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Frank J. Fleming
Election Question: How Can We Tell the Stupid People From the Smart Ones?
It was probably a lot easier back in ancient times to figure out who the stupid people were. They were the ones who did things like taunt the mammoths.
Republicans Kind of Suck … Which Is Why They Will Win Huge in November
Because in the Democratic land of epic, mega, ultra, apocalyptic levels of sucking, those who kinda suck are king.
Suggestions on How We Should Treat Our Congressmen
We should treat them all just like known mafia members; we don't have the evidence to send them to prison just yet, but we'll keep the FBI constantly on their tail.
If Life Hands You Lemons, Don’t Make Lemonade without a Permit
What is America coming to when a seven-year-old girl can flout the law and defy the government?
The Absolute, the Best, the Most Brilliant Solution to Racism Ever!
The problem isn't that we hate other races. The problem is, we hate the wrong race.
What Do Flat Earthers and Gun Control Advocates Have in Common?
I'm not exactly sure when it happened, but being for gun control has gone from a legitimate political viewpoint to mental illness.
How Can Climate Change Advocates Equate My Skepticism to Holocaust Denial?
It's not like the only evidence of the Holocaust was a bunch of scientists pointing to a computer simulation saying what they think would happen to the Jewish population in Europe.
What Obama Needs Is a Change of Job Description
This whole oil spill mess just sort of highlights the fact that Obama has no idea what a president is supposed to do.
Who Is the Expert on Extreme Rhetoric?
There really is no one better suited to talk to conservatives about the dangers of extreme rhetoric than liberals.
Saving Guam from Capsizing All in a Day’s Work for U.S. Congressmen
The average citizen probably wouldn't have even studied the issue, other than maybe looking Guam up on Wikipedia, seeing its president has the odd name of "Barack Obama," and dismissing it as an enemy Muslim nation.
Liberals Are Mostly Not Exactly Like Terrorists
Terrorists can use guns, make bombs, and survive in caves. Liberals are scared of loud noises and apparently can't survive if their every need isn't provided for by the federal government.
America Loves Conservatism
America hates patronizing dimwits who would spend their money and push them around, thus making liberalism very unpopular.
The Freedom to Be an Adult
Why do liberals insist that the freedom enjoyed by a child is superior to that treasured by adults?
Forget a Third Party — Let’s Go for a Fourth Party!
Maybe a third party would be a complete disaster, but a fourth party could actually work. Sort of.
Does the Middle East Need More Christians?
If the people were saying, "We're blowing you up for Jesus," we actually know pretty well where to point to in the Bible to show them that's wrong.
More Scandalous Stories About the 2008 Campaign
In the spirit of Game Change, here are some other little-known tidbits from the election.
Of Tolerance and Terrorists
Typical intolerant America. Any day now, there'll probably be a proposal for separate drinking fountains for terrorists.
New Year’s Resolutions for All Americans
For starters, maybe we could try to owe fewer dollars in debt than there are stars in the known universe. (Also read Roger L. Simon: "2010: A Year of Living Dangerously?")
Have a Merry Government-Regulated Christmas
Bearded, obese, and probably mentally unstable, Santa is someone we obviously don't want near our children. (Also read Claudia Rosett: Browsing the White House Christmas Catalog)
War Is Too Serious to Involve Liberals
Liberals have only one piece of wisdom to add to any discussion about war: "This war is just like Vietnam!"
The Real Reason Liberals Hate Us
It's not because of how we inhibit them politically that the left despises us; they hate us for our freedom.
Handy Tips for President Obama on Behavior in Foreign Countries
Before you tell a foreign leader what a great Rottweiler he has, make sure it's not actually one of his children.
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