A Parent’s Pride and Fear: My Three IDF Reservists
Soldiers wait to be called, and their parents die a little bit inside during this wait.
Our three sons are infantrymen, reserve soldiers who expect to be called to active duty to finish the business of putting the Palestinian terrorists out of business. They are ready, literally, to answer the call. They left their cell phones within easy reach on the Sabbath so their unit commanders would have no trouble reaching them
Sara and I are proud parents who did our national service a while back, but we both know a few things about speaking to and/or fighting with Arabs. We know defeating Hamas and jihad is not something you can accomplish from the air. But going in on the ground means exposing your soldiers — especially your infantry — to risk.
Daniel, 28, who just got engaged this month, also trained as a medic. He has been looking at places for a wedding in May. Yoni, 26, the jazz pianist in the family, is from the “engineer” branch where they have taught his dexterous fingers to prepare and to dismantle devices more destructive than a piano. Lately, he has been attached to some hush-hush infantry unit whose name he will not tell us.
Elad, our 23-year-old, is from the elite sayeret (patrol) units of the Golani brigade, where the boys love to snack on barbed wire and go on 70-mile hikes with a full pack. Elad’s idea of a good time is doing push-ups and pull-ups — a regimen that he inflicted on his campers last summer in Camp Ramah, where he was the sports counselor.
None of the boys has a military career or thought of one, and none of them is especially bellicose or spends spare time tracking and hunting animals, but they have each been trained to fight to protect their country from external invasion and from the more insidious threat of terror.
Sara and I know what wars are like. Sara’s brother Yossi nearly burned to death when his vehicle was hit by a Syrian anti-tank missile in the 1973 war. He was knocked out, ammunition inside his armored personnel carrier (APC) exploding around him. Fortunately, Yossi regained consciousness and pulled himself out.
It took him months to recover from burns over his whole body, and he still carries some shrapnel in his chest. Well past his 50th birthday, he was a reserve infantry colonel doing almost 60 days a year of active reserve duty.
I was a war correspondent for Israeli Army Radio — Galei Tzahal — in Lebanon during the 1982 war, and this gave me a chance to go all over Lebanon using my Arabic, French, and English to get some interviews off the beaten path.
Israel overturned the PLO terror state in Beirut and southern Lebanon, which was similar in many ways to the terror state run by Hamas in today’s Gaza Strip. One almost never got real news out of Lebanon in 1980-82 that the PLO did not like, and one almost never sees a report from Gaza today that Hamas does not like.
The PLO and the Syrians browbeat the Western press corps in Beirut. People like Tom Friedman and John Kifner of the New York Times and Robert Fisk, then of the London Times, and reporters from the Associated Press and Reuters did not probe too hard into PLO or Syrian actions nor report how some reporters were harassed or even killed.
Kifner was among a group of reporters kidnapped by a Palestinian group, but he did not report it until an Israeli official embarrassed him by going public with the story.
Like Kifner, Friedman also pretended the PLO was a benevolent presence.
Friedman and Fisk willingly believed much of obviously false Palestinian claims about Israeli participation at the Sabra-Shatila massacre, with Fisk also describing Israelis as behaving like Nazis. Somehow, neither man showed much enterprise reporting on Syrian massacres of Syrians in 1980 and 1982. I wonder why. (Today, Friedman likes to claim that he invented the term “Hama Rules” for Syria’s Hama massacre, but that really only took place when Friedman wrote his book about Lebanon when he was safely outside Lebanon.)
These same “intrepid” reporters lovingly passed on every bit of PLO propaganda, including the farcical nonsense that Israeli bombings had caused 600,000 homeless in southern Lebanon, when the entire population of southern Lebanon did not even reach that number. (A fuller description of how the press interacts with terrorists appears in my book on terror.)
After the 1982 war, we discovered how the PLO kept the population of southern Lebanon under its thumb, and I suspect that if Hamas gets sharply curtailed, we may suddenly discover that whole apartment complexes in Gaza City have been built atop concrete bunkers housing Grad missiles and Fajr-5 rockets.
This pattern of the press playing patsy for Arab-Islamic terrorists has repeated itself to greater or lesser degree in many subsequent conflicts, with Hezballah even digging up corpses and taking bodies from refrigerators in order to stage “mass killing” pictures in 1996 and 2006 in Lebanon.
Just after the 1982 Lebanon war, I met Sara. Someone noticed our common interest in Arabs and Arabic, and brought us together. Sara teaches Arabic by profession, but today she is a mosaic artist. I am an orientalist/journalist/political scientist, and my doctorate studied how Yasser Arafat used his broadcast media to hold power.
After listening to hundreds of hours of Palestinian radio in Arabic, I know a few things about Palestinian discourse, nuance, and threat. This background is a mixed blessing, because it really hurts me during this period of tense waiting — when we are glued to TVs, computers, and radios — to watch the carefully coiffed TV news hosts mouthing the regular inanities about “the cycle of violence.”
Hundreds of rockets and mortar rounds have fallen on southern Israel in the last week, and thousands more have fallen in the last few years, mostly since Israel withdrew on its own from Gaza.
We still give electricity and water to the Gazans, although no one has ever explained to me why.
Most Israelis I know also do not know why, and most Israelis have common sense. They also stick together in times of war, even or especially when air raid sirens go off in Tel Aviv and Jerusalem.
At sundown on Friday, we got a siren. At first I thought they had started doing the Sabbath siren in this part of town, but it was a loud and eerie siren, with up and down wailing. That is an air raid siren. We are on a new street, and the siren is really in tip-top shape.
People were going to synagogue and some were just walking about in the German Colony section here, mostly tourists. The tourists got really scared and started running, and about 50 people huddled in our garage area because we are the nearest safe place to Emek Refaim Street in the German Colony. “Emek Refaim” literally means “Ghost Valley” in Hebrew, a kind of humorous name for an area that is always crawling with tourists. Thank God it was a false alarm. The terrorists shot something in the direction of Hebron or whatever, and it fell in an open field somewhere.
Afterwards, Hamas radio bragged that they hit the Knesset.
That reminded me of the big Arab claims during the 1967 war. Cairo radio broadcast — in Hebrew – that their forces had struck Tel Aviv and that their forces were proceeding on all fronts. The problem was that they used the wrong Hebrew word for “front,” instead using the word for “brassiere.” The result was: “Our forces are proceeding on all brassieres.” The Israelis had a good laugh, and we hope this war ends with a laugh and not a whimper.
As for Israelis, you have several kinds. In Jerusalem, we go to synagogue, go to the post-prayer Kiddush, eat our herring and kugel (maybe chulent), pray and go to sleep. In Tel Aviv, they go to the pubs, unless there is an alarm, and then they go to friends in another town. In Ashkelon and Ashdod, the newest sport is to go out to the anti-aircraft batteries and to watch the show. The police had to be called in to tell the folks (“the folks” is my tribute to U.S. politicians and media) to find some other form of entertainment.
And then there are the out-of-work politicians and know-nothing reporters who take up the airtime on radio and TV saying nothing, but trying to push their own careers.
Sometimes they remind me of the guy at the funeral who likes to build himself up by crawling on top of the corpse: he spends time talking about himself, so much time to remind everyone what a friend he was of the guy who just died.
Well, we in Israel are not dead. We feel very much alive and we do not need the has-beens and never-was-es of Israeli politics like Shaul Mofaz, Tzipi Livni, etc. of the moribund Kadima Party trying to recapture a moment of air time with the hapless media hype types.
So far we have been very lucky, partly due to the careful strategic planning of the army and of Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Defense Minister Ehud Barak, but also due to the terrific performance of the new anti-rocket system known as “Iron Dome” which has hit over 90% of the incoming rockets headed for populated areas. The system is designed to ignore rockets that are headed to empty fields, because each “Iron Dome” projectile costs about $40,000.
And yet, there have been three deaths and more than a dozen major injuries. The people in Kiryat Malachi, south of Tel Aviv, were taken by surprise because they had never been targeted before. Three people died. Several infants were injured. Do you think their parents will be interviewed on CNN or BBC? I doubt it.
There is a pretty good chance we will have to do some ground operations in Gaza, because you cannot defeat terror only by air strikes. The first part of the war was about decapitating the Hamas terror leadership and hurting their long-range rocket capability. But our real strength is the people in Sderot and nearby towns, who have been attacked for more than a decade. We should salute them. And now we owe them. We owe it to them to remove the threat. We are doing a good job, and we hope God will help us.
Like other Israelis, Sara and I are long-time observers of the Arab scene, especially the Arab terrorist scene. We are under no illusions that mediation by Egyptian, EU, Turkish, or American officials will convince Hamas and jihad fanatics that we are not “the sons of monkeys and pigs” — as one Hamas official said again, yesterday.
When EU mouthpiece Catherine Ashton speaks of a need for a “proportional” Israeli response, we realize we are dealing with someone who does not have a clue about warfare, strategy, or justice. The police do not use “proportional force” when fighting murderers, and Hamas jihadis want to murder an entire society.
Another leader who does not understand this is President Barack Obama, who says he supports Israel defending itself — as long as it does not really fight too hard.
At times like this, most Israelis know we have to protect ourselves, and no one else will do it for us. Our problem is that we are also parents.
We really wish it did not have to be our children going into battle.






Indeed, wars are won by the infantry, not from the air. G-d bless you and your sons. May HaShem protect them.
The question is rather philosophical : Israel has to do again what he ounce did with PLO in Lebanon.Why again ? Why Sharon did this unbelievable stupid unilateral withdrawal from Gush Katif and the philadelphy corridor ? Why do Israel only reacts to the arab-islamic agenda ? Why our strategic thinking is almost crippled by waiting for the “peace-in our lifetime ” ( Chamberlain’s dixit 1938) which is the narrative of 4/5th of Israelis medias +politicians while at the same time the iranian nuclear program is running at full speed. Israel s running after a mirage , while waiting for a crude reality awakening with iran going nuclear power .Since 1993 Israel has stalled , it’s pretty obvious but a country stalled is doomed to breakup , or slow grinding.
Raphael, ALL good questions…and as to the expulsion/destruction of Gush Katif – http://adinakutnicki.com/2012/06/22/the-bitter-fruits-of-disengagement/
Truth be told, our leaders will be the death of us, and this is why we are where we are.
Islamic barbarians LIVE to kill Jews, but our leaders are mandated to protect us – at all costs! However, they are incapable of standing strong, in front of international pressure, a pressure which will NEVER support Israel’s attainment of victory.
And it is this lack of statesmanship which must be placed at their doorsteps. The onus is on them!
Hi Adina,though I praised your opinion, I would like to read the answer of the author.The continuous wearing of Israel’s will has turned into nihilist inertia.
Sharon did exactly what Beilin-Sarid were asking, but could not deliver being too leftists.That was the turning point , Hamas was elected and crushed in blood the PLO .Now we are UNABLE to wipe out Hamas, we are already looking for a truce, instead of looking for a regime change.We are UNABLE to retake the Philadephia corridor to stop the arms smuggling.Such a continued weakness is very damaging, especially in our relation with the USA, since who needs a weak ally , unable to call the shots ?
We have sufficient artillery and air power to do the job.
Why endanger our children and grandchildren when it is we who are under attack?
Menachem,
Yes, if I had my druthers the strip would be strafed…but the poohbahs in charge hew to Washington.
This is exactly why we are where we are; they are too terrified to do what must be done!
Because it is gravely immoral to kill innocent civilians, even if the enemy does.
It isn’t because of international opinion. First we’ll only survive here if we’re united, and being brutal similar to our enemies would divide the nation. Also we have a strong great army because Israeli parents allow their kids to be drafted. Believe me that wouldn’t be the case if they thought for a second that their children would be ordered to aim at civilians.
Michael, this blogger shares your heart stopping angst,pride too, as she too has two IDF reservists! But we/they have no choice, but to soldier on.
This tells my story – http://adinakutnicki.com/about/, and it explains why giving up is NEVER an option.And why I do what I do.
And to those who pooh pooh our angst, come and live a day in our shoes, as missiles fly over your head, and as your children go out to battle these barbaric monsters!
I’m currently reading Michael’s book, Battle for Our Minds: Western Elites and the Terror Threat. I can’t recommend it highly enough. What passes for “reporting” of the current Gaza conflict is but the latest example of what he documents in overwhelming, scrupulously sourced, detail not only of the mainstream news media’s failure to inform its readers/viewers of what’s truly happening in the Middle East but of its intentional and/or negligent misinformation/disinformation.
If George Orwell were alive today I imagine he would simply shake his head thinking to himself, plus ca change, plus la meme chose, the more things change the more they stay the same.
When will people who espouse Western values finally learn the painful lessons of the past century and realize that “united we stand, divided we fall”? When will those who purport to be “journalists” as opposed to what they really are, propagandists and cowards, grasp that feeding the crocodile so it eats them last is a myopic, dead-end strategy?
I fear that most people in the West will wake up and realize that this isn’t simply a war between Israel and Hamas or Israel and the Arab/Muslim world but between civilization and barbarism only after 9/11 is dwarfed by a far greater and far more deadly terrorist outrage or outrages, by which time it may be too late to successfully defeat the forces of darkness.
Israel truly is the canary in Western civilization’s mineshaft. If the U.S. and other supposed allies are unable or unwilling to stand beside her in this great struggle then they must at least stand aside and allow Israel to fight this latest battle unencumbered, a battle that anyone who lives in the real world and can see past their nose knows will surely and sadly be but one of many battles to come in the long war.
Just ordered your book.
Thank you for a good, intimate discussion of the problems Israel faces now.
“Peace will come when the Arabs will love their children more than they hate us.” Golda Meir
Thank you, Michael, for writing so beautifully that, above all, we worry for our children.
Boachem B’Shalom
Greetings:
Back during my military daze, my favorite Platoon Sergeant told me about a statue of an infantryman with his rucksack and bayoneted rifle that was located at the Infantry Training Center at Fort Dix, New Jersey. The name of the statue he said was “The Ultimate Weapon”.
Sad but true.
Your story tugged at my heart. I pray you and your sons will be safe
AN YISROEL CHAI
As one of those “children” that went to war, I know the strain it put on my parents. I spent my week of R&R in Hawaii where I met my mother as it was the only way I could convince her I was alive and it wasn’t someone else writing her all those letters I had sent. I had her pretty well convinced I was in a safe place and we were walking along the beach when I was suddenly down and digging into the sand. Taking R&R in the first part of July wasn’t such a good idea after all.( danged fireworks!) Even after returning home it was a long time before I quit grabbing for my imaginary rifle whenever a car backfired. The look on my mother’s face when she saw me do that spoke volumes.
Dear Sara and Michael,
Every moment, while watching Israel on the news in California, I think of you… Involuntarily, a small unconcious prayer comes into my heart…asking the Almighty for an end to this madness, so your family and all other families in Israel remain safe from harm…R
I just returned from packing care packages to send to our soldiers. Many are near the border, sleeping in tents or tanks – ready to go into Gaza if necessary.
The desert nights are cold.
With Michael, I salute the people of Sderot and the other areas in the South
for their fortitude, I salute Sara and Michael and pray for their sons and all
our soldiers.
If anyone wishes to help – A Package From Home is a relible organization founded
by an American Ola (immigrant) which sends care packages of warm clothing, toiletries, cookies and letter from Israeli children. If you like to knit, they
also have a project knitting wool caps for the soldiers. Here is the link to
their web site for more info
http://www.apackagefromhome.org/
“you cannot defeat terror only by air strikes.” I dunno, seemed to bring a rather abrupt conclusion to that spot of bother we had with the Japanese.