(5) Try telling Americans something like this:
“I understand that you may never get excited about me. I can be pretty boring. I’m not as flashy as Newt, nor am I a rock star as many thought Obama was in 2008.
“I’m not the ideal guy to go out and toss back a few beers with. I don’t even drink beer.
“I was in the top 5% of my graduating class from Harvard Law School and Harvard Business School. I know those schools don’t impress anyone anymore because Obama graduated from Harvard Law School and W graduated from the Harvard Business School. So I don’t expect you to respect me because of my education.
“And I know many of you find my religion strange. That’s your prerogative. I’m not trying to convert you. As I said in the debate last night, as your president I’ll be guided by the principles articulated by the Founding Fathers.
“What I am offering you is something no other candidate, Republican or Democrat, is able to offer, and it happens to be the single most important thing the country needs now: my services to get our nation out of the economic mess we’re in.
“Everyone agrees that this is the most important election in more than six decades.
“As a nation we’re in the worst shape we’ve been in since the Great Depression. You don’t have the luxury of electing a candidate who’ll make you swoon, who’ll uplift your spirits and make you so proud and happy you voted for the most exciting candidate you’ve ever seen in your life.
“This is the year to vote like a drowning man, because that’s what our country is. I, Mitt Romney, have a lifeboat with about 310 million life jackets. That’s what you need, America: not a comic, not a star, not a fast-talker, just a serious-minded man who understands money, finance, fiscal responsibility, and how to repair a broken economy. This is what I do and I do it well.
“Vote for me for president and your grandchildren will be able to vote into office another rock star president. Vote for anyone else this year and you’ll look back on 2011 as the best year you’ll have for the rest of your lives. Your grandchildren won’t be able to afford a rock star president, or anything else.”
– Belladonna Rogers