? Clan Im doing my job
thanks good paper. well read.
It’s great to know the government is on the case. Don’t know what we’d do without their munificent oversight. Some Islamic Imam or other would probably be building a Mosque at Ground Zero or something outrageous like that.
It’s not just lemonade people are trying to kill their fellow citizens with. They’re also murdering children by selling burp cloths that haven’t been tested for lead, and killing their moms by making unauthorized lip balms.
LOL! Frank J. all cleaned up, respectable and posting on Pajamas Media! But still just as funny.
Mr. Fleming, Jonathan Swift salutes you. That was indeed a masterful piece of satire. My compliments to your creator.
Its the Feds that should have closed her down! It falls under interstate commerce, since Lemons came from Florida!
At seven, she already has more business experience than all of the current administration.
OF The houses of ill repute in DC high end ones use the SS to screen costumers, low end ones include the virus of the day, be sure to wash before and after,is this fair? NO. If The little girl is on private property and takes in less then 5865.00 in profits she is grasping capitalism. As with any product or service its buyer beware. People in DC have pics of rats, not mice, dinning after hours in DC restaurants. Our gov. can’t even police their own ineptness, ex the SEC and madoff case, if this where even half right 20% of the SEC would be at getmo or shot, cause its called treason and traders are shot not rewarded, with new JOBS in the same field.
She must have been using non-sugar sweetener in her lemonade, otherwise she surely when have remained closed due to the obesity crisis.