‘Communist for Kerry’ Now GOP Congressional Candidate
Originally, Communists For Kerry was meant to be a grassroots answer to the well-funded left-wing troupe Billionaires For Bush, but we quickly surpassed that benchmark.
The “Billionaires” largely capitalized on the tricks invented by the Bolshevik agitprop theater almost a century ago: promote ideological divisiveness and class envy by dehumanizing “greedy capitalist pigs” and glorifying a poor man’s hatred of the rich. Just like their Bolshevik predecessors, these modern-day American entertainers reinforced and legitimized the Marxist idea of an irreconcilable class struggle, and educated “the unwashed masses” about the only politically correct and Party-approved way of life.
The lamest thing about the “Billionaires” was the fact that the actual crony-capitalism billionaires headed by George Soros were throwing away millions of dollars in an effort to defeat Bush, and some of that war-chest money had likely trickled down to this embarrassing caricature of free-market capitalism.
Despite the uneven playing field, Communists For Kerry turned out funnier, more effective, and with a larger following. Our task was also more challenging: we mocked liberal snobs while surrounded by them. The snobs were not amused. Some of the “intellectually superior” elitists, however, were gullible enough to take us at face value. They approached our table to cheer us up and shake our hands. Upon hearing our foreign accents, they welcomed us as some sort of Red Dawn-style “liberators.” Mission accomplished.
At one point, two DNC workers stopped by to thank us for our support of John Kerry. They thought we were totally cool and left with the conviction that both communism and Kerry were good for “the people.” Says Jason:
They were quite happy to see us. I told them we needed to make sure all people stand together to defeat the imperialist Bush regime. The young lady said to me: “That’s so great, it’s nice to see so many diverse groups out here today supporting our candidate.” I then asked them if we could take a picture for our scrapbook and they gladly participated.
A more typical reaction, of course, was foaming at the mouth, followed by flying spittle and foul language. At the same time, Billionaires For Bush were exclusively preaching to the choir inside New York’s gigantic liberal echo chamber.
But when it mattered, we beat the “Billionaires” on all counts — in wit, guts, nerve, web traffic, and link popularity. Nearing Election Day our website approached ten thousand daily visitors — an impressive gain for a start-up with no budget. The media coverage was mostly negative, but frequent. From various American towns people sent us pictures of their own CFK-like masquerade. By then we had hundreds of online members and thousands of fans around the world. We inspired a spin-off group in Australia, where a similarly divided election was happening at the same time. Even at political rallies in France there were infiltrators in Communists For Kerry shirts.
Our number on Union Square also grew: during the last “revolution” our group consisted of at least thirty men and women. They were a diverse bunch of individuals of different ages, incomes, races, immigration status, and sexual preferences. What united them was the satisfaction of mocking leftist radicals by impersonating them. Not all were in character. There was, for example, one gay singer with an in-your-face handwritten sign on his shirt that read, “Fags for Bush.”
We didn’t limit ourselves to Union Square. When the Dan Rather controversy broke out, we staged a “takeover” of the CBS headquarters in Manhattan, establishing the “freedom zone” and posting a sign that read, “You are leaving the American sector.” At another time we staged an absurdly grotesque protest at the Fox News street-side studio on Sixth Avenue.
The high point of our theatrics was the infiltration of the large anti-Bush demonstration and protest rally during the Republican National Convention in New York on August 29, 2004. Dressed in ridiculous costumes and carrying Communists For Kerry signs, a dozen of us walked through a thousands-strong leftist crowd, from 37th Street along Seventh Ave and past Madison Square Garden.
Jason led the way. A former Marine dressed up as Che Guevara with a big cigar, a megaphone, and a deadpan look on his face, he heralded hilariously absurd slogans:
We must end the two Americas! First North, then South! And then we will all move to France! (See full report here — and pay attention to the puzzled looks of the leftist protesters around us.)
Working the crowd in Che costume was not all Jason did. There probably would be no Communists For Kerry if it weren’t for Jason’s planning and organizing. I mostly did the web-related work: graphics, writing, photographs, and web formatting. Others had their duties too, yet Jason was the leader. He was the kind of leader anyone would want to have as a boss: open, funny, generous, determined, and easy to work with.
Good work comrade.
love your work Oleg.
regards
Thank goodness Mr. Atbashian & his comrades are on OUR side! The United States is an even more glorious place for having them in it, & I mean that sincerely. Now, where did I put my shovel? . . .
Hell, Comrade Oleg, I’ll have to have the gallant Workers and Sailors of the Red Banner Northern Fleet flogged so that they support Comrade Greg with “voluntary” contributions from their Party ration books.
(TOTALLY UNLIKE the unjust and exploitative Capitalist shakedown of the proletarians known as the “Combined Federal Campaign”!)
In their true party zeal and dedication to the cause, they will be happy to forego half of their turnip ration.
I remain;
I.I. Bilgemanski
Admiral
Red Banner Northern Fleet
I think, whether people like it or not, this is the kind of young political activist that is going to shake things up for the Republican Party. Don’t forget all the men and women coming home from Iraq and Afghanistan, they will be in the mix too. Maybe its what this country needs. We certainly don’t need any more of the same old same old. There is every possibility that these folks, their youth, their vitality, and their outlook on life will strengthen the country.
If you were to set up a web site to take donations for your communist activities, I’ll bet you would get rich quick. And you could probably qualify for stimulus funds.
And who in our Department of Justice would prosecute you for anything?
(If sarcasm has to be explained to you, then you’ll never understand anyway).
Racism isn’t ever funny. We’ve spent decades trying to fight it and we don’t want your racist posters in Florida.
Was that serious or where you just trying to express yourself korrectly?
‘Decades’ ain’t long enough, honey! An’ besides; Yo precedent trying to bring it back!
For correct Socialist Thought and immediate Collective Action, I hereby nominate Comrade Sue W. for the Order of Lenin!
By her prompt conflating of anti-Communist rhetoric with racist hate speech, the comrade has, in the highest traditions of Bolshevik political subversion, advanced the Party’s interests by smearing the forces of reaction and thereby silencing any objections to the enactment of the Marxist-Leninist program for America.
All hail, Comrade Sue W.!
I remain;
I.I. Bilgemanski
Admiral
Red Banner Northern Fleet
(just a taste of the everyday highjinks at the old CFK site. Tuesdays were “Denunciations Night”…always a crowd-pleaser! Saturdays would be the “Show Trials Matinee”…you know, for the kids.)
“Anti Communist” equals “racists”?
Are you aware of how blacks were treated in the USSR? Do you know the kind of abuse aimed at the black revolutionary students from Africa while they attended University in Moscow?
The communist party participation in the US civil rights movement, and they were present, was based on the assumption that the bigots in the US were as stubborn as the bigots in Russia. That the US would be torn apart by race riots and racial warfare, just as Russia would have been had they been forced to treat blacks as equals.
Thank you, Sue.
You have provided iron-clad evidence (no pun on the iron curtain intended) that any dissent from the leftist gospel is to be labeled “racism.”
Thanks for being so brainwashed (and perhaps brain-dead) that you didn’t even see that you were claiming racism where there’s not even a hint of it, just criticism of a lily-white (Kerry is of Austrian, Hungarian, and Scottish heritage) lefty politician.
You might want to cut up your race card and toss it in the trash. It’s worthless now.
We hear you on the pleasure of protest; What is your position
on the daily pain in the drain of administering a government ?
I, comrade Winston Smith, after denouncing myself for living in Victory “Mansions”, hereby have glorious announcement to the world:
“Rats aren’t so bad, at all!”
Das Pravda
WS
Airstrip One
Oceania
So where WERE you guys in 2008? Afraid to offend Comrade Sue?
I was a big fan of C4K, and The People’s Cube today.
You guys are brilliantly hilarious, and I encourage you to keep it up.
I hope he wins, and gets to Congress.
One of my favorites was the Korrect answer to Pajama’s Media, The Gulagoshpere.
The all-red Rubik’s Cube, ensuring equality of results is a stroke of genius as well. If the GOP can’t laugh along with us mocking leftists, then they are truly bigger idiots than I ever thought they were.
I recall Brian Wilson of Fox News coming out on the street and falling for your act, until he got back upstairs with the production staff and figured out it was parody. I saw that report when it first aired, and have been a fan of your work ever since.
The Great Patriotic Graphics of Revolution are awesome.
Long live the Revolution!
Das Vidanya Komrade!
Bravo! Bravo! BRAVO!
This is a hilarious story, and it does my heart good to read of your Lenin-inspired antics. I bet that the notorious Fegelein is jealous.
Your Union Square operation reminds me of one or two of my own free speech operations, west of the Hudson River, in the middle of howling crowds of compassionate progressives who outnumbered us, at least 100 to 1. What those gentle, easygoing progressives do not understand is that it only takes two or three people to bear witness effectively in a seething crowd. Think of the efficiency rating! Two or three people having fun get the message out to a few thousand dyspeptic, hostile, heartless progressives. Excellent.
I hope your boy Sager can defeat Alan Grayson. GO, SAGER! GO!
Hilarious in the extreme, Oleg! I salute your, and your friends ingenuity. It occurs to me the left is trying the same tactic with the Tea Partiers. Problem is, lefties have no sense of humour so they get spotted right away. Kinda’ like Germans that way. (no, I kid…maybe)
Comrade,
Loved the CFK site! Fantastic.
Thanks for publishing this explanation for all to see and give the whereabouts of the Revolution.
Next time,include a link to Jason’s campaign. I’m sending money today!
You can reach the new revolution at http://www.standwithsager.com
I am glad he’s not running anywhere I’d have to decide to vote for him, because he was a complete jerk in 2004. I have cause to remember being personally insulted without cause. Little as I am pleased with the GOP, I would be hard pressed to vote for this jerk.
Dianna- please provide details how he “personally insulted” you. Otherwise your condemnation is meaningless. You need to know that your statement above clearly identifies you as a liberal troll.
“Dianna” is clearly the type of person who is “personally insulted” by the mere existence of people who would disagree with, much less parody, any leftist.
Contact me anywhere you like – I use only this nickname – such as Ace’s. I’ll be happy to send you the correspondence. No liberal, no troll, simply remarking with some jaundice on a puff-piece.
Oh, no. Dianna hat spoken. Forsooth, this Sager fellow is unelectable now. xD
Party is very pleased with work of Oleg Atbashian, offers the following reward for faithful service to communism–
Comrade Atbashian shall not be placed in a state mental hospital and given half kilo of thorazine daily, YET.
Comrade Oleg will be treated to daily specialties of Soviet food supply system, superior to all capitalist cruelty in food supply business– today’s specialty for Comrade Oleg is a shortage of beef, which will require his waiting in line for full day at GUM food store, to be told about shortage at end of day as are all good Soviet linewaiters.
Comrade Atbashian shall be permitted to fill out bureaucratic forms to request meeting with local council at which to ask permission to fill out forms for other purposes which will be denied him.
The Soviet Union thanks Comrade Oleg, for whom these special things will remain a part of life until he dies in his mid 50s due to complications from alcoholism.
Parody, against a parody of a human being like Grayson?
Why not?
What a great article. Jason has been given a gift from God to be on the journey he is on. I am sure on that dreadful Tuesday, September 11, 2001, he had NO idea where his path would lead him or who he would meet along the way. How many candidates are invited on the Glenn Beck show? Not many. (In case you didn’t see him, check, http://www.standwithsager.com ) The pictures are like 9/11 happened yesterday. No one will EVER forget where they were that morning. Something magnificent is happening in our country.
Thank you for writing this and being a part of his life in 2004. Bravo to you young Patriots for standing up for America. TOGETHER, WE WILL TAKE OUR COUNTRY BACK.
Hail Comrade Oleg and Comrade Red Square. If need be I can use all power of KGB and illegals (not day laborers) to advance revolution. With help of Boris and Natasha we will win. To heck with all capitalists and moose and squirrel.
Democrat Culture of Death
. . . Just yesterday, a Democrat candidate for New Hampshire’s state legislature, Keith Halloran, expressed his regret that former Alaska governor Sarah Palin and her almost son-in-law Levi Johnston had perished in the Alaska plane crash which took the life of former senator Ted Stevens and four others: http://tiny.cc/isr1g.
Sick? You betcha, but explicable for the Party of Death, aka the Democrat Party, which wallows in the morbid. While accusing Republicans of being cold-hearted and insensitive louts who want to throw grandma under a bus, in truth, it is they, the Democrats, who feel free to voice death wishes for conservatives and crack funnies about conservatives dying of liver disease and in plane crashes.
It’s a natural inclination for certain people to project their own cheerless and gruesome psyches onto others as a defense mechanism to conceal their own sick and morbid thoughts. . .
(Read more at http://www.genelalor.com/blog1/?p=1839)
I will be standing with Mr. Sager from the Peoples State of Georgia, in this most glorious cause!
Great article! Great history lesson!
Welcome to America, comrades. Just in time to get rid of the Communist er Demoncrap party in America.
Anybody who helped Bush get re-elected deserves to be a Berlin Wall in terms of a sledgehammer. The only thing glorious here is the degree of numbnuttiness.