Dear Governor Romney:
Unasked for, but gladly offered, here’s my best advice for you to increase the chances for your election to the presidency in November 2012:
(1) Prepare for every debate as brilliantly as you did for last night’s. You were ready for every single question and every one of Gingrich’s attacks on you. Your criticism of him was right on target, and delivered with previously unexpressed zeal. You were sharp, focused, and appropriately fierce. Perhaps one day, the leaders of Iran, Cuba, and other hostile nations will hear such eloquent fierceness rather than the fawning obsequiousness to which they’ve become accustomed from the president and his administration.
(2) Don’t try to be amiable and likable. You were at your best last night when you let it rip, in a gentlemanly and dignified way, and let Newt have it between the eyes. I don’t think he knew what hit him.
(3) Stop trying to persuade us that you and Bain Capital were in the business of creating jobs. It doesn’t fly. It is legal and OK to be in business to make money. It was far better last night when you said that rather than attacking an American for being capable of creating wealth, such skills should be seen as an advantage that would serve the country well.
I’ll put it to you in one of the simplest concepts in the law: You know the legal concept of a third-party beneficiary: that in a contract between A & B, it is possible that C may benefit from the work that A & B do together under their contract. But A & B haven’t agreed to work together for the purpose of benefitting C. They’ve signed a contract to benefit each other. That C also does well is a happy byproduct, but neither A nor B should ever try persuading the public that their work was intended to do C any good.
That’s what’s wrong with arguing that Bain Capital “created” jobs. That wasn’t your or Bain’s purpose and Jane and John Q. Public know that. I think last night’s debate may have been the turning point for you: when you said, “I’m proud of being successful,” you won over more voters than with anything you’ve said previously about Bain. I’d stick with that approach in the future.
(4) Admit to yourself that no one outside your family and your own circle of friends and business associates is going to vote for you because they’re wild about you.
For most people, and that means most Republicans, the phrase “I’m just not that into him” has seemed to fit you to a tee.
We’re just not that into you. You sometimes come across as a little too self-satisfied for many viewers. Not that you don’t have reason to be satisfied with yourself. You do. It’s just not appealing to see someone as pleased with himself as you appear to be. But you’re not going to change and this isn’t the time to try.
Luckily for you, the president doesn’t have to be loved. He or she has to be able to do the job. That’s where Obama has failed the country. He’s not up to the job. You are.
That’s your best argument for voting for you. Not that you’re lovable or that you’re a regular guy (you know you’re not), but that you have what it takes to get us out of this economic morass and leftist la-la land the incumbent has foisted upon us.