How the Marx Brothers (Almost) Rescued Wall Street
Obama thought it best to stay silent and not urge his Democratic colleagues to vote one way or another on the bill. Now some doubters might take that as political cowardice and a demonstrable lack of leadership in a crisis. I beg to differ. I think it shows good old-fashioned American common sense. There are times it is best to stick your head in the sand while the world is falling to pieces around you. That way you remain blissfully unaware of everything catastrophic that might be happening while avoiding the necessity of having to take a stand.
If Obama’s behavior in this crisis is a preview of his presidency then I would suggest we start printing milk cartons with his picture on it now to beat the rush.
Finally, and least of all, there’s George Bush. As a casual observer, Bush makes a great president. He reminds me of one of the characters from George S. Kaufman’s brilliant one-act play The Still Alarm. (Kaufman wrote many of the Marx Brothers scripts on Broadway and Hollywood.) The play is about a fire at a hotel but performed in a most unusual manner. Kaufman’s instructions to the actors are simple; every line must be delivered as if you are inviting the other character for a cup of tea. Hence, the deadpan, polite banter between the characters is side-splittingly hilarious when juxtaposed against the backdrop of the hotel’s raging inferno.
George Bush hasn’t been missing in action in this crisis. That would require him to have been present in the first place. Our president with the 27% approval rating has proven to be such an impotent lame duck that he makes a gimpy, Viagra-popping Mallard a towering statesman by comparison. His serenity is admirable but a little misplaced, don’t you think? Then again, given how Republicans have ignored him in this crisis, perhaps he and Dick Cheney should put on those horrid orange reflective vests and stand in the Capitol Hill parking lot hoping that a couple of Republican Congressmen will recognize them and take pity.
Of course, making light of the failure of our political leaders to address the credit crisis on Wall Street probably gets some people upset. This is good. At least you are getting upset about something — if not the $700 billion we don’t have in the treasury being paid to people who clean their teeth with golden toothpicks. And if that doesn’t get your goat, how about the possibility that this is all some kind of sham, that bailing out a bunch of greedy profligates really isn’t necessary to keep us from going into a deep recession?
I don’t buy it for a minute. But really now, if things were really as dire as the president says — really as serious as the entire Democratic and Republican leadership on Capitol Hill tells us it is — how is it possible that Congress acted like a bunch of immature louts with Pelosi screaming gibberish across the aisle and grown men who call themselves Republicans whining that the reason the bill failed was that Madame Speaker dressed them down in public?
(If Republicans had shown some hurt feelings on behalf of the taxpayer while spending all those trillions of dollars over the last decade, someone, somewhere might feel a little sympathy for them.)
If we really are at the edge of a precipice, why did they all join hands and jump over the edge together? If the only thing that unites them is their hatred for each other, maybe there’s a way we can find a consensus using that as a starting point. I suggest pistols at 20 paces. At dawn. On the Mall.
Perhaps I’m being too kind when comparing the principles involved in this fiasco to the Marx Brothers. Maybe I should have used a more apt analogy. Porky Pig comes immediately to mind for obvious reasons. But I think an even more apropos mascot for this crew is Daffy Duck. Daffy’s catch phrase — “you’re dethspicable“ – is especially appropriate given the circumstances.
Our entire political leadership has gone Looney Tunes. Let’s just hope for Wall Street’s sake “That’s all, folks” doesn’t become a catch phrase for this crisis.
That must be one of your most disjointed and unhinged outbursts, mustn’t it?
I dunno. Having congress settle things with duels might be a good idea. With good luck we might get to replace half of them. It wouldn’t be a clean sweep, but it’d be better than nothing.
I’m not quite old enough to know about the Marx Brothers so you lost me with that ancient analogy. Most of the American public seems to be against the bailout, so our representatives should be voting against it. It’s a complex issue, and not one that’s easily summed-up or compared with a comedy troupe of all things. I’m not sure rescuing an industry that made bad lending decisions, or was forced by the feds to make those bad loans should be bailed out with taxpayer money. If my company goes broke because I made bad decisions, nobody will come and bail me out – that’s the way it works.
You want to save USA economy:
share videos from youtube AGAINST BAILOUT
YOUTUBE is screwed up
but here is a simple add-on to FIREFOX that can download that video
from youtube that does not play:
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/3006
and it will play on your computer
share it
spread the word
Great article!! Smashes both sides with equal zest.
I’m growing so disappointed with all of the characters in this little drama that we have going on in Washington. The democrats are shrill hucksters, the republicans (except for some of the notable efforts from some in the house) are always the perennial “gentlemen” and don’t ever stand up for themselves. McCain’s campaign has been very hard-fought, but seems to be losing steam since this crisis. Obama is just dismal all the way around.
Where is that “none-of-the-above” button?
Pelosi might be “Groucho” but you are just plain “Grouchy”. I found the title of your article highly misleading and was expecting a little levity about this situation. Blah!
Groucho Pelosi: After my hyperpartisan torpedo speech and House Splinter, I mean Speaker…my own party wants me to sign the sanity clause.
Chico Dodd: They no foola me, there’s no such thing as Sanity Klaus.
Gummo Franks: No, you idiot….WE have been Santa Claus for Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae. We have allowed our pals to line their pockets in a way that makes Ken Lay look like a Boy Scout. They cooked the books over at Fannie and Freddie, a New York grand jury is going to hand down indictments and we need to find dollars and taxes to cover it up.
Chico Dodd: Dollars, taxes? Holy moses! I have a bagman in Dallars, Taxas!
Gummo Franks: Don’t say Herb Moses! Hey maybe we can blame the Republicans! The Mao-Stream Media is in our pockets too…they can spin this so we don’t get caught. We need someone as a front man to shift the blame. It would have to be someone who can carry an empty message in a manner that is soothing to the ear, but doesn’t care that it is pure sophistry.
Harpo Obama: (crickets chirping)
You could have used this line from Animal Crackers:
“The other night I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.”
- Captain Spaulding (Groucho Marx)
Metaphors abound…
Would someone please give me the definition of CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICAN ???? Any politician who votes for this bailout should be voted out ASAP. It makes me sick to think about it. Why don’t we just give Washington our pay checks and let them decide how much they can send back to us.
As I’ve been watching politics over the years, this one event does happen from time to time. It’s not always obvious, it can’t be to happen at all. What happens is, every great while money controllers, law controllers and political controllers sense a weakness in the body politic. They grab a handful of power, money , usually both, and pretend nothing happened.
When did you lose your property rights to the government? (take and give to other private entity)
We came one vote from losing our second amendment recently. (DC gun ban vote)
Sovereignty? (vote pandering to illegal aliens)
Freedom (what day is tax freedom day again? the day you start working for yourself instead of the government)
ect
Inch by inch in my short lifetime we are less free than we were…and what is yet to come from this vote.
This bill was written to save the Native American vote. Obama and McCain voted for it.—–
SEC. 503. EXEMPTION FROM EXCISE TAX FOR CERTAIN
21 WOODEN ARROWS DESIGNED FOR USE BY
22 CHILDREN.
3 ‘‘(B) EXEMPTION FOR CERTAIN WOODEN
4 ARROW SHAFTS.—Subparagraph (A) shall not
5 apply to any shaft consisting of all natural
6 wood with no laminations or artificial means of
7 enhancing the spine of such shaft (whether sold
8 separately or incorporated as part of a finished
9 or unfinished product) of a type used in the
10 manufacture of any arrow which after its as11
sembly—
12 ‘‘(i) measures 5⁄16 of an inch or less in.
I guess the 5/16 inch shaft is what congress gives us.
they remind me more of the band on the titanic. lets play a lively tune fellas, we want the audience to like us.
On Election Day, I will walk into my polling place, vote for John McCain, walk out, drive out to the middle of the desert, and shoot myself in the head.
No matter what happens after November 4th, I don’t want to be there to see it.
This bit of dialog from “Duck Soup” is even more appropriate:
Rufus T. Firefly: [to Trentino] Now, how about lending this country twenty million dollars, you old skinflint?
Ambassador Trentino: Twenty million dollars is a lot of money. I’d have to take that up with my Minister of Finance.
Rufus T. Firefly: Well, in the meantime, could you let me have twelve dollars until payday?
Ambassador Trentino: Twelve dollars?
Rufus T. Firefly: Don’t be scared, you’ll get it back. I’ll give you my personal note for ninety days. If it isn’t paid by then, you can… keep the note.
How about this one from Abbott and Costello:
“The more dough I gotta, the more dough I needa.”
How could anybody say such degrading things about the Marx brothers. I grew up watching them and Groucho and his brothers were good men.
Bozo the clown would have been a better fit for this story, or Gomer Pile, Daffy Duck, etc. ..
To Lynn and Candide, we’re organizing a bailout to get you two senses of humor. Yours seems to be about bankrupt. The funny in this is the opportunity to join in the jocularity.
I like the Daffy Duck idea. The public is Elmer Fudd. The Dems are Bugs Bunny. The ‘Pubs are Daffy. Rabbit season! Duck Season! Blam! You’re dethpicable! The Dems created this mess, but they keep pasting the ‘Pubs with it. Daffy turns his beak back around and says, “Let’s try that again! Rabbit season….” Hilarious! (And I’m a ‘Pub!)
Was Porky the Pig wearing lipstick?
Marc Malone: Bailout! I don’t want no stinkin bailout! But you could get me a CENTS of humor.
a little tribute to Marx Brothers, here:
http://www.evvivaniente.blogspot.com/