Drunkblogging the President’s Afghanistan Speech
4:41PM I started early — with the cocktails, that is. And I think tonight for good reason.
A little background.
Let’s set the Wayback Machine to December 1, 2009. That night, President Obama gave his Surge speech to the cadets at West Point. In that speech, Obama was so effortlessly disengaged he might as well have been a high-performance clutch. And that’s when he was articulating the reasons for his huge increase in the Afghan War effort. Now — can you imagine how disengaged he’ll be tonight? Because tonight isn’t a victory speech. It’s a speech where he’ll say, essentially, “We’ve done some stuff and now we’ll do less stuff and here’s the timetable for doing less stuff.”
That’s why I had my first martini a full two hours before the speech.
4:54PM We “really put a dent in al Qaeda,” is the excuse being mongered on CNN. Well, we did that with a small-footprint, Biden-approved SEAL operation. Pretty much a repudiation of the Surge. So now we unsurge. Desurge?
And then the dent will pop back out. Let’s call the unsurge “Operation Coathanger.” (DIY car repair folks will get it.)
4:57PM From Anderson Cooper: “How will the drawdown affect operations on the ground.”
Correct Answer: “There will be fewer troops to do stuff, Captain Obvious.”
Actual Answer: Technical difficulties talking to CNN’s man on the scene.
I think he was trying to give the Correct Answer.
4:58PM Say… we’ll have 30,000 fewer troops in Afghanistan right around the time Obama needs to rally the doves in his base for his reelection.
I totally just now noticed that!
4:59PM From the RBJ in the comments: “What’s uncertain is the ratio of ‘I’s to ‘troops’?”
Heh.
5:00PM Candy Crowley: He’ll say “we’re on the right trajectory.”
Obama has said the same thing about jobs for two years now.
I need a drink.
5:01PM “He certainly had a degree of success.” Napoleon had many degrees of that.
5:02PM Here he is…
5:02PM “Worst attack on our shores since Pearl Harbor.” Spoken like a man who heard about that once.
5:02PM “Then our focus shifted.” Bush took his eye off the ball! Booooooooooosh!
5:03PM Tolly-bahn. I hate those guys.
5:04PM “Re-focus on al Qaeda, reverse momentum, and other stuff until we draw down our forces.”
We shall withdraw from the beaches, we shall withdraw from the landing fields…
5:05PM “Our mission will change from combat to support… by 2014… from a position of strength.” And yet I still don’t undertand what’s been done, or why the drawdown must happen now.
5:05PM Reminder: “I killed bin Laden!” Well done, sir — well done. But that op didn’t require a surge.
5:06PM “Our allies increased their commitments.” But then they took their eye off the ball to invade Libya. Because of Booooooosh!
5:06PM Surge worked: Women and minorities affected most.
Well, I’ve opened up the “good” box of wine. I think I’ll need the whole 5 liters tonight!
Or he’ll claim success based upon his strategy. What’s uncertain is the ratio of “I”s to “troops”?
Smirnoff for me
Gosh. I’ve got a tingle up my leg! No. Wait. Spilled my drink.
How many “I”s have there been so far 5? 6? sheesh
An even dozen?
He must have only one teleprompter tonight, no tennis match eyes. Heck i could read this as well as he can
Old Wine, old skins (metaphor in honor of the host).
How can one man talk so much and say so little?
He’s just not a great speaker/reader. He seems really eager to finish this thing and watch some baseball. I have no recollection of what he said two minutes ago, and no it’s not the Smirnoff.
It can’t be baseball he is rushing off to. The guy is clueless when it comes to baseball. Remember that first pitch debacle. Can’t name any of the White Sox players even though he claims to be a fan! What a goober.
Svedka here. Imported Swedish vodka cheaper than American Skyy.
Gee, a president promising that as long as he’s president he won’t tolerate attacks on America? How novel. Let’s make him president for life.
Old wine, old skins.
How can one man talk so much and say so little?
Umm… is someone speaking?
Rule of Law? Including War Powers Act? Litigate it if you think it’s unconstitutional.
My thoughts exactly. What is he talking about…founding documents? Fort Campbell? “I got Osama”
Is he wrapping up? Sounds like it.
He shouldn’t speak in the hallway when it’s empty. There’s an echo. And that looking directly into my eyes…sheesh. Gives me the willies.
living within our means? Like spending a trillion dollars a year you don’t have?
It’s a serious topic, but I raise my Manhattan to our men and women over there.
Here here. Clink!
“all people deserve to live in peace…” except for Syrians. We won’t mention them.
And Libyans.
All people deserve to live in peace except Syrians and Libyans.
And Yemenis.
All people deserve to live in peace except Syrians, Libyans and Yemenis.
And Israelis.
All people deserve to live in peace except Syrians, Libyans, Yemenis and Israelis.
And…
“like so many I’ve met”… yeah and you probably autopen the condolence letters.
Speech now over. We have served as a giant focus group for his 2012 campaign themes.
13-14 minutes? He speaks to an empty room and a camera. A mush of patriotic themes and something about nation building here? And then there was that part about the Seals and the not subtle thrice mentioned Osama. This was really weak tea.
No Charles K. (Fox news feed here) it wasn’t remarkable. Unless you mean remarkably bad. OK, if its a speech with an eye to the next election, you don’t use US troops & strategic policy as election points.
Time for another drink.
We surged.
We left.
We can now say that we are 1) a tough, victorious CinC and 2) a pacifist. WIN.
Obama made a speech? Thank God I didn’t have the TV on.
Churchill:
We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender
Obama:
We will withdraw from the beaches, we will withdraw from the landing fields, we will withdraw from the fields and from the streets, we will withdraw from the hills, we shall soon surrender.
Only 16 minutes? A blessing for you, Mr. Green.
I agree with RebeccaH.
The most neutral thing I can say is, we knew this was coming. The perfidy of this pino (president in name only, and with a small “p” at that) is not surprising. We all could have predicted this back in November of ‘O8.
Some of us were blogging warnings about this in January of 2008……
Just NOT to hear “Tolly-bahn” or “Pocky-stahn” ever again would be nice. I simply can’t stomach listening to this pompous ass president.
I couldn’t agree more! What really cracks me up is when the news media parrot his pronunciation. I guess they think it makes them sound smart too.
Every time he says “tolly-bahn” I think “Banana Boat Song”
I’ll drink to that!
Lucky for Steve, Obama decided to help you save your liver tonight, of course the added stress of him basically saying he had no idea of what he was doing other than focus testing his campaign message…
Tapping the keys of my iphone, its 4:55 in the morning. From where I sit in my civillian security guard post I can see the seperating fence between us and Kalandia. Im wondering if its Jack or XXO that your drinking or maybe GreyGoose. Old fashioned glass or cofee mug. Whatever it is its doing your commentating a world of good. Im not sure its legal (anymore) to poke that much fun at Obama. I assume it was televised and thank the Lord that I didnt have tv access and got to enjoy your blog instead.
I have a visceral reaction any more when I see the big O on tv speechifying again. I have to turn the tv off. He will always be known now as the President who got us out of Helmud provence. It only took us about ten years to take it from the Taliban. On the other hand this grand President was able to single handedly arm the Narco Trafficants with about two thousand assault weapons. Damn those gun dealers. Its guns you know. You know how much safer it is in those countries that ban guns such as England and endorse Sharia laws.
Its time to partake of my favorite beverage, Scotch straight. Nothing takes the edge off like two fingers of Scotch.
Sleep well tonight. Our President is protecting us!
Feh, I did something more useful, a double gin n tonic at the local red lobster whilst partaking of their $15 special. T’weren’t bad, just needed a veranda upon which to sit, gazing out upon the natives being restless.
I’m a very lucky man. I had been at a birthday party for my three year old grandson and was on my way home. Listening to Mark Levin’s show on the radio. When he announced that he was playing that speech afterr the break I switched to some good old country music. At least the lies in country music involve drinkin’ and lovin’.
Oh crap. Give me Colin Firth with a stutter but uplifting content any day over this smooth talker who makes me fear for our future.
Smooth talking????
“well save the world and the seals and the lightbulbs will kill and mame the harmless innocent any longer. The harmless innocent muslims will be saved. Only love and forgivness will rule the world. And we will rule the world through fair taxes and we will cancel all the unfair taxes. Only fair taxes. everyone will be equal and get their fair share. Abd mithers should abort when they want. They shouldnt have to suffer. No one will suffer ever again. And we will stop getting into debt. We will have no more debt. Because that makes more sense.”
A page out of enumerous speeches.
This aint third grade. Dude!
Cool,he is going to work on nation building here at home but what nation is he building?
Anyone taking bets it will be a nation Islam?
I need a drink.
Agreed on the MUN statements. He never would have gotten through a speech with his ego intact at our high school.
“I” – 12, “VICTORY” – 0
What a maroon! Is there anyone left in the USA who actually supports this fool?
Wow, Steve and the blogs were so much better than the speech which I didn’t fail to miss. Thanks, guys.
With twelve “I”s in 16 minutes that’s .75 “I”s per minute. Could be a new Obama record, sounds like saving head rotations by having only 1 teleprompter helped get his average up.
That was… a thing, it was.
I like the “we took our eye off the ball… so I glanced at the ball for a like a whole second and then Arab Spring happened” line of reasoning from Fearless Leader.
I think he should start a new campaign of drone attacks on all countries… nobody knows who or when. Like a lottery system.
After all, the Administration seems to believe we don’t need to follow the War Powers Act IF the people he’s shooting have no way of shooting back. Seriously, that is the Administrations current argument… bombing Libya doesn’t amount to “hostilities” because the US troops aren’t at risk.
So, by his logic, he could put a B-2 bomber in the air and carry out unending bombing campaigns against 99% of the world without having to ask Congress ever.
I want to know who writes this dross for him? I know he doesn’t, because he is just plain shiftless. Seriously, who writes these speeches? It used to be, you had to be really good to become a Presidential speechwriter. Now, it’s like they hire anyone off the street. What is this…”Stimulus” dollars at work?
I actually made it past his first two swaggering steps toward the teleprompter before I turned it off! For me, that’s progress! What an arrogant ass.
and all his yesterdays have paved the way to what and for whom, again?
Oh.
For fools. To dusty death.
My family members always say that I am killing my time here at net, but I know I am getting know-how daily by reading thes pleasant articles or reviews.