Did We Elect Borat President?
All of these goofy gaffes by the president prove that he's really Sacha Baron Cohen and we're all in his next movie.
April 23, 2009 - 12:00 am
Something is odd about President Obama. I don’t mean the usual silly political stuff that he’s a crypto-socialist. I mean he is somehow different from any other politician. I think I began to notice something was a little off when he first started campaigning to be president — but I just couldn’t put my finger on it. It was just odd to have everyone so excited about him and no one was sure why. Then there are all the weird mistakes and goofs he’s made, which only seem to keep multiplying since he’s become president. On one side you have people trying to blow those mistakes up to show what a liberal politician he is. On the other side you have people defending all his actions. I think both sides are getting fooled here.
I finally had an epiphany when Obama, reacting to the public outcry on runaway spending, ordered that $100 million in cuts be made from the budget. The $4 trillion budget. With a projected deficit of $1.8 trillion. That’s like suddenly gaining a thousand pounds and trying to offset the weight by trimming one fingernail. If Obama’s people can find $100 million to cut every year, they’ll have the budget balanced in the year 20,009 AD, by which time the human race will probably have flown to distant galaxies in an attempt to escape the massive debt that has consumed their home planet.
So why would Obama propose something so pathetically silly? I haven’t heard anyone defend this one, but the usual explanation that he’s politically tone deaf doesn’t quite cover it. This is beyond tone deaf. There is, in fact, only one rational explanation for it: it’s a joke.
There’s a conspiracy theory out there that because Obama hasn’t released his real birth certificate, that proves he isn’t a natural citizen and is thus not eligible to be president. I was dismissive of that, but now I think it’s true. If we found his real birth certificate, my guess is that it would say that he was born in England and that his name is Sacha Baron Cohen.
That’s right; we elected Borat president.
I’m like 95 percent certain about this; it just fits, the more I think about it. Don’t all the weird gaffes and the strange adoration of Obama make sense if it were all some Borat-type gag? A lot of the humor in Borat’s character is that Cohen presented him as a well-meaning foreigner who gets people to dismiss his eccentricities as cultural differences. He’d keep getting weirder and weirder to see how far he could go before people stopped being polite. He’s doing the same thing with his Bruno character for a movie coming out this summer. With Obama, though, he’s using a bit of a different approach. We had all these people (probably actors — at least in the beginning) loving him for no apparent reason and declaring to us what a smart person this new politician Obama was. Thus, everyone thought all his weirdness was just what a smart, new type of politician was like.