Unfortunately, these kinds of parents make it difficult for teachers to appreciate those who genuinely express their concerns in a polite, professional manner with thoughtful questions and mutually respectful objectivity about their student’s achievement. It gets harder and harder to separate the bad apples when you’ve eaten a worm so many times. It helps to see here that the parental community is having this discussion — I just wish some of you could show up at my next parent conference!

For years, I taught at an inner city school and helped many kids understand math and life in general. It was very easy to do this because the parents and kids understood the importance of what I was doing. Parents were grateful for my contributions to their child’s life. Kids would wrtie long thank you letters for helping them to understand Math for the first time. These kids would leave my class ready for future Math classes and ready to face high school and life challenges.

I really don’t think that the parents of the upperclass will allow me to prepare their children for high school or life. Each time their son or daughter gets a D or F, we have to meet to better understand what could have possibly been wrong with my test. There was one student who would repeatedly disrupt the class and mom would come to bail her out just as quick. Discipline did not work for this kid because she already knew that she could do whatever she wanted and mom would automatically come to her rescue. Could you imagine this kid in high school or college? There is one little boy who I fear may commit suicide because he has internalized the anxieties of his helicopter mom.

This helicopter parenting trend may cause this generation of affluent kids to be in worst shape than their inner city counterparts. Now I understand why more companies are moving overseas-I could not possibly imagine the future work ethic of these youngsters. It is really scary.

I guess I got lucky, my parents were born just pre-war. A bit older than the babyb-boomers, so we were raised with the mentality of a previous generation. I knew some kids whose parents were pushy and too involved, but not many. Most of us were embarrassed for their sake when their parents showed up at school.

When I had my kids in my very early twenties, many of the parents I knew were baby-boomers who came late to the parenting game. I was constantly befuddled by what I saw as extreme involvement. On the one hand, it was good to see dad’s making more of an effort to be involved, but to be constantly in the teacher’s business and never recognizing that your kid could be less than top of the list in some way, was weird. I was more inclined to be like my mom, send ‘em to school, volunteer occaisionally, at some point be room mom. I soon realized that room mom was going to be way more effort than I could afford to put in, I’d have to leave it to someone who could afford to stay home with her kids and therefore make a career out of cupcakes and playground duty.

20-years later, I have another little one. I’m now one of those late to parenting moms. There is something to be said about the helicoptering coming from being parents later and to fewer kidas. There is a level of preciousness, an awareness of irreplacibility, with this boy that I never felt as a 22 year old parent of two kids and expectation of having as large a family as I grew up in. That didn’t pan out, and by the time having more kids was an option, it wasn’t so easily acheived. He is the reward of a lot of time and effort anda is highly unlikely to have a younger sibling. I can see being a bit protective if he was my first and only! But, I’ll try to be the same parent I was. The first two turned out rather well, and were self-supporting before most of their friends emerged from the cocoon of college. Being a step-back parent seems harder though, as so much of the helicoptering has become entrenched and expected.

Too bad the journalist doesn’t cite any stats or books. My comments were about the writer, not the subject. Unsubstantiated venom is so tiresome.

I raised three children and one of my proudest moments (I had many) as a mother was when my daughter was upset with her English teacher. This happened to be the same English teacher her older sister had had problems with so I was ready to do battle.

Unlike her older sister, who just said “Mom, don’t embarrass me by showing up at school” the younger one explained that she could handle the problem by herself, she just wanted me to listen to her rant about it.

On the other hand, when my physically disabled son was given an F in math because his penmanship was poor, I raised a stink. I told them it was fine to give him an F in penmanship, but not in math if they could read the answers (and they admitted they could). I suggested this was unfair for every student, not just my son.

I also raised a stink when the school prohibited him from taking part in any physical education activities at all. We reached a compromise that he would only be kept out of activities that required climbing.

Schools aren’t perfect, and it’s well that parents realize the schools hold to their own self-interest first. But when it came to grades, I mostly just asked my children if they’d done the best they could and if they had, then they had to learn to live with it. If they hadn’t (most often the case) then it was up to them to change that.

Each child is different and each needs a different level of parental involvement. My youngest wanted to discuss everything with me, she asked for my input on almost everything she wrote until college, when she thought having me proofread her work was a violation of the honor code.

She did send me a law review article she wrote and asked my opinion on only one part of it — was it understandable by someone who wasn’t a lawyer.

There is no one answer, but fairness must be considered first of all. Don’t blame the school when it’s your or your child’s fault, but hold them accountable when they “pick” on someone or some group.

Here’s the rub. Johnnie may not (probably doesn’t) care if he got an F. How many people are truly self-motivated? If the kid doesn’t care and the parents don’t care, then of course Johnny will ‘earn’ straight F’s. It’s a disservice to your kids to not be involved in their schoolwork.

If they are playing video games instead of doing homework, don’t you think it’s your job to enforce the work-before-play rule? Or do you think all kids are born being perfect? If the parents take no responsibility or interest in their kids lives, i guarantee you, the kids will not be motivated. It doesn’t get better once they leave the nest, either.

My job was to drive them to practice, every day, then make sure the homework got done. It made for late dinner times, and two self confident and physically fit adults who know they earned everything they got.