Just when you think you've got the voters in a liberal frame of mind, reality blows all your plans to hell.
It was probably a lot easier back in ancient times to figure out who the stupid people were. They were the ones who did things like taunt the mammoths.
Because in the Democratic land of epic, mega, ultra, apocalyptic levels of sucking, those who kinda suck are king.
We should treat them all just like known mafia members; we don't have the evidence to send them to prison just yet, but we'll keep the FBI constantly on their tail.
What is America coming to when a seven-year-old girl can flout the law and defy the government?
The problem isn't that we hate other races. The problem is, we hate the wrong race.
I'm not exactly sure when it happened, but being for gun control has gone from a legitimate political viewpoint to mental illness.
It's not like the only evidence of the Holocaust was a bunch of scientists pointing to a computer simulation saying what they think would happen to the Jewish population in Europe.
This whole oil spill mess just sort of highlights the fact that Obama has no idea what a president is supposed to do.
There really is no one better suited to talk to conservatives about the dangers of extreme rhetoric than liberals.
The point isn't who he is, it's that he's catnip for crazies.
The average citizen probably wouldn't have even studied the issue, other than maybe looking Guam up on Wikipedia, seeing its president has the odd name of "Barack Obama," and dismissing it as an enemy Muslim nation.
Terrorists can use guns, make bombs, and survive in caves. Liberals are scared of loud noises and apparently can't survive if their every need isn't provided for by the federal government.
America hates patronizing dimwits who would spend their money and push them around, thus making liberalism very unpopular.
Why do liberals insist that the freedom enjoyed by a child is superior to that treasured by adults?
Maybe a third party would be a complete disaster, but a fourth party could actually work. Sort of.
If the people were saying, "We're blowing you up for Jesus," we actually know pretty well where to point to in the Bible to show them that's wrong.
In the spirit of Game Change, here are some other little-known tidbits from the election.
Typical intolerant America. Any day now, there'll probably be a proposal for separate drinking fountains for terrorists.
For starters, maybe we could try to owe fewer dollars in debt than there are stars in the known universe. (Also read Roger L. Simon: "2010: A Year of Living Dangerously?")
Bearded, obese, and probably mentally unstable, Santa is someone we obviously don't want near our children. (Also read Claudia Rosett: Browsing the White House Christmas Catalog)
Liberals have only one piece of wisdom to add to any discussion about war: "This war is just like Vietnam!"
It's not because of how we inhibit them politically that the left despises us; they hate us for our freedom.