A Modest Proposal for the Reestablishment of the Prussian State
It is melancholy to contemplate the homeless condition of the Prussians, an ingenious people whose remarkable antics in prior ages did so much to enliven the politics of Europe. Indeed, now that world opinion has grasped the necessity of returning the descendants of the Arabs of Palestine to their ancestral residences, it must certainly be the hour for a similar service to be rendered on behalf of those belonging to the tribe of the great Frederick.
For while it has been some time since that glorious state known as Prussia graced the map of our fair continent, still the lands of the Prussians were theirs and theirs alone, until that fateful day not yet seven decades past, when the awful Poles, seeking to reestablish a country for which the world had no apparent need, rudely cast them out.
Thus exiled, at barely the same moment as their Arabesque counterparts, the poor Prussians have ever since been forced to endure life stateless, wandering amongst such diverse foreign peoples as Saxons, Westphalians, Rhinelanders, Bavarians, and, even in some cases, Americans, people with whom they have nothing whatsoever in common, and whose company they must certainly find nearly beyond endurance as they continue to pine away, yearning in eternal agony for their lost homeland.
Oh, the pity of it all! Does not Justice herself cry out in anguish, denouncing the continuance of such hideous circumstance? Surely all men of reason and good will must give their whole-hearted assent to the proposition calling for the rightful return of the Prussians and their reestablishment upon their native land in their natural state. But how can such a noble and necessary project be accomplished?
Here is my plan. Let the nations of the world send out their constables to seek out and gather up the Prussians, their sons and daughters, grandsons and granddaughters, wherever they may be, so that they may be returned to their true country. To this, the Poles may object, but no matter, as land can certainly be found bordering upon the area of Polish occupation, upon which camps of many tents may be erected, capable of housing the Prussians in all their myriads, until the day of their deliverance arrives.
A witty and brilliant analogy. (Don’t forget, however, the Prussians’ Baltic, not Germanic, lineage for that can be woven in as well.)
I believe you are confusing the Kingdom of Prussia, which was a German monarchy based in Berlin, with the Baltic Prussians, an ethnic group who lived on the coast of northern Poland.
The Kingdom of Prussia was known as Brandenburg until the early 18th century, when Friedrich the III of Brandenburg retitled himself Friedrich I of Prussia, in order to try to gain the loyalty of the local nobility in Prussia.
Even by that time, the Prussian people had mostly assimilated among the Germans and Poles of the Baltic coast and the Prussian language was extinct. The name “Prussia” was henceforth used by the German monarchs of Berlin, but it’s really something of a historical coincidence.
Then there is the little-known Yenish, the Gypsies of Switzerland, which Switzerland has an embarrassing history in dealing with. As reparations, little well-armed, peace-loving Switzerland could be forced to give up their financial/banking enclave- Zurich- and it’s environs, and, if given resistance, the Yenish should unilaterally declare an independent state. Oh wait, then there was Owain Glyndwr, the ‘William Wallace’ of Wales, who lost to the ever-expansionist English, then there is Scotland, Ireland, Alsace-Lorraine, the Kurds, Cyprus, gee, the list is endless. They could couch it as a ‘world economic recovery act’ whereby any and all oppressed peoples- real or perceived- are armed to the hilt, allow say 1-2 months of bloodletting, then a ‘Pax Terra Ferma’ could be declared, ushering in world-wide peace.
Does that mean I get to move back into the house where my parents lived when I was born? I don’t know who lives there now but it was mine first!!!
Sure. We are going to have to relocate a lot of Poles back East where they came from before 1945.
Well done!
Why get hung up between Prussia and Poland when you can give the territory containing St. Petersburg back Sweden?
What am I missing in current events? Is there a silly club of Prussian supremacists newsworthy?
Hindsight offering 20/20 perspective, this satire might be funny given contextual completion. But then, perhaps Prussia might be permitted an element of respect for their long tradition that includes preventing the Muslim Turk invasions into Vienna over the centuries. And while sympathizing with the fate of Poland, it’s own government might be held accountable for absconding with Prussian territory after WWI and then refusing the alliance Russia offered that would have prevented/postponed the NAZI invasion allowing itself better preparations and negotiations with the Allies. Poland has its own bruises and grudges to be considered, but that don’t relieve Poland of the consequences of its own prejudices.
So far as Americans are concerned historically, if we value the aid from the French Monarchy, we should as well remember the aid of the Prussian mercenaries who trained George Washington’s Revolutionary Army into an effective fighting force through discipline.
I’ve noticed a lot of anti-Germanic diatribe in the media these recent months aimed at brow-beating conformity within the EU forcing Germans to bankroll other nations’ bankruptcy bail-outs. The British media are smearing the Germans with the old anti-Nazi propaganda as if applicable, linked to Ace of Spades HQ last week claiming stupidly that there are no Jewish employees at German Banks. This parody smears today’s Germany as if NAZI. As far as anti-Germanic propaganda goes, it went a long way in creating the “Great War to End All Wars” which decimation of a united Germany provided opportunists power to abuse and cause WWII, which conclusion benefited socialism throughout Europe and America.
I wouldn’t want to be taxed to fund bail-outs that benefit the cause of the corruption, either. That’s one of Americans’ gripes against our own government. Why should Germans be obligated to pay for the extravagances of other countries, particularly when those bankrupted countries have yet to alter their spending habits, and Germans have exercised the self discipline to do without rather than over-spend?
Btw, how’s Poland’s finances?
Imagine if we’d gone into world war 1 on the side of the Prussians instead of the French? The whole fiasco of WW2 would have been avoided and the French could have not acquired the reputation for surrender without cause.
You can have St. Pete – after the Swedes establish a homeland for the Sami and pay them reparations for the work the Swedes forced the Sami to do in slavemines.
Obviously the Finns are getting Karelia back.
I demand Beringia back from the Pacific Ocean.
Winner! Close the thread.
No! My ancestors in Atlantis claim all of Prussia and all other lands of the oppressed!
An amusing and inciteful allegory but I think you mean ‘principal’ not ‘principle’. Sorry to be pedantic.
Um…not to be pedantic, but wouldn’t that be insightful?
A most satisfying analogy to address the insanity of palestinians [no-capitalization since there is nothing proper about that identity] . . .WELL DONE.
Excellent parody. One small quibble, though.
When you refer to a “Schmeisser”, this is what it looks like;
http://www.collectorebooks.com/jamesauction/subguns/34648.htm
What most people call a “Schmeisser” is actually the Erma MP-38/40 machine pistol;
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MP_40
This mistaken identification is apparently the British Army’s fault, going back to 1939-40. Hugo Schmeisser had nothing to do with it, as he didn’t work for Erma, who designed it in-house to correct some of the Schmeisser MP-28′s more egregious faults in modern mechanized warfare (weight, lack of a folding stock for easier handling inside vehicles and aircraft, etc.).
The fact that old Hugo keeps being incorrectly credited for their innovative design irritates Erma (which is still in business) no end.
cheers
eon
Repeat after me – ‘Hande Hoch.’
I also propose that turkish should go out of Anatolia
Can the Armenians go back?
sure, why not? as long as we don’t find Hittites willing to sue the Armenians in Tha Hague court
I like the general gist of this article, but it’s off a little in that no one, but absolutely no one today identifies as Prussian, either in reference to the old Germanic Kingdom of Prussia or the Baltic ethnicity of Prussians.
On the other hand, if you ask anyone from Germany today about their family history, there is a very good chance (20%-30%) they will tell you their parents or grandparents had to flee the Baltic coast/the Sudetenland/western Poland/Koenigsburg/Danzig, etc. at the end of WWII. Probably at least 10 million ethnic Germans in all, many of whom are still alive. Many of course, were killed by the communists and angry local Slavic populations. Their blood was forfeit. Within living memory, these people became internal refugees in East and West Germany and had to make do with very little sympathy or support from their fellow Germans. From what I understand, this is still something of a taboo subject in Germany today. Everyone is waiting for these people and their stories to die off.
Many of these Germans owned extensive property in Eastern Europe before the war. They were lucky to escape with the clothes on their backs. No country in Eastern Europe, even after the fall of communism, has offered them any restitution. No one today, even in Germany, wants to acknowledge that they have any kind of grievance, let alone a separate identity, even though many of them had lived in the Baltic, East Prussia, etc. for hundreds of years, had their own dialects of German, their own intellectual, literary, and folk histories and traditions.
Everyone in Germany sees these people as an embarrassing reminded of WWII. But they did not start WWII. They were not even citizens of Germany at that time and did not vote in the German election of 1933.
Millions of people with a unique cultural heritage, untold billions in property loss, the ethnic cleansing of half of Europe. Many of these people are still alive now. Their children still remember. And no talks about it. Just because they ended up on the losing side of a war they had little say in.
Oh Well. Have a good weekend, everyone.
Excellent points. A great source of information on this topic: “Bloodlands — Europe Between Hitler and Stalin.”
just a little internet search will reveal that there are indeed those seriously pushing for the return of Sudeteners to Sudetenland.
And no, the Chechs weren’t very nice during the expulsion.
You ought to do more than a little search, although I am not sure you as irredentist need it. But Sudeteners? Surely you are joking! To start with, Sudetenland was a Never-Never Land, and those briefly living in it were mostly German. German expansionism broke the back of Czechoslovakia in 1930′s, and those Germans living in what originally had been the Kingdom of Bohemia (Bohemia = Czechia; German-speaking inhabitants = subjects of the King of Bohemia, just as anyone else, OK?) generally took part in the process. They did some ugly things to the Czechs, and ugly things were done back to them as soon as WW2 ended. It was only natural.
It is very sad that it all resulted in heavy losses to and on, both sides. But that is history.
Irredentism in this instance is, frankly speaking, ridiculous.
The Sudeten German’s support of Hitler was caused by their treatment at the hands of the Czechs after they established their republic in the aftermath of WWI. Germans were treated as second class citizens in the new republic, and were naturally resentful. When the Sudeten Germans were kicked out after WWII, there weren’t enough Czechs to replace them. Entire villages were abandoned and never repopulated. I know whereof I speak. Our family was driven out, after living there long before any Czechs showed up in western Bohemia.
I do not quite see your point; I did say it was all very sad.
As you know, Bohemia was Bohemia. Not Bavaria. Not Saxony. Not Prussia. As you also know, in feudal times German-speaking subjects were invited to Bohemia by sovereign rulers thereof; they conquered no territory – they heeded the call, came in peace, and settled down. No more, no less. The land they inhabited was and remained sovereign, and their mere presence never made it part of a German Reich.
You make a broad claim re: Germans as second-class citizens in Czechoslovakia. I would be interested in how you substantiate the claim; else, I will have to consider it a canard (as I do at the moment).
“absolutely no one today identifies as Prussian”
Not quite true. I am acquainted with Gunter Nitsch, an elderly gentleman here in Chicago who was born in Prussia in 1937. His family was expelled from Prussia in 1950. (Most Prussians had fled during the war.) His book “Weeds Like Us” (http://www.amazon.com/Weeds-Like-Us-Gunter-Nitsch/dp/1425967558) tells the story.
Mr. Nitsch told me that in Germany, there are still societies dedicated to preserving Prussian regional culture (folk music and dance, food, etc). They aren’t very active any more, but they’re not absolutely extinct.
“…but it’s off a little in that no one, but absolutely no one today identifies as Prussian…”
That’s easy to fix:
1) Declare that the Prussian Right of Return is inalienable, extending to children, grandchildren of Prussians unto the tenth generation.
2) Establish an UNRWA for Prussians.
3) Have an alliance of 5 states permanently at war with Poland until the situation is resolved (Germany, Russia, Baltic states, etc.)
4) Establish an Al-Jazeera for the Prussian cause.
And within 10 years you will have a few million Prussians pining for their ancestral homes.
After all, in 1948 nobody identified themselves as “Palestinian” – except for Jews living in Palestine.
As a Prussian I would like to add that we do not send our children to blow themselves to smithereens, but educate them and raise them to be productive citizens.
We are also well known for our administrative abilities and governments the world over could use that expertise to root out corruption, put order into chaos and in general advance the cause of civilization.
What is the ONLY country in the current mess that is the EU that everyone is looking to for help? Germany – not by accident the country with the largest percentage of us!
Better leave us where we are…nicely intermingled everywhere to provide the only hope for inserting some sanity into what surely is a huge mess everywhere.
What Europe needs right now are some good Prussian Field Marshals.
Molkie the elder
Maybe the Prussians will simply be given a state, just like the UN is about to do for the Palestinians next week in New York. You never know. Next week you may just wake up and have two new countries popping up: Palestine and Prussia. I’ll bet the first two countries to recognize Prussia will be Russia and China. China always loves recognizing new countries, unless you’re talking about Tibet. Then they hate it.
We descendants of the United Empire Loyalists (Palistinians of the North), here in Canada, demand the return of the 13 colonies! Justice!!1!
How about a compromise? We give you Obama, Vermont, and maybe the Left Coast from the Bay area up to Seattle?
Deal?
The people of the independent state of Sierra Nevada will never yield to the hegemonic imperialism of Canada!! We demand a free and independent land of logging, gold mining, and big trees for ourselves and our posterity!!
LOL! My bad – how about we just give Canada the six counties around the Bay, Eugene and Portland Oregon, and King County, Washington? The ceded territories don’t have to be contiguous, though we might have to put a fence up around those areas.
Can we put up the fence either way?
Bismarck was giving a speech one day in the old Reichstag. While he spoke, some old Junker started shouting, “Preussen ist assur! Preussen ist Assur!”, Assur being Assyria—you know the old poem, “The Assyrians came down like a wolf on the fold,/ Their cohorts all clothed in purple and gold—-”
“At German beer festivals here, during the parade of the flags of all the old erman states, great standing ovation is given when the Prussian flag is announced. Prussia is not forgotten!
Should the Prussian monarchy be restored? “Heil dir im Siegerkranz! Herrscher des Vaterlands! Heil Kaiser dir!” Fly the old tricolur of black, white, red?
Almost unknown is, that Prussia was in the end, the last years of the Weimar Republic, known as the “democratic bulwark” in Germany. Hitler had to topple the Prussian government in the “Prussian Coup” to begin the destruction of the German federal and constitutional system. If you ask most people, Prussia only stands for militarism.
My English ancestor was captured by French privateers in the late 1600′s and sold back for ransom.
When, France, are you going to do the right thing and give me my reparations?!
The King of Sweden nationalized a mine in Norway owned by my ancestors. Another ancestral line was kicked off a farm in Norway.
How do I spin these historical wrongs into some of that Norwegian oil cash?
Reunite Gondwanaland!
Give the lands back to the dinosaurs!
Ve haff a nice young man who would a fine Kaiser be (Georg Friedrich von Hohenzollern).
If you want to give Prussia back to it’s owners you’ll have to search for us a bit north of the Memel/Namunas River. You see at about the same time robed barbarian raiders were sweeping the Levant of their original christian peoples, slaughtering them, and replacing them with what are now called palestinians my land Prussia was also attacked. Our attackers were barbarians with strange sounding names that often included phrases like Von and who preferred to dress in leiderhose, wear decorative loops of glass over an eye, toothbrush mustaches, and sometimes strange black head gear with spear tips. They too slaughtered the original inhabitants (the Prussians). You know genocide wasn’t invented by just the third reich, the Germans, Arabs, and Turks were very proficient in this endevor from ancient times and as recent events show are still well versed in this art.
I demand that Prussia be returned to us inhabitants.
PLA
(Prussian Liberation Army)
A very good article, albeit some may not recognize its sarcasm. Now, something serious. As an American Pole born in Prussia (there was a huge tribe of us over there, speaking only Polish) I give the old Prussians credit for their honor and basic civility. In September 1939 my Mother and me were facing a firing squad of young, educated Germans. Fortunately, the execution of the people of the village of Swiekatowo in Poland was stopped by an old, Prussian colonel, who also cried and apologized to all still living for this crime. God bless the man and the Old Prussia.
Dixie?
Dixie goes back to the Cherokee, Choctaw, Chickasaw, Seminole, etc and everyone else goes back to the UK and Africa.
Yeah, let’s give it back to the ‘civilized’ tribes, they’ed never screw over their former slaves. Most of whom have more blood quantum than those who were not freedmen. So what if some of the freedmen can speak the language and have preserved the culture for 160 years? Got to get more casino money, right?
Hapburgs Rule! Hohenzollerns Drool!
Fredrick the Great owned Hapsburg armies over and over. Berlin > Vienna.
Hapsburgs were better lovers.
The comments here were as entertaining as the article, kudos to all.
For the record the article and most of the comments made more sense than pretending that there is a country called palestine or a people called palestinians.
Back in the day, I used to visit Munich a couple of times a year on business. The Bavarians referred to non-Bavarians (other than Swabians) as “prussians”. It was not a compliment…..
Geez, of course we should give back Prussia to Germany-Silesia too! All the Communist did was to kill over 3 million Germans to run ‘em out of their tradition land. While we’re at it, let’s move Poland back to their 1938 borders as well as Finland. After all, all the Ruskies do is enslave people & screw countries up after they eat ‘em. Just look at Kalingrad (Koenigsburg) now. After the Ruskies leveled it, it has become one of the ugliest cities in the world. Poor too. Besides, we do need some good Prussian Generals now. They would be the only generals in all of europe w/ a pair of cajones!
The former Kingdom of Prussia, before 1870, was made up of several small provinces across germany, in addition to the main states of Brandenburg and ast Prussia. They were not contingent.
Therefore someone came up with the saying: “Prussia is a state of mind.”
Thus it is not surprising that the majority of officers active in the resistance against Hitler came from the old Prussian nobility. I’d rather have them on my side than the fabled Prussian generals.
Look up Henning von Tresckow, here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henning_von_Tresckow
Superb! The great man would be proud of you.
Yep! Those Prussians came up with the Prussian Educational System that got a hold of the children early and brainwashed them to worship military costumes,and flags.
(All’s quiet on the Western Front)
That idea sounded pretty good,but nnow that it has run it’s course you see the end result.
Really really stupid people that follow orders and wear fancy costumes!
The Underground History Of Education
http://www.johntaylorgatto.com/underground/index.htm
Perhaps the Prussians should take a page from the American Indians…
Psst… Casinos.
One surprising omission in this amusing piece:
Poland only annexed the southern part of Prussia. The northern half, including the capital of Konigsberg, was annexed by the USSR, and attached to Russia, which still holds it as an exclave.
Free Elsass & Lothringen
These formerly free nations were enslaved by the French in the 1600s & 1700s and have been under the Froggish heel ever since, except for a brief period from 1871 – 1918 when Prussia liberated them.