Drunkblogging Obama’s Address on the Economy
I’ve got my second martini poured already, but here’s how you can play along at home.
Drink on “hope,” or “change,” or “invest,” or “stimulus.” If President Obama uses the word “malaise,” then finish your drink, pour another, and call your broker. Tell him to put everything into ammo and bottled water.
6:52PM (All times Mountain) I hate to agree with Bill O’Reilly, but when he says President Obama is winging it, how do you disagree?
6:57PM Krauthammer says he wants to be a “revolutionary president.” Aw, crap.
7:02PM The TV people say we’ll also get some talk tonight about the war. We’re at war?
7:05PM Hottest first lady ever? Barring Millard Fillmore in drag, I’d have to say yes.
7:08PM Brit Hume must be really retired, because he’s talking about how late an hour it is at 9PM local.
7:09 I’m usually too smart to do these things on an empty stomach, but I was on Rick Moran’s radio show earlier and missed my chance to carbo-load. If this were the first draft of a sitcom script, the next stage direction would read, “hilarity ensues.”
7:11PM Juan Williams notes that we’re going to hear a speech “bereft” of “international themes.” Isolationism is so not our friend right now. Let’s try not to forget that.
7:12PM Say what you will about Obama, but there’s no denying the man looks presidential.
7:13PM I’m gladdened to see Obama isn’t wearing that sweater still. That would have been worrisome.
7:16PM Eff it. Just drink already. He’s about to speak.
7:17PM Clark Kent called. Wants his tie back.
7:18PM If Obama makes it a campaign promise in ’12 to keep stepping on Pelosi’s lines, I might just vote for him.
7:19PM He sounds confident. Pleased, even. “The state of our economy is a concern that rises above all others.” Fair enough, and he’s promising to spare us the statistics. So far, so good.
7:20PM “We are living through difficult and uncertain times… we will emerge stronger than before.” Somebody took some good advice from Bill Clinton, crafting that line.
7:21PM OK, we need to pull together, confront boldly, take responsibility, etc. Inspiring stuff. “Our economy did not fall… overnight.” If he’s setting up entitlement reform, this speech could be a real winner, even with libertarians like myself. But patience… let’s see where this goes.
7:22PM “Invest!” Drink!
7:24PM Joe Biden has already mastered the Veep’s most important job — appearing to sleep through the President’s speeches. But Obama is rushing. He’s either nervous, or knows that he’s running late. Or both. Whatever it is, that masterful presence he held at the beginning of the speech has been squandered.
I’m also drinking on “inherited” and “past 8 years”….
I’m supposed to be making green chile right now and you’re drunk blogging. Choices, choices.
maxillofacial surgery
And “sacrifice” too!
But if I hear the word “Dodd”, I’m going on the wagon for a week…
“create or save”
Also look for…
“invest” to describe higher taxes
“fairness” to describe unfairness
CNN says:
“The President wants to have people in the first lady’s box who represent the spirit and traditions of America…so he has a lady who slapped a class action racial discrimination lawsuit on her employer…” (or something)
That’s Obama’s America.
Obama, as usual, like a child, is late. Bush was always on time. Adults usually are. It’s about respect.
CBS is talking about how the Republicans are “obstructionist” and aren’t being “bipartisan” like the Democrats are.
Those huge smiles are obscene, somehow.
“America, we feel your pain, and you can tell by our carefree, mile-wide smiles!!”
There he is!!! There he is!!! There he is!!!!
This is perfect! I get to hear “about” the speech without actually having to… you know… endure listening to it an all its squishy hopey changey annoyingness. Thank you Stephen for providing this valuable service to my psyche. Now excuse me this will be a single malt night for me. Be back in a moment..
I could have sworn I just saw him shake hands with Abraham Lincoln.
Who was that bearded, swarthy man?
“presidential”? Tingle time???
I think you should add crisis to the list.
I could not clap that one, regardless of whom it was for.
He always makes me feel like he’s getting ready to sell me a Pinto and tell me it’s a Mustang.
I’ll have you know that I have sworn off actually watching or listening to speeches and ONLY read your drunkblog accounts… Then I can look back with fondness on just about anything!
May the Almighty smile upon your liver, Stephen, for this self-sacrifice.
Talk about HOT…look at Pelosi!
Fasterpssycat crisis – drink!
He talked it down, maybe he can talk it back up.
He’s really been stung by the negativism criticism. But he can’t help himself: “once more,” blah, blah, blah. He owns the economy, and he talked it down quite a bit.
We import more oil today than ever before because the obstructionists won’t allow using our own petroleum.
Regulations, regulations….liar,liar! They dont get it.
It was regulations that forced the bad loans.
I hope he explains how those condoms are going to create prosperity!!!
transferring wealth to the wealthy?
Can anyone just say “spend” rather than “invest” anymore?
I’m glad to hear he doesn’t believe in big government. He had me fooled. And he hates deficits…I had that one wrong, too.
We now are down to brass, Orwellian tacks.
“Nobody messes with Joe.” That’s because he’s a blabbering fool who left unattended will create endless hours of amusement.
It doesn’t matter what the man says … he’s a liar and can’t be trusted to stand by his own words or to tell the truth …
take responsibility—
I did – I didn’t go overboard on my mortgage or purchase price. I have enuf in the bank to cover 6 months of expenses & 1 year of mort.
I pay on time….
———–
“THIS TIME!”
Has Obama’s hair gotten grayer already or is it just the camera?
Can anyone tell me what he’s talking about? I have no idea what all of this is about.
“Lead again.” Another cliche that won’t bear scrutiny. The whole freaking world is in a recession, Mr. President, including those nations making hybrid cars.
Cap ‘n trade. That’ll get us out of this economic funk.
“Our economy did not fall…overnight.”
Right, but will we get the honest, 100 year analysis about how giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car-keys to teenage boys? (P.J. O’Rourke)
Nah, that would be honest.
It’s going to be a fun depression; I can hardly wait.
I myself was planning a beer excursion into Brooklyn this weekend. Bet I’ll do more for the economy!
Let’s just cut to the chase …. We will provide EVERY working family their own money printing press … including the paper and ink.
Joe Biden in charge of oversight cuz no one messes with Joe? Can he be put in charge of Charlie Rangel and Chris Dodd?
Democrats suddenly go lukewarm when he starts talking about holding teachers responsible and funding charter schools.
Uncle Sam wants YOU to stay in high school! Drop outs are unpatriotic.
I almost left the Republican Party a lot of times in recent years. Tonight I’m glad I didn’t. If someone has a calculator and inclination, tell us the price tag.
This speech is totally bearable with the sound off…
Programs, programs, programs, snoooooozzzzzzeeeee. “Dropping out of high school is no longer an option”??? I guess the High School Dropout Discipline Administration will be forthcoming soon.
Now he’s going to pay for everyone’s college. But it’ll cost you in another coin, you bet.
i’ve got it now, nancy pelosi looks like the Grinch. even has that curly little smile and the green dress
Obama’s going for the standing ovation RECORD!!
Republicans cheer deficit reduction. Obama says it was inherited. Democrats don’t care.
Glad they got those earmarks out of the pork orgy, by God.
“a stimulus package without earmarks?” Pres. Obama is fond of the Big Lie, isn’t he?
Here we go.
Blame Bush.
7:05PM Hottest first lady ever?
I can’t even imagine that someone would suggest that. I further denounce Mr. Green for implying that someone would make that claim. Have you no shame sir?
Did anyone else hear him promise to cure cancer? Am I hallucinating? Tommy can you hear me?
Image and promises. Rich people will pay for everything we want. All things to all people, hoping to please all the people all the time.
Oh, we don’t torture (we just send them to other countries to torture).
Somebody get rid of the green Mao tunic on Pelosi, put her in a short skirt and some saddle shoes, a coupla pom-poms, and then maybe poor ole Joe Biden won’t have to jump outa his chair time after time.
Watching with spousal unit. He says ‘and don’t tell me it’s not about helping banks, but helping people.’ About 10 seconds later, fearless leader says it IS about helping people. Wine spit on my laptop screen and keyboard. What’s an old retired broad to do?
The market will render judgment tomorrow. It won’t be pretty.
I suggest that an Obama speech become the newest and most accurate intelligence test. If you fall for this pure garbage and convince yourself he is not lying or talking absolute nonsense then you really are dumber than soap. If you come away thinking this man is a complete charlatan you will be clearly intelligent but, unfortunately, the member of a dismayingly small minority. So much for the collective intelligence of the American voting population. They exist as testimony to the failure of of the concept of universal suffrage. blech!!
I have never listened to an Obonga speech and am not about to start now. I get my information and analysis from other sources. Besides, I have studied this man’s background diligently and I know what he defaults to. Having once been a Marxist myself, I know how they think.
#54 “jacksonhunted” probably has it right.
That was a good campaign speech.
Can I vote for Plan B?
Never in my life have I heard a more inspiring speech! I must admit that I have not been an Obama supporter; however, during this speech I had an epiphany and have come to realize that he truly is the Messiah and my salvation. No longer must I worry about the admonition in Mark 10:25; I am truly worthy to enter the kingdom of God for if I once was rich that is no longer the case.
It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. Mark 10:25
Obama was Obama. Jindal was dweeb-tastically awful. And I’m depressed. Post crap-fest, I landed here in hopes of a smile and as usual, YOU do not disappoint. Why bother hopping around the blogs when I can just sit my butt down here and get drunk and laugh. Thanks, Stephen.
(“So Come on down to Crazy Obama’s!…” Pure perfection.)
I thought I was watching a Saturday Night Live skit when Obama said he did not want to grow the government. I think milk came flying out of my nose. Then I lost it when Pelosi’s eyes shifted away from the back of his head. Even she couldn’t beleive what The President was saying.
…….asks us to “invest in this govt program”…..”invest in that govt program”……..he’s like Bernie Madoff with a gun to our head. We don’t even have a choice! He is the smoothest-talking liar we’ve seen in a while…….and he’s bringing our private sector down hard. Actually, he’s telling us most of the lines that the “leaders” in California told their citizens a few years ago………and look where it got them!
When’s the last time you cured cancer, answer me that!
Well, well, well . . . I’ve heard Obama, the future of America. And I’ve heard Jindal, the future of the Republican party. I need say nothing more.
On behalf of mister man, hot and right, high as a kite, and our fearless leader Sambo Hux, I leave you to yourselves.
I do believe he said the automobile was invented in the US. That should make the German’s happy. It would cause a diplomatic storm if George Bush had said it.
I thought the Congress sat on its hands when he praised trade and heartily applauded a rather protectionist passage (no Korean Batteries).
From my husband:
“Obama isn’t going to cure cancer. He’s not going to allow you to get cancer. That’s different.”
Anyone notice how he just happened to forget the current spending bill in Congress, the one with 9000 earmarks? End earmarks my fat, hairy, moon-glow……
This is how ALL blogs should be written. I opt for the “Wine Blog” myself (gotta get that title copyrighted). I am so glad I was able to get a laugh for a few minutes today. I didn’t watch the speech. That person’s mouth in movement makes queasy greasy things happen in my belly. I hope all future speeches will be covered in this fashion.
Someone took my purse during the speech. I swear, it’s gone!
And now we have heard, uh from, the Campaigneriichief. Good night all. Tomorrow we wake up and go get America unsickened. I am stoked!
Dang, I was drinking wine with my dinner and didn’t know it was supposed to be like Engineer Bill- drink when it’s green light, stop when it’s red light. Nancy was making me dizzy, she was like a jack-in-the-box. She kinda looked like she was in a beauty pageant with a fake, plastered-on smile. Wait, that’s me, I’m plastered. Anyway, jeez, I thought she was gonna jump his bones right there, she had the look, she thinks he’s hot.
You could sure tell who the Republicans were at the beginning, then they kinda caved in, like the teacher was watching and taking names of who wasn’t sufficiently impressed. I never watched this stuff before- did Bush get all this clapping and adoration from the whole freakin’ chamber? Has any Messiah, er I mean President, received this much adoration?
How many of those congress people winced and had a tightening of the back side when Messiah said the top 2% of the population would no longer have tax breaks- oh, it was only the Republicans because the Democrats sure ain’t woried- you have to actually pay your taxes to feel the pain.
I too have already taken responsibility. I work, have savings, still have some IRA, own my own house and never bought more than I could PAY for because I was ENTITLED to it, had only 1 child because I was paying taxes supporting all the welfare illegitimate children… OK, that’s enough. I have finished my wine allotment for the evening.
MikeD,
that’s genius. i honestly can’t think of a better IQ test. its like an advanced version of those triangles within a triangle tests (how many triangles can you see?) — the mouth breathers can only count 3 or so and then they get distracted.
my favorite cognitive dissonance tonight came on the need to bailout the auto industry. “We should not, and will not, protect them from their own bad practices” and then the next sentence of “And I believe the nation that invented the automobile cannot walk away from it.” err, so what the hell does that mean then? are we bailing them out or not, and what are the details of the gift?
Overnight stock futures tanking…
The oozing adoration and cheesy smiles was too much for me as THE ONE ascended (or descended?) to his THRONE. It is now obvious to me that THE ONE needs (like a fix) an adoring and fawning crowd who screams and faints and begs for his autograph. My brain is in a coma after that ridiculous sham of a speech. Too much lecturing and “I WILL NOT TOLERATE” etc..
The weird thing about THE ONE is how quickly he switches on his EAR TO EAR “AMERICAN MODEL” SMILE..while his eyes remain cold and slinky..
I had it on with no sound since I didn’t want to miss the rebuttal from the grown ups.
At 15 minutes past the hour, I thought, gee, is he still talking? At 30 minutes past the hour, I thought, why is he still talking? At 45 minutes past the hour, I thought, oh good Lord, is he still talking? At an hour past the hour (!), I thought, oh for God’s sake shut up already!
And Nancy P constantly interrupting with her daffy smile and clapping reminded me that any time that marxist elitist is happy, I’m about to be economically screwed.
barf.
DON’T LISTEN TO OBAMA’S WORDS: WATCH HIS ACTIONS
Nice speech on what ought to be, but look at what is being considered.
http://greensrealworld.blogspot.com/2009/02/truly-hairbrained-foreign-aid.html
The term “Sambo” used above is very offensive. Steve, get the IP address and close the thread.
Andrea writes:
“Has Obama’s hair gotten grayer already or is it just the camera?”
Andrea, if the market continues to tank and things don’t brighten in six months, he’ll start looking like Grady on the old Sanford and Son show. By 2012, he’ll resemble Uncle Ben..
..or Uncle Remus.
(Zippety-doo-dah, y’all!)
You all are pathetic, poor losers and ranting empty heads. BUSH really screwed up and THIS country booted his party’s ass out the door because of his singular and evil idiocy. There’s a new Sherrif in town folks and there’s nothing you can do about it. Keep whining and bitching. Your misery makes for great entertainment!
“Say what you will about Obama, but there’s no denying the man looks presidential.”
I trust this is more laconic humor. If it’s meant seriously, I have to say “You can’t be serious.”
Obama looks (and sounds) like what he is: an overaged college kid playing President. He will never look, sound, or be presidential. It ain’t in him. It’s all an act, and as time progresses, he will fool fewer and fewer people.
Let’s hope the fools wake up before it’s too late for the rest of us, the adults in the audience.
I remember when my teenager got his first big paycheck and he was so excited to go out and spend, spend, spend it all up the first chance he got. He spent it on all sorts of crap.
I don’t know why I thought of that just now.
From what I saw, almost Every statement made by Obama was celebrated by standing up and clapping, then sitting back down.
Those people in the assembly were excersized more than fat old Retirment Home ladies at a Richard Simmons “Work-That-Fat-Off!” event.
I betcha overall, that crowd lost over a ton of belly fat….
Waitaminnit- that was a congressional speech!? I though it was another idiotic infomercial like the one he wooed the simpletons with last fall (AllisonZ, I’m looking your way). Or would it be “afromercial”…?
QUICK! Someone call me a racist hillbilly Neo-Con Jew lover!!
Wow – talk about grasping for something *anything* to complain about. High school drop outs? Who thinks kids should be dropping out of high school? Apparently the average PJ Media reader. That explains so much. Ignorance breeding ignorance . . . .
AlisonZ:Yes, Obama was elected.
And he and his party will be held accountable for the next 4 years.
Really?
“7:34PM “Our job is to solve the problem.” OK, quit borrowing.
7:35PM “It’s not about helping banks, it’s about helping people.” The quit giving them money, and give me some! Or at least speak at Mortal Human Speed.
7:36PM Regulatory reform? Fine, great. Start by getting rid of Dodd and Frank, mmkay?”
Stephen, Stephen, Stephen….please don’t tell me that you’re a conservative if you’re spouting this nonsense.
Our entire economy functions on “borrowing.” Quit borrowing? The borrowing isn’t the problem. It’s the not paying it back!
“The quit giving them money, and give me some!” Oh please…sounding like a welfare mom there, bud. Complain about handouts if you must, but don’t sit there and say, “Where’s my hand out?”
“Regulatory reform? Fine, great. Start by getting rid of Dodd and Frank, mmkay?”"
Tell me, Mr. Green, how are you going to regulate the removal of elected congresspeople????????? Do you understand how democracy works? Or you do want a regulatory regime that is, well, anti-democratic? Here’s how you get rid of Frank and Dodd. BEAT THEM IN AN ELECTION.
Perhaps rather than drunkblogging you might want to sober up and re-evaluate whether you have principles, or just partisan loyalties.
Uh-oh.
Looks like #84 forget his own name. Luckily, he did remember his latest IQ test results.
(BTW, congrats #84; we know you never gave up trying to get it that high for such a long time. I guess there’s Hope after all!)
Now if we could just get Obama to learn the difference between a door & a window…that would be some Change even I could believe in.
There’s a new Sherrif in town folks and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Wait, so dissent isn’t patriotic any more?
Stephen Green, thank you for the update! …turns out I had to brush the dog again, so I didn’t catch the speech.
Your description of his pacing problems reminds me of one of the work floor mottos at a major (to be un-named) aerospace group I worked for in the ’80′s: If you don’t know what you’re doing, double your speed and no one will notice.
Come to think of it, that’s apparently the motto of his whole administration.
“You all are pathetic, poor losers and ranting empty heads. BUSH really screwed up and THIS country booted his party’s ass out the door because of his singular and evil idiocy. There’s a new Sherrif in town folks and there’s nothing you can do about it. Keep whining and bitching. Your misery makes for great entertainment!”
Thank you for amusing ME, AlisonZ.
Whenever a child says, “But I won”, like it answers all questions in the universe, I always smile at their naivete.
In directe response to your comment: Midterm elections
Never underestimate the response of the American public to reckless overconfidence.
QLWION; Bush did not screw up this country. He kept it sae and handled the economy quite adroitly after 911. Get you facts straight and stop echoing Democrat talking points the Democrat controlled media has put in your mouth. The Democrats can only destroy and lie.
Grow up and learn to think for yourself. Obama and Co. will destroy this country, and if you actually knew anything about the real world you would understand that. You are living in a dream world.
Is this boy getting coached by a speech instructor?
Anyone75 bleats:
“Wow – talk about grasping for something *anything* to complain about.”
..not so fun when the blowtorch is turned on your boy’s fanny, is it? Except here the criticisms are founded and more reasoned than the lunatic BusHitler excretions one sees over on the Lunatic Left.
“And I will turn to vegetation as my sole source of sustenance,” says the bear as he takes a bite out of the rabbit.
“And I will demand sobriety in this house,” says the alcoholic as he stocks his frig with beer.
“And I will be fiscally responsible,” says the spendthrift as she fills out her eighth credit card application.
“And I will hope and pray that the number of brainwashed, idiot Americans still numbers roughly 53% in 2012,” says the not-ready-for-primetime Socialist POTUS.
Hilarious….thanks for the chuckle. And Lynn….you summed up my reaction. Great campaign speech.
I watched it…and pretended to pinch Pelosi’s head…for a good change up I’d pinch Biden’s. I couldn’t fit Obama’s ears between my fingers. Bummer!
AlisonZ: you spelled “sheriff” wrong. Hey, if Obamduh is the new sheriff, would that make Biden his Barney Fife? How appropriate. Except Sheriff Taylor was actually a nice guy.
I take it it’s over. I passed out after the 10th “hope”…then had a nightmare of Obama’s big “Ears” attacking my wallet, followed shortly by a scary looking guy whispering “you can do anything”, who then ate my face….
I gotta quit reading PJM…
I was so hoping to not hear yet another campaign speech. It was boring, to tell you the truth.
But maybe that was the real plan after all? A nice little well-timed way to distract us from the Omnibus Spending Bill that has just landed like the big dollop of lard in the overflowing-with-pork deep fryer.
I was listening on the radio but only heard about half. My big snort came when he said he’d eliminate subsidies to agriculture companies that don’t need it.
Sure, he can eliminate them all he wants, and the Midwest Congressmen will just keep putting them back in…
In short, pretty much everything he said was either wrong-headed, unrealistic, an outright lie (“I’m no fan of big government”; HA!), or politically impossible. About the only thing I heard sounded good was the college tuition tax credit, but I have a sneaking suspicion that it’s actually populist nonsense, just on the company it keeps.
Why does the First Lady have to be the “hottest” ever? I would prefer that the wife of the President of the United States appear to be calm, collected, well dressed, well spoken, intelligent and intellectual. But hottest? Isn’t that sort of a Brittney Spears category?
#101-
What else does she have going for her? Certainly not her national pride; that only emerged just over a year ago. Maybe the Obambi’s are just late bloomers all the way around…I mean, aside from him being a bloomin’ idiot.