Everything You Always Wanted to Know About the Budget
Ever since Mitt Romney picked Paul Ryan as running mate, people have been quite frightened of this thing called a “budget” that Ryan has been proposing. It’s been many years since our country has seen such a thing, so I thought I’d address some common questions and allay the concerns out there.
FEDERAL BUDGET FAQ
Did Paul Ryan invent this idea of a “budget” to try to undermine President Obama?
No, budgets have been around for a long time, and America has actually had them in the past. Even Jimmy Carter had a budget, and he was a complete failure at everything.
Didn’t the Nazis and the KKK also have budgets?
After years of going without a federal budget, the idea of a budget may sound scary, but it’s actually a common thing for governments to have them. Budgets aren’t evil at all.
The purpose of a budget seems to be to limit what the government can spend on the poor, the elderly, and people who just don’t feel like working, so why are so many people intent on making us have a budget? Do they hate the needy?
The compelling force behind our need for a budget is something called “math.”
Why should math have any influence on the federal government? It was never elected.
Math always has — or at least had — an influence on what the government can do. Think of it as a large, outside influence that is always there, like George Soros.
George Soros doesn’t influence the government! That’s just a lie the Koch brothers spend millions of dollars to spread!
Fine, but just understand that math is there and will have an effect on what the government can do, one way or another.
What does math want in a budget, anyway?
It would like for us to not have such a huge disparity between our revenue and our spending.
Explain.
The amount of money the federal government spends right now far exceeds the amount of revenue the government takes in.
Explain simpler.
Um… when you have more money than the amount something costs, that’s called being able to “afford” something. We can’t “afford” the amount of spending we currently have.
Explain even simpler.
Spending greater than money. This bad.
I still don’t understand. If we’ve been spending more than we take in for some time, doesn’t that prove that that’s a fun and good thing to do and that we can keep doing it forever and ever?
No. As we continue to spend more than we take in, we add to the national debt, and eventually there will be a reckoning for that.
Since the national debt is almost $16 trillion — so big it’s essentially a made-up number — can’t we just ignore it?
This is not a good idea, as it will not continue to ignore us. Our credit was already downgraded. At some point, the world will lose confidence in the U.S. economy, and we’ll no longer be able to borrow money. This could result in a complete economic collapse.
And what happens after that?
The apes take over. They’re debt-free.
Why do Republicans insist on spending cuts to make their crazy budget idea work? Can’t we just keep spending in order to stimulate the economy and grow our way out of our deficit?
Or we could take those unicorns President Obama promised us and ride rainbows out of this mess.
Unicorns are invisible.
Excuse me?
You act like we didn’t get the unicorns Obama promised, but you have to remember that unicorns are invisible, so we may have gotten them, and you just don’t know it.
Noted. Anyway, my point is that the federal government needs to stick to things directly under its control, i.e., spending, to make sure it doesn’t make the situation even worse. Continuing to spend at the current level and hoping we can eventually pay for it is like someone buying a house he can’t afford the monthly payments on and then buying lottery tickets on credit every week, hoping that he’ll win before the creditors come after him.
You can do that?
Don’t do that.
Can’t we just raise taxes on the rich to pay for everything?
No.
Says who?
Math.
I’m still not comfortable with math making governmental decisions.
Well, it does have very little influence these days. But the only way to ensure we’ll have a sustainable budget is to make spending cuts.
Can’t we just cut things we don’t use, like the military? In Paul Ryan’s budget, he actually proposes changes to Medicare. What is it about old people that makes Republicans like Paul Ryan want to murder them?
More than half of government spending is in entitlements, so the only real way to get spending under control is to make changes to things like Medicare and Social Security. Also, the changes Paul Ryan proposes will only affect those under 55, so they won’t affect old people.
The changes will affect future old people.
Also known as “young people”.
Yeah, but we can’t go around saying that Paul Ryan’s budget will affect young people, because young people don’t vote. We need to scare old people.
We are aware of that.
It just seems so uncaring to go after entitlements. Isn’t Paul Ryan Catholic? And didn’t Jesus teach us that we have to have the government take care of everyone?
Jesus preached about personal charity. He never talked about being charitable with other people’s money. Especially not with money we don’t actually have.
But wasn’t Jesus always robbing from the rich to give to the poor?
I believe you’re thinking of someone else.
I’m pretty sure I once saw Jesus use a bow.
I’m absolutely certain you’re thinking of someone else.
I’m still not convinced that we need a budget — and we certainly don’t need to work toward one so extreme that it actually balances. Harry Reid says we don’t need a budget.
Harry Reid is clearly senile. He once argued that taxes are voluntary. He is obviously not all there, and you shouldn’t listen to him.
But Joe Biden said…
You’re really not picking the best people to listen to.
Still, won’t cutting or changing entitlements people depend on show that we just don’t care about people?
If we’re helping people in a way that’s unsustainable and will thus one day be forced to yank the rug out from under everyone, then I’d say we’re only pretend-caring right now. If we really cared about people, we’d find a way to do it that we could actually afford. So I’d say this current situation of skyrocketing debt is us not caring enough about people.
So how do I get a bank to lend me money so I can buy lottery tickets?
Seriously, don’t do that.
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Bravo!
This should be required reading for illiterates everywhere.
Illiterates can’t read! — All they’re good for is licking stamps and envelopes!
> Why’s that?
> That’s what they learned in “school”; also, basket weaving.
> You mean they can read baskets?
> No. I said weave; weave baskets!
> So, we need better schools?
> Yes, definitely!
> How do we get better schools?
> Get better teachers!
> How do we do that?
> Get rid of unions!
> But aren’t unions there to “protect” workers?
> Yes, workers; now, they mainly protect those who can’t read!
> Really?
> Yup. Those who can’t read always need teachers — and unions.
> So, how do we save them?
> Get rid of the Department of Education!
> Really?
> Yup! They can neither read, nor write, nor teach, nor administer.
> So, that’s been our problem?
> Yup, I believe so! — We’ve become a “post-literate” culture.
I hope you mean the State DoE’s, rather than federal, which isn’t much. I would like to get rid of the whole system and go to vouchers. Of course, after we save money, we will need lots of official to make sure the vouchers are being used properly. Unfortunately (see the earned income credit) simple, self-administering systems lead to high levels of fraud.
Hey, maybe we could sell abolishing the public schools to the DOE’s as beaureaucrat full employment!
Lovely!
As a former radio guy this entire thread if perfect for radio.
You have to communicate to everyone! Even the omaba clones with IQ’s approachin their ages.Brilliantly done.
Baahhhaaa!
Is your next book like this? If so, I will pre-order it for my Kindle.
This is but a tiny appetizer to the main course that is “How to Solve Everything in America Forever: The Plan to Keep America Awesome” (out Sept. 4!).
Keep in mind that there is one way that the left could be planning escape from our deficit crisis. A way that would account for their indifference toward it.
They could manufacture a massive inflation like that in 1923 Germany. Within a few months, our $16 trillion deficit might become the cost of a nice home. And yes, something like that just might be followed a decade later by a bitter and angry nation, its savings destroyed, turning to radical politics. That’s precisely what happened in Germany.
But for the left, that radical turn is a feature not a bug. It’s a reason to manufacture a budgetary and then a financial crisis.
Dem budget solution: Cover ears and eyes and run away screaming Noooooo!
This would make a great Xtranormal you tube video.
I almost didn’t click the link as the head line gives the impression of a dry and boring budget meeting.
I’m pretty sure that leftist were those students who “didn’t like math” in high school.
Not sure if this is satire or if you actually interviewed and Obama voter.
Excellently done!!!!!!
Amusing. I enjoyed it.
Unfortunately, that was not a made up guy asking you those questions, right? It was, like, your brother in law or something?
Why does math hate people?
A banner to fly in the neon rainbow over the fields of unicorns, skittles, and conceptual artists would clear state, “You have to pass it to find out what is in it.” If X = X, and X = not X, then believe in the fields of dreams.
Tragicomedy.
Not for nothing, but why does nobody bring up England, where we received the current “RIGHT” to “make” money from them in 1943, I believe that was the year??? Yes, what was England’s situation when they NO LONGER could PAY THEIR BILLS & FILED BANKRUPTCY. I KNOW THAT WE THEN RECEIVED THE “RIGHT” TO MAKE MONEY AT THAT TIME & ENGLANG HAD SUCH FINANCIAL POWER UNTIL THEN! I’M quite certain that America must be at least in the condition that England was in then because they essentially had been MARXIST in their IDEOLOGY all of the 1900′s, which is why I’m sure that the English Music Invasion in the 60′s was organized by our CIA to introduce such marxist ideology to our youth at the time, one of which was I, although I never got into such ideology. However,it seems that our more verbally assute women did get into such marxist ideology! So now, America has women & blacks leading America into a MARXIST TAKEOVER, who I call the 70 plus %er’s because they make up at least that much of our current population. I’m not worried though, because we actually also are “Israel” by the seed of Joseph, proven by England(Gen. 48:16) and brother U.S had nothing left to do that our brother hadn’t already done, so we elected both the “FORBIDDEN FOREIGNER(ONLY NON-ANGLO-SAXON EVER) of Deuteronomy 17:15 TO LEAD US IN 6,000 YEARS, and also this time the RIGHT “ANTI-CHRIST”(MARXIST) OVER U.S. to forefill Revelation, chapter 11 and ALL BY the SAME VOTING SAMPLE(WOMEN & BLACKS), or our nation’s “gatherers”, which I ALSO refer to as the 70% plus American SUPER MAJORITY VOTING BLOCK! The IRONY is that CAUCASION MEN actually have been the ONLY REAL & TRUE MINORITY in the history of man, including during the period of black slavery because I can not imagine women were any different then, can you? Just saying…
You should probably also check out this article by me: http://pjmedia.com/blog/tips-for-not-appearing-crazy-on-the-internet/
Unfortunately, I would either need thinner fingers or spend one hour per comment, as in the old USENET days. (In those days, you actually were encouraged to reply personally to clarify before going public.)
WHAT IF WASHINGTON WANTED TO EAT ALL OF THE RICH HERE IN AMERICA?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=661pi6K-8WQ
One of your best to date, Frank J. And coming from MfK, that’s high praise indeed.
I think your memory hole is out of order. Contact your local branch of the Thought Police.
(P.S. – Comedy gold!)
Most readers are a bit off of the mark in their thoughts about budgets.
The budget is a roadmap to the future of whatever organization created it. The budget prioritizes areas of concern and provides the wherewithall to get to those goals. It is he working philosophy of those who created it.
This is exactly why this nation is in such severe financial, moral, ethical and cultural straits – there has not been any effort in Congress to plan. Without a plan, nothing can move.
Thank you Obama. Thank you treacherous Harry Reid. Thank you Big Mouth Pelosi. The three of you along with thousands of your followers need to find other lines of employment, and quickly – perhaps in early Noverber 2012 !!