Census + Satire = Sanity
By now, perhaps you have received your “warning” letter from the Census Bureau. For those without eagle eyes to discern the picture above, here’s what it says:
About one week from now, you will receive a 2010 Census form in the mail. When you receive your form, please fill it out and mail it in promptly.
Your response is important. Results from the 2010 Census will be used to help each community get its fair share of government funds for highways, schools, health facilities, and many other programs you and your neighbors need. Without a complete, accurate census, your community may not receive its fair share.
Thank you in advance for your help.
[Signed – Robert M. Groves, Director, U.S. Census Bureau]
You might wonder why a gun rights writer wants to venture into this topic, but remember that taxation is another way to ban guns, by reducing disposable income available for self-defense tools and training. Certainly, the anti-gun Brady Campaign understands this.
What they’re really saying
“About one week from now, you will receive a 2010 Census form in the mail.”
We’re spending millions of your tax dollars on a letter telling you that an important letter will be arriving soon. If we could have figured out how to send out a warning letter for this warning letter, we would have done it. After all, it’s not our money.
“Results from the 2010 Census will be used to help each community get its fair share of government funds …”
First we took your earnings as taxes. Next, we gave as much as we could justify to our corporate sponsors, and now we want to fool you into believing we care about you by throwing the remaining crumbs your way with great fanfare.
But first, you must grovel for it by giving us private information about your family. Forget that at tax time, we knew exactly who you are and where you live. That was a different computer system, and since it costs more to maintain multiple separate systems, we can justify raising taxes to cover the extra expense.
“… government funds for highways, schools, health facilities, and many other programs you and your neighbors need.”
We know it was originally your money, and you could have built schools and hospitals more economically had you maintained local control of it. If you don’t like it, tough [deleted expletive]. Besides, you didn’t spend hundreds of millions of dollars in campaign contributions in the last election, so you didn’t qualify for bailout money.
“Without a complete, accurate census, your community may not receive its fair share.”
If we divide the American people down to the community level and pit them against each other, they will be so busy fighting over the crumbs that we can continue splitting the pie between us and our corporate sponsors. Divide and conquer!!!
“Thank you in advance for your help.”
We were going to put a shorter word in front of “you” but decided to feign civility.
“Representation” now denotes feeding at the trough.
Oink, oink, oink!
Will someone please inform us just exactly by law we are required to answer either on form or at the door. Please
I wish a few lawyers would inform us, pro bono of course, what items[questions] in the census we can legally avoid answering.
Howard;
Nice piece! In addition to the above mailed notification, about a week after they mail it they then mail a little 3×5 reminder postcard.
By now, I actually expect my official 2010 Census to arrive this week… Maybe.
And myself, I’ve already inquired as to what I was required to answer, by law, as opposed to what they may ask.
All I plan to provide them with is number of persons who live at my address. Which I believe to be bare acceptable minimum.
For reference, see: http://censusfacts.info/index.html
Well, I won’t give advice — but I will give authority:
I would say, for myself personally, that giving SOME answer to every question is necessary to comply with the process aspect of the statute — the sovereign’s questions (even the mistaken ones) should be dignified with some response — a “No, thanks” perhaps, but even so. See St. Thomas More …
As to the substantive part — Demanding the authority for the question may not be the response they are looking for, but “you have no Constitutional authority to ask that by the census power, and I have a Fourth Amendment right to object” IS an answer that I would give to some of it.
The specific questions refused is necessary to establish an proper indictment or information on a failure to answer, and so the contents (and authority for) the questions are implicitly material and therefore challengeable as to their authority or warrant for the each specific inquiry: U.S. v. Little, 317 F.Supp. 1308 (D.C.Del. 1970). IOW, the government cannot gang proper and improper questions together to found an indictment for a generalized failure to answer. OTOH, each question is a separate violation, if lawfully required and willfully not answered.
A Constitutionality objection has been noted as being possible (though not raised in the particular case). U.S. v. Rickenbacker, 197 F.Supp. 924 (D.C.N.Y. 1961.)
An inquiry not specifically authorized by the census statute is not subject to penalty of failure to answer. U.S. v. Carter, 4 U.S.Dist.Ct.Haw. 198 (D.Haw.,1913). A fortiori, a question not authorized by the Constitutional power for the Census it seems ought not be penalized either, e.g. — one other than directed to the “the whole Number of free Persons, … , and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons.” Anything else seems a search for information not warranted by probable cause, and presumptively forbidden under the Fourth Amendment. Since the Fourteenth Amendment, defending the legality of any longer distinguishing “Indians not taxed” and “three fifths of all other Persons” (read “black”) would be an interesting argument.
This is what I will be attaching to my census, I hereby affirm that the provisions of title 13 “requiring” me to disclose my race, personal finacial data, birthdate or any other personal,private information to the bureau of census,an agency of the United States government: Constitues an unresonable unwarranted search of my persons house, papers and/or effects:and is a governmental invasion of the sanctity of my home and the privacies of life. As such the provisions violate the fourth amendment of the US Constitution, and are thus wholly void and I am not bound to obey them. I have completed only those sections of the census form pertaining to the constitutionally mandated actual enumeration, as follows: 1 The actual number of of people living at the adress printed on the form, excluding untaxed native americans..2 Age of each person in accordance with the US Const. amendment XIV section 2. 3 Sex of each person in accordance with the US Const. Amendment XIV section 2…I have thus fulfilled my obligation to the attainment of the actual enumeration of the populace of the United States… Found this online and will attach it to my census form….
Guys, how ’bout this: ___(you fill in the #) people. Period. That’s it. Nothing else.
Thought provoking analysis and discussion. Scary, too.
5. The whole point of excluding “Indians, not taxed,” was that they were not supposed to be citizens of the United States, nor subject to our laws, but rather citizens of their Tribe, and subject to its laws.
I plan on going with Rush’s idea and checking the “other” box for race and then filling in the blank with AMERICANS.
Obama doesn’t scare me, I live month to month, I own my car and lease my home. I don’t have credit cards or student loans anymore and I don’t need them. They could always throw me in jail, but I don’t break the law or recieve welfare so I guarantee its cheaper to keep me out of jail than to let someone out and give me their bed. He needs my taxes as much as he needs the convicts vote.
Just a thought:
What if the only people who failed to fill out the census were Jehovah’s Witnesses? Presumably, census workers would be dispatched to do a manual count. Two possible things would happen, both of which might be amusing. First, some Jehovah’s Witnesses might realize that it can be annoying to have a stranger come to door and start asking a bunch of questions. Second, other Jehovah’s Witnesses would figure it doesn’t matter which side of the door their on, and they would start explaining their religion to the census workers. Either way, I think the rest of the population comes out ahead.
Got this from the Census Bureau’s response to my question about counting diplomats, illegals but not expats (who pay taxes) for the purpose of determining the number of reps in the house and senior centers.
The Census Bureau bases its decision about whom to count on the concept of usual residence. Usual residence, a principle established by the Census Act of 1790, is defined as the place a person lives and sleeps most of the time. Usual residence is not necessarily the same as legal residence or voting residence. Census forms are sent to everyone in the United States. So, if a person’s usual residence at the time of the census is in the United States, we count that person.
1790 – Yes that is correct!
Could someone explain to me the rationale behind refusing to provide information to the census? My understanding is that the data is used for statistical purposes and not to create an identifying record. The census web site confirms this. I don’t have a problem with being one more increment in a record of college educated white males 30-35 in SE Michigan, for example. Am I missing something?
Once again I’m disappointed that alleged conservatives here won’t bother to look up the actual law on filling out the census. U.S. Code Title 13, Section 221 reads:
Disclaimer: IANAFL but it appears to me that the maximum fine for failing to answer any questions is $100, and the maximum fine for providing false information is $500. The Census Bureau claims that the fine for failure to answer is up to $5,000. Perhaps someone here will be able to point to that particular statute because I can’t find it.
I would be in favor of having Jehovah’s Witnesses handle the census. They will do it for free if they can slip in a Watchtower brochure. And they get to scope out the housing stock for when the world ends for the rest of us and they get their pick. Let’s have them deliver the mail also. Come on Obama, here are some savings you can believe in.
#14
The Constitution of the United States plainly states what questions are to be asked. Race isn’t any of them. The constitution trumps the bureaucracy.
The form has me confused.
I just sent an email to census.gov asking how many drops of African blood I can have before I’m required to identify as Negro.
I’m a Jehovah’s Witness and you guys are hilarious. I’m thinking of listing myself as: RACE: Human. What do you think?
Hey, Dr Leakey says the oldest human ancestors are from Africa. Doesn’t that make us all African American?
Realm of Mind
General description:
A semi-independent Energy-System existing simultaneously in multiple dimensions, identifiable in part, as a physical Form having become a manifest presence at a relatively singular point in the space/time continuum. Perceived purpose of physical existence: Physicality, in part, providing a means by which one may directly or indirectly interact with energy fashioning the construct of a particular so-called ’physical’ environment, including but not limited to experience with both inanimate organic material and various other animate, semi-independent life forms. In brief, a study of ’existence’ as a thing separate and distinct from most all other energy forms. Perceived purpose of civilization: Amelioration of ‘humans’ from the otherwise miserable conditions of physicality. Limitations: all relative to Mind and Energy use. Individual physical form designed to fail to regenerate and cease function in 120 years or less. Humans emerge into the physical state devoid of certain knowledge and must therefore be taught nearly everything. One result: indoctrination to certain ideas and ideologies, some inhibiting problem-solving endeavors, others affording potential for further development toward perceived goal of advancing civilization.
Race: Other than Ape. (Source of genetic material separating members of the so-called ’human race’ from their ancestral, more indigenous, primate root-stock counterparts–unknown. Subcategories of so-called ’humans’ generally now most correctly attributed to traceable demographic region of variances in genetics. Subcategories frequently but erroneously transposed into colors and confused with ’ethnicities’ ( Ex. ‘Black, ‘White’ are colors, not ‘races’. ‘Hispanic’, an ‘ethnicity‘, not a race. ) Primary categories: Mongoloid, Caucasoid, Negroid and Hemorrhoid ( Exact causality of latter category still under investigative study. While examples are present throughout the entirety of the ‘human’ strata, the distinction becomes accentuated in certain ‘humans’ having undergone seemingly metamorphic changes into appendages of government, including but not limited to politicians, bureaucrats and employees of various governmental agencies. ) Identifying terms for aspects of physical habitation ( via use of so-called ‘English‘ language): Planet: Earth. Land mass: North American Continent. Country: once-United States of America
State:_____ County:_____ City:_____ Address:_____ GPS Coordinates:_____Name as provided: _____Government assigned identifying number(s):________
Any Questions?
If you live in a “blue state” destroy your census form.
PLEASE! – Don’t put “human” or other joke answrs. The census won’t count it.
The proper protest race is “American”, which IS included in the official tally. In 2000 enough folks wrote in “American” that in many counties it was the dominant “race”
see
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Census-2000-Data-Top-US-Ancestries-by-County.svg
It also sends a stronger message than other possible write in answers – we are all Americans!
-fellow “American”
Under race, I did put in “human,” as I believe that Dr. King wanted us to be judged not by the color of our skin but by the content of our character. I didn’t do it as a joke, but because it made me mad.
To Question #9 Human is the answer, as that is the only RACE on this planet, the choices listed are ethnicities.
Q: What is your RACE?
A: NASCAR – Daytona 500
I received my census form in the mail yesterday, March 15. A sheet inserted in the envelope impressed me to fill out the form and mail it immediately! The instructions on the form ask me to list the names of the people who live at my address as of April 1. It is impossible to comply with both of these commands. If I felt like engaging in useless conversation with a bureaucrat, I would call and ask for an explanation.
19. Suicidal idiot:
You may be suicidal (in this economy can’t blame ya), but you’re no idiot, Sir/Madame. The PC Moonbats must twist themselves into knots trying to game the ‘race-baiting’ system with that ‘un.
Thought I would pass this on from a concerned citizen. It is a response to the US Census Bureau. I like it. I have copied it, attached it to the census I received today and it will be posted out first thing tomorrow.
Memorandum
To: US Census Bureau
From: Head of Household
Subject: 2010 Census
Dear Sir or Madam,
I want to thank your organization for the efforts it is making to ensure that the constitutional requirements for enumeration are being fulfilled and that the citizens of this country are being accurately enumerated for the sake of representation and apportionment of taxes. However, after carefully reviewing the document, I have noted the absence of any requirement to identify the citizenship of individuals completing the census form. In addition, the survey asks questions which are outside the scope of our constitutional mandate.
I believe this error may potentially cause an erroneous realignment of representation which will only serve the purposes of bureaucrats and politicians and may also cause an apportionment of taxes and programs which benefit those who are ineligible due to their illegal status within this country. The policies of this current administration have only served to spread fear and distrust among the population of this country. Americans are concerned that the constitutional foundations of this country are being dangerously eroded. For example, the current congress and administration are trying to force upon the American people a health care program and are using dishonest means and efforts to force their will upon the American people. There are other examples and too many to mention in this letter.
In light of this concern, I have chosen to adhere to the strictest sense of duty to my country and honor the mandates of our truly awesome constitution. Until I feel safe to once again trust our elected officials to truly uphold the constitution and protect our American way of life, I cannot and will not offer any information that I believe lies outside the scope and mandate of our constitution. At this time, I believe the constitution offers me a safe haven which protects the values which are important to me.
Therefore, my answers shall be limited and expressed as follows:
Five American born citizens reside at this address.
Again, thank you for your efforts and I pray that your organization will in the future, honor and protect the integrity of our constitution and avoid politically motivated mandates which can unravel the fabric of our great nation.
Signed: Head of Household
Had this been a census under a Republican administration, the article and comments would be expressing the brilliance of the whole enchilada . . .
I have yet to look at my census form, which is curently under a large pile of unread mail, but I’m annoyed with all of the census advertising that’s being done. On the radio, I’m hearing more census ads than auto dealership ads. And our tax money is paying for all this.
Just mail the forms and let us fill them out. Stop wasting our tax money informing us of what we need to do so that you can more evenly waste more of our tax money.
The census asks what race I belong to. Included in my choices on the census form is “Native American”. Interestingly, Native Americans are not a separate race. Hispanics are a part of the the caucasian (white) race. And since we are on the topic of hispanic ethnicity, since when is SPAIN not considered along with the rest of Europe? Why not separate out Italy or France for that matter? My background is Sicilian. Hawaiians are singled out. I don’t get it.
I was taught in middle school that there are only THREE races. It appears the census bureau is confusing race and ancestry and ethnicity.
If the census bureau would like a complete assessment of ANCESTRY, then the bureau should word it as such.
This section of the census will need to be left blank because it is meaningless to me.
Well, I may have opened a can of worms….I copied their lil post card they sent me, and sent them a certified form…I asked them to please produce the statute to me, showing me where it is “illegal” for me not to answer the “cesus”, that i would like proof that they have the right to threaten me in this manner….blah blah blah…. it goes on for a page and a half….yeah, they might come knock on my door, but they better have that statute in hand when they step on my property.
100329 I clicked on the “Sign the Petition” signal overlaying the video ut nothing happened. I tried several times. Someone should fix it promptly and make it ‘plenty fast’ navigable.
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