Governor Sanford and the Adultery Problem
The easiest thing to do is simply write Mark Sanford off as a bad egg who fooled us into thinking him one of the good guys.
First, conservative leaders should pause to consider themselves. Recently, I heard a candidate for Congress boast that, at 40, he could spend two or more decades in Congress. He hastened to add that he would support term limits if they were introduced. Basically, “power corrupts, but not me.”
What happened to Governor Sanford could happen to any of us if we’re not careful. This doesn’t excuse Sanford, but it should cause our political leaders to rethink their approach.
Leaders need to take a look at how they connect with their families. It’s common among political leaders to leave their spouse and children behind while traveling across the country on business. The thought seems to be that this creates “normalcy” for the kids and frees the non-political spouse from the burden of constant trips back and forth.
However, this “normalcy” has a price: being disconnected from family. How many nights does your average state-level politician spend in hotel rooms completely and totally alone, separated from their family and from reality itself in the haze of politics?
Political leaders, as well as those thinking of entering the arena, should consider how they’re going to stay in touch with their family, and cleave to them as a stabilizing anchor in the political storms rather than drifting without a plan. Officeholders need to know themselves and their weaknesses, not do things that are going to put them at risk.
In his 2000 presidential campaign, two of Gary Bauer’s chief campaign advisers resigned because Bauer was spending hours behind closed doors with a 27-year-old female campaign aide. There was no proof Bauer and the aide had done anything improper, only that it created the appearance of sexual impropriety.
Bauer’s campaign advisers were shown to be wiser than they were given credit for during the last campaign, when unproven allegations against Senator John McCain were given voice in the New York Times based on the amount of time he spent with a female lobbyist.
The previous generation’s efforts to avoid the appearance of impropriety with the opposite sex may seem outdated, but it is time to revisit them. Maybe we don’t have to go as far as Billy Graham, who won’t drive a woman to the airport unescorted, but I’d rather political leaders follow Billy Graham’s example than Bauer, McCain, and Sanford.
Political leaders need to surround themselves with friends and moral supports. And those who work with political leaders need to understand they’re dealing with a human being and that family issues are going to have a lot to do with how well a political leader does in public life. Supporting them in their family life is critical.
A lot of conservative energy went into Mark Sanford and has been completely wasted. If conservatives want to avoid a repeat, they’ll need to focus on the families of their political leaders.
It is simple. If your wife can’t trust you, how can I?
These guys feel immune to the public. Their staffs work to cover up things. If the staffs would refuse, then the guys would get the message. If the pols understood that they carry a sacred trust, they would refrain. Duty, Honor, Country is not just a slogan.
Mostly, it’s the feeling of power that gets to them. They think they are above these things. They can get away with it. It is their prerogative. Blah, blah, blah. Then, they are surprised to find out that they can’t get away with it.
We should go back to the days of the stocks and public lashings. A few of these displays would disabuse them of these ridiculous notions.
Here we go again. The Republicans are chasing the rubber rabbit on a stick as it whirls round and round and round the beltway.
What about the defense budget, lowering taxes, healthcare, government taking over companies, bullying Wall Street, threatening free speech, stopping illegal immigration and dozens of other critical issues? Are Governor Sanford’s personal actions more important than these to the GOP?
Republicans fall for it every time. Whenever life deals them a lemon they go off a 6 month long trip of melodramatic, woe are we, how we need to make our sugar sweeter pouting dickey fit while the Democrats use the moment to ram tons more of their crap down the country’s throat.
Life is rough. Sometimes people do things that mess it up even worse. But, the fact remains that one person’s reckless behavior and sins do not define who you and I are, nor give legitimate reason for anybody to seize the opportunity to stereotype an entire political party.
Right now is the time for Republicans to smash the Democrats down with the endless ammunition being handed to them hourly by a man who actually appears to believe that he has replaced God and a Congress that is completely out of control.
Instead, Republicans and their pundits want to moan, groan and worry about comparing Governor Sanford’s zipper with Bill Clinton’s as a way to win elections.
Instead, Republicans and their pundits want to moan, groan and worry about comparing Governor Sanford’s zipper with Bill Clinton’s as a way to win elections.
Harsh reality: Democrats and the media (one and the same) will use adultery against Republicans–while making light of it, or even ignoring as long as possible, for Democrats. Even ignoring the moral question, we don’t have the option of saying, “It’s okay, no problem.”
Another issue that I don’t think Zipper Police is considering: any time that you engage in actions that are shameful, or could cause personal or political problems if exposed, you are opening yourself up to blackmail. Foreign intelligence services use this approach to get target nation citizens to give them information. J. Edgar Hoover used this approach to make sure that politicians didn’t threaten his fiefdom. I would find it utterly unbelievable that this isn’t part of why so many conservative politicians go to Washington full of good sense, and turn into squishy liberals in just a couple of years.
Sanford’s real sin, in the context of his office, was that he deserted his duty as the elected executive of South Carolina, even if it was only for a brief time. He apparently made no provision for his absence for the coninuity of executive government and, indeed, his whereabouts was unkown to any other person in the government. In that act alone, he violated the trust placed in him by the electorate of his state to faithfully discharge the duties entrusted to him. For that act alone, he should step down.
His personal life is his domain and of little interest to me, but his public life, as governor of a state, is no longer his to judge alone.
So the problem is that Republicans are losing their rising stars because of family problems that they bring on themselves. I question the value of finding ways for these men to stay closer to family. They already know the importance of family and the evils and dangers of straying, and yet they proceed.
Let’s consider another solution to this problem. You mention Giuliani, but does he belong in this crowd? He’s not viewed as the sanctimonious hypocrite the way Newt and Sanford are (although time has mellowed Newt’s image). Giuliani is not a problem for the GOP in the same way Sanford is.
I suggest two reasons for this:
1) Giuliani’s spectacular, messy marital collapse took place in the open and he never had any humiliating press conference, any need for a shocking revelation and apology. He lived with a couple of gay friends after his wife kicked him out and carried on his mayoral duties notwithstanding. It was something like publicly taking a wrecking ball to his marriage rather than secretly building it with sand rather than concrete and then having it fall down on his wife and kids and supporters.
2) Dare I say it. Giuliani is socially liberal. Fair or not, science-class creationist, anti-choice, and anti-gay stances are perceived as preachy and condemnatory. It’s like a conflict of interest; the mere appearance is an offense.
I’ve seen liberals coming around on the destructiveness to society of welfare; the numbers are there, the arguments are pragmatic. (A liberal friend of mine was shocked when I showed her how single women are rewarded for having more illegitimate kids and keeping fathers out of the house.) Saying “personal responsibility” to them on welfare and school choice doesn’t end the conversation the way quoting the Bible or invoking the collapse of civilization does on gay marriage and abortion.
But socially conservative Republicans ARE going to continue to engage in sexual immorality. Solving the problem of attrition can’t be solved by finding a way to make them stop; there is no such way. The only solution I see is for them to change their arguments on why the rest of us should conform. Or perhaps they should leave those arguments to churches and families and keep it out of our laws. Or is there also “no such way” on that?
Democrats are well aware of Bill Cliton,John Edwards,Elliot Spitzer,Barney Frank,and Jim McGreevy; but they are from the class Progressive-Leftist who by definition have the moral highground and can never do wrong. Republicans belong to a class whose members are always wrongs,so they always are,and there is a need for behavior to prove it.
Governor Sanford showed that he was probably corruptable in politics as well,and we are lucky to have found it out now rather than later.
If your a morality scold as a candidate, don’t expect much sympathy from the public if you screw up.
By attacking conservatives who fail to live out up to thier standards, the Left is really trying to abolish standards altogether. The unforgivable offense here is in aspiring to higher standards and resisting being dragged down into the cesspool with them.
Only one perfect human being has ever lived on Earth. The GOP needs to stop searching for a perfect person to nomenclature their political party back off of oxygen with.
Democrats will use anything they can scrape off the bottom of a sewer against Republicans. Republicans allowing them to get away with it is the problem, not an isolated incident of adultery, or any other human behavior.
Blackmail is a long stretch in today’s society.
But, telling all on bended knees to his wife would have instantly neutralized whatever blackmail power was holding Governor Sanford hostage. If his wife doesn’t have enough gumption to throw his ass out onto the street that officially closes the book on the matter. Come to think of it, I believe that all of these things happened, but alas, the GOP stepped up to the plate (camera) and announced, “We need to cleanse our rear ends better folks.” And there went the whole, damn thing down the drain.
So again, it does not make an ounce of sense for the GOP to waste precious time and national progress by trying to use Governor Sanford’s sin as a methodology for exorcising evil out of the GOP. By so doing they continue to delight the Democrats and the MSM by giving them exactly what they want. Soap opera trash.
Democrats are well aware of Bill Cliton,John Edwards,Elliot Spitzer,Barney Frank,and Jim McGreevy; but they are from the class Progressive-Leftist who by definition have the moral highground and can never do wrong.
I think a better explanation is that sex to progressives is a private matter, and therefore whatever sexual immorality a politician does who subscribes to this view, is only bad manners, not a public morality issue.
We need leaders who are morally superior to the Democrats, simply because we are making a moral argument concerning behavior.
Now, if Democrats had problems about failing to pay income taxes, or engaging in corrupt dealings because of their positions of power, that would be a serious problem for the Democrats. Wait…I think I see a problem here.
Blackmail is a long stretch in today’s society.
Seriously: you think that a conversation that started out, “Senator, we know that you are getting serviced by complete strangers in the mens room at Union Station. Why would you insist on voting against that bill?”
I don’t know how Gov. Sanford ran his campaign in SC, but all I ever heard him speak on was fisacal matters. I never heard him speak on moral matters. Is it the media that makes any one a fiscal conservative a moral conservative. The two don’t go hand in hand. I know quite a few people who in their personal life is messy as hell but the fiscal life is perfect & vice versa. It’s called human nature.
In the late 1980s when I was in my mid-twenties and gunning up the corporate ladder, someone came in behind me who was possessed of intent most foul to seize my position. While I am smart, well-educated and talented, she had a higher degree than I, and I was deeply fretful that she would dislodge me from the ladder or, worse, leapfrog right over me to the prize upon which I had cast my own aspirations.
I am a woman; women can talk about such things. I asked my older, wiser, female boss how I should approach the problem. Her answer was simple and life-changing. “You,” she said, “must live like Ceasar’s wife.” It worked – I got my prize, then further prizes; she eventually got the axe for her unworkmanlike behavior. And it has worked ever since.
Persons aspiring to political and public power should rightfully expect to be held to a higher standard, should expect to have to “cleanse their rear ends better”, should live like Ceasar’s wife. It has nothing to do with preaching and moralizing; it has to do with avoiding hypocrisy and impropriety and even the appearance thereof.
If Republicans wish to claim to be the party of the true mainstream American, to stand for what the vast majority of Americans stand for, they darn well better live that way themselves. Failing to do so renders them no better than the lefties they rail against – Do as I say, not as I do.
We righties have no chance of garnering the votes of undecided independents and wobbly center-left democrats – votes we need if we are to reclaim this country before it gets sold down the sewer – if our leaders are hypocrites.
We righties have no chance of garnering the votes of undecided independents and wobbly center-left democrats – votes we need if we are to reclaim this country before it gets sold down the sewer – if our leaders are hypocrites.
Absolutely. The average conservative voter isn’t perfect, but from what I have seen, they’re a giant step up from a lot of our elected leaders. I think the process itself corrupts (or at least opens the doors to find out one’s moral limitations), but if we have to pick fresh political leaders every four years, and send the current ones back home to spouse and family to prevent such tragedies, all the better.
“Adultery is familial tragedy, but it is far more than that. It is a breach of trust with church, state, and community.”
This says it all in a nutshell. Anyone who cheats on his/her spouse is willing to cheat, period.
And, I might add, anyone willing to cheat on his/her taxes has no business being in positions of authority over how the rest of us ought to spend our tax dollars.
And people wonder why we Independents want nothing to do with either party, anymore.
Politics has bad effects on a man of less than incorruptible character — and politics disproportionately attracts the corruptible.
Elected officials assume themselves to be above the law — man’s law or God’s. They have a higher expectation than private persons of being able to talk or bribe their way out of trouble. And not least of the considerations, they’re subject to more frequent temptation, and possibly more enticing, than are we regular shlumps.
The solution? I don’t know that there is one, the flesh being as weak as it obviously is. But a space might be opening in politics for the unmarried candidate. Just as Ronald Reagan shattered the barrier against divorced candidates, Ensign and Sanford may have done the same for the singletons.
Food for thought.
It takes you mind off of what “THE PUPPET PRESIDENT” and his cronies are up to..
hahahah what a joke…Clinton had a very public affair..”is”…he was President , played with cigars in the oval office…yet he was “fit” to “stay” in office..remember the “blue dress”. An international disgrace. Yet he’s all smiles all over the tv, always giving his opinion..wonder what kind of cigars..oh never mind…
OOOhhhh you dont’ know if you can trust this governor. Get a life…!!!! Leave him alone!!!! The left is pushing the “will he have to step down>?” BS going on. better things to talk about. Your people in Washington are about to vote your jobs overseas with their cap and trade crud.
I tOTALLY AGREE…VOTE INDEPENDENT..
“The solution? I don’t know that there is one, the flesh being as weak as it obviously is.”
Well, sez me, the flesh ought to be made stronger. On account of that is what we all strive toward: Overcoming “flesh.” You know … being better than what we’re not.
when you run for office, check your “equipment” at the door…like …oohh…lets say…CLINTON
I’ll try again. I do not condone infidelity or divorce, but I separate that from politics. The sanctimonious right sickens me. “You can’t trust a man who cheats on his wife.”Really. Ever heard of FDR and JFK?
Have you ever taken a second look at an attractive woman? You are just as guilty. Piety is a disease where people just sit around judging others. They don’t look at themselves.
I don’t know what the relationship was between Sanford and his wife but it is none of my business. That is private and should be kept private. He does need to straighten it out once and for all and then move on. The only reason we know about this is because he is a Republican. If his name was Barack the press would have hidden it from the public just like like they did for JFK.
You mean to tell me they did not know about Jonathan Edwards? They knew more than the National Enquirer that broke the story – with a picture, and they needed that picture.
The Democrats must be chuckling with delight as the they again lead the Republicans around by the nose. Even when they have someone with no baggage, like Palin, the press trys to destroy her through her children. The Republicans just sit there with their hands in their pockets like nothing is happening.
The Republicans are never winning back the country because they are losers.
Sanford missed the new GOP instructional video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBKuRK1wD1A
rbell: “The sanctimonious right sickens me. “You can’t trust a man who cheats on his wife.”Really. Ever heard of FDR and JFK?”
Yeah, FDR and JFK, heard of them. Lot’s wrong in the way the were governing, too. Things weren’t going that well for JFK before his untimely death. And yes, his personal life and his “illnesses” were indeed interfering with his decision-making. And who really knows about FDR, he was certainly an iconic President, but history tends to tell a difference story of his decision-making during the Great Depression.
You do have a point, rbell, though. I agree there is sanctimoniousness with the Repub party. And we should be able to leverage the usefulness of someone’s good leadership abilities vs. their personal sophomoric picadillos.
But in Sanford’s case, did you see the news conference? He was clearly not in command, enhanced by the fact that he had (as we are learning) abandoned all sense of reason months (or longer) before he just took off (on Father’s Day no less). He was basically rambling and incoherent. And the more we hear about his actions toward his family and most likely his staff, the worse its sounds.
That pretty much decides it for me. If it was just one weak moment and one incident and he was able to address his mistake with a real understanding of the destructive impact it had made, it would be worth waiting and seeing. But he apparently has been messing up for quite a while. Something is not right with the man.
Too bad for him and too bad for what’s left of the Republican party.
I recently read this on a blog and I thought it was quite good:
“Republicans have some standards and are therefore hypocrites if one of them fall short of those standards.
Democrats have no standards and therefore can be not hypocrites.”
That’s a pretty sweeping statement, but it certainly defines the Democrat leadership to me.
Stop it already, the guy cheated on his wife, big deal, did it hurt his ability to govern ? Men have always wanted more than one woman, it is our healthy instinct to desire as many women as we can gobble up. But we don’t for various reasons, some noble, some practical, some stupid. Women always play the “victim” in these situations never even considering that they drove the poor oaf to play around. How many guys are in prison for killing their wives because the “little woman” wouldn’t shut up. Women really know how to push a mans buttons, he cheated, she caused him to cheat. I know it is often not politically correct to say the truth, but the truth is the truth whether you like it or not.
Bill, what part of Dereliction of Duty don’t you understand? He committed an impeachable offense by getting on an airplane to Argentina without telling anybody.
Kasper:
Good point but my intent was to show how the Democrats defend their own like the Musk Oxen of the Arctic. You never see them let the wolves devour one of their own. But the Republicans turn on their own like those zombies in a horror flick. They smell blood and they are the first ones there.
Then there is Paul Begala on TV ridiculing the self righteous Republicans because they won’t support Gay marriage. This is the same dude who made excuses for Clinton during the Lewinsky era. Everyone made light of his infidelity. Bill now has a public library and is now making millions on the talk circuit. But the Republicans want to destroy Sanford’s career for good.
The Republicans turn on their own like Peranas and then reach out to people like Barney Frank and treat him with the utmost respect. Sanford is a sad case but we don’t need the Republicans kicking him when he down.
I oppose sexual sins, fornication, adultery, homosexuality pedophila because the Bible does.
On what basis do schools teach sexual sins and have the nerve to condem them? They teach sex in kindergarten, teach the only thing wrong with sex is not wearing protection. They kick the bible out of school.
Now the biggy. darwinism. It is survival of the fittest for descendents of apes to do anything and every thing they are big enough to mate with.
The reason people want darwinism is for their heddonistic mindset. Man was evolved to have unlimityed monkey love. It grows the species. If gubment schools teach the laws of the jungle, why are we surprised when they act like thumping their chests and chasing anything? From Hefner to sports stars, the active man is a hero. How disgusting.
I’m a liberal so, “Raise shields, Mr. Sulu”
I believe that extra-marital hanky-panky is one area in which Democratic and Republican politicians have achieved complete bi-partisanship
Because Democrats have not made private moral virtue a defining element of their party, the mighty don’t fall quite so low. [Their claim to higher morality is usually confined to spending other people's money for social programs...
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Sanford, et. al., break the British maxim of, “never be caught in bed with a dead woman or a live man” and go through tearful, publicly televised flogging rituals. (Why don’t they ever repent UNTIL they’ve been caught?
Bill Clinton gets caught, shrugs, and says, in essence, so what’s the big deal? Besides, I never inhaled
Republicans can certainly embrace a higher standard of private morality if they wish, but probably communicate more of a “there but for the grace of God go I” attitude when a Democrat (such as Clinton) reveals his feet of clay (amongst other things).
Bill Bekkenhuis
Bethlehem, PA
If you mess up, man up. He needs to gracefully remove himself from politics and go on to his inevitable lobbying job, as all politicians eventually do…
Meanwhile, the last things the Republicans need to do is make themselves into Democrat clones by saying “It’s a crime if you do it, it’s an indiscretion if we do). If Republicans have any edge left at all, it is that they don’t fort up around wrongdoers… unless, of course, they are willing to take the stand that there is nothing wrong with adultery, and that character is *not* the issue.
I think both Republicans and Democrats should use the Hugh Grant Gambit when caught in infidelity: “I think you know in life what’s a good thing to do and what’s a bad thing, and I did a bad thing. And there you have it.”
See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hugh_Grant
Because liberals have not self-defined in terms of personal moral purity, they can probably get away with this a bit easier.
Bill Bekkenhuis
Bethlehem, PA
I think that bloggers and other media need to focus on an adultery situation involving Congresswoman Loretta Sanchez in Orange County. She took up with her former military escort, while she and he were still married (taking away an officer in a time of war). There are also issues of conflict of interest in this case:
http://latinopoliticsblog.com/2009/06/02/the-making-of-the-%E2%80%9Cloretta-sanchez-scandal%E2%80%9D/
25 myth buster: You need to change your handle, he did nothing illegal. Sorry pal but as I said before “the truth is the truth even if it isn’t politically correct.” …… Don’t ya just hate it when your wrong.
It should not surprise us when public officials demonstrate the kind of moral failings that Sanford and others – many, many of them Democrats, have demonstrated. We should be compassionate. We should not be judgmental. We should appreciate the good work they have done. But we should insist that they resign immediately.
By failing to resign and by making a spectacle of himself he has gravely damaged the credibility of those who share his philosophy.
Linda is right. Rep. Loretta Sanchez, a prominent Democrat from California, did much worse than Sanford and the media let her slide. Instead of looking for love in South America, Sanchez went poaching on married Army officers across the river in the Pentagon. The result: one tragically fractured Army family and the loss of a promising officer’s career. It really is a scandal, and it really ruined our family. And it is happening right now…