A State Department spokesman followed up: “The German people have to understand that the American government had nothing to do with the making of this film, and unfortunately, that pesky First Amendment to our Constitution doesn’t allow us to prevent such despicable things from being created. But this cannot justify all the bloodshed that we see taking place in Italy today.”
However, sadly and shockingly, the statement has done nothing to quell the rioting. Some aren’t surprised, however.
“The notion that this was caused by a propaganda film is ludicrous,” said one source at the War Department on background. “No one is surprised that the Germans would counterattack when we’ve invaded their territory. This is war.”
When asked if the attacks weren’t spontaneous, he scoffed. “The Germans have been massing troops for days in preparation for this operation. The State Department people don’t know what they’re talking about. People protesting propaganda films don’t come armed spontaneously with tanks and artillery.”
But the State Department is holding its ground, for now.
“Our current best assessment, based on the information that we have at present, is that, in fact, what this began as, it was a spontaneous — not a premeditated — response. What happened today in Italy, and many other parts of the region was a result, a direct result, of a heinous and offensive film that was widely disseminated, that the U.S. government had nothing to do with, which we have made clear is reprehensible and disgusting.”
Generals Patton and Clark were asked for comment, but their response was unprintable.