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Why Does Barack Obama Hate Our Economy?
The president hates any system based on merit, given his singular lack of real accomplishments.
Beware the Christians!
Comparing the Christian right with the brutal ayatollahs in Iran is childish nonsense.
Memo to the Left: How About Redirecting the Rage and Scorn?
Murderers of peaceful protesters deserve at least as much outrage as Bush and Sarah Palin, don't they?
Conservatives Beware — Lest You Drive Moderates to Extremism!
Why can't the right see the wisdom of having two parties that are virtually indistinguishable from each other?
Our Next Contestant: Miss Anti-Abortion
Wouldn't it be nice if we farmed out our political debates to beauty pageants?
GOP Warlords vs. the Cybernetic Monkey-Men
In the post-Obama wasteland, moderates will be a great source of cheap labor and — in a worse case scenario — food.
Oh, for a Justice Mary Poppins
She must be kind. She must be witty. Very sweet and very pretty. Oh, and empathetic too.
The Superior Moral Position on Torture
How dare we support tough measures against those we label as "evil" just because they want to blow up our citizens!
Did We Elect Borat President?
All of these goofy gaffes by the president prove that he's really Sacha Baron Cohen and we're all in his next movie.
Why Do the Pirates Plunder Us?
It's time we give these buccaneers the respect and help they deserve.
Obama vs. Kim Jong Il: Who Is the Greater Leader?
Let's compare what our press says about our dear leader with what the North Korean press says about theirs.
Government Motors (GM) Unveils its First Model!
The Obama of automobiles is the vehicle all responsible citizens have been waiting for.
When Taxes Attack, Make Sure Your Gun Is Loaded
Some handy tips on how to fight increasing revenues.
Why AIG Really Needed $170 Billion in Taxpayer Money
We're all just too stupid to understand how to spend those kind of bucks.
Could Obama Be Just Too Awesome?
While the president's brilliant radiance may fill us with boundless ecstasy, it could actually hurt the eyes of those unused to such light.
Why Is The Michael Phelps Scandal Still Smoking?
Let's revisit what we expect from our Olympic athletes and whether we should be getting all prudish about this in the first place.
New Year’s Resolutions for our Political Elites
Some pithy promises our politicians might want to make for 2009.
A Modest Proposal for Training Future Presidents
Let's think outside the box when it comes to choosing a leader, shall we?


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