I try to protect my busy mind from useless information: which body hairs the gay friends of newspaper editors are having waxed off; what Michelle Obama thinks I should eat; what feminists have to say about anything. I’ve taught myself to dial it all down to meaningless background noise so it doesn’t distract me from more important stuff, like what’s for dinner. But now and then, in this information-heavy age, you just can’t help finding out something you don’t need to know. And somehow, it’s filtered into my consciousness that there’s some sort of big soccer tournament going on. The World Cup, I’m guessing, since I can’t think of another one.
I saw some headline in the New York Times like, “Let the Excitement Begin!!!” and I thought that must be what it is. And then there are those unbelievably annoying animations on the Google home screen, so yeah, now I’m almost certain. I don’t have to tell you what a boring and offensive game soccer is — no score, no hands, fascist thugs in the stands chanting obscenities and starting riots. If you’re reading this, you can read, so you’re smart enough to figure it out yourself.