The emNew York Times /emhad a href=”http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/29/weekinreview/29word.html?ei=5088en=307a296e18cfbc28ex=1343361600adxnnl=1partner=rssnytemc=rssadxnnlx=1185821969-Zl/vyahUVbtOI1TIl5U1Ig”an article the other day /aon Albert Ellis entitled “Sex, Love and the Scolding Psychotherapist” (Hat Tip: a href=”http://soccerdad.baltiblogs.com/”Soccer Dad/a). The article had some poignant excepts from Ellis’s previous books that caught my eye. From a href=”http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0007F9BVW?ie=UTF8tag=wwwviolentkicomlinkCode=as2camp=1789creative=9325creativeASIN=B0007F9BVW”The Art and Science of Love:/aimg src=”http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=wwwviolentkicoml=as2o=1a=B0007F9BVW” width=”1″ height=”1″ border=”0″ alt=”" style=”border:none !important; margin:0px !important;” / br /br /blockquoteWhere one mate has strong prejudices in favor or against certain sex practices, the other partner should try to be unusually understanding and uncritical, even if the practices that are favored or disfavored seem to be outlandish. If the presumably more reasonable mate will at least give the “outlandish” procedures an honest try, he or she may find that they are really not as bad as they seem to be./blockquote br /br /br /From a href=”http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1886230188?ie=UTF8tag=wwwviolentkicomlinkCode=as2camp=1789creative=9325creativeASIN=1886230188″How to Make Yourself Happy and Remarkably Less Disturbable:/aimg src=”http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=wwwviolentkicoml=as2o=1a=1886230188″ width=”1″ height=”1″ border=”0″ alt=”" style=”border:none !important; margin:0px !important;” /br /br /blockquoteIf you are still very upset about being abused as a child, you are now, probably, irrationally thinking, “My early abuse absolutely should not have occurred!” “Such unfairness is awful and I can’t stand even thinking about it now!” “The people who abused me are completely rotten! I’m going to spend the rest of my life hating them and getting even with them, if it’s the last thing I do!”… These Irrational Beliefs will keep your original upsetness vividly alive — instead of letting it die a natural death, as disturbance gradually does if you don’t dwell on it and reinforce it by continual crooked thinking. /blockquotebr /br /You can read more except’s a href=”http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/29/weekinreview/29word.html?ei=5088en=307a296e18cfbc28ex=1343361600adxnnl=1partner=rssnytemc=rssadxnnlx=1185821969-Zl/vyahUVbtOI1TIl5U1Ig”on Ellis’s work here./a
My a href=”http://www.pjmedia.com/2007/07/ask_dr_helen_doing_unto_others.php”column is up at PJM:/abr /br /blockquoteIs everyone motivated by some sort of self-interest when they engage in an altruistic act? Does that mean no charity or volunteerism is truly noble? PJM advice columnist Dr. Helen Smith offers her opinion. (Hmmm, why is she offering it?) /blockquotebr /br /Also, find out why some women are a href=”http://www.pjmedia.com/2007/07/ask_dr_helen_doing_unto_others.php”into serial sperm donors and more./a
Is everyone motivated by some sort of self-interest when they engage in an altruistic act? Does that mean no charity or volunteerism is truly noble? PJM advice columnist Dr. Helen Smith offers her opinion. (Hmmm, why is she offering it?)
It's no secret that Saudi Arabia is encouraging and financing Sunni terror against Shiite targets in Iraq, undermining everything that the U.S. is trying to acheive there. So why, asks PJM Mideast analyst Meir Javedanfar, is the U.S. rewarding them with $20 billion worth of advanced weaponry?
Is the Internet the enemy of free speech? After hearing the likes of Kos and HuffPost support the campaign to encourage companies to pull advertising on Fox News, PJM's CEO Roger L. Simon wonders why pioneers of the political Internet are working so assiduously to cut off their own lifeline -- advertisers who are willing to sponsor contentious and opinionated media.
Several readersa href=”http://www.newhouse.com/bottom-slapping-case-stirs-outrage-3.html” sent me this story/a of two thirteen year old boys who were charged with a felony for slapping girls’ rear ends at a middle school:br /br /blockquoteTwo 13-year-olds facing sex abuse charges for slapping the bottoms of girls in a school hallway probably won’t do jail time or be required to register as sex offenders, according to Yamhill County, Ore., District Attorney Bradley Berry.br /br /br /”From our perspective and the perspective of the victims, this was not just horseplay,” Berry said. “People may disagree, and I understand that.”br /br /But based on his experience in similar cases, he says it’s unlikely the boys, if convicted, would be sentenced for the maximum jail time.br /br /Each count carries a maximum one-year sentence. Lawyers for the boys say they also would face mandatory registration as sex offenders./blockquotebr /br /I saw one of the boys talking on span style=”font-style:italic;”Fox News/span last night about his experience and how he understood that what he did was wrong. There was also mention in a href=”http://www.newhouse.com/bottom-slapping-case-stirs-outrage-3.html”this news story/a that girls were also participating in hitting the other student’s rears, but apparently girls can only be represented as victims and never as perpetrator’s of harassment. br /br /Not that I am saying they should be. Middle schoolers hitting people’s rears and engaging in other juvenile antics is as common as well, middle schoolers, and to criminalize juvenile behavior to the extent that a 13 year old boy is sitting in juvenile detention for five days for common (albeit stupid and offensive) behavior is in itself, criminal.br /br /Update: Mark Steyn has a href=”http://www.ocregister.com/opinion/butt-one-mashburn-1789340-counts-cornelison”more on this case/a (Hat Tip: Fred Ray).br /br /Update II: Not related to the above post, but you can check out my column at PJM on why women hook up with a href=”http://www.pjmedia.com/2007/07/ask_dr_helen_doing_unto_others.php”serial sperm donors and altruism here./a
The displacement of the once fabled Democratic Leadership Council by a seemingly rag-tag group of angry bloggers is big story this week, with every Democratic candidate choosing to snub the DLC confab for the YearlyKos convention, reports PJM's William Bradley. On the Republican side, it seems the Fredheads are going to have to cool their heels till September for a Thompson announcement.
Over 130,000 votes have been cast in the weekly PAJAMAS MEDIA PRESIDENTIAL STRAW POLL. The twenty-seventh week has officially begun. DON'T FORGET: You can put the poll on your website or blog with our free voting widget and become a precinct in the PJ Media Straw Poll. Learn how the readers of your site are voting and compare it the the total.
Long before the antics of Lindsay Lohan and 24-hour CNN and Fox News, there were drunken stars and frantic coverage of absurd stories. David Freeman points out in his Notebook this week that outrageous antics by actors and journalists are old hat in Hollywood, as he reviews a new British novel, and a special edition of a classic Billy Wilder flick that has just been released on DVD.
It was the young wizard's biggest challenge yet: understanding why those who should be defending their civilization were pretending that nothing was happening or even becoming apologists for the other side. Barry Rubin tells the tale that began with a headline in the Daily Prophet newspaper: "Minister Fudge Urges Engagement; Accuses Harry Potter of Voldemortphobia"
Do you ever wonder if internet feuds ever turn into reality? The answer is rarely–most people may shoot off their mouth over the internet but rarely does it turn deadly. But in the case of a Navy guy a href=”http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19980505/?GT1=10150″who couldn’t stand being called a nerd,/a revenge seemed to be the only answer:br /br /blockquoteELM MOTT, Texas – A Navy man who got mad when someone mocked him as a “nerd” over the Internet climbed into his car and drove 1,300 miles from Virginia to Texas to teach the other guy a lesson.br /br /As he made his way toward Texas, Fire Controlman 2nd Class Petty Officer Russell Tavares posted photos online showing the welcome signs at several states’ borders, as if to prove to his Internet friends that he meant business.br /br /When he finally arrived, Tavares burned the guy’s trailer down./blockquotebr /br /Tavares was given seven years in prison for his anger management problem. So what’s the lesson here? No internet squabble is worth getting so upset over that you would give up seven years of your life to seek a few moments of revenge. Keep your cool on the internet–it may be a matter of life or death.
The solution to the anagram "Bulky Pert Rust" is which of the following: (A) The author of this column. (B) Joined a club in a futile attempt to make a girl happy. (C) Got dumped by said girl for passing the entrance test. (D) Couldn't get a date with any of the other members. (E) All of the above. [Download Bulky's reading of this column in MP3.]
One of the hottest stories in the blogosphere in recent weeks is the apparent reluctance of leading Republican presidential candidates to appear in a YouTube sponsored debate in September. As of now frontrunner Rudy Giuliani may be "bypassing" the event and Mitt Romney has cast aspersions on having to answer questions from a "snowman." PJM columnist Rick Moran has been on the phone polling the campaigns today on this developing story.
Many readers email me to get suggestions on how to find a therapist. a href=”http://www.counselingseattle.com/”Counseling Seattle.com /a has some good suggestions on how to find a therapist.a href=”http://www.counselingseattle.com/consumer/1.htm” You can read their tips here /aor see my post on a href=”http://drhelen.blogspot.com/2005/12/how-to-tell-if-your-therapist-sucks.html”"How to Tell if Your Therapist Sucks like a Bilge Pump.” /a
The CNN YouTube debate and the barbs traded between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama on foreign policy are, not surprisingly, the opening topic in this week’s show with David Corn and Richard Miniter. But that’s not all, and they’ve got a surprise guest! [MP3 audio-only version available HERE]
In a dramatic first appearance on the world diplomatic stage, newly elected French president Nicolas Sarkozy brokered a complex deal with Libya's Muammar Ghaddafi: a measure of international respectability for the release of the Bulgarian nurses and Palestinian doctor, who spent the past eight years in a Libyan prison and were sentenced to death on trumped-up charges of deliberately infecting children with AIDS. PJM's Nidra Poller sorts through the domestic criticism of the move.
Update:Haneef leaves. The Australian Immigration Minister may release classified information he used to revoke visa. PJM Sydney editor Richard Fernandez reports.
When the leading Democratic candidates take the opportunity to snipe at each other about experience and wisdom versus youth and enthusiasm in the press, Rick Moran sees one of the primary choices facing voters next year. Do we want to continue on our course into the future, perhaps lead by youth; or return to the comfortable normalcy of our traditional isolation, and forget the big bad world beyond the oceans?
That's today's buzz, after some of the candidates - like Mitt Romney- seem to think that being questioned by the likes of "Snowman" and his ilk doesn't look too presidential. Naturally, bloggers had a lot to say... "Wouldn't it be a breath of fresh air to see a Republican candidate take command, show some intestinal fortitude, and kick some MSM/left-wing assets?" (Michelle Malkin) More after the jump...
David Harsanyi, the author of a href=”http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0767924320?ie=UTF8tag=wwwviolentkicomlinkCode=as2camp=1789creative=9325creativeASIN=0767924320″Nanny State,/aimg src=”http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=wwwviolentkicoml=as2o=1a=0767924320″ width=”1″ height=”1″ border=”0″ alt=”" style=”border:none !important; margin:0px !important;” / is miffed that the left-leaning span style=”font-style:italic;”Publisher’s Weekly/span a href=”http://davidharsanyi.com/blog/2007/07/26/bias-at-publishers-weekly/”gave his book a rather negative/a review: br /br /blockquoteNanny State recently received a short review from the trade publication Publishers Weekly. It was unfriendly. I came away with the feeling that the reviewer hadn’t actually read the book. (I won’t bore you with the specifics.) But then again, who knows, perhaps the review was deserved.br /br /As this is my first book, though, I decided to investigate other Publisher Weekly reviews on Amazon.com. Did a negative review effect sales? Did the reviewer typically betray a ideological position as this one had? This curiosity led to non-scientific stroll around Amazon.com and a discovery. One that Tammy Bruce had already noted. I work in mainstream media. Though I’m not someone who buys into the widespread liberal media meme, the one-sidedness of the PW reviews was inescapable. After all, a provocative or combative political book can be well written and worth reading even if you disagree with the central thesis. I’ve reviewed books for almost a decade. I know this can happen./blockquotebr /br /I wrote about the bias of span style=”font-style:italic;”Publisher’s Weekly/span a href=”http://drhelen.blogspot.com/2007/01/more-scarlet-r.html”in a post here, /aafter finding the same negative reviews of conservative books and positive ones of liberal books. a href=”http://tammybruce.com/2005/11/a_day_at_the_reviews_or_the_mo.php”Tammy Bruce states/a that “conservative authors agree, you know you’ve done a good job when you’ve made span style=”font-style:italic;”Publisher’s Weekl/spany collective head explode. … if PW is foaming at the mouth about a book, and uses the words “screed,” “strident,” or “unfortunately,” (in an effort to appear thoughtful), I consider it a must-read and put it immediately on my list of books to get.” So Mr. Harsanyi, congratulations, maybe that unfriendly review was just a hint that your book will be a real success.
Flip the dolphin, representing the aquatic-mammal-protest community in Iowa, was sighted trailing the Romney campaign to several events. Richard Miniter caught up to him and took the opportunity to get Flip’s perspective on the campaign, life, and standing in parking lots.
In an exclusive video interview, Republican presidential candidate Tommy Thompson tells PJM Editor Richard Miniter why he’ll be “shocked” if he doesn’t win next month’s Iowa straw poll. On Iraq, Thompson says oil revenues should be split so that “every man, woman, and child” can get a check. He also recommends dividing the country into 18 regions to defuse the inter-factional civil war. (Miniter comments on his blog here.)
PJM sports columnist Rick Moran, saddened but not surprised by the unfolding NBA scandal, contemplates the amount of damage referee Tim Donaghy's gambling will do to the integrity of basketball. It all depends on the answer to the question on everyone's lips -- was he the only ref involved or is he the tip of the iceberg - with other "crooked zebras" roaming the jungle of professional sports?
For most of us, a pie is just a pie. But for baking aficionados, creating the ultimate flaky yet fruity concoction is a sacred mission and pastry expert Shuna Fish Lydon is the Dalai Lama. At a pie crust seminar, PJM's food writer Nancy Rommelman gobbled up her pearls (crumbs?) of wisdom.
I was at work all day and just saw the news at a href=”http://instapundit.com/archives2/007543.php”Instapundit/a and a href=”http://althouse.blogspot.com/2007/07/neurosis-is-just-high-class-word-for.html”Ann Althouse’s blog/a that a href=”http://www.albertellis.org/albert_ellis_notice.html”Albert Ellis has died./a I have followed Ellis’s work since I was in grad school in New York and he gave free Friday night seminars to students and others on his a href=”http://www.albertellis.org/albert_ellis_notice.html”rational emotive behavior therapy techniques:/abr /br /blockquoteAs a practicing psychoanalyst from 1947 to 1953, Dr. Ellis grew increasingly doubtful about the efficacy of that form of psychotherapy, concerned that no amount of talk would help his clients if they failed to take action against their habitual thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. By late 1953, he had stopped calling himself a psychoanalyst and begun developing Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), an action-oriented therapy aimed at making emotional and behavioral change through challenging self-defeating thoughts. br /br /REBT is today widely acclaimed as a pioneering approach to psychotherapy and the foundation of all modern cognitive behavior therapies. In 2003, the American Psychological Association named Dr. Ellis the second most influential psychologist of the 20th century, second only to Carl Rogers. In 2005, Dr. Ellis’s 78th book, a href=”http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1591023548?ie=UTF8tag=wwwviolentkicomlinkCode=as2camp=1789creative=9325creativeASIN=1591023548″The Myth of Self-esteem,/aimg src=”http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=wwwviolentkicoml=as2o=1a=1591023548″ width=”1″ height=”1″ border=”0″ alt=”" style=”border:none !important; margin:0px !important;” / was published. /blockquotebr /br /My favorite Ellis book is a href=”http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0806527382?ie=UTF8tag=wwwviolentkicomlinkCode=as2camp=1789creative=9325creativeASIN=0806527382″How to Stubbornly Refuse to Make Yourself Miserable about Anything: Yes Anything!/aimg src=”http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=wwwviolentkicoml=as2o=1a=0806527382″ width=”1″ height=”1″ border=”0″ alt=”" style=”border:none !important; margin:0px !important;” / The main theme of the book is that “No matter how badly you act, no matter how unfairly others treat you, no matter how crummy are the conditions you live under–you virtually alway (yes, A-L-W-A-Y-S) have the ability and the power to change your intense feelings of anxiety, despair, and hostility. Not only can you decrease them, you can practically annihilate and remove them.” His book goes on to explain his methods for doing so. br /br /Does it always work? No, but I have used his methods in my work at times and have found it moderately successful with certain individuals. What I admired most about Ellis is not the fact that he wrote 78 books, but that he was rejected many times in his life and did not a href=”http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/25/nyregion/25ellis.html?pagewanted=2en=0911654eac86e8dbex=1343102400partner=permalinkexprod=permalinkamp;amp;amp;ei=5124″let it cripple him in any way:/a br /br /blockquote“I was hated by practically all psychologists and psychiatrists,” he recalled. They thought his approach was “superficial and stupid,” he said, and “they resented that I said therapy doesn’t have to take years.”br /br /In 2005, Dr. Ellis sued the institute after it removed him from its board and canceled his Friday seminars. He and his supporters claimed that the institute had fallen into the hands of psychologists who were moving it away from his revolutionary therapy techniques./blockquotebr /br /In a recent short interview in span style=”font-style:italic;”Psychology Today,/span Ellis talks about self confidence, having a happy existence and learning to accept rejection no matter what and he encourages people to “keep moving, moving, moving and to try scary things and not to give a s**t when they are rejected.” He practiced what he preached and was an authentic individual. br /br /He will be sorely missed.