Accept gay marriage… I think. This is a confusing one. Obama says he is against gay marriage, yet I get this feeling that he gets mad at us when we’re against gay marriage too. So I think we’re supposed to be for it, but that seems wrong because then we’re contradicting him. Maybe he’s trying to teach us a lesson that even he can be wrong about some things… but definitely don’t go too far with that lesson, or that will make him super mad.
Reelect him. I think the ultimate way to get Obama to like us is to reelect him. Maybe this first term is just a test, and if we pass it and reelect him, then he’ll finally be nice to us and try to help the country. That’s why it’s super important that we all vote for him, because what if he just barely gets reelected? He’ll be humiliated and will be even meaner to us in his second term — he’ll start giving Mexican drug cartels huge discounts on guns, and we’ll never see another rainbow. You don’t even want to know what he’ll do to the economy. And it will be all our fault for making Obama not like us… though I’ll mainly blame the fat kids.