How To Kill Americans: A Guide to the Really Effective Ways
The new al-Qaeda magazine called Inspire has created quite a stir with its articles explaining various ways to kill Americans. Yet despite the presence of no less than three American citizens on the terrorist publication’s staff this is pure amateurish stuff.
For example, the magazine advises would-be terrorists to use pick-up trucks to mow down American pedestrians. This shows ignorance of the fact that pick-up trucks are too proletarian for elite American areas unless they are from lawn services and are carrying actual mowers. Elsewhere, any privately owned pick-up truck probably has anti-terrorist, pro-American bumper stickers, so unless the terrorists engaged in such camouflage they would probably fail.
Such a strategy, then, would only succeed in killing or injuring ordinary Americans. If these clueless terrorists knew anything about the United States they would understand that elite policy makers, decision makers, and opinion makers wouldn’t care about that. Instead, an SUV with an Obama bumper sticker would probably be far more effective at luring elite Americans into a state of complacency after which they can be run over with ease. Another al-Qaeda idea is to bomb restaurants in Washington, D.C., with the hope of dismembering a few government officials. This, too, is a questionable technique. The Obama administration, as part of its counterterrorist policy, has pledged to hire ten new bureaucrats for each one slain by terrorists.
Moreover, with the first lady’s food campaigns, government officials will soon only be permitted to eat at restaurants that serve carrots instead of potatoes, don’t use salt, and don’t serve soft drinks. All those restaurants will quickly go bankrupt, so that’s out, too.
Given the constant injunctions to understand what drives people to terrorism, to feel sorry for terrorists, and to engage them in dialogue, however, I have decided to give al-Qaeda some help. Here, then, are my top suggestions of how to kill Americans:
Deny them liberty. Americans thrive on high levels of freedom. For them, the ability to make decisions for themselves is akin to oxygen. Reduce this ability to make their own choices and you have deployed the equivalent of krypton to weaken Superman.
Spend them into oblivion. Increasing deficits will saddle future generations with impossible debt. Government spending and unfunded pension funds, among other methods, will so demoralize Americans that they will fall over like bowling pins. Increase government regulation. America has thrived on free enterprise, initiative, and entrepreneurship. It’s no accident that people speak of the economy being strangled, one of the most effective and popular ways of murdering people.
Wonderful irony.
Getting Americans to abondon God and begin worshipping the environment and celebrities instead might also help.
Thank you for pointing that out, Mark. This was actually number 1 in the liberal playbook.
I see you’ve been taking a peek at President Barack Hussein Obama’s playbook!
Not that I begin to believe that Obama is doing these things out of malice, rather he truly believes that he is taking bold and positive steps to do good for America.
More the pity.
Considering his Marxist upbringing and grooming, how could you doubt he is doing this on purpose? He may never serve another term, but he got most of what they wanted this term.
Mr. Rubin:
Help, I’m dying of laughter. Very good!
It’s also noteworthy that al-Qaeda isn’t stupid enough to advocate terrorists attack in areas outside of the “blue” states. Probably for the same reason that Islamist and Palestinian terrorists long ago gave up doing “suicide attacks” in Israel itself, in favor of “remote control” attacks by rocket bombardment, etc.
Simply put, in both cases, the attacker is highly likely to be shot dead before they can pull the pin, or whatever. As opposed to areas like Europe, or anywhere in the U.S. that latte’ is the only version of coffee you can get in any eatery, where the local “leaders” will respond by wailing “But why did you attack us? We’re the ones who agree with you!” (as Michael Moore did after 9/11).
As for the desire of our present leadership to destroy us, it’s been patently obvious since the end of WW II that the “enlightened elite’”, irrespective of political party, hate, fear, and despise the average American. They also have an unhealthy obsession with socialism, primitivism, and feudalism (all with themselves being the nobility, of course).
And when you call them out on their activities, they just look at you as if you are a low-grade moron. To them, they are Doing The Right Thing- and think you’re an idiot for not understanding that.
Which means there is as little chance of ever reaching a “common ground” as there is with the likes of Osama bin Laden. In both cases, the only way we will ever satisfy our tormentors is by letting them run the world as they please- which means we must be ready and willing to serve them, and/or die on cue.
There is not much room for “negotiation” when the other side’s definition of “compromise” equals “obey or die”.
And considering the fulminations of John Holdren, Saul Alinsky, et al., compared to the “enlightened ones”, Al-Qaeda & Co. are pikers in that department.
clear ether
eon
People either forget, or aren’t aware that on 9/11/01, Michael Moore wrote on his blog that he didn’t understand why the terrorists would target a “good” blue state like New York (where people were enlightened and shared the terrorists’ antipathy toward America) instead of a “bad” red state like Texas. Instead of condemning the 9-11 attacks, Moore condemned the locations of the attacks — his only lament was that the attacks had not been directed at parts of America that he didn’t like. Even more amazingly, Moore assumed that the terrorists attacks came as some kind of reprisal for the result of the Florida election 2000 recount (which, obviously, resulted in the Bush presidency). As such, Moore considered the attacks to be justified and righteous in their nature, but misdirected in their implementation.
Moore was never called to the carpet for those comments (which disappeared from his blog a day or so after they were published), but they were revealing. Perhaps even more revealing was the fact that a mere three years after publishing those comments on his blog, Michael Moore was treated as a guest of honor at the 2004 Democratic convention, where he was further honored by being seated in the Presidential luxury box next to Jimmy Carter during most of the convention’s major speeches (including John Kerry’s “reporting for duty” acceptance speech).
Although it may sound like bombastic hyperbole, Michael Moore a truly deranged man who hates himself with every fiber of his being (and that’s a lot of fibers of being!). But since he redirects his self-hatred and loathing at enemies of the Left (namely, America, capitalism, conservatives, etc.), he’s treated as an angel of righteousness by the guardians of our media and popular culture.
Our self proclaimed elite want to be the nobles and royals in a neo feudal society they are hoping to create, the roll for the rest of us is serfs. Welcome to the world the left is busy trying to create.
Great stuff. Just don’t let it get out too much. Someone might take you up on it.
So what you are impling is. . . .oblammo is a terrorist/sympathiser? who woulda thunk it?!
“Spend them into oblivion.” Unfortunately, you may have a point here. This was the tactic used against the Soviet Union and it worked. Reagan spent billions building up our military and the Soviet Union just couldn’t keep up. Eventually, the Soviet Union went bankrupt and the Cold War ended.
England, on the other hand, spent itself into oblivion winning World War II and, as a result, lost an empire after 1945. So sometimes you spend a lot of money and win a war, like the Cold War, or you spend a lot of money and win a war but lose the peace, like England.
I think we’re in danger now of ending up like England. Years of irresponsible spending has take a toll on our economy and has exploded our debt. We may now end up like England did after World War II, a second-rate power that was losing influence and military strength around the world. Are we still a force to be reckoned with? Sure we are. But if we continue on this horrible spending binge, we’ll be broke and unable to project much power around the world, letting regional thugs like China or Iran dominate sensitive trading routes off their coasts. We will see the sun set on the “American Century,” which was the 20th century, and the 21st century will only demostrate how yet another great power has faded from the global scene.
What the rest of the world has to worry about, though, is who will take our place. If the rest of the world actually thinks China or Iran will be better global partners than the United States, the world is a lot dumber than I thought. Can we stop this from happening? Sure we can, but it will take a lot of work and sacrifice. November 2nd could be the first step in the right direction, but only if we really mean it. This time, though, I think Americans are ready for some real change. Make it happen.
well said, Liberty!!
You forgot that the Jackass in Chief is forecasting ‘hand to hand’ combat after November; This means that Americans will be endowed with Karate, Jujitsu, Aikido, and many other forms of martial arts simply because he ‘deems’ it.
God; I’m feeling more in shape than I have in a long time.
BUT, I KNOW IT’S NOT GOING TO BE CHEAP!!!
You forgot a biggie: in the guise of going green, saving the planet, and reducing their carbon footprint, cripple their mobility, manufacturing base and access to energy. By preventing Americans from using their natural resources, they will become even more dependent on Saudi oil, giving the Saudis more money to support terror, and enabling their enemies to take their natural resources with no competition (China and Cuba can drill without restrictions in the Gulf).
Maybe all of the above show why the liberal demented have more consideration for islamic murderers then their fellow Americans. Damn, they’re allies.
I’m watching you; So are many other un-named AMERICANS. Probably the DEA, FBI, ANC, CIA, DOJ, DOI; AND THE MEXICAN INTELLIGENCE AGENCY!!!!!!!
You can escape this only being an extremely rare Primitive American Tribe Member.
Please submit your DNA sample to the Department of justice in Washington, D.C.
Very funny article, very sad. Adina, if you see this, I am 80 pages into your brother’s tome and it is good. Best line so far was when he forgot the code while arresting the Torah thief. “Don’t move, don’t move, don’t move!” Classic line. Amazing guy.
Mr. Rubin,You could have saved yourself a lot of trouble by simply writing:”The way to kill many Americans is to vote democrat”.
It sounds like Inspire magazine may be getting some of its ideas from that traitor Adam Gadahn.
Some recent fatwas have shown influences of that moron providing al-Zawahiri & friends with “insights” into America and Americans.
Yes, our very own Leftoids are killing off the American spirit far more effectively by the means you suggest.
Congratulations on the article.
Another move might be: Get them to believe you are incompetent and incapable of such subtlety and that it’s all unfortunately happened by accident, or even, that it happened because it wasn’t done enough.
SHHHH! Didn’t you get the memo??! This is where we’re all supposed to wail “Noo, please please don’t bomb DC restaurants, especially near K Street, or Capitol Hill, or DIA” and then wring our hands for a while
You left off “Elect a Republican President“.
It was probably left off with good reason….with the exception of course of Abraham Lincoln who probably single-handedly killed more Americans than all our succeeding wars.
Ah, but have we forgotten the role of the Courts? Yes, let’s never, ever, ever, use the word “terrorist!” or for that matter “Muslim!” (See “The View” for evidence on this topic). And, whether it’s a Mahar Arar suing the Canadian government ’cause he claimed “torture!” (sans any doctor’s evidence) and received 11 Million Canadian dollars, or a Sudanese individual who claims “torture!” but this time is demanding a mere 27 million dollars — just remember those magic words to receive untold millions of dollars — “Muslim” and “Torture by Infidels!” So, here’s how you go about it: 1) Hang around terrorists at mosques in Canada 2)Ship out to the Sudan 3) Next, try to get back to Canad-duh — and make sure there’s a “delay” of some sort 4) Upon arrival back to Canad-duh, Claim during the delay that you were — wait for it — “tortured! Tortured I tell You!” 5) Hire a lawyer, preferably Muslim, then sue. 6) Canadians, being the dumbest on earth, will quickly and eagerly hand over any amount of money necessary (just “Muslim” plus “torture” should be sufficient!)
Priceless.
Just for good measure, I would scrape my face on the garage floor, blow my nose until it bled and scrawl on my torso, “Killer of Cracker Babies”
Now, rush to the phone, dial up the local paper and yell, “HAAAAATE CRRRRIME!!!!!”
What do you think? How much? Great!
Damn! Anyone here got a magic marker?
Very seldom to I listen to talk radio. Fortunately, I pushed the AM button while driving home and heard Rush Limbaugh earlier this week. About 30 seconds into his monologue, he commented how Mahmoud Ahmadinejad talks like the Dimocratic candidates. Sounds just like them.
And after reading this commentary and comments, I think you guys and gals are on to something.
P.S. – Somebody start the “BC” meter – the more he replies, the more effective the article at administering real truth.
You left out term limits. Keep the lazy, fat bastages around as long as possible. Keep oblah, blah, blah or equivalent endlessly in office might help, too.
If I wanted to take down a city is such a way that caused a major panic that shook the country to the bone this is how I would do it.:
I would chose a lesser city than New York, LA, Chicago or DC – someplace like Houston, Dallas, Denver, Atlanta, Miami, Boston, etc.
Having collected an effective nerve agent in sufficient volume to be used in multiple locations and several hundred gallons of gasoline that was placed in containers in a manner to make for effective bombs I would attack in this order PROBABLY ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON –
First, I would have one team drive vehicle bombs to hit the emergency wards of the half dozen or so major emergency room drive-ups of the major hospitals in the city.
At the same time I would have picked out a number of the larger high schools, knowing that during the sports season most of these schools have rallies on Friday afternoons, I’d have a combination of truck bombs and gas teams hit these rallies causing as much damage and mayhem as is possible.
Also I would have individual gas hits made on a number of mass transit stations, firebombings in several office buildings, and several general crowd hits on city streets with truck bombs or suicide bombers walking the sidewalks.
I’d also like set up secondary follow ups to catch the crowds and emergency responders.
With the Hospital receiving areas out of action and the large and spread out areas suffering casualties including many among the emergency workers, a series of attacks like this would cause such mayhem to a city that the ensuing panic nationwide would paralyze the whole country and would actually far exceed the long term effects of a 911 style attack. It could probably be pulled of with 30 or less individuals – maybe less than 19 if the attackers sequenced their attack correctly.
Believe you me, the fact that Hospitals don’t have FAR better protection to keep such attacks on their Emergency receiving areas drives me absolutely nuts.
I see this every time I go by a Hospital and just think about how easy it would be to put that facility out of action and it scares the Hell out of me that so few people try to anticipate these sorts of things…AND the rally issue at schools who need to do far more to keep vehicles and unauthorized people from close access to auditoriums and such.
The rest is mostly similar to the London attack.
We’ve been VERY lucky so far.
Somehow I think you missed the subtlety of Mr. Rubin’s rather sarcastic treatise. He did not mean to actually SLAY Americans, but that the current administration and its minions are killing us with kindness, intrusiveness, and bubbleheadedness.
To complicated, to many people, to many things that could go wrong or get the plot revealed.
Step 1: Get some unobtainium.
17 BC Derivative,palpably absurd ans silly. You need to do beter than that.Clearly the impending demtard electoral catastrophe is affecting your mind.
deguello babbled: 17 BC Derivative,palpably absurd ans silly. You need to do beter than that.Clearly the impending demtard electoral catastrophe is affecting your mind.
There is no incoherent numbnut like a right wing numbnut.
Bush and his people, along with Tony Blair and his crew, lied their butts off to justify taking out Hussein, which obviously turned out a bit trickier than they thought. The Republican-controlled Senate participated in this bloody, destructive fiasco by first participating in the smear campaign against former ambassador Joe Wilson (who ironically stood up to Hussein during the first Gulf War), which included blowing the cover of his CIA “noc” wife Valerie Plame (yes, she was actually truly a covert, active CIA agent), and then by using their majority committee powers to stall for years the final report of the investigation into prewar intelligence. Actually it wasn’t until the Republicans lost their control of the Senate that the investigation final moved on to completion.
So again, the best way to kill Americans (for no good reason), as well as encourage venal smearing and deception, is to vote Republican this November.
Bitchie, is Goldstein jamming your telescreen again?
Mr. Lucky wrote: Bitchie, is Goldstein jamming your telescreen again?
Thanks for demonstrating my comment about how incoherent (and crazy) right wing numbnuts can be.
Sure Bitchie. Bitchie * (not) = bad = “right wing numbnuts” = automatic knee jerk. Simple, something a Bitchie can consume.
A Modern Liberal I know is going to a get out the vote party tonight. He’ll relate your admission to Goldstein there.
Interesting, everyone has been issued a Mr. President mask, a donkey tail and some pins.
Goldstein destroys worlds. Mr. President just wants your life.
The self-anointed ‘wicked smart urban elites’ like you BC, are just comic relief at this point. The country is poised to pass judgment on you imbeciles and everything you stand for and dismiss you for another 30 years and the best defense you have the same moonbat maunderings you’ve been pushing for 8 years. There is nothing sadder at this point than an a$$hat leftist so stuck on stupid that he’s still trying to defend Obama and crew by bleating out incoherent BDS nonsense from the progressive sheep cot.
Just Passing Through wrote: the same old, same old incoherent, unsubstantiated, defensive rubbish.
You, deguello and Mr. Lucky probably think the Dark Ages and the Inquisition were misrepresented by liberal, elitist historians. If you guys were in Germany in the 1930′s, you probably would have been then accusing other Germans of “HDS”.
DINGDINGDINDING!!!! We have a winner, ladies and gentlemen!
Though I am astonished it took you this long to drag out and reanimate Hitler’s corpse. Bonus points for not immediately playing the racism card, though, you must be the most self-controlled leftist in American history!
This would be a really funny article if it was not already true. Our government is full of Treason for these United States.
a better way elect an moron as president with a vendetta again one country another committed a terrorist act in the country declare war on both with out a plan on how to fight it create a quagmire or a civil war hire a company that has ties to the Vice president allow him to Torture suspects. guilty or innocent and sign a bill that take away habius corpus so they can take you way without letting any body know where u are at there discretion. allow the Greedy on Wall Street to run wild till the ruin the economy. in witch company’s fold and job are lost homes are repossessed.add to that a bunch of idiots running around the country tell people that this is some kind of Marxist scheme that our president has witch is a bald faced lie then mix in commentators that wouldn’t know there ass from a hat scaring the hell out of people and a congress that don’t want to cooperate and solve the problems that we and most are in the pockets of the lobbyist for big farma Wall Street and other groups giving blow job for campaign money must be nice to have your own whore house in Washington Dc. and the major corp. can buy the elections http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKZKETizybw and this vhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttVTBVPhcLU and this too http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8BqvJO5t4k
Punctuation is your friend, as is capitalization. Also, look up the word ‘homophone.’ It won’t save you from the fact you’re an ignorant idiot, but at least you won’t look /quite/ so illiterate when typing your silly rants.
Obviously the public education system, that did such a poor job of teaching you to spell correctly, did an absolutely marvelous job brain washing you into libtard dementia…
And what mosque are you a mullah for? I want to pray in front of you.
My turn.
The Incredible Shrinking Intellect, schwertman/sleazits. You really know what a blow job is? Really now. Did you vote for Mr. President too?
Notice that those complicated links are perfectly formatted. Why do that right? Why? You “blew” a perfectly good vomit. Why? Yeah. The schwertman/sleazits frustration level is Code Pink.
Nice Kick Me sign nailed to your ass.
Is this robo-spam? Is there a link to bargain shoes or something in there? Or has your Babel fish died?
Ideas. Intriguing. Newsletter.
I just read where Code Pink group, whoever they are, funded terrorists in Fallujah and to get the funds there they had accompanying letters from Barbie Boxer and Hank Waxoff? This really makes for a night of more disturbed sleep.
Code Pink is a bunch of aging feminazis (but I repeat myself) who protest naked and painted pink.
Code Pink is one of the hard left groups that, with the overt support of the Berkeley City Council, protested against the USMC officer recruiting station in that fair city. Remember, the city council called the Marines “unwelcome and uninvited intruders?”
As for myself, I was astonished that Berkeley provided sufficient applicants that the Marines found it worthwhile to have an office there. Takes all kinds, even in Berkeley.
Want to kill Americans? Here is a few ideas. . These will cause good Americans to kill themselves.
Show a constant flow of tapes of Gloria Allred, Barbra Boxer, Nancy Pelossi and Michelle Obama (focus on her ass).
Distribute free condoms that have been soaked in habanero sauce.
Convince all males that they aren’t a man unless they look like Ron Jeremy.
Convince women that anorexic is beautiful.
Convince Americans that rattlesnakes make good pets.
Raise the speed limit by thirty miles an hour across the board.
Teach sky diving without parachutes.
Finally promise Americans that Borack Obama will be re-elected.
Did these guys think of this: Pretend to be handsome, or even take handsome lessons in order to date many desirable
American women and make them pregnant. Then, when the babies are born, pass out cigars to everyone. But (and here’s the fun/terrorist part) the cigars EXPLODE and kill many infidels in a lethal but humorous manner. Praise Allah. Death to Emerika.
Barry Rubin – Are you using irony or sarcasm by telling them, in effect, to act like Democrats?
Loved the article, but then again, the reality of it all sickens me. Let’s do what we can on 11/2 to put a strangle-hold on this albatross.
This looks very much like the GOP platform, and the laundry list of Bush administration accomplishments. It’s been clear for some time that the GOP is working on the same project as al Qaeda.
Republican government led to the suspension of habeas corpus, the out of control national debt, the suppression of homosexuals, the redistribution of wealth toward the rich, massive financial collapse due to deregulation, war based on false pretenses, increasing deaths due to health insurance company abuses, the Citizens United decision, which has left ordinary Americans to compete with foreign corporations for access to the airwaves for election advertising…
If anything, the GOP and al Qaeda have been after the same thing since the start. War on Terror? Who can take such a thing seriously?
Peace.
DS
TAKE YOUR MED’S!
You been talking to Goldstein too? Gee Mr. S, you always “seemed” so thoughtful… Sort of.
David, let me help you with a few things.
Suspension of habeas corpus, You don’t grant rights to foreign nationals who are attacking us and trying to kill us.
Out of control national debt. The highest national debt ever was created by Obama administration. This was followed by the second highest debt
also from the Obama administration.
Redistribution of wealth to the rich. I always thought that freedom means that you are free to create wealth …. maybe then you should be able to keep it. I didn’t see Bush tax the poor and give it to the rich.
Massive financial collapse due to deregulation. The way I understand what caused the massive financial collapse was the implementation of the Community Redevelopement Act. The Act was passed during the Carter administration and implemented during the Clinton administration. You can’t give huge loans to people who don’t earn a living. The banks were forced to do so by Clinton.
War based on false pretenses. It is just coming out now that Saddam Hussein was an admirer of Al Queda. The extent of which he helped them has been kept quite by this administration. After all Bush is supposed to be the bad guy.
As for the rest, I don’t know enough to comment on them, so I’ll even give them to you as wins.
Other than that, get your facts straight. Ooops I forgot, you’re a liberal.
BC and DAVID S(H-T )I was right :anxiety over the coming demtard electoral catastrophe has affected your minds.BC: Bush lied etc.blh blah blah… trite slanderous cliches are as poor a substitute for strategic analysis as Obama’s “shovel ready”jobs are for real employment. As for David S(for stalinist)ranting attacks on what he feels is the GOP platform, Your attack on the SCOTUS decision on Citizen’s United ,reveals you as yet another freedom hating liberal(read closet Stalinist). For your information,David, 53% of corporate money has gone to the democrats,while the camarilla of wall street plutocrats who destroyed the economy, are among Obama’s biggest donors.Finally,it was the idiot Bush who signed the Mcain-Feingold free-speech repression law,ultimately leading to the SCOTUS decision.Nice to know that the left and the establihment GOP agree on something! See ya at the polls … LOSERS!
I don’t find anything funny about some terrorist publication touting ways to kill Americans. I guess I am just tired of this whole terrorist thing and the fact that the USA won’t do anything about it.
Look people, the “Anointed One” makes his chess move’s and us babbling humans need to realize that the unbelieving conspiracy “heathen” understate the issues when they say that Obama is a radical. Alas, they know not the secrets we are all going to witness. The “Anointed One” is amazing, he takes the people at the highly efficient Post Office and sends them right over to the Student Loan Program. The “Anointed One” knows all. Twitter messages were machine-gunned to cell phones at mach speed. Facebook and MySpace groups spread across the Internet like digital fire. YouTube videos featuring celebrities ricocheted across the globe and into college students’ in-boxes with devastating regularity. All the while, the Obama mega-money-raising engine whirred on at high speed, until the result became inevitable: an unthinking mass of young voters marched forward to elect the “Anointed One.”
I am not surprised to hear these stinking lies about our “Anointed One,” it should be apparent to anyone that this was coming down the pike. I do have a couple questions about future process steps concerning these developments? When the “Annointed One” decides to start bar-coding everyone, will we get to decide if the mark is on our hand or forehead? Allot of people will prefer the hand, (especially women of course), unless your a porn actress or something along those lines. Also, my girlfriend was wondering if the Administration will be getting fashion advice from Hollyweird or the New York City crowd? We are both agree that the Administration “Maoies” as the “Anointed One ” so lovingly calls them,will be getting uniforms similar to the SS uniforms in Germany in WW2. With big letters abreviating “Barack’s Socialists.” So shall we start calling them the BS?
No, I think they’ll keep it simple, borack obama will use the initials bo.