Scientists say the sun is getter hotter and brighter. That’s something that’s been going on throughout its life and will continue until it enters its red giant phase in about 5 billion years. In about 1 billion years, it’s estimated the Earth will be too hot for liquid water. If you want my advice — and I’m telling you right now that you do — we should have a plan in place to get the human race off of the planet within 500 million years. And I’d recommend we get a better central power source for our new ecosystem than a star; natural fusion is just sketchy and unreliable.
There are a lot of people, though, saying we have to worry about the greenhouse effect making things too hot on Earth in like the next hundred years or something. That seems like complete and utter nonsense on the surface; I mean, the sun is already destined to try and kill us, so why are we worried about carbon? Still, a lot of people are like, really sure about it and say the ice caps are going to melt and then … bad things. If you really want to know about it, ask Al Gore, and he’ll be happy to show you some slides on the subject. It would be nice of you to act interested, because he’s going through a lot and could really use a friend right now.
Anyway, so a lot of scientists — and especially politicians, actors, and musicians — are really, really super certain we have to do something about this “global climate warming change,” as they call it, but seem unable to convince the average man it’s not a bunch of mumbo jumbo — especially to the extent that everyone is going to agree to economy-massacring policies. That seems perfectly rational to me; if I’m wrong, and we’re destined for doom but the only way to live is to be a bunch of hippies, I’d rather be dead. Also, new, cleaner technologies seem unlikely to emerge in markets stifled by socialism and controlled by the meddling morons who usually populate government. So I’m happy to punt this possible crisis down the road and worry about the more concrete and better understood problem that the sun is eventually going to kill us all.
Which apparently makes me like someone who denies the murders of millions of Jews in the Holocaust.
See, the other day, Paul McCartney (who long ago participated in creating a song warning of the global warming crisis, the chilling “Here Comes the Sun”) compared skepticism about global warming to Holocaust denial. And he’s certainly not the first. And it’s even quite common among the super-certain community of actors, musicians, and whatnot who became concerned about global warming after reading an article about it in Newsweek to use the term “climate change denial” to try and more subtly invoke the comparison.
And that’s morally disgusting.
Do these people not understand what the Holocaust was? We’re talking about a coordinated attempt to exterminate the Jews. Millions of them were rounded up and sent to forced labor camps and killed in gas chambers. It’s horrific beyond belief. How could one compare the temperature possibly rising a couple degrees to people being put in ovens? What low opinion must those people have of Jews — of their fellow human beings?
And what are those making the comparison saying about the evidence of the Holocaust? It wasn’t like the only evidence of it was a bunch of scientists pointing to a computer simulation saying what they think would happen to the Jewish population in Europe. And you know how we get a really cold winter and we have all the global warming people assure us that “sometimes global warming can cause it to become colder — we predicted that but didn’t feel like mentioning it until now”? Is there an equivalent with the Holocaust where suddenly the Jewish population shot up during it and we had scientists explaining how mass murder sometimes causes that?
And then there are the horrific pictures of the piles of dead bodies from the Nazi concentration camps. What pictures do the global warming people have? They have their popular one of a polar bear on what looks like a melting piece of ice, and we’re supposed to feel bad for the polar bear even though they like to swim. Plus, there are the eyewitness accounts of victims of the Holocaust, while all global warming has are some people saying how it seems a bit hotter than usual (but don’t mention if it’s cooler than usual because that’s unscientific).
The fact is, the evidence for the Holocaust is so concrete, the only people who would deny it are anti-Semites who don’t want to face the horrors of what their hatred could lead to. On the other hand, global warming evidence is a bunch of eggheads (and even more dimwitted actors, musicians, and journalists) pointing to a bunch of numbers on a piece of paper. It is absolutely asinine in comparison. To even compare the two as equivalent in any way is itself a sort of Holocaust denial.
The Holocaust was the nadir of humanity, the worst man can be to his fellow man, and it’s not some political point to be tossed around because you’re super duper certain your issue is really, really important. If the people worrying about global warming want to convince others, maybe they should reflect a bit more on how to be less repugnant about it. Otherwise, I might just decide to leave them here on Earth when I finish my plan to escape the tyrannical sun. Then McCartney and friends will be left to sit here and wait as here comes the sun.