The emNew York Times /ema href=”http://www.nytimes.com/2006/04/30/weekinreview/30zernike.html?hpex=1146456000en=d6a79a4ea4f2c22bei=5094partner=homepage”has an article /atoday entitled, “The Bell Tolls for the Future Merry Widow”(Hat tip: a href=”http://www.swlip.com/2006/04/if_only_men_wou.html”swlip.com/a). In this pathetic excuse for an article, the theme appears to be that because men are living longer, this might put a cramp in women’s lifestyles. For example:br /br /blockquoteBy necessity, women have gotten used to a life lived for long periods without men. They have had the advantage in life expectancy since the late 19th century, when overall longevity started to climb. More than men, women have developed strong friendships to support them in their frailest hours. They have forced doctors to pay attention to their health concerns. They no longer have to cater to men. Travel companies now cater to their interests./blockquotebr /br /And then the article points out these pearls of wisdom from sell-out, I mean psychologist, a href=”http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/women_rebuttal_from_uranus/”John Gray/a:br /br /blockquote”Women don’t need men as much as men need women,” said John Gray, the therapist and author of, most famously, “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.”br /”Men have this expectation that women should take care of them,” Dr. Gray said. “And she has her own expectations, that she should be there for him.”br /br /Particularly after retirement, she is not used to having him around quite so much. “It’s different taking care of him for dinner, as opposed to him being home all the time, and expecting her to make every meal,” Dr. Gray said. br /br /(Men who divorce also remarry faster; within three years, compared with nine for women.) They’re looking for love, Dr. Gray said, but they’re also looking for lunch.br /br /Then there are the disputes over sex. Dr. Gray said a woman’s sex drive increases as she ages, while a man’s declines. But then, is Viagra upsetting that balance, putting men in retirement homes permanently on the prowl? /blockquotebr /br /John Gray needs women more than women need him — who else would buy his stuff? Yeah, John, that will help you sell the remainder of whatever sell-out crap for women you are peddling this month. br /br /Finally, this advice from another “expert” really puts the icing on the cake:br /br /blockquoteAnd a shorter widowhood means women will be better off financially, largely because, as Heidi Hartmann, a labor economist and the president of the Institute for Women’s Policy Research, said, “Money attaches to the men.” br /br /There is a lot of poverty among older single women, so if men live longer, that’s good economically, for women and men,” Ms. Hartmann said. “Men are generally happier when they’re married. The women may not be happier, but at least they’ve got more money./blockquotebr /br /Hell, if I was married to a woman like the author of the emTimes/em article, a href=”http://www.timeswatch.org/topicindex/Z/zernike_kate/welcome.asp”Kate Zernike,/a I would probably die early too. However, with fewer young men marrying, maybe women like her coming up won’t have to worry about a husband. I hope that with increased longevity and Viagra, men will find that living single in their later years will beat out a black–I mean, merry widow–who wants nothing more than a free lunch herself. br /br /There’s a famous a href=”http://www.featuringdave.com/logicalmeme/2005/02/world-ends-women-and-minorities.html”parody/a of a iTimes/i headline — “World Ends: Women and Minorities Hardest Hit.” But this is beyond parody: “Men Living Longer: Women Hardest Hit” (Hat Tip:a href=”http://www.swlip.com/2006/04/if_only_men_wou.html” swlip.com/a).