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A Modest Proposal for the Reestablishment of the Prussian State

The famous author advocates for the right of return for a put upon, oppressed peoples: the Prussians

by
Jonathan Swift

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September 15, 2011 - 12:00 am
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It is melancholy to contemplate the homeless condition of the Prussians, an ingenious people whose remarkable antics in prior ages did so much to enliven the politics of Europe. Indeed, now that world opinion has grasped the necessity of returning the descendants of the Arabs of Palestine to their ancestral residences, it must certainly be the hour for a similar service to be rendered on behalf of those belonging to the tribe of the great Frederick.

For while it has been some time since that glorious state known as Prussia graced the map of our fair continent, still the lands of the Prussians were theirs and theirs alone, until that fateful day not yet seven decades past, when the awful Poles, seeking to reestablish a country for which the world had no apparent need, rudely cast them out.

Thus exiled, at barely the same moment as their Arabesque counterparts, the poor Prussians have ever since been forced to endure life stateless, wandering amongst such diverse foreign peoples as Saxons, Westphalians, Rhinelanders, Bavarians, and, even in some cases, Americans, people with whom they have nothing whatsoever in common, and whose company they must certainly find nearly beyond endurance as they continue to pine away, yearning in eternal agony for their lost homeland.

Oh, the pity of it all! Does not Justice herself cry out in anguish, denouncing the continuance of such hideous circumstance? Surely all men of reason and good will must give their whole-hearted assent to the proposition calling for the rightful return of the Prussians and their reestablishment upon their native land in their natural state. But how can such a noble and necessary project be accomplished?

Here is my plan. Let the nations of the world send out their constables to seek out and gather up the Prussians, their sons and daughters, grandsons and granddaughters, wherever they may be, so that they may be returned to their true country. To this, the Poles may object, but no matter, as land can certainly be found bordering upon the area of Polish occupation, upon which camps of many tents may be erected, capable of housing the Prussians in all their myriads, until the day of their deliverance arrives.

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