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How to Make Yourself Happy and Less Disturbable

Monday, March 12th, 2007

I was talking with a href=”http://althouse.blogspot.com/2007/03/its-me-and-glenn-reynolds.html”Ann Althouse /aon a href=”http://bloggingheads.tv/video.php?id=219cid=1127″Bloggingheads.tv /a about learning to accept rejection as part of life, which is good advice for bloggers! I learned about this “accept rejection” philosophy early in my career from one of psychology’s wise gurus, Albert Ellis, the founder of a href=”http://www.rebt.org/”Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy/a. In a recent short interview in emPsychology Today/em, Ellis talks about self confidence, having a happy existence and learning to accept rejection no matter what. And he should know as his a href=”http://drhelen.blogspot.com/2005/10/for-some-psychologists-being-different.html”own institute tried to oust him/a. Ellis encourages people to “keep moving, moving, moving and to try scary things and not to give a s**t when they are rejected.” He a href=”http://psychologytoday.com/articles/index.php?term=pto-20070227-000002page=4″practices what he preaches /aas he developed the “shame-attacking exercise” when he was 19 years old:br /br /blockquoteLegendary psychologist Albert Ellis pioneered the “shame-attacking exercise” in 1933 at age 19, when he decided to approach every woman who sat down alone on a bench at the New York Botanical Garden. “Thirty walked away immediately,” he told the New York Times. “I talked with the other 100, for the first time in my life, no matter how anxious I was. Nobody vomited and ran away. Nobody called the cops.”br /br /And Ellis learned he wouldn’t die from rejection. Of the first 130 women he went up to, he got only one date, he said, but “with the second 100, I got good and made a few dates”—and, eventually, got to be “one of the best picker-uppers of women in the United States.”/blockquotebr /br /Okay, so this emwas/em 1933, who knows what would happen today–just imagine if one of the ballbusters from Pandagon or Feministing sat down on that bench, but that’s beside the point. The point is, learn to not only accept rejection, but to welcome it, it seems that it is the only way to overcome the irrational belief that the world owes you. It doesn’t. Of course, one should fight injustice, but the irrational belief that the world should be nice to you just because you are you is a sure way to end up disappointed about life. br /br /If you would like to try some of Ellis’s techniques to reduce anxiety and gain a sense of mastery over your social reactions, try reading a href=”http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1886230188?ie=UTF8tag=wwwviolentkicomlinkCode=as2camp=1789creative=9325creativeASIN=1886230188″ememHow to Make Yourself Happy and Remarkably Less Disturbable/em./em/aimg src=”http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=wwwviolentkicoml=as2o=1a=1886230188″ width=”1″ height=”1″ border=”0″ alt=”" style=”border:none !important; margin:0px !important;” / At 93, his advice is still ahead of its time.br /br /strongUpdate/strong: Professor Althouse a href=”http://althouse.blogspot.com/2007/03/whats-right-skin-thickness.html”responds to this post /aand makes a common mistake in thinking that taken to the extreme, emnot/em caring about rejection from others could lead one to be a sociopath. Quite the contrary, a sociopath often cares emdeeply/em about what others think about him or her and feels angry if others do not think they are “special” and entitled to greatness. In fact, one of the ways to spot a sociopath in projective testing is by emexcessive/em empathy with others; sociopaths are generally very in tune with what people think and feel–they have to be in order to manipulate them. “If you cannot understand and think like your opponent, how can you put one over on them?” thinks the sociopath. It is all superficial, of course. br /br /Think of the psychopathic and narcissistic traits of a Bill Clinton type–he was very sensitive to what people thought of him–almost to a fault in that he wanted to be loved and admired by everyone, yet lied to the American public about his affair with Lewinsky, and used friends to lie on his behalf. The healthy ability to accept rejection in day to day life that Ellis is referring to has little in common with the sociopathic personality, but rather, is the ability to accept (not like) life’s hardships and other people’s imperfections and leads to greater perseverance, patience, and the ability to get along with others. These traits are exactly the opposite of those displayed by a sociopath.

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Weather or Nut

Monday, March 12th, 2007 - by Catherine Seipp


aweathernut.jpg Wherein those from The Weather Channel channel the weather -- "Jennifer actually played a tornado in her elementary school's production of The Wizard of Oz and she's still traumatized by that." By Catherine Seipp, PJM Media Editor

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Presidential Straw Poll 2008 – Week 8

Sunday, March 11th, 2007

The eighth week of the PAJAMAS MEDIA PRESIDENTIAL STRAW POLL has officially begun. Bill Richardson and Rudy Giuliani were again winners in the seventh week with over 70,000 votes now cast. Barack Obama and Newt Gingrich (undeclared) were runners-up on the Democratic and Republican sides respectively. A REMINDER to all blogs and websites: We now offer a voting widget for your site. Over 275 blogs and websites have already registered as precincts (polling places) in the Straw Poll with this widget! By placing the widget on your blog or website, your site can become one of these precincts or polling places just as in an official election. Readers will be able to vote weekly through your site and compare the voting results from that site to the total and to other individual sites. We hope that websites allied with all parts of the political spectrum will participate in this exercise in online democracy. The more who join with us, the more statistically reliable the poll is likely to be. The widget (with tech support) is available for easy installation here. Just follow the instructions at the link.

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Get Your Third World Right Here!

Sunday, March 11th, 2007 - by Jules Crittenden


aslums.jpgOn that most exotic of all exotic global destinations, America, "the nation that never stops giving." By Jules Crittenden

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Rosett Rejects WSJ Report

Sunday, March 11th, 2007

“Just how deaf has the Washington press corps become? Princeton’s world famous scholar of Islam, Bernard Lewis, gave a landmark speech Wednesday at the American Enterprise Institute’s annual dinner. Warning that the 14-century-long struggle between Christianity and Islam is entering a new phase…. Lewis urged us to have a little sense of proportion, and went on to say – and it was an illuminating line – ‘The crusade was a late, limited and unsuccessful imitation of the jihad.’

“But that’s not how Wall Street Journal reporter Neil King Jr. described it. On the Journal’s Washington Wire blog site, under the absurdly misleading headline ‘Bernard Lewis Applauds the Crusades,’ King misquoted Lewis as having described the crusades as ‘a late, limited and successful imitation of the jihad.’ ”

Read the rest on Claudia Rosett’s PajamasXpress blog (Rosett herself is a longtime contributor to the WSJ).

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Lunch Blogging

Saturday, March 10th, 2007

I just got back from lunch with a href=”http://www.thebitchgirls.us/?p=6535″Bitter Bitch /afrom The Bitch Girls who was driving through Knoxville with her lovely a href=”http://www.snowflakesinhell.com/?p=315″boyfriend/a on their way to a vacation of camping and shooting in Texas. a href=”http://www.saysuncle.com/”SayUncle/a joined us and we all compared notes on what it was like to meet bloggers in person–some are nicer than they seem online, some are exactly like their online persona and others are downright mean. I must say, that at this lunch, all of the guests were warm, charming and friendly. Both Bitter and SayUncle blog anonymously so no pictures are forthcoming, sorry. Anyone else out there ever met any bloggers in the flesh and if so, what was your impression–same as their online persona or different?

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Blogging Heads TV

Saturday, March 10th, 2007

Glenn joins Ann Althouse ona href=”http://bloggingheads.tv/video.php?id=219″ Blogging Heads.TV /ato talk about ethnicity in law school, political polarization and the perils of videotaping reality. I came on for a couple of segments to a href=”http://bloggingheads.tv/video.php?id=219cid=1127″discuss fighting “feminists/a,” t-shirt modeling and reality TV. If you haven’t watched Blogging Heads TV before, a href=”http://bloggingheads.tv/video.php?id=219″go take a look/a, it’s a good show.

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Hanson: Scooter Libby by the Numbers

Friday, March 9th, 2007

PajamasXpress author Victor Davis Hanson runs down the beginning, middle, and — so far — the end of the Libby/Plame fiasco: ” the most powerful people in government are not judges, not juries, not even legislators or executives-but state and federal attorneys, who act as judge and jury of sorts in selecting whom to prosecute.” Read all of Hanson HERE.

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FILM: THE GREAT GLOBAL WARMING SWINDLE

Friday, March 9th, 2007


Lady_of_Shalott.jpg The Lady of Shalott - The Medieval Warm Period It may not win next year's Best Documentary Oscar, but the British doc "The Great Global Warming Swindle" created quite a stir when it was aired Thursday on the UK's Channel Four. Richard North - co-editor of EU Referendum - was watching and has this review for PJ Media. Five excerpts from the documentary are appended.

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[Paris Blues] Nicolas Sarkozy in Three Dimensions

Thursday, March 8th, 2007 - by Nidra Poller, PJM Editor, Paris


aasarkozky.jpg A man with a plan.... and ahead in the French polls for president. by Nidra Poller, PJ Media Editor, Paris - 8 March 2007

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Profiles in Courage – Back Stage at the Secular Islam Summit [video]

Thursday, March 8th, 2007

The first Secular Islam Summit – a ground-breaking event bringing together some of the most courageous people on earth, Muslims who publicly seek to reform their religion – took place last weekend in St. Petersburg, Fla. Producer Andrew Marcus caught several of the key participants – Walid Phares, Ibn Warraq, Irshad Manji, Nonie Darwish, Tawfik Hamid, Wafa Sultan and event organizer Michael Ledeen – in exclusive interviews for PJ Media.

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The "Harmless" Habit that Turns Men off to You

Thursday, March 8th, 2007

What is this harmless habit that ema href=”http://www.cosmopolitan.com/”Cosmo/a/em magazine is dishing about this month? Male bashing. Imagine my surprise when I saw that a cover story inem Cosmo /emwas very much pro-male. The tagline reads “Verbally bashing the male species is now a reflex for a lot of chicks. Problem is, the real thing getting emtrashed/em could be your relationship.” Okay, so they phrase the problem with male bashing as one that is detrimental to females, but hey, at least there is a realization that it is wrong. The article has several good sections in it entitled, “How We Beat Up on Boys,” “Why it Weakens Love,” “Break your Bashing Habit,” and “Start Male Boasting.” br /br /The advice is good and direct, such as telling women to stop telling their dates they are not like the jerks they usually date. “You’re actually broadcasting for the most part, you think dudes suck.” To break the habit, the author suggests when your girlfriends start guy trashing, you change the subject. Or, “if a girlfriend says that guys never commit, ger her to see how silly it is to make such broad statements by making one about women, like, ‘I know, and women start shopping for a wedding dress after the third date.’” emCosmo/em gives suggestions (but should you really need this advice after the age of 12?) that women should ditch lines like “Men are dogs” or “Unless its football, it’s too complicated for his brain.” These tips should be a given, of course, especially given the propensity for the PC police to round up certain people and a href=”http://celebritymound.com/?p=3716″head them to the rehab center /afor similar sexist comments, but at least it’s a step in the right direction. br /br /And already, a href=”http://earthsignmamawrites.blogspot.com/2007/03/nasty-habit-that-turns-off-men.html”the word is spreading./a

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The Glenn and Helen Show: Duncan Hunter on Why He Wants to Be President

Thursday, March 8th, 2007


duncanhunter.jpg
Glenn Reynolds and Helen Smith talk to Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-CA) about why he wants to be President. They caught up with Rep. Hunter as he was getting ready to go to Iraq, and talked with him about the war, gun control, stem cell research and cloning, and much more. Plus, what his son learned serving in Fallujah. This podcast is brought to you by Volvo USA. Listen or download at the "More..." link.

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Interviewing Duncan Hunter

Thursday, March 8th, 2007

This week, we’re continuing our series of presidential candidate interviews, by having a conversation with Congressman Duncan Hunter who is running as a social conservative in the 2008 election. We caught up with him in D.C. where he is preparing to go to Iraq tomorrow morning and he graciously agreed to talk with us about his a href=”http://www.gohunter08.com/index.asp”campaign’s “Core Principles” /aas well as his views on other issues. We talk about gun control, cloning, his opposition to “hate crime” laws and the war on terror among other things.br /br /img alt=”duncanOfficial1.jpg” src=”http://instapundit.com/archives2/images/duncanOfficial1.jpg” align=right width=”130″ height=”97″ /br /You can listen directly — no download needed — by a href=”http://politicscentral.com/2007/03/07/the_glenn_and_helen_show_dunca.php”going here,/a or you can download the entire file by a href=”http://richmedia.pjmedia.com/audio/politicscentral/glenn_helen_show/20070308-Hunter.mp3″clicking right here./a A lo-fi version suitable for dialup is available by a href=”http://politicscentral.com/2007/03/07/the_glenn_and_helen_show_dunca.php”going here/a and selecting lo-fi. And, of course, you can a href=”http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=116559643s=143441″subscribe for free via iTunes, /aand you should!br /br /This podcast is sponsored by Volvo automobiles at a href=”http://www.volvocars.us/”Volvocars.us./a

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Thursday, March 8th, 2007

Neo-Neocon has a href=”http://neoneocon.com/2007/03/ive-got-podcast-studio-envy.html”podcast studio envy/a–go by and say hi to her a href=”http://neoneocon.com/2007/03/welcome.html”in her new home/a.

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War of Shadows

Thursday, March 8th, 2007 - by Richard Fernandez


athai.jpg Who is Thailand fighting in Thailand? Is it a Muslim jihad or an insurgency? Either way it has cost more than between 1,200 and 2,000 people their lives and shows every sign of becoming more violent. by Richard Fernandez, PJM editor in Sydney

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Baghdad Dispatch: Back To Politics as Usual

Wednesday, March 7th, 2007


iraqparliament.jpg
"The political scene in Iraq these days is registering a level of activity like we haven't seen since right after the elections, when the blocs squabbled over who got to be the new premier. Political alliances are being redrawn right now -and three developments are shaping the change and dominating local news headlines at stories of violence's expense." PJM Baghdad editor Omar Fadhil reports.

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Blog Week in Review: The Horse Race

Wednesday, March 7th, 2007

race.jpgThe world's longest horse race is underway for the American Presidency. On Blog Week to discuss it are Glenn Reynolds, and author and screenwriter Katy Wright of American Thinker. Glenn and Katy disagree on whether the unusual length of the campaign season represents an important political fight or an exhausting and wasteful marathon for voters and candidates The panel also tackles the plight of imprisoned Egyptian blogger Abdel Kareem Soleman and what his case means for the future of free speech and the internet in the Middle East. Austin Bay hosts and asks the questions. Ed Driscoll produces. Brought to you by Volvo USA.

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Panic in Tehran

Wednesday, March 7th, 2007


ahmadinejad1_2.jpg
The disappearance and possible defection of former Iranian deputy defense minister Ali Reza Asgari has the Iranian government deeply worried -- and for good reason. Meir Javedanfar, an expert on Iran and co-author of an upcoming %%AMAZON=0786718870 book%% on Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, reports. UPDATE: A senior U.S. official has confirmed that Asgari left his country voluntarily and is cooperating with Western intelligence agencies, providing information on Hezbollah and Iran's ties to the organization. (Washington Post)

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Sanity Squad: Diagnose Me Baby

Tuesday, March 6th, 2007


brain.jpg One of just a handful of effective treatments for politics. Run of the mill narcissism just not cutting it anymore? The Sanity Squad diagnoses a plethora of new disorders for the politically conscious lunatics among us. From frankly-regressive acute utopian disorder, and clinical paranoia with or without conspiracy theory, to Kim Jong il-omania, culture related acute psychosis, and Carter martyrism. Let this week's podcast be your guide to the future of crazy.

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Rudy Rising: Giuliani on the campaign trail in California

Tuesday, March 6th, 2007 - by Austin Bay


arudy.jpg "We are not a country moving in the wrong direction or sliding down hill. The truth is we are the strongest country on earth." -- Rudy Giuliani, March 5 by Austin Bay, an exclusive report for PJM from inside last night's Giuliani reception at Ambassador and Mrs. Rockwell Schnabel's Brentwood estate.

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If You Want to be a Leader–Quit talking about your Freaking Grandkids!

Tuesday, March 6th, 2007

I saw a href=”http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17345308/”this article /aon MSN about men’s attitudes at work and how people are skeptical of female leaders. Naturally the article points out that women have the aptitude to be a leader but they are being held back because of their female status. Okay, maybe yes, maybe no. But the article points out that if Hillary Clinton wants to make it as president, she better take a look at their survey:br /br /blockquoteWhile Clinton hopes to smash through the ultimate glass ceiling to become the nation’s first female president, the Work Power Survey conducted by Elle and MSNBC.com suggests that stereotypes about sex and leadership are alive and well….br /br /One cannot live in a sexist society without absorbing some of those messages, which make women feel worse about themselves and suspicious of other women,” said Janet Lever, a professor of sociology at California State University in Los Angeles, who helped conceive the survey. “The enemy is omnipresent cultural messages, not women themselves.”br /br /There are long-established attributes that are assigned to men and women, says Madeline E. Heilman, an expert on workplace sex bias and professor of psychology at New York University. Women take care of others and nurture, while men are seen as taking charge and being assertive. The problem is, she says, when we map these attributes onto the workplace the male attributes are much more sought after.br /br /“I call this the lack of fit,” she explains, because the perceived attributes of women don’t fit the leadership mold. “When women succeed in areas they’re not supposed to they are disapproved of greatly, by everyone, men and women.”br /br /Kolb doesn’t think people’s negative attitudes about women have anything to do with their abilities. She points to many surveys that show women are on par with men when it comes to leadership attributes. Unfortunately, she adds, in most surveys, including ours, women are not seen as having the same leadership potential as men./blockquotebr /br /If you don’t want to be sterotyped in a traditional female role, then stop talking about yourself as being qualified for leadership positions embecause/em of your stereotypical female role! Newsflash: If you want to be taken seriously as a leader, then quit talking about how nurturing you are, how caring, a href=”http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/482085p-405638c.html”how we need a “mom/a” for president and a href=”http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/10/20/60minutes/main2111089_page3.shtml”your darn grandkids./a Seriously, does John McCain or any other presidential candidate run at the mouth about being a granddad, as if this is the main qualification he has for the job of politician? Of course not. Nancy Pelosi and Hillary Clinton would do well for all women leaders if they would talk about why they are qualified to carry out the duties of Speaker of the House or President. The world’s full of moms and grandmoms — and dads and granddads — who aren’t qualified for high office. To be a leader, you must talk like a leader, whether you are male or female.

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The St. Petersburg Declaration @ Secular Islam Summit

Tuesday, March 6th, 2007


Ibn Warraq reads a declaration by delegates to the Secular Islam Summit, the first international forum for secularists of Islamic societies that has ever happened.

The full text of the declaration and the list of endorsers is available here; you can also read Gateway Pundit’s liveblogging throughout the event.

[Video interviews with the conference participants coming soon from PJ Media]

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It’s Hard Out There for a Parent

Monday, March 5th, 2007

I checked out an a href=”http://babyonbored.blogspot.com/2007/01/one-with-green-shirt.html”interesting blog post /aby a woman named Stephanie Wilder-Taylor who is the author of a href=”http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1416915060?ie=UTF8tag=wwwviolentkicomlinkCode=as2camp=1789creative=9325creativeASIN=1416915060″emSippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay: And Other Things I Had to Learn as a New Mom./em/aimg src=”http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=wwwviolentkicoml=as2o=1a=1416915060″ width=”1″ height=”1″ border=”0″ alt=”" style=”border:none !important; margin:0px !important;”/The post was about her appearance on the emToday/em show to talk about moms who have cocktail playdates with other moms and their kids. Women are apparently up in arms about other women who dare (gasp!) to have a glass or two of wine with their friends. The cocktail-drinking women want to be with kids but they dare to have a good time as they do so. Apparently, for parents to have a lick of fun is an anomaly in our kid-centered society today. br /br /I watched the video a href=”http://video.msn.com/v/us/msnbc.htm?g=0a81cac1-52ad-4d34-84d3-5a4dfcea6d43f=00fg=email”which is here/a and found the judgemental attitude of the expert a bit much . The “expert” is described as a psychiatrist who is a professor at Columbia University affiliated Harlem hospital and has four children. She seems a bit preachy in her tone, especially in the video where she acts as if parents drink a glass of beer or wine in front of their kids is somehow modeling irresponsible behavior to the kids that will start them on a lifelong path to alcoholism. I remember my kid coming home once from a emDare /emprogram at school and telling me that the class was told by an officer that their parents should not be drinking around them at all, that this was setting an example that drinking was acceptable. It is? I don’t think so, unless you are a raging alcoholic and that is not what we are talking about here. br /br /The heroine in our story here, Ms. Wilder-Taylor points out in the show that it is about morality–that people are so judgemental about what parents can do, that parents, especially moms are stressed out. And the worst part? It is women doing it to other women. The breast feeding dilemma, working versus non-working mothers, now women can’t have wine with their kids around. Hell, my cardiologist told me to quit being such a tee-totaler and have a glass of wine with dinner for my heart! If a doctor is recommending it for health, what gives these busybodies like the uptight psychiatrist the right to be dissing women who dare to have a little fun and engage in grown-up activities, and that includes the grown-up activity of a glass or two of wine and a good time. Parenting in our society has become so stressful that people no longer want to have kids. My advice? Go back to the martinis and grown-up rituals of yesteryear, when adults acted like adults and kids were kids. With the build-up of the nanny state over the past decades, it seems we are all now being treated as children. But for adults it is even worse, all the responsiblity and none of the rights of being a grown-up. How utterly childish.

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Fair, Balanced and … Censored?

Monday, March 5th, 2007 - by Bill Bradley


hume.jpg "Right-wing mouthpiece" Brit Hume of Fox The Democrats are having a presidential debate in Reno, August 14th in preparation for their early Nevada primary. Fox News was supposed to be the cablecaster, but certain of our more "progressive" cousins on the Internet are up in arms, trying to block the involvement of the "right-wing mouthpiece." PajamasXpress blogger Bill Bradley of New West Notes investigated for PJ Media.

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