Comments on: I Got My Nuclear Reactor Through the New York Times:

By: rosario petuzzio

rosario petuzzio — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 03:51:25 +0000

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By: MOSHE RABEYNU

MOSHE RABEYNU — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 21:38:28 +0000

CHILDREN MUST BE INCULCATED AS TO THE BENEFITS OF MASTURBATION IN THE ATTAINMENT AND MAINTENANCE OF A HEALTHY MIND AND A HEALTHY BODY! PENT UP SEXUAL FRUSTRATION IN CHILDREN HAS NEVER BEEN HONESTLY AND ADEQUATELY DISCUSSED AND DEALT WITH IN JEWISH DISCOURSE AND DOCTRINE. MODERN LIFESTYLES AFFORD INDIVIDUALS THE PRIVACY AND HYGIENIC FACILITIES NECESSARY TO MASTURBATE IN A PRIVATE, DIGNIFIED AND SANITARY MANNER. ONE CAN WELL UNDERSTAND THE IRE THAT WAS AROUSED BY MASTURBATING INDIVIDUALS FOUR THOUSAND YEARS AGO WHEN AN ENTIRE LARGE FAMILY LIVED TOGETHER IN A TENT IN AN ARID LOCATION. NOBODY WANTED TO HAVE A WAD OF FLYING JISSUM HIT HIM IN THE EYE OR LAND IN HIS HUMUS. WATER WAS SCARCE AND ONE HAD TO WALK , SOMETIMES LONG DISTANCES, TO THE WELL TO GET IT, IF IT WAS AVAILABLE AT ALL. UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES IT WAS A CHOICE OF WATER FOR DRINKING OR WATER FOR WASHING EJACULATE OFF OF ONE’S HANDS. THIS IS WHY THE EARLY SAGES WERE SO VOCIFEROUS IN THEIR CONDEMNATION OF MASTURBATION. WE JEWISH PEOPLE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A HORNY BUNCH AND, IF THERE WEREN’T THESE SEVERE STRICTURES AGAINST MASTURBATION AT THAT TIME, THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN ERRANT CUMSTAINS ALL OVER THE PLACE AND THE SMELL OF FRESHLY RELEASED JISSUM WOULD HAVE WAFTED FAR AND WIDE, EVEN WITHIN THE HALLOWED HALLWAYS OF THE SACRED TEMPLE ITSELF. TIMES HAVE CHANGED. IF PARENTS TODAY STRESS THE BENEFITS OF MASTURBATION TO THEIR CHILDREN, THEY WILL HELP LESSEN THE OCCURRENCE OF STDs, AND UNPLANNED PREGNANCIES. SCHOLARSHIP LEVELS WOULD INCREASE DRAMATICALLY WITH THE RELEASE OF PENT UP ADOLESCENT EJACULATORY TENSION.. IF NECESSARY, PARENTS SHOULD SET AN EXAMPLE FOR THEIR CHILDREN AS TO THE PROPER METHODOLOGY FOR THIS ACTIVITY AND FOLLOW UP AND MAKE SURE THAT THEIR CHILDREN ARE MASTURBATING REGULARLY AT AN OPTIMUM FREQUENCY. KEEPING A MASTURBATION DIARY COULD BE A VERY USEFUL TOOL IN MAINTAINING THE PROPER SCHEDULE. EVERY PARENT SHOULD ASK HIS CHILDREN ON A DAILY BASIS, “DID YOU DO YOUR HOMEWORK AND MASTURBATE TODAY?” OH, OF COURSE, THE CHABADNIKS AND THE FRUMNIKS WILL YELL OUT, “BUT RAMBAM SAID THIS, AND RASHI SAID THAT AND RABBI AKIVA SAID THIS, AND THAT, ABOUT THE EVILS OF MASTURBATION.” PROBABLY ALL THREE OF THEM WERE MASTURBATING WHILE THEY WERE WRITING THESE STRICTURES, ANOTHER CASE OF “DO AS I SAY, NOT AS I DO”. WE MUST NOT CONTINUE TO LET OTHERS DO OUR THINKING FOR US UNDER THE GUISE OF RELIGIOUS EXPERTISE. SHALOM AND ZEI GEZUNT!

By: MOSHE RABEYNU

MOSHE RABEYNU — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 21:45:41 +0000

One day, while I was vacationing in Hong Kong, I misplaced the key to my hotel room. I called the hotel manager and told him that I needed a new key as soon as possible. Three minutes later, a prostitute showed up at my door saying “Manager tell me you want nooky quick-quick. You give me hundred dollar, I give you number one nooky!” I tried to explain to the young woman, “No, I want a NEW KEY, not your nooky!” She got angry and yelled at me, You want nooky but not MY nooky! What wrong with MY nooky? My nooky clean, just wash this morning!” “You don’t understand me”, I told her, “I need a NEW KEY!”. “And I need hundred dollar!”, she replied at the top of her voice. “Well“, I thought to myself, “since I can’t leave without a new key, I might as well avail myself of the opportunity.” That is when I got my Chinese nickname. When I took my drawers down, the young woman exclaimed, “You hung so lo!, you hung so lo!” “No, I told her, my name is Moshe Rabeynu, I’m not Hung So Lo. I’m not even half-Chinese.” “For China“ she replied “you hung so lo!” So that is how I became known as Moshe “Hung So Lo” Rabeynu in China. I went to the hotel manager and told him, “ I need a new key for my room!” “I already send up nooky for you”, he told me and added, “number one nooky. What the matter, she no go your room?” “Yes,” I answered, “a girl came to my room, and yes, she was quite spectacular and I gave her a tryout but she wasn’t what I really wanted. I need a New Key!” “Ah, now I understand”, said the manager, you no want girl nooky. You want new key from Sum Yung Boi! I get Sum Yung Boi for you!” “No, No”, I exclaimed quite embarrassed, “I do not want some young boy. I want a new key!” The manager appeared to be losing his patience and exclaimed, “If you want new key, you have to get Sum Yung Boi to go to room!” “But sir”, I tried to explain, “I am not gay. If some young boy came to my room, it would be a waste of time!” “How can be waste of time”, he answered, “you want new key, Sum Yung Boi give you new key!” With this, the manager picked up his phone and spoke rapidly into it. “I paged for Sum Yung Boi, he be here soon!” , he told me. I was mortified and wanted to leave the lobby but the manager continued conversing, “Before, when you asked over phone for new key, I thought you wanted nooky. Ha Ha Ha, we have misunderstanding. Now I realize that all time you needed Sum Yung Boi!” “No No“, I responded, worrying that I would never be understood, “I don’t want some young boy. I’m not gay! I need a NEW KEY, A NEW KEY!” At this moment an elderly man came up to us dressed in some kind of work uniform. “Here is Sum Yung Boi”, said the manager, “He go up to room with you and give you new key. Make you happy” “But, I don’t want nooky from this fellow, and, besides how can you call him some young boy? He looks to be seventy or seventy five years old.” The manager looked as if he reached his point of exasperation and yelled at me, “This man’s name is Sum Yung Boi! He is locksmith for hotel! He will check lock to room and give you NEW KEY! You want New Key for room from Sum Yung Boi or not?” “Yes”, I replied, totally embarrassed. “I’ll go up to my room with Mr. Sum Yung Boi and he will give me a new key. I‘m sorry for the misunderstanding!”

By: moshe rabeynu

moshe rabeynu — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 04:07:54 +0000

I had a nightmare last night and I am still shaking. I know there must be some deep and hidden meaning behind it and I am hoping that someone out there might be able to help me interpret this dream as Joseph helped the Pharaoh. I dreamt that I was the meat in the sandwich between Tzippi Livni and Sarah Palin, you know what I mean, that I was “Lucky Pierre”. But, in this dream, upon my awakening in the morning, I had a terrible taste in my mouth and found myself between Golda Meir and Madeline Albright. Oy, gottenyu!!

By: Knut Holt

Knut Holt — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 21:59:39 +0000

This is probably a way of making redicule of USA and the western world.

Or perhaps the announce was not from Iran at all?

By: swede1962

swede1962 — Wed, 02 May 2007 15:06:29 +0000

Would someone please explain why a country that is sitting on such HUUUUUUUUUUUGE oil reserves would want to explore “peaceful” nuclear energy? If you believe that, I have a nice new suspension bridge here in Tacoma I could sell to you.

By: Happy Smacktard

Happy Smacktard — Tue, 01 May 2007 02:33:41 +0000

Huh. I guess Craigslist hasn’t
swiped their classifieds yet…

By: OmegaPaladin

OmegaPaladin — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 17:46:25 +0000

I severely doubt there is anything civilian about Iran’s nuclear program. When you scream about about the evils of the “Zionist Entity” and boast that it’s a one bomb state, people are going to suspect that you aren’t simply interested in clean energy.

By: mishu

mishu — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 17:33:39 +0000

You know, it might be in our interest to take the gig. Manage it like a typical big city project. Load up the staff with ghost pay rollers. Impose strict union work standards. With enough cost overruns, you could kill the project altogether.

By: Cecil Turner

Cecil Turner — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 16:28:14 +0000

In the first place, light water reactors are generally concsidered the best choice because they are less prone to proliferation concerns (the low-enriched uranium fuel is an issue, but at least it doesn't put out plutonium waste) . . . and it's been discussed before as part of an anti-nuclear weapons package for Iran. In the second place, the NNPT specifically enjoins participants to cooperate in this sort of thing:

Parties to the Treaty in a position to do so shall also co-operate in contributing alone or together with other States or international organizations to the further development of the applications of nuclear energy for peaceful purposes, especially in the territories of non-nuclear-weapon States Party to the Treaty, with due consideration for the needs of the developing areas of the world.

Not sure it's feasible to try to hold Iran to the pertinent treaty, whilst simultaneously refusing to abide by it ourselves. In any event, the concern over these particular reactors seems to me misplaced.