Death to the Vuvuzela!
They are called “vuvuzelas” and they are virtually destroying any enjoyment of the World Cup for me. While the play on the field has, at times, been sublime, the constant cacophony of these horns being blown by thousands upon thousands of fans in the stands is starting to sound like fingernails scrooshing their way across a blackboard.
The cringe-inducing noise has been so bad there has been talk of banning the instruments of torture altogether:
Forget the USA-England rivalry; the real fight brewing at the World Cup is not over soccer, but the vuvuzela, the plastic horn that when blown correctly makes a very loud and drawn out sound.
Supporters say it’s an inspiring cacophony, but critics say it sounds like a swarm of bees, drowning out fans, commentators, national anthems and generally ruining the World Cup experience for everyone.
FIFA , the soccer-governing body in charge of the World Cup, is under pressure to ban the noise-maker. It said in a statement that for now it will only outlaw vuvuzelas if they become a physical hazard, such as if fans throw the horns on the field, but that it “continues to evaluate the use of vuvuzelas on an on-going basis.”
FIFA president Sepp Blatter further clarified the body’s position with a Twitter post saying, “To answer all your messages re the Vuvuzelas. I have always said that Africa has a different rhythm, a different sound. … I don’t see banning the music traditions of fans in their own country. Would you want to see a ban on the fan traditions in your country?”
Blatter is a maroon. There is nothing remotely close to a “musical tradition” in the blowing of these horns from hell. For that to occur, music, it would be assumed, would have to emanate from some kind of musical instrument. There is no difference between a vuvuzela and a New Year’s Eve party horn. And unless you are very, very drunk, no one will ever mistake the soused blasting of a noisemaker with Tchaikovsky’s “1812 Overture.”
The vuvuzela is not a musical instrument — unless you want to change the definition to include the rack, the iron maiden, and Chinese water torture as the equivalent of a Stradivarius or a Steinway.
John Leicester, international sports columnist for the Associated Press, speaks for most soccer fans outside of Africa (and a few countries in South America where they use a variant of the vuvuzela called a corneta):
The constant drone of cheap and tuneless plastic horns is killing the atmosphere at the World Cup.
Where are the loud choruses of “Oooohhsss” from enthralled crowds when a shot scorches just wide of the goalpost? And the sharp communal intake of breath, the shrill “Aaahhhhss,” when a goalkeeper makes an acrobatic, match-winning save? Or the humorous/moving/offensive football chants and songs?
Mostly, they’re being drowned out by the unrelenting water-torture beehive hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm of South African vuvuzela trumpets. Damn them. They are stripping World Cup 2010 of football’s aural artistry.
Vuvuzela apologists — a few more weeks of this brainless white noise will perhaps change, or melt, their minds — defend the din as simply part of the South African experience. Each country to its own, they say. When in Rome, blah, blah, blah.
Which would be fine if this was purely a South African competition. Fans could then legitimately hoot away to their hearts’ content while annoying no one other than their immediate neighbors.
But this is the World Cup, a celebration of the 32 nations that qualified and of all the others that did not but which still play and love the game. Hosting planet football brings responsibilities. At the very least, South Africa should ensure that the hundreds of millions of visitors who come in goodwill to its door, both in person and via the magic of television, do not go home with a migraine. How many TV viewers who long for a more nuanced soundtrack to go with the show have already concluded that the only way to enjoy this World Cup is by pressing mute on their remote?
In most European venues (and some American soccer stadiums) the tradition is far more palatable to the senses: lusty singing by lusty men. In the English Premier League, the well-lubricated fans start singing an hour or more before the match and continue after the final whistle. The songs sound familiar — sometimes using pop tunes or even religious hymns — but the words are tailored to the specific club, or specific action on the field. Germany, Italy, Spain, France — most European sides have their own fan clubs with their own chants and songs.
Tired of the implication that I am some kind of unrefined yahoo for not “appreciating” the game, I say, “Death to Soccer”! That ought to do kill two birds.
You homophobe!
http://www.theonion.com/video/soccer-officially-announces-it-is-gay,17603/
Dictionaries are famous for having little sketches put in strategic places to serve as an illustration of some word or another.
Of course… now we have a prime example of the same sort of thing issued forth as a sound.
BZZZZZZZZZZBZZZZZZZZZ
The sound of boredom….
That’s why FIFA wants them banned. Not that the sound is an issue in and of itself, just that represents the sound of thousands of people snoring, all at the same time.
Yesterday’s match between Germany and Australia… 22 plus minutes into the match and a grand total of 3 shots on goal.
I thought of one other rule that is is desperately needed. Back court violation. There is no going back. If you get past the half line you can’t go back on your own.
Here’s to the African’s and their most profound World Cup commentary…. BZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZ BZZZZZZ
r/TMF
If you don’t like them, it is only because you are a Zionazi-KKK-racist-crossburning Rethuglican.
End of story.
Seconded.
I agree
Rick: It is really annoying to watch the games.. with all that noise..
Rick: it is clear that you are a big soccer fan as I noticed you had posted a blog why soccer is not big here. I would like to take a second and respond to your question: a little back ground:
I was born and raised in Iran and came here in 1976 at the of almost 20. I eat and sleep soccer.. I was a goalie. Before arriving to US
there was a tv channel back home exclusively for Americans and of course in black and white! I used to be facinated watching American football. not knowing the sport I thought it was free for all. people juming on each othere falling on each other.. I was facinated! It was like watching people in a no man land.
when I arrived in states and flew to pittsburg and went to my uncles house after catching up with him me turned the TV on and was watching baseball Pittsburg Pirates and someone else.. this was the first time I ever saw a baseball game.. besides not knowing Jack about the game I was amazed and and at awe why so many people were spitting! I asked my uncle whay do they spit so much and he said because they are chewing tobacco! that too I did not know existed.
My first year at Pitt was Tony Dorsset’s last year and Dan Marino’s ist year. Dan I are very ggod friends. it took me years to understand these two games and appreicte it.. However I d o not go out of my way to watch them because it simply is not in my blood..
I will watch Super bowl and tail end of baseball payoff. Although I work in NYC, I love to see the Yankees lose simply because Stienbrener is arrogant…
the company that I work for we have 4 legend seats at yankees stadidum. these are the best seats in the country and I always can go to the games. in fact the first time when Boston finally beat the yankees I had an oppurtunity to go to one of the palyoff games and watch the game form the dug out and even chat with the players!! but I did not as I mentioned to you it is not in my blood. However when I give and gave tickets away to my clients I could see how excited they were.. their eyes could literaaly light up NYC!! on the flip side if you told me here is a ticket to go to see a soccer match betwwn the Brazlian natuional team and the Germans I will be there so fast the would blow you mind!!!
But more importantly, the reason soccer is not here and as you have noticed, russia, china, Japan, koreas do not have much of a team to speak of is because tthese countires were never colonized as was all of Africa, Latin America and the middle east.. Japan did colonize china but they were never colonized by anyone else.. the same at US and russia..
Hope you are well..
I feel sorry for the South Africans who have the embarrassment of having their culture, arts and world cup totally drowned out by a marketing strategy, and as for racism, to certain people it proves their long-held bigoted believes that black folks are not only stupid, but also can’t behave themselves. If you wanted to do maximum damage to South Africa, you’d sell the Vuvuzela…
However… Blatter is the Kulturbanause-in-chief who is guilty of ruining the South African world cup by his moral cowardice.
Don’t worry, there will be plenty of reinforcement for “racist” prejudices before this tournament is over. Those “prejudices” don’t come from nowhere, you know. In South Africa, we have a saying – the difference between a tourist and a racist is about six months.
I made a point of being out of the country for the duration. Trust me, it’s going to get a lot uglier.
I’m with Thomas_I above. Death to vuvuelas and soccer. What’s an otherwise smart man doing watching a Euroweenie game?
So why can’t ABC use some noise canceling technology and screen out the noise? From the few games I have seen the horns fall within a defined frequency range. Surely a 3 second delay would allow the announcer to edit out the noise.
Those horns were invented so blind people could also understand that soccer is boring. They drone like a lawn mower, only mowing a lawn is more fun to watch.
I do enjoy watching wold cup soccer…but my god man i do agree with you that noise is so irrating, it almost makes me not watch. In fact i have only seen a couple of games and my enthusiasm to see more is being drowned out by that blasted crap noise.
Its to the point, i really dont want to watch…..PLEASE BAN them or have the TV channels somehow block that sound…
So FIFA and SA might consider banning them if they were thrown onto the pitch in anger, huh? I smell a twitter campaign in the making. Grass Roots activism at it’s finest. Tweet your friends to tweet their friends to encourage folks at the World Cup matches to start throwing vuvuzelas onto the field. I’m sure there’s thousands of soccer fans IN THE STADIUMS, who are just as annoyed with them as those of us attempting to watch the coverage on tv. They don’t specify WHO throwing them would get them banned. They just don’t want to see them on the field. Well, tweet your friends to start grabbing them and tossing them onto the field. Seeing the damn things raining down from the stands might send a message to those in charge that they are ruining the greatest international sporting event on the planet with their horns. Pass this on, and tweet your friends. Maybe we can get them banned by the end of the week, and still get to enjoy the next 3 weeks of soccer buzz free.
Yeah, and get your friends arrested and banned from future jails just for your tv enjoyment ?
So FIFA and SA might consider banning them if they were thrown onto the pitch in anger, huh? I smell a twitter campaign in the making. Grass Roots activism at it’s finest. Tweet your friends to tweet their friends to encourage folks at the World Cup matches to start throwing vuvuzelas onto the field. I’m sure there’s thousands of soccer fans IN THE STADIUMS, who are just as annoyed with them as those of us attempting to watch the coverage on tv. They don’t specify WHO throwing them would get them banned. They just don’t want to see them on the field. Well, tweet your friends to start grabbing them and tossing them onto the field. Seeing the damn things raining down from the stands might send a message to those in charge that they are ruining the greatest international sporting event on the planet with their horns. Pass this on, and tweet your friends. Maybe we can get them banned by the end of the week, and still get to enjoy the next 3 weeks of soccer buzz free.
While the play on the field has, at times, been sublime,
Sorry but are you talking of this world-cup? To this day the number of good matchs is exactly zero. True, Brasil and Spain (today, best representatives of good play) haven’t played their first match but fpr now it really looks like this edition will go into history as the worst ever.
Perhaps “sublime” is going a bit far, but it hasn’t been that ghastly. Well, except for the vuvuzelas, that is. The Germany match was a pleasure to watch, and England/US was entertaining as well. Not utterly fabulous, but certainly not as dire as you’re making out.
There are a couple of petitions online to ban the vuvuzela from the World Cup. Here’s one:
http://www.petitiononline.com/2010WC/petition.html
Rick, well said. Soccer is tough enough to watch, but these make it near impossible.
I had the game on for a minute, but that noise made it unwatchable.
I’m curious, I see names of companies around the pitch. I wonder how they would
react to less business, because they are supporting people going deaf. Plus, what about the other businesses who have commercials when the games are on tv?
Let money talk.
I actually like watching the World Cup. On the other hand, I just can’t understand the idea behind these horrible noise makers. You make noise when there is a great play to acknowledge and show your appreciation of the great play. But to make a steady droning noise throughout, just makes no sense. Do these folks blowing the horns even know there is a game being played? It is just about them being more important than the game.
It is just like all those “fans” who get dressed up in stupid costumes to attend games. I have always felt they are simply narcissists that at the game to get themselves seen on TV. We should do a survey—whenever you see someone with a crazy costume at a game, ask them their political affiliation. What do you bet the majority are Libs?
I thought it was all that soccer ruining the World Cup.
I’m originally from South Africa, and when I heard that SA had gotten the world cup, which as Moran rightly points out, was entirely motivated by PC stupidity, I groaned. Hundreds of millions of South African rands, even dollars, I knew would be wasted on some escapist sports festival while millions go hungry and sleep on the streets of urban ghettoes. Then I thought, ‘Oh my God – the vuvuzelas’.
I always considered them a pain and irritant and symptomatic of a pervasive moronism in our society, it always detracted from the often entertaining SA soccer scene (strangely in SA we called football soccer like the Americans, as well as football, both terms used interchangeably). As Moran points out, what do plastic horns blaring have to do with any African music tradition, with music at all? This is in fact insulting to the wonderful African music tradition which has produced some of the best music and rhythmic dancing anywhere. In fact it is racist, since it groups the tuneless horror of vuvuzela blowing with the wonderful and varied rich traditional music of the Bantu tribes. By doing so Blatter and other vuvuzela apologists not only downgrade and misrepresent real African music, they insult it. This is simply racism. How is insulting some of the best of African culture and their noted contribution to the world – music and dance – not racist?
In fact it goes to prove that when it comes to racism, the PC multicultural relativists are the biggest racists. Then again tell me something I don’t know.
Precisely. If this were taking place anywhere but Africa, they’d already have banned the damn things. African music is a whole lot better than that excruciating one note din we’re all treated to. And if not for the fans, then why not ban them on behalf of the players? They are definitely not loving that racket.
The vuvuzela has been gleefully adopted by the white/asian/south american soccer fan. Take a look at who is blowing them in the stands (bleechers) – all the foreign tourists.
When the white rugby supporters came to Soweto for a match that had to be scheduled there rather than in the ‘stronghold of white sport’ Loftus Versveldt because of the soccer WC, they bought the vuvuzelas on sale and created the same cacophony. Accept them (and TV producers – lease turn down the crowd noise which is drowning out the commentary).
I remember these things in the U.S. in the late 60′s, early 70′s (I think thats when it was). They were called “stadium horns” then – and were quickly banned. Haven’t thought of them in years.
I was about to say these are the same “freakout” horns we used at college games in the mid ’80s. There’s nothing “African” about these at all. Nothing!
I must be a “Zionazi-KKK-racist-crossburning Rethuglican” also, as I could care less about soccer. I will, however, take Rick’s word that some of the play on the field has been sublime, as I wouldn’t know sublime soccer playing if I was hit in the head with a soccer ball.
Actually, they DO sound like the 1812 Overture.
A few weeks ago I read that someone called Risotto “the gay man’s term for rice”.
Not being a big sports fan, it seems to me that soccer is a “gay mans term for football”
I know there’s going to be a s__tstorm of criticism for this but let’s be honest, soccer didn’t catch on when Pelee was in the US !! Add low scores and all you have is a bunch of guys in kneepads playing kickball.
I’d rather watch Rugby or Australian rules football
The ennobled and storied South African Tradition of forming petro-chemicals into long, cheap trumpets.
Heh, I’ll bet you a bottle of Talisker they’re made in China.
Hmmmm… now here’s a thought, maybe we can get the environmentalists involved in banning them because they are made with petrochemicals.
Prediction: American ‘entrepreneurship’ will feed the lemmings and flood our stadiums with the damned horn.
And political rallies . . .
Look, this is a “tradition” in SA. It isn’t ‘new’. We all know you can’t ask for manors or politeness or consideration from a culture that has ‘traditions’. Except if you are American. Then you can expect to have to sacrifice every and or any aspect of your culture to those who would demand that you do so.
[Are they still playing soccer?]
“SOCCER, Look up soccer at Dictionary.com
1889, socca, later socker (1891), soccer (1895), originally university slang (with jocular formation -er; see -er (3)), from a shortened form of Assoc., abbreviation of association in Football Association (as opposed to Rugby football); cf. rugger, but they hardly could have taken the first three letters of Assoc.”
What you call ‘soccer’ is called ‘football’ and ‘fútbol’ around the world because you kick the ball with your feet, as opposed to American football, where you use your hands (shouldn’t it be called ‘handball’ . . . ??
Thanks, Vivo. And your point is ……….? Check out #36 for a clear description of SOCCER. ROFLMAO.
It may be a tradition but listening to 235 hertz plus the harmonics at 125db for 45-90 minutes can actually damage a persons hearing. Just ask an audiologist. Thats more than standing 4-6 feet away from an amplifier speaker at a rock concert for a full hour and a half! Is that not a good enough reason to ban them?
I can see why some people are irritated. We are having a hard enough time listening to it on the television. At least we can mute the sound. Must be hell on the players..How are they to concentrate on their game with that constant racket?
Just my opinion but I think the continuous drone of these horns distracts from the game and spoils the whole experience.
Vuvuzelas? I don’t remember what they were called here in the U.S. in the late 60′s, early 70′s when kids started buying them, but they were as annoying and unwanted then as they are now.
As to soccer? Yaaawwnnnn.
It’s step-dancing with a ball, while wearing gay English schoolboy outfits. What soccer calls a “tackle” is what mean girls do to each other in a middle school cafeteria. Also, note that it’s mostly the upper middle class in America that makes their kids play the game Stateside, when those poor kids could be enjoying their childhoods instead. Many a bunny rabbit and gofer has been killed and/or displaced to make way for a bunch of soccer fields for America’s over-supervised snotty brats with bloated egos from grade inflation.
Vuvuzelas? SILENCE! I keel you.
Americans, you have a great team . SUPPORT IT!!
Also, “vuvuzela” sounds like it must be a naughy word for a naughty female body part down S. Africa way.
What do you expect from a country who’s national anthem is “Kill the White Farmer”???
I fear you are misinformed or confound South Africa with Zimbabwe. The South African national anthem calls to unity and for that reason it is composed of four stanzas: one in xhosa, one in zulu, one in afrikaans and one in english.
Here is the translation of South Africa’s national anthem
God [Lord] bless Africa
Raise high Her glory
Hear our Prayers
God bless us, her children
God we ask You to protect our nation
Intervene and end all conflicts
Protect us, protect our nation, our nation, South Africa – South Africa
Ringing out from our blue heavens,
From our deep seas breaking round,
Over everlasting mountains,
Where the echoing crags resound,
Sounds the call to come together,
And united we shall stand,
Let us live and strive for freedom,
In South Africa our land.
A Venzualian guy I work with says they allow them to keep blowing those horns, because it keeps them busy. If they weren’t blowing the horns they would be starting fights. I know, that sounds racist, but don’t worry, I’m just repeating what a hispanic guy said, so it is okay.
“… vuvuzelas … are destroying any enjoyment of (soccer’s) world cup …”
Rubbish.
Run run run
Kick the ball
Run run run
Kick the ball
Run run run
Kick the ball
Run run run
Kick the ball
Run run run
Kick the ball
Run run run
Kick the ball
Run run run
Kick the ball
Run run run
Kick the ball
Run run run
Kick the ball
Run run run
Kick the ball
Run run run
Kick the ball
Run run run
Kick the ball
Run run run
Kick the ball
Run run run
Kick the ball
Run run run
Kick the ball
Run run run
Kick the ball
Run run run
Kick the ball
Run run run
Kick the ball
Run run run
Kick the ball
Run run run
Kick the ball
Run run run
Kick the ball
Run run run
Kick the ball …
Score 0-0 …
And scores of thousands of drunken Euroweenee hooligans …
Destroy any remote possibility of intelligent enjoyment of soccer’s silly circus.
Fun to watch:
Football: really fat guys falling over a fat guy carrying an egg-shaped ball.
Baseball: guys chewing tobacco and gum trying to hit a ball they can’t see with a skinny stick
Basketball: abnormally tall skinny guys bouncing a ball a million times and sinking it in a ring kids can’t reach.
Golf: hitting a tiny ball with a chunk of iron until it falls in a tiny hole.
Hockey: chasing a black puck on white ice until somebody knocks somebody else’s teeth.
Car racing: running around in circles at illegal speeds, but no cops are chasing you.
Soccer/futbol: kicking a ball that no one can control until you lose 10 pounds.
Those stupid horns are a pest, for sure, but “football’s aural artistry” has always escaped me. In fact, it may have been a contributing factor to the death of my marriage – I finally moved into my own bedroom when it became impossible for me to sleep due to my wife’s insistence on watching late-night British football matches in bed. The crowd noise is just a continuous cacophony. How the players are supposed to hear the referee’s whistle, I have no idea.
It’s not a South African tradition. It’s a European tradition, only South Africans have mechanized it. Mindless noise. That’s entertainment.
I must be a “Zionazi-KKK-racist-crossburning Rethuglican” also, as I could care less about soccer. I will, however, take Rick’s word that some of the play on the field has been sublime, as I wouldn’t know sublime soccer playing if I was hit in the head with a soccer ball.
Don’t worry you don’t need to wear a helmet. Every blogger in “football countries” is telling that this world cup is to now the most boring and worse they can remember. This guy who says about sublime moments must have watched the world cup from his bathtub and having soap in the eyes.
“… The Germany match was a pleasure to watch …”
I am well informed (by the natives hereabouts – I’m in Brisbane) that no pleasure was experienced by those watching from Australia and/or by Australians at large.
How is a 4-0 nothing game exciting? To anyone but Germans? Ivory Coast vs Portugal. 0-0. Three shots on net, total. Spare me.
Obviously, even the fans in the stands are bored to tears if they have to blow toy horns continuously to keep themselves from dozing off.
The entire game involves people lazily and aimlessly kicking the ball back and forth until, finally, someone gets fed up with the whole pointless exercise and angrily boots the ball 100 feet over the goal into the stands.
In real football, this would be a series of 1 yard plunges, then a punt out of bounds, repeated 10 times by each team, until someone gets fed up with it and throws a wild 70 yard hail mary into the stands.
The message I am receiving from the Vuvuzela blowers is this: To those who are in South Africa, and crossed borders to get to South
Africa, and those watching the World Cup of Soccer games from outside of South, we do not care one bit about damage to your hearing
because of the vuvuzelas being blown.
Any rebuttals?
AT LAST! A MUSICAL INSTRUMENT FOR THE AUTUISTIC!
AT LAST! A MUSICAL INSTRUMENT OR THE AUTUISTIC!
Yep, I would reallllly want to spend my time watching a game which is accompanied by the noise of a zillion horns.
Soccer is so boring to watch that the fans have to do something to stay awake.
The vuvuzela has been around for sometime.
During the 2008 Euro Cup there were MANY Africans, African expats blaring these irritating horns during the matches as well.
I wonder, when the games will be in Mexico City, will 50k + Mexicans bring their accordion to the games? If so, I welcome it. It’ll be a welcome reprieve!
I couldn’t agree more. Unfortunately the only reason the decibel level of that infernal racket may subside is if all the African sides get eliminated before the knockout round, although Ghana at least looks like having a good chance of advancing at this point. Still that stupid thing seems to have caught on with brainless non African spectators (I wouldn’t call them fans)as well.
We have two active wars going on with many casualties, a stealth war with Islam slowly creeping into our conscious awareness, a national debt of over 12 trillion dollars that is heading for the stratosphere, a presidential team that appears to hate America, the Constitution, the West, and Whites, a stock market that is poised to descend to negative numbers (if that is possible!), an international gang teaming up against us at the UN on all kinds of matters…
and here we are discussing soccer and odious horns in Africa at great length! Ah yes! Let the important things in life surface and the rest sink to oblivion!